Character death ahead, BEWARE. Snape\Lily is my Harry Potter world OTP and it kind of breaks my heart that they never worked out, so here's a one-shot to try to put my feels into words. Read, enjoy, and review!
The morning was positively glowing. Sunlight bathed the entire outdoor world in a buttery warmth, and the trees cast shadows over the lit ground in soft dapples. It was as though the very earth were blooming in celebration of the joining of Lily Evans and James Potter. The home of Severus Snape, however, was blacker and grimmer than ever before.
Behind his closed shutters and drawn curtains, the man sat in an armchair by the fire, the flames having no effect on the frigidness that consumed his entire body and soul. Lily's wedding day. Today Lily will marry Potter. Tonight Lily will be his. Lily will never be mine. Severus had had more than enough time to come to terms with the fact that the woman he loved was giving herself over to another man, but that acceptance did nothing to dull the fact that he felt physically sick at the very thought of Lily as Potter's wife.
Sitting and stewing in his own dark thoughts soon became too much for Severus, and he stood up to pace the length of his living room, the old floorboards creaking more and more intensely as his steps became more frantic. She could still change her mind. It's not too late. Severus couldn't help but entertain fantasies of Lily deciding James was not, in fact, the man of her dreams, and promptly leaving him at the altar. As the morning wore on however, and the morning transformed to afternoon, there was little hope left in Severus, and he finally threw himself back down into his armchair, wishing the fire before him would swallow him up.
It was in this state of self-wallowing that Severus became aware of a soft knock on his front door. The hesitancy and gentleness was enough evidence to convince Severus that Lily was the only person that could possibly be behind that door. Part of him wanted to ignore the knocking, to never face Lily or the engagement ring on her left hand that seemed to shine more and more obvious every time he saw it, but he also knew that Lily was the one person he could never turn away from or ignore. Steeling himself for the onslaught of emotions sure to come, Severus opened the door, tightening his face to prevent any slip of his facade of unaffectedness.
She was a vision. Although she had not yet donned her white wedding gown (a fact Severus was eternally grateful for) she looked every bit a bride. Her red hair seemed to glow scarlet in the afternoon sun, and the light caught every stray hair that blew away from the complicated twist sitting at the back of her head. To Severus' shock, Lily had also applied makeup, her eyes rimmed with black liner and her eyelashes fuller than he had ever seen them, making the dazzling green of her irises more obvious than ever.
"Don't you have a wedding to prepare for? Wouldn't want to leave Potter waiting, now." Severus tried to make his voice sound neutral, bored even, but it came out as more of an accusation.
"You were the only one who didn't respond to the invitation. I figured I should come see you." Lily, with her usual fearlessness, walked past Severus without invitation into his entryway, turning to face him with an annoyed look on her face. "I know you don't like James, but I would have hoped you cared about me enough to at least come to the wedding."
Severus closed the door sharply, sneering as he matched Lily's irritated tone. "You think this is about James? You go years barely speaking to me, even after I apologized to you, and then think that I'd have any interest in watching you hand yourself over to that slimy and-"
"Excuse me? Hand myself over? I'm not a birthday gift being presented to James, I am choosing him. I'm not surrendering anything, I'm sharing myself." Lily looked so offended that for a moment Severus felt a flash of guilt before he returned to his prior state of anger.
"Struck a nerve there, did I? Are you perhaps afraid that Potter himself sees you as merely an object, one he spent years trying to obtain and now is excited to possess entirely?" He knew that his words were completely out of line, but once his emotions were released he couldn't stop himself. "Come now Lily, he wanted you for years before you even gave him a chance, do you really think his intentions with you are not selfish?"
Lily's face was flushed as red as her hair as she stepped forward towards Severus aggressively. "I don't know why the hell you think it's any of your business why James asked me to marry him, or why I chose to accept his offer. I don't expect you to understand anything about love or relationships, the only person you've ever felt anything for is He Who Must Not Be Named!" She reached forward and wrenched up the sleeve of his robes, revealing the Dark Mark branded onto his skin.
Severus stumbled back from her, quickly rolling his sleeve back down to cover the skin she had exposed. "Never cared for anyone? Are you blind?!" He was shouting now, but somehow he didn't care. He lurched forward to grab Lily's shoulders, briefly registering the fact that the dress she wore was sleeveless and he could feel her smooth skin beneath his hands. "I cared for you long before Potter ever did, and I wanted you for more than just your pretty face. I could protect you, the Dark Lord could never harm you if you were mine! We could be happy. Happier than if you stay with that poor excuse for a man."
Lily's eyes were wide with shock as she stared into the depths of Severus'. Her hands had instinctively grabbed his forearms in the moment, but she now dropped them and stepped away from his reach. "You never told me you felt that way."
Severus' face burned with shame as he gazed into her startled face. "I didn't think I needed to. And clearly it wouldn't have changed anything."
"It does change things," Lily challenged. "It changes how I feel about you. At first I could justify your anger, because I thought you were just trying to watch out for me and genuinely though James wasn't good for me. Now I know it was just jealousy the whole time. You only hate James because he has what you always wanted. You're the one treating me like an object. You couldn't care less about my happiness unless it was you that made me happy."
He listened to her rant with increasing dread, hearing how her tone changed from shock to anger. He wanted to deny everything she was saying, wanted to assure her that he did care about her happiness, but he knew there was truth in what she was saying.
There was a solid thirty seconds of silence between them while Severus held Lily's gaze, trying his best to ignore her heaving chest as she slowly calmed her breathing. She finally closed her eyes before opening them again, a rare look of steely confidence reflected in their emerald depths. "I need to go. I have a wedding to go to."
Severus' heart began beating quickly as he realized the imminence of their separation. "Lily-"
"I really don't think there's anything else to say to me." There was a finality to Lily's tone that made Severus cease speaking. "You were a good friend to me, Severus. But you've changed, and I don't think I can justify staying near you anymore. We aren't at Hogwarts anymore, but you are clearly still caught up in your school days. James is different. I'm different. Regardless of how you felt about James or I in school, you have to accept that time has passed and everyone but you is moving on."
Lily brushed past Severus in the narrow hallway on her way back to the door, but he caught her elbow as she passed him, trying to be as gentle as possible. "You were the only person I've ever cared for, Lily. The only one." Their eyes met for one last time before Lily slid her arm from beneath Severus' hand and quietly left the house.
The normally quiet street of Spinner's End was interrupted by lively music, loud laughter, and sparkling fireworks from the Evans household across town. Severus Snape however, was lain in his bed, his wand pointed toward his throat, and his open eyes glazed over with the faint green light left over from his final spell.