I was six years old when my little sister, Sarah, was born. When my mom let me hold her and I looked down at her, I knew I would be the one who looked out for her. I would be the one she came to. I was the one she smiled at first, that toothless grin made me promise to do anything for my baby sister.
Almost a year later, Sarah was crawling around the playroom when I walked in. I noticed that Nora had left her alone and that didn't sit well with me. Some responsible older sister she was. I walked over to where Sarah was and began playing with her. That's when it happened.
"Char," she stammered before repeating it more confidently and giggled. I felt pride sweep through me. Sarah had just said her first word. And not just any first word, she said my name. I picked her up and ran to tell mom. I managed to also let it slip that Sarah's responsible older sister had left her alone in the playroom. Boy was Nora in trouble big time.
"Charlie?" my three year old sister asked from the doorway.
"Yeah?" I replied, seeing that it was one o'clock in the morning.
"I had a bad dream," she responded.
I immediately moved over in my bed and told her that she could sleep with me. I felt pride swell in my nine year chest. Most little kids go to their parents when they have bad dreams, but not my little sister, not Sarah, she came to me. When she was comfortable in the bed she told me about the dream and I comforted her. Once she was asleep, I watched her with a smile for a little while before falling back asleep as well.
She came home from her first day of first grade in tears. The seven year old flung open the door to my room and ran into my 13 year old arms.
"What's wrong?" I asked, holding her close.
"The boys wouldn't let me play kickball with them at recess and the girls made fun of me for wanting to play kickball. And then one of the boys told me that I should play dollies with the other girls. And then I said that I didn't have any dollies. And then they all made fun of me because I was a girl who didn't have dollies." Sarah cried.
"How about you and me go play catch outside? How does that sound?" I asked, knowing the way to cheer Sarah up was through sports.
"I would like that." Sarah responded.
"Alright, show me that smile first."
She flashed me her happy go lucky smile and raced outside, grabbing my football along the way.
"Bet I can throw it harder and farther than you!" she yelled back as she ran down the hallway. I shook my head and followed her. She did just what she said she would. That's when she earned my special nickname for her… Quarterback.
When Sarah was in second grade, she started playing Lacrosse… and getting suspended from playing lacrosse. I was at every game, watching with pride as she became the best player… and the player who got the most game suspensions. She may have only been eight years old but she was a little bundle of power and when someone made her mad she would make them regret it.
"What's wrong, Quarterback?" I asked when she came home from practice, throwing her lacrosse bag down.
"I got suspended from the next game…again." She responded, crossing her arms and slouching in "her" purple chair.
"That's okay. You only did what you thought was best." I replied, kneeling down next to her.
"Of course I did. But I need to stop responding like this or I'll never become a better player."
I was shocked when she said this. She was smart for a nine year old.
"I guess you have a point kiddo."
"I know I do. I just don't know how I'm going to do it."
"I'll help you anyway I can."
"Thanks Charlie."
"No problem."
Fifth grade was when Sarah and Lorraine started having their issues. Sarah was 11 and Lorraine was 15 and they were complete opposites. Sarah was closer to me and her other brothers and Lorraine was set on making Sarah girly. Twice a year, mom managed to force Sarah into a skirt, sometimes a dress, and that was only for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I heard her door slamming shut and immediately set out to find Lorraine. He shook his head as he found her steaming and muttering about stubborn little sisters in her room.
"Lorraine, you need to stop treating Sarah like this!" I yelled, closing her door, wanting to keep mom and dad oblivious to this conversation. I didn't need them finding out about this and then expecting me to do the same kind of thing for my other siblings. Don't get me wrong, I love my other eleven siblings but Sarah's different. I don't know why, but she takes precedent over the others. I would kill for her and I wasn't going to let her older sister take away the only sister I could talk and play sports with.
"Whatever. If Butch wants to be ridiculed for her style, that's her problem. But you should encourage the change Charlie. I thought you of all people would want to do anything to prevent Sarah's feelings getting hurt." Lorraine responded, leveling me with a glare. I rolled my eyes and went to walk out of her room.
"I would. But I would also do anything to keep someone from forcing Sarah to change who she is." Then I walked out of her room, leaving her fuming. She had stopped trying to change Sarah's style and had reverted to ridiculing her for it instead. But I knew Sarah could hold her own, which she proved time and time again.
The next year, we moved and everything changed. Well, some things remained the same but dad had this new coaching job and was hardly ever home. When mom went on a book tour, everything went to hell. He became a different person and it sucked. Once a week, it was my job to put everyone to bed, which was basically make sure everyone's in bed when they're supposed to be. I always did the twins first. Nigel and Kyle always took 45 minutes exactly to get in bed. Kim and Jess only took five. Mike would always go to bed right after Sarah read to him. I watched her read Where The Wild Things Are, the very book I would read to her when she was his age, and realized that Mike was to Sarah what Sarah was to me. They were six years apart but had an unshakable bond. Mike's first word was Sarah, and I know exactly why she did what she did for that little boy. Sarah was close to Jake, who was a year younger than her, but they had more of a twin connection. What Sarah had with Mike was something different, something that couldn't be described. I watched from Mike's doorway as she finished reading the book.
"Time for bed. Charlie will be here soon to make sure you're in bed." Sarah said, putting the book away and tucking her little brother in.
"But, I'm not tired Sarah." Mike said, following up with a large yawn.
"Sure you aren't." Sarah giggled.
"Sarah? Will you play hockey with me tomorrow?" Mike asked, eyes shining with hope.
"Of course I will. Goodnight, Mikey. Sweet dreams." Sarah whispered, pulling the cover up to his chin and pressing a kiss to his forehead. She turned off his lamp and walked into the hallway.
"Aren't you supposed to in bed, missy?" I asked jokingly from my spot, causing her jump.
"You scared me, Charlie. And I was just heading to bed. I lost track of time. I was with Mike, he's having bully issues at school and Jake can only do so much to help. I wish me and Jake were twins, that way I could be there to help Mike." Sarah said.
"I know how you feel. Now, go to your room and get ready for bed. I'll be there soon to make sure you aren't plotting anything. I finished my rounds. Lorraine hated that I was in charge so we fought for about ten minutes about her needing to get off the phone. It ended when I took her phone and took the battery out. She shoved me out of the room and locked the door. I laughed as I made my way to Henry's room. He immediately put the clarinet away and got into bed. Mark was already fast sleep when I got up to his room. I walked to Sarah and Jake's room, they had somehow managed to weasel their way into sharing a room. They were sitting on their beds whispering, most likely plotting. I knocked on the wall as I entered and they immediately stopped talking.
"Goodnight you two," I said.
"Good night, Charlie," Jake said as I helped him clear his bed of his undone homework and his skateboarding gear. After he was in bed, I turned to Sarah.
"Goodnight Sarah. And whatever you two were just plotting, make sure you leave Lorraine out of it. I think you're only a nudge away from her killing you." I warned as she climbed into bed.
"It won't be that bad, Charlie. Cross my heart." She said with that smirk she learned from me. She got under the covers and smiled up at me.
"Sweet dreams, Char," she said smile growing at the look on my face, a look of pure joy.
"Sweet dreams, Quarterback." I responded, kissing her forehead. As I turned the light off, I heard her whisper, "I love you, Charlie."
Smiling to myself, I replied, "I love you, too, Sarah."
To be frank, I hated Hank. He was full of himself and clearly did not deserve Nora. But what I hated most was how he treated Sarah. She treated her like she was the Devil himself, granted every time he came around she mastermind a prank, but he treated her like she was inferior to him the first time they met, so really he clearly deserved everything she threw at him. So he clearly deserved the underwear soaked in meat incident. She was a mastermind and everyone in the family hopped she never set her sights on world domination, that would be bad. She brought up the idea once as a joke and scared many of us… she was only five at the time.
Dad thought I came back after leaving because of the family. But he's wrong. After I left, I remembered that if I wasn't there, no one would be there to look after Sarah and that thought scared me. If I was gone, Lorraine would start up her makeover crusade and that would change Sarah. I turned the car around and sped back home. Beth could wait until I could get a weekend to visit. I remember when Sarah saw me walk back into the house, her smile was bigger than her face. She wouldn't let go of me for the rest of the night. I, obviously, went with her, Jake, and Mike to try to find Mark. When we did find him Sarah told him, "If you ever try that again, I will have to kill you." But I knew her words were also directed at me. I knew I would never leave her behind.
We went to the Lake over memorial day weekend, after Lorraine's graduation and for the first time, Mark was the first one to cause trouble. Okay, well technically, it was Sarah, Jake, and Mike who brought the fireworks and put them into the backpack they gave to Mark. But Mark, knowing it contained fireworks, placed it by fire. But before all hell broke loose, I was standing on the deck drinking a glass a Champaign, not my normal drink of choice but it was all this place was serving for free. My eyes found Sarah, Jake, and Mike practicing their skateboarding. Mike wanted be as much like Sarah as possible and that meant I had had to convince mom that if Sarah and Jake could make it through learning the learning process, then Mike could too. After all, Sarah wouldn't let Mike do anything that could kill him as was mom's fear. The three were currently talking to a boy, one of Jimmy's kids. I immediately noticed that Sarah was biting her lip and seemed to not be able to stop looking at this boy. But I also noticed just how this boy was looking at my BABY sister. I narrowed my eyes but before I could move to go down to where they were, the four of them raced off. I would have to keep an eye on this boy.
We went for brunch at the Boulders and I followed Ann down to the wine cellar, not before noticing Sarah fixing her hair before following Jake and whatshisface.
Jake confronts me later.
"We have a serious problem." He said, skidding to a stop in front of me.
"What's wrong?" I asked, laughter evident in my voice.
"Sarah."
"Where is she?" I demanded, looking around frantically for my little sister.
"Chill, big bro. She's pranking Jimmy for dad. Anyway, Elliot likes her and I'm pretty sure she likes him, too. It's not a good situation, dude. She's acting like a… a…. a GIRL!" Jake exclaims.
Lorraine overhears that and laughs into her hand.
"It was bound to happen someday." She puts in. I give her a shocked look.
"Look, Sarah is a beautiful girl, without makeup. According to Henry, every guy in her class likes her. She's bound to get a boyfriend sometime. Wouldn't you be happier if that boyfriend didn't go to her school?" Lorraine asked smiling.
"I would be happier if she joined a convent." I muttered.
Lorraine just laughed and walked over to Nora. When I heard Nora laugh, I knew Lorraine had told her what we were discussing.
When it was time to eat, Lorraine and Nora sat on either side of me and had Nigel and Kyle and Mark and Henry do the same with Jake and Mike. Sarah took the seat next to Elliot. I realized a little later that she hadn't even glanced to see if there was a free seat next to me, Jake, or Mike. I knew Sarah liked Elliot and I really did not like that at all. He wasn't good enough for her. No one was good enough for her.
When Elliot asked her out, I hid how much it affected me. When she called for Lorraine to help her, I knew she really liked this boy. I mean, Sarah actually wanting Lorraine to help her get ready? We actually feared it was the end of the world. When she came outside, I almost teared up. Mike slipped his drink and Jake dropped whatever it was he was holding. Lorraine smiled as she walked over to me, Nora also came over. My older sister put her hand on my shoulder and Lorraine hugged me. I knew what dad was going through was worse. While she was gone, I had to force myself to remain occupied. I fixed the tire swing for dad; I remembered pushing Sarah in it when she was younger. I helped Jake and Mike with their boarding by videotaping them. I even helped Kim and Jess study for the scholastic thingy. Eventually, I locked myself in my room and told Lorraine to make sure I didn't leave to ensure that I wouldn't go to that movie theater to spy on my little sister's first date. When I heard Lorraine tell me that she was home, I unlocked the door and was down stairs in a flash. That's when I found out dad had followed her and when she stormed up to the room she shared with Lorraine, Kim, and Jess, I saw the tears and was glad I hadn't gone through with my plan. When mom said she would go talk to her I interrupted, "No, mom. I got this. Besides, she only opens the door for me when she's upset. You know that." Mom smiled at me as I went upstairs, throwing a glare at my dad on the way. Everyone else dispersed and I knew, as I held a crying Sarah that Jake, Mike, Nigel, and Kyle were waiting outside the door. I also knew that Henry was downstairs with Nora and Lorraine chewing out dad, along with mom, for pulling that stunt. I was so glad that I hadn't done that. She eventually cried herself dry.
"I'm so sorry dad did that. You do know he was doing it for a reason, right? He was worried. But you're right, he shouldn't have followed you." I whispered.
"I love you, Char," she sniffled, pulling back.
"I love you, too, Quarterback. You want me to send in the clowns now?" I responded.
"Yeah."
I kissed her forehead and got off her bed. I opened the door and four of her younger brothers ran into the room and surrounded her, Mike settling himself in her lap, hugging her tightly. I smiled and shut the door behind me. I joined my mom and three of my siblings in talking to dad.
I watched as my, now, 18 year old sister walked across the stage, graduating high school and starting a new chapter in her life. My, now wife, Ann laughed as I shed a few tears, but as I looked at my dad, Jake, and Mike, I shrugged it off, they were crying too. So were Lorraine, Nora, and mom. Shortly after her graduation, dad died of a heart attack. At first Sarah thought about taking a year off before college, something Jake was strongly for. For a while, she wouldn't open her acceptance letters, but eventually, she made her decision. She would be attending University of Wisconsin- Madison with Elliot and I was never more thankful that I opened up my garage only one block away from the dorm they were both staying in. I warned her that I would be visiting her daily and Elliot had better not be there when I come. There had been more than one occasion when I knew he was in the closet. Sarah will never admit it, but I can tell she enjoys it when I spend time with her. She's told me that I was part of the reason she chose that school and I know that she's the reason Elliot's there. I knew that that boy loved Sarah and I also knew that she loved him too, which did not prepare me for the day Elliot showed up at the garage and asked to speak to me in my office three years later. I knew this wasn't going to be good.
"Charlie, I want to start off by saying that you have a very nice office—" he started, fidgeting.
"Cut the sucking up." I interrupted.
"I want to ask for your permission."
Those words filled me with dread. I saw them coming but I dutifully ignored them. But I couldn't ignore it anymore.
"For what?"
I really wanted to put off having to answer.
"To ask Sarah to marry me." Elliot responded. His eyes found a picture on my desk. It was of me and Sarah, right after I gave her her special nickname. She was holding the football while I was spinning her around. Mom had taken it and I had stolen it shortly after she got it printed. It was my favorite. I saw Elliot become more nervous, seeing that Sarah really was my baby sister. I had taught her all she needed to know.
"I only want her to be happy and you seem to make her happy." Was all I said. Elliot smiled and left my office. I left my assistant in charge and went home.
"What's wrong?" Ann asked when I walked into the house.
"Elliot's going to ask her to marry him." I replied, sitting down on the couch and putting my head in my hands.
"Oh, sweetie," was all Ann said. She sat down next to me and held me as I tried to shake off the thought that I wasn't going to be her number one anymore.
Three hours later Sarah ran into our apartment and hugged me tightly, happiness radiating off of her. She told us that Elliot proposed and I pretended to be happy for her. She saw right through it.
"It'll just take some getting used to, that's all." I told her when she asked.
"Char, you'll always be my number one. You're the best older brother a girl could ask for. I love you, Char." She said, throwing her arms around me.
"I love you, too, Quarterback." I replied, wrapping my arms tightly around her.
Her wedding day was worse. Both of us were crying. And I managed to collect myself long enough for me to give her away and take my seat next to Ann. Lorraine was Sarah's Maid of Honor and Calvin was Elliot's Best Man. I noticed that all us Baker siblings were crying as the minister said, "You may now kiss the bride."
Sarah had officially started the next chapter in her life. A chapter where I couldn't constantly watch over her. And that scared me. But I now had my own daughter to look after. Me and Ann had named Sarah and Elliot godparents and only nine months later, Sarah gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl named Charlie and Serena. She named me and Ann the godparents. But Jake and Mike demanded to be godfathers as well. They got their wish when a year later, Sarah had another set of twins, two boys named Jacob and Michael. Jake and Mike were named godfathers but me and Ann were named legal guardians. I had watched my baby sister grow up from the prankster to an artist who owned a gallery of her work but worked from home so she could keep her ten kids in line, all who were very much like herself. Five girls and five boys to add to the chaos that was family get-togethers. She was all grown up and she told me later that she was who she was because of me. And those words couldn't have made me happier.