Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.
Just Stay
by. Poisoned Scarlett
Erza wonders about things someone like her shouldn't: she wonders how she would look like in her wedding dress and she wonders if Natsu would destroy the cake during a scuffle with Gray. She wonders if her hair should be restyled, she wonders if perhaps her lingerie is not trendy enough for the season. She wonders if she should do her nails like Lucy does, and if she should take acting classes because she thinks she has a talent for it. But, most of all, Erza wonders if she would know all of these things if she only pushed herself a little more.
She wonders if Jellal would have married her if she had gone after him years and years ago, not until the last moment.
She wonders if she had more confidence, would she have restyled her hair?
Bought new lingerie?
Done her nails?
Taken acting, because performing was just another challenge, right? Erza thrives on challenges, that's what everyone says, that's what she believes. It's what everyone believes.
But she did not: she did not rescue Jellal before the irreparable damage done to him, she did not restyle her hair and has never, she only has lingerie that she bought years ago, she has never done her nails, and she has refused to take acting classes because performing is likely the only thing that can stun her into paralysis. She has not done any of the above, it's all images drawn up in her mind to be revisited over and over again until she tires of the longing and forces herself to forget.
But Erza can't forget.
"Erza," Gray calls, watching her gaze down the dirt trail expressionlessly. "He's gone. We've missed him by a few hours. We have to go back and report to Master."
"…Has the trail gone cold yet?"
"Natsu can't catch his scent anywhere," Gray tells her. He knows she's tired and he knows she's hurting because if he had to hunt down the one he loved, he would be hurting as well. He would have probably rebelled. He doesn't know if this means she's loyal to those she's vowed to or if she's simply cold. But he knows better than to think she's cold. "We're gonna' head back to the Guild for now until we can catch his trail again. C'mon, before that idiot destroys anything else."
Erza can forget many things.
Erza can pretend to be okay.
Erza can rise to any challenge.
Erza is steel and fire.
But she can't forget Jellal and her wedding dress.
Steel chips, fire blows out.
And Titania Scarlet can't forget the boy who named her, and it burns the crisp edges of her heart every time his name slips past her lips at night.
A/N: Drabble I wrote on Tumblr a while back. Figured it was time I posted it here!
Scar.