Chapter 1

"Welcome to Welby State Psychiatric Hospital. How can I help you?"

Déjà vu, I think as I pull out my ID and slap it down on the marble countertop. The last time I stood in front of this desk, over five years ago, I never in a million years expected that I'd be back. I glance to my left, at the doorway leading into the room marked "Recreation." When I was seventeen years old, I walked through those doors and confronted the person who forced me to hurt people, who locked me underground for months, and who tried to kill me on my junior prom night.

Even being back here is nauseating. But I have to remind myself that I'm not here under the same circumstances this time. I'm here under much happier ones.

"Hi," I say, sliding my ID over to the receptionist. "My sister's being released today, I'm picking her up."

The receptionist plucks my license off of the table and holds it between her long, hot pink, obviously fake nails. She smiles and glances at me. "Viola, of course. I just have a few papers for you to sign and then you can head on back."

I grin down at the paperwork that she slides in front of me. WELBY STATE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL: GUARDIAN RELEASE CONTRACT. Since my mom moved to New Hampshire a few months ago to take care of my ailing grandfather, I was granted temporary conservatorship when Mona was evaluated and sent to Welby three months ago. Even though she's being released today, I'll have guardianship for a few more months, or at least until she can prove to the doctors that she's capable of being a regular adult again.

I'm not so sure that will ever happen, but I'm trying to be positive.

I scan over the release forms and sign them eagerly. "Do you know where you're going?" the receptionist asks once I've handed them back to her.

"Yes," I reply, successfully keeping myself from scoffing. This place is basically my second home these days. I know the layout almost as well as I knew Radley's.

I barge into room two-fourteen to find my sister sitting cross-legged on the bed, wearing the usual hospital gown and holding a small duffel bag. "I have real clothes!" I say in a sing-song, tossing a plastic bag containing a sweater and jeans onto the bed.

"This is really happening?" Mona asks, standing immediately. "You signed the release forms?"

"They're being authorized as we speak," I say cheerfully. "All you have to do is change and we're out of here."

"Thank God," she says, and throws her arms around me. I blink in surprise and raise my arms to hug her back. "Thank you."

I pull away, taken aback by the genuine sincerity in her tone. "You don't have to thank me, I'm your sister," I say, smiling awkwardly. "And right now I'm also basically your parent, so hurry up and change so we can leave."

As Mona exchanges the flimsy hospital gown for the clothes I brought, I grab the suitcase from the corner and wheel it over to the door. Then I turn back and gaze around the small, dismal room. The lobby and recreation rooms are so light and airy, with comfortable furniture and wide-open space. But back in here, with the bars in front of the window and the metal-framed bed, if I squint I swear this could be Radley.

My sister sets the neatly folded hospital gown on the bed and grabs the duffel bag, and we head back down the hallway toward the lobby. "Your room's all set up," I say, referring to the former guestroom of my new, two bedroom apartment. "You can decorate it however you want, though, I don't really care."

"Oh, that's the last thing on my mind right now," Mona says lightly, and we pause to let a nurse and a young red-haired woman with large, glassy eyes cross the hall in front of us. The girl is holding the nurse's arm with one hand and tapping a plastic walking stick in front of her with the other. The click clack of the cane against the tile floor creates a strange echo effect.

Once they've passed I grab the suitcase handle again and keep walking, the front doors in view. I've only taken a few steps when I realize that I'm alone. Startled, I glance back and forth, then turn around. Mona is standing a few yards behind me, staring at the ground. Her face is ashen.

"Hey," I call, leaving the suitcase and retracing my steps. "What's wrong?"

She blinks and meets my eyes, looking kind of dazed. "Oh. Um, nothing, I guess I'm just still adjusting to this new dose of meds they put me on."

I raise my eyebrows. "Wait, they're still messing around with your meds? I thought – "

"It's nothing major," Mona says, hitching her bag higher on her shoulder and breezing past me. "Just trying to find the right balance. They'll be monitoring it during my appointments."

"Ah, yes," I reply, pushing through the front doors and out into the fresh air, "the appointments." Last week, during my previous visit, Mona gave me a list of all the appointments she has scheduled at Welby over the next few months. Therapy sessions, psychiatrist appointments, a few more tests…the calendar on my phone currently has more of her stuff on it than it does my own.

"Seriously, Vi, I feel bad that I'm going to be taking up such a big part of your life," my sister says as we load her bags into the trunk of my car. There's so much sincerity in her voice that it sounds almost false.

I wrinkle my nose at the exaggeration. "I'd hardly call telling you to get off your butt and get to your doctor's appointment a big part of my life." There's a long pause, and when I glance over, she's staring at me incredulously. "What?"

"I…I'm not allowed to drive, Viola," she says slowly, shaking her head. "At least not until they get my meds completely figured out. I thought I mentioned that."

She hadn't. I take a step back from the car and the trunk falls closed with a sharp bang that makes us both flinch. "So I'm, um…I'm going to be driving you to all of your appointments and everything?" My mind flashes back to the full schedule on my calendar. Welby is twenty minutes away from my apartment. Even thinking about it sends all of the energy rushing from my body.

"Look, I know it's a lot to ask," Mona says once we're in the car. "But right now you're kind of…the only person I have."

I close my eyes and drum my fingers against the steering wheel, trying to sort through a range of different emotions. "It's fine, of course it's fine," I say finally, exhaling. "We'll make it work."

Hopefully with a little help.

…

Three short knocks, that's all it takes. Three little raps on the door right in front of me. I shouldn't be so nervous about this, but my stomach has butterflies…or maybe wasps would be the more appropriate figure of speech.

Do it, I command myself sharply. Then I squeeze my eyes shut, reach out, and knock. I thankfully remember to open my eyes again before the door swings open.

I was fearing Caleb, but am relieved to see Hanna standing in front of me, even if the look on her face isn't particularly welcoming. "Um, Viola…hey."

"Hi," I reply, forcing a smile. "Do you mind if…can I come in for a second?"

"Yeah," Hanna says, looking taken aback. "Yeah, sure." She steps aside with obvious reluctance, and I walk into the loft, gazing around. It looks exactly the same as it did three months ago. I want to ask her if Lucas knows she's still living here, if he's still paying for this place, but now probably isn't the best time.

Hanna shuts the door and turns to face me, crossing her arms. I open my mouth and suddenly blurt out, with no permission from my brain, "I saw you and Caleb the other day. Coming out of Lucky Leon's. I was across the street and, um…you guys looked really happy together. I was so glad."

She looks at me like I've lost my mind. "Thanks. But I know that's not what you came over here to tell me, so spill it."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I haven't spoken to Hanna in over two months. I have no idea where her mind is, how she's going to feel about this. "Mona was released from the hospital today," I announce in a rush.

Hanna's confused expression freezes, and the slight smirk she'd been giving me melts away. "I…I thought Dr. Sullivan said at least six months."

"Originally," I explain. "But last month she got kind of roughed up by some beast of a woman who used to be in a gang or something. And she was responding so well to the treatment by that point that the doctors agreed that outpatient care would be the best way to go."

She sits down on the edge of the orange sofa, resting her elbows on her knees. "She didn't tell me any of that," she mutters, staring straight ahead like I'm not even in the room.

I move forward cautiously, perplexed. "What? Who's 'she,' Mona? You've talked to her?" I wrack my brain, trying to think of a time when that could have happened.

Hanna looks back up at me. Her expression is defiant, but I can see the guilt in her eyes. "I've been visiting her," she says loudly. "Since the very beginning."

Once again I feel like I'm back in high school, learning that I was not the only person making frequent trips to Radley over the summer. My stomach hurts. I sink down onto the couch next to her. "Wait. No you haven't."

"Yeah, I have," Hanna insists, sounding kind of annoyed, even though she's the one dropping the bombshells, not me. "Practically every week. I asked Mona not to tell anyone, including you."

I flinch, wrinkling my nose. This doesn't make any sense. "Why didn't you want me to know?"

"I didn't want it getting back to my friends, okay?" she bursts out, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "They don't care why Mona killed Charlotte, just that she did. They think she's dangerous."

"They're idiots," I snap instinctively. She raises her eyebrows at me and I bite my lip. "Sorry. But I – I don't understand. They saw her break down at the Lost Woods, they know what happened the night Charlotte died. They know it was freaking self-defense! What's the deal?"

Hanna holds up her hands, getting up from the couch. "I don't know, okay? But trust me, it's better for everyone if they don't know that I've been visiting her." She looks me up and down. "So that's it?"

Disappointment twinges at my gut at her sharp words. Years ago, Hanna was like family. She slept over at my house and let me hang out and read fashion magazines and talk about boys even when my sister clearly wanted me to leave. She bought me (or, okay, maybe stole) a little pearl necklace for my fifteenth birthday. She was the only one of the girls that I really felt close to, like I was more than just a rarely trusted source of information.

But by the way she's looking at me now, like she could not be more uncomfortable having me in her apartment, it's obvious that all that history means nothing.

That should really make me rethink what I came here to ask, but for some reason it just makes me even more determined. I stand up, square my shoulders, and say, "No, that's not all. I actually have a…favor to ask you."

Hanna pauses, staring at me. "What is it?" she asks, clearly irritated.

Even though annoyance seems to be her normal state of emotion these days, it's hard not to take her attitude personally. "I just…I was wondering," I begin shakily, clasping my hands behind my back, "if you would be willing to help me out with Mona. She's got all these appointments at Welby, and she's not allowed to drive, and I…I can't do it all myself." I picture my calendar again and fight the immediate exhaustion that follows.

The thinly veiled irritation on Hanna's face falls away. She looks completely blank. Then she laughs incredulously and shakes her head, throwing open the front door. "No," she says, and steps aside, a clear message for me to leave. "No way."

But I'm not giving up that easily. "Come on," I plead, not moving toward the door. "I'm not asking if she can move in with you. It'd just be a few hours out of your week at most, a doctor's appointment or a therapy session, or…just whenever I can't make it work."

Hanna shakes her head again, but I can see sympathy begin to replace apathy, her eyes softening. I don't know if it's because of my obvious desperation or because she still has some love in her heart for my sister and myself, but I go with it, walking over and grabbing her hands. "Hanna, please. I know I'm putting you in a kind of weird place. But my mom's out of the state and I have literally no one else to ask. No one else would do this. But I trust you, and I know Mona does too, even if you don't trust her. You obviously still care, otherwise you wouldn't have been sneaking into Welby. Please."

She closes her eyes and pulls her hands out of mine, folding her arms. I wait anxiously, my heart beating hard. If she says no, I don't know what I'll do. I can't do all of this myself. I just can't.

"Fine," Hanna says after a long moment, and I'm so relieved my knees nearly give out. "I'll do it. Just send me the schedule and I'll tell you what works for me."

"I will as soon as I get home," I say, grinning. I want to hug her, but restrain myself, squeezing her arm instead. "God, Hanna, thank you so much. You've saving my life. I really owe you."

"No," she says, sounding genuine for the first time, "you don't." She opens the door wider, and I take the hint this time, stepping out into the hallway with a brief goodbye.

And maybe I'm seeing things, but I could swear that as she closes the door after me, she's smiling.

...

I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me, huh? I'd been taking quite the break from writing, but the atrocity that was the finale inspired me to continue Viola's story. Seriously, you guys, I had the lowest of expectations for that episode...and I was still disappointed and disgusted. So this is going to be a completely different story. Completely. Different A.D. storyline, different plot altogether, and...let's just say I hope none of you are too attached to the show's endgame ships. As of now, at least two of them are absolutely not making it to the end, and I'm still deciding on the others.

For anyone who's not familiar with Viola, it's probably pretty obvious after reading this just who she is, but one of my previous stories, "Sister, Sister," gives a better idea of her character and history.

I hope you enjoyed and please drop me a review! I have the first five chapters or so written so far, and I'm posting this here purely because I'd like to get some feedback on it, so the only way I'm going to update frequently is if I get some!