Note: This is a companion piece for "Camp Us" (college AU) that fits between chapters six and seven, during winter break. It is very silly. It is also a belated birthday gift for Liz, who is great, and who wrote a fabulous (and smutty!) Koy companion piece for Camp Us entitled "(But Ignore the Rules)" that you should go read. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZ.
Winning
"Oof," Zatanna announced (yes, announced) as she flopped down onto one of the overstuffed sofas in Dick's basement, black hair mussed and pale cheeks flushed. "That's enough fun for today, thanks."
"Agreed," groaned Artemis, pulling off her hat and shaking out her hair – snowflakes scattered onto the carpet in front of the fireplace and melted instantly.
The gang had just come in from a marathon afternoon on the estate grounds, making use of the snow and the private property, and it went without saying that the weather-related warfare had been intense. All in all, though, not a bad way to spend New Year's Day.
"Oh come on," Wally grinned, swinging himself over the back of the armchair to steal the spot before Dick could. "Don't tell me you're tired already."
"I'm tired already," Artemis told him, tossing her hat onto the linoleum floor of the kitchenette.
(Which is kind of your fault, she didn't say, because so far everyone was either very clueless or very politely ignoring the fact that the two of them had spent the previous night together. It had been the champagne's fault – definitely the champagne – but either way, the others didn't need to be reminded.)
"Lame," said Dick. As the rest of the group filed into the room, he flipped a switch on the wall and brought the fire to life, gas flames leaping up behind their metal veil. A pleasant wave of heat rolled through the room, stinging Artemis's frozen nose.
"Ooh, that's nice," Megan smiled, threading her arm through Conner's.
"Is there someplace you would like us to put our wet things?" Kaldur asked Dick as he came in, scarf in hand.
Artemis was about to make a dirty joke, but Wally beat her to it by sniggering meaningfully.
"Alfred'll get them," said Dick with a shrug. "So, wherever."
"Who?" asked Roy, rescuing his flask from his jacket pocket before he tossed the garment unceremoniously onto the floor.
"Alfred," said Zatanna from the couch. "You know, the guy who fed your lazy ass all day yesterday? You might not have noticed him. You and Wally were pretty busy with the video games."
"I noticed him," Roy objected. "But come on, I barely remember all your names. You expect me to remember his?"
Kaldur's sigh was subtle, but Artemis didn't miss it as she watched him stoop to recover Roy's coat.
Soon, the eight of them had shucked their various winter things and arranged themselves around the fireplace, smushed and sprawled across the sofas and cushions with a haphazard sort of coziness. It was a nice setup – Dick had this entire wing of the mansion basement to himself, providing more than enough space for everyone to crash for a few days, which they were all set to do. Artemis still wasn't sure how they'd managed to orchestrate the whole thing without her catching on, but given that she was getting 72 unexpected hours with her favorite people in the world, she wasn't about to complain (even if said people were sneaky bastards).
True to Dick's prediction, Alfred appeared while they were settling in, bearing a broad tray of steaming hot cocoa, coffee, and various snacks, much to the appreciation of all present.
"Dinner will be served in thirty minutes," he informed them as he set it down on the end table. "Master Bruce has indicated that there is no need for you all to dress up for it."
"Oh good," said Dick. "Half an hour isn't exactly time for all of us to get clean, anyway. Well, not without doubling up in the shower."
Alfred arched an eyebrow.
"Exciting as your youthful pastimes may be, Master Richard, I do not require the details."
And with that, he was gone, taking their snow gear with him.
"I like that guy," said Wally as they all watched him go.
Dick just grinned.
"Yeah, you'd have to be pretty fucked up not to."
"So," said Megan when they'd all gotten their mugs of cocoa and coffee (or in Wally's case, both drinks and a mountain of snacks). She was reclined against Conner's chest on one of the long couches, a fuzzy blanket draped over the both of them. "What do you all want to do until dinner?"
"I don't know," said Zee, yawning. " I'm pretty comfortable right here. Can't we just talk?"
"No," said Artemis sternly. "No talking."
"Okay," said Roy, shrugging agreeably.
"We could play a game that doesn't require getting up," Dick pointed out.
Conner blinked.
"Like what?"
"I mean, this is basically like a giant slumber party, right?" Dick reasoned. "We're pretty much required to play a stupid slumber party game at one point or another. We might as well play one now while we're sober, or we'll have to put up with Kid Flask's dumb metabolistic advantage in the middle of a game of Truth or Dare."
"Um, I veto Truth or Dare," said Artemis.
Yeah, that was a no-go. Way too much could go wrong.
"Fine, then Ten Fingers or something," said Dick.
"Why do I have the feeling you're plotting something, Grayson?" asked Artemis.
Dick gave her a serious look.
"I never plot."
"He schemes," Wally informed them, nodding sagely over his marshmallow-stuffed mug.
"Ten Fingers is fine with me," said Zatanna, shrugging. "Who's going first?"
"Oh hell no," said Roy, cradling his coffee against his chest as he rose from his seat. "I left high school for a reason."
"Notice he didn't say graduated," Artemis muttered to Zee.
"Aw, don't be such a wet blanket, Grumpy," said Wally, tossing a marshmallow at the older boy. "You scared we'll all have done way more shit than you or what?"
"Believe me when I say that's not the issue," Roy told him. "You kids play, I'm gonna go smoke. What was the rule, Trust Fund?"
"At least a hundred feet away from the building," said Dick helpfully.
"...I could have sworn it was fifty."
"Maybe you shoulda thought of that before you pansied out of the game."
Two middle fingers and the roll of a sliding glass door later, Roy was gone, out to enjoy the company of his cigarettes and his flask.
"Anyone going to consider bringing him his jacket?" asked Artemis.
"No."
The group turned, collectively surprised to discover that Kaldur was the one who'd spoken.
"What are the rules of this game?" he asked, either oblivious to their reactions or deliberately ignoring them. "I do not believe I have played."
"Uh, have you played Never Have I Ever?" asked Dick. "It's the same thing."
Kaldur shook his head.
"It's really simple," said Megan. "Everyone holds up ten fingers, then we all take turns saying things we've never done. If you've done that thing, you have to put a finger down."
"And clap," Artemis added.. "It's no fun unless you have to clap."
Kaldur looked skeptical.
"What is the purpose of this exercise?"
"Nothing, it's just silly," said Dick. "You get to find out what crazy stuff your friends have done."
"I see," said Kaldur, clearly not seeing. "What is there to prevent the players from lying?"
"Dude, honor," said Wally. "We're all friends here, right? We can be real with each other."
Artemis chose not to comment, as she fully intended to lie as much and as often as she felt like it.
"All right," said Kaldur at last, though he still sounded dubious. "I believe I understand. Shall I start?"
"Sure," said Megan, as the whole group – even Conner, Artemis noted with some surprise – held up their hands, setting down mugs and snacks as necessary to do so.
Kaldur looked around at the rest of them.
"I have never skipped a class," he announced.
Amidst various dismayed murmurs, everyone but Megan put down a finger.
"You're supposed to start it with 'never have I ever,'" she said. "But it's okay. That was a really good one. Who's next?"
"I'll go," said Dick. "Never have I ever bought condoms."
"What?!" Artemis demanded as she dropped a finger. "That's crap, there are a bunch sitting on your desk at school."
"Didn't buy 'em," Dick grinned, proudly waggling his nine fingers. "Got them from the bin downstairs."
"Yeah, no one buys condoms," said Wally, giving Artemis a look. "You get them free from student health. Seriously?"
"No one tells me anything," Artemis muttered unhappily. At least no one ever told Conner or Kaldur anything, either, apparently – they'd both lost a finger on that one.
"Zee, you go next," said Dick.
"Bah, why me?" she responded, making a pouty face. "Give me a second. I hate coming up with these."
"Here, I'll go," Wally interjected, mouth full of graham cracker. "I got one. I've never smoked a joint."
"Never have I ever smoked a joint," Megan corrected in a mumble.
Rolling her eyes, Artemis clapped and put down her third finger of the game, then looked around to see who had done the same. Almost no one, except –
"Kaldur, seriously?" Zee said, looking as surprised as Artemis felt.
The older boy shrugged, looking no less serious than usual.
"Roy," he said simply.
"Aren't RAs supposed to prevent their residents from doing that kind of thing?" asked Conner.
"Oh, and we all know Roy is such a modelRA," said Artemis sarcastically. "Pretty sure they're also not supposed to sleep with said residents. I'm just saying."
"Has the game concluded?" Kaldur asked pointedly.
"Okay, okay, I have one," Zee interjected, swerving the conversation off its uncomfortable trajectory. "I've never been in a fight."
"What kind of fight?" Megan wanted to know.
"Like a physical fight," said Zee, raising an eyebrow. "Of course I've been in an argument. Who hasn't?"
"Megan, probably," Wally surmised. The cheerleader blushed, but didn't correct him.
"God damn it," Artemis groaned as she clapped once again. Of course she'd been in a fight. She'd been in more fights than she could count, just not since college.
...Okay, only one since college (the guy had called Zee a nasty name – he'd deserved everything she'd given him...which might have included a broken nose). "I'm on the express bus to losing this game, aren't I?"
"Or winning," said Dick brightly, taking a sip of his hot cocoa. "Depends on your perspective."
Glancing around the circle, Artemis tried to gauge who else had put a finger down on that one – there had been a few claps. Conner was down, no surprise there, but the only other one who seemed to have lost another was –
"Kaldur, um, you do understand the game, right?" Artemis asked, giving him a look. "You put down a finger if you have done the thing."
"I understand the game perfectly well," he replied.
"You've been in a fight?" Artemis checked. "Like a real fight?"
"Yes."
"Roy again?" Zee speculated.
"No," said Kaldur, and didn't elaborate.
"Then what? With who?" asked Wally curiously.
"With whom," Megan mumbled.
"I do not recall the rule that requires me to explain myself," said Kaldur.
"Oh," said Dick suddenly, eyes widening in realization, but when all eyes in the room turned to him, he shook his head. "No, never mind. Forget it."
"When did this game become about keeping secrets instead of spilling them?" Wally complained.
Artemis was just fine with not spilling secrets left and right, but even she was curious. Kaldur seemed like a pretty pacifistic guy – she'd never seen him raise his voice to someone, much less a hand. There had to be a story in there somewhere. Perhaps some detective work was in order.
"Everybody shut up and play," said Conner. "He doesn't have to tell you anything."
"Fine, but that means you're volunteering to go next, right?" said Wally as Kaldur gave his roommate a thankful nod.
The quarterback rolled his eyes, but nodded and fell silent a minute, clearly thinking of something to say. Finally, he looked back around at them.
"I've never kissed a dude," he said, at which literally everyone else clapped and put down a finger.
"'I've done that!" Megan exclaimed excitedly, waving her nine fingers in the air. "I did something!"
"Wait, you've kissed a boy?!" Artemis gasped. "When? Who?! Why didn't you tell me?!"
Megan looked confused.
"I mean, Conner and I – "
" – we know," Zatanna interrupted gently. "We all know. She's being sarcastic."
"Oh," said Megan, face coloring again.
"But not in a mean way," Artemis added quickly, sensing she might have hurt her roommate's feelings. "Congratulations on the finger."
Wally snorted.
"Man, I'm not even touching that one."
"Keep it up and I won't either," Artemis muttered to him, at which he flushed even deeper than Megan had.
"Arty? Megan?" Dick prompted, looking to the two of them who hadn't yet participated that round. "Got anything?"
"I...I have one," said Megan, cheeks still pink, clearly embarrassed about what she was about to say. "Never have I ever watched a p-...a porno."
Her voice practically squeaked on the last word. As everyone else in the room clapped, guilty as charged, Artemis thought frantically for something she hadn't done. Her brain kept helpfully supplying things she had done, like it always did in these situations. Well, there was always...
"Never have I ever had phone sex," she said honestly.
(There had always been the risk one or both of her parents would be listening in. Wiretapping ran in the family, it seemed.)
A single clap sounded. Artemis looked up, and was simultaneously extremely surprised and not surprised at all to see that it had been Kaldur again.
"If it was Roy, I don't want to know about it," said Artemis.
"You do not want to know about it."
"Good. Okay. Who's winning?" she asked, peering around the room. It seemed the first round had ended in a tie – both she and Kaldur were down to four fingers, and the rest were a few behind, except Megan, who still had all but the one.
"More cocoa, anyone?" Dick asked, refilling his own mug.
Wally slipped out of his chair to join his roommate at the table.
"Don't mind if I do."
And there went the rest of the marshmallows.
"Okay, I'll start us up again," said Zatanna, holding up her seven fingers when the boys had returned to their seats. "Never have I ever had a fake ID."
Dick and Kaldur promptly clapped and put down a finger.
"You two have fakes?" Wally asked both of them, face alight with indignation. "And you've been holding out on us this whole time?"
"Yes," Kaldur replied serenely.
"Yup," said Dick, shrugging.
"You bastards!"
"I do not ever recall you having trouble coming up with alcohol," Kaldur pointed out. "What exactly is the issue?"
"You – you keeping all these secrets from us is the issue!" Wally spluttered. "You can't just not tell us these things!"
"You did not ask."
"He has a point," said Zatanna. Wally looked no less offended at her words.
"I'll go," said Artemis. She was keen to jump in. It looked like she might not be first loser after all, not if she could nail Kaldur on something. He was down to just three fingers, while she was holding at four – time to press her advantage.
Thinking of something she hadn't done that Kaldur probably had, though...that was a challenge. She wouldn't stoop to a targeted one, either, though it was tempting, and the possibilities many (transferred colleges, voluntarily woken up before eight, slept with a douchey redhead...oh, shit, wait).
"Never have I ever...um..." she began, scrunching her nose in concentration. "Fuck. Someone else got one?"
"Sure," said Conner, sparing her. "Never have I ever done it in the back of a car."
One clap.
"Kaldur, no."
"God, don't tell me it was Roy's," said Artemis, face twisting in horror.
"I will not, then."
"Kaldur!" she exclaimed, mortified. "I've ridden in that car!"
The older boy just shrugged.
"As have I."
"Oh my god," Zatanna murmured. Megan buried her face in her hands, though it was unclear if she was embarrassed or just trying not to laugh.
"Quick, new topic," Wally interjected, shooting a look at Dick, who was practically cackling. "Never have I ever been skinny dipping. Kaldur, don't you dare cl – you've got to be shitting me!"
Kaldur leaned back across from the sofa and crossed his arms over his chest, still calm and cool-eyed as ever, though Artemis thought she could see the beginnings of a smirk on his face. He had just one finger left now, which he was tapping idly against his bicep.
"Let me guess," said Dick, as everyone else seemed too stunned to speak. "Roy's got codes for the pool on north campus."
"Indeed," said Kaldur.
And fuck, thought Artemis, if he didn't look so damn pleased with himself.
"I don't get this," Wally said, wriggling upright in his seat as his perplexed expression deepened. "You don't even drink! How is it whenever we do crazy things on the weekend, you're the one who stays sober and follows us around and talks us out of our stupid ideas and acts all upright and proper and stuff, when all this time you've actually been doing the weirdest shit out of everyone! How come you never do any of that with us, huh?"
"Are you suggesting you would like to have phone sex with me, Wally?"
"What? No! I just – "
"I understand the question," said Kaldur with a rare laugh, waving the runner off. "It is...a matter of well-being, I suppose. I worry about each of you when you – ah, as they say, 'party hard.' I worry about your safety."
"And you don't worry about Roy's?!"
"There is no point worrying about Roy's safety. He is too adept at sabotaging it."
"Okay, fair."
Zatanna set down her cocoa, still looking confused.
"Okay, I get that you might want to do all that but...we see you every weekend, and almost every weekday," she pointed out. "When do you even find the time?"
Kaldur shrugged.
"I do not have a Facebook."
There was a pause during which the others considered the validity of that explanation, then it was broken by the sound of the sliding glass door and a whoosh of cold air (literal and otherwise) – Roy was back. As one, the room turned to stare at him with varying expressions, though most were somewhere on the aghast spectrum.
"What'd I do this time?" he asked, sniffling and tossing his cigarette pack onto his duffel.
There was a pointed silence.
"You corrupted Kaldur," Artemis told him finally, voicing what everyone was thinking.
"Probably," said Roy, while Kaldur scoffed.
"You give him too much credit," he told Artemis, rising from his spot on the couch. "I do not believe I was ever as square as you all supposed."
As the others shared a look, he crossed the room to stand before Roy, whose teeth were chattering.
"Your lips are blue," he said, frowning in disapproval. "I certainly hope your cancer sticks were worth it."
"See, you do worry," Artemis accused.
"Hold up," said Dick. "This game isn't over yet. No one's out."
"I will go back outside," said Roy, glaring.
"Is that supposed to be a threat?" asked Conner.
"Don't be mean," Megan scolded, swatting his shoulder, to which he responded by kissing the top of her head playfully.
"Ugh, let's just get it over with," said Artemis. "Someone go."
"You haven't gone this round," Dick pointed out.
"Neither have you."
"Yeah but I'm in no hurry to be done with this game, and I think you are."
"Okay fine," she groaned. "Never have I ever had a threesome. Happy?"
Two claps, both from the corner.
"Jesus Christ."
"Not again."
"I really don't want to – "
" – me, him, my ex Donna," Roy smirked proudly, interrupting Conner. "First night of dead week."
"Oh, I so needed to know that," said Artemis, grimacing.
(Okay, so the grimacing was mostly external – come to think of it, those were three exceedingly fine people.
...maybe she needed to go outside in the cold for a bit.)
"It was great, by the way," said Roy helpfully as Kaldur steered him down to the couch, wrapped him in a blanket, and placed a fresh mug of coffee in his hands. "Just in case you were wondering."
"We really weren't," Wally assured him.
(Artemis kind of was.)
"Well," said Kaldur, perching himself on the arm of the couch and spreading his hands to the room. "I believe this means that is game over, my friends."
"You lose," said Dick cheerfully.
"Win," Roy corrected.
"Whichever."
"Well," laughed Zatanna, stretching slightly and fanning herself. "I don't know about you, but I could do with that shower now."
"I doubt we have time," said Dick, checking his watch. "Alfred will probably be down any minute to call us for dinner."
"A half an hour," Wally mused. "All it took was a half an hour to destroy my faith in humanity."
"I am flattered and surprised that your faith in humanity rested with me," remarked Kaldur.
"Mine does," said Roy quietly – so quietly, only Dick and Artemis seem to have noticed at all.
"In any case, we should probably tidy this place up a little before we go to dinner," Dick suggested. "Can't let Alfred do everything."
"Isn't that what you usually do?" Artemis asked suspiciously.
"Alfred can't do everything, Kaldur's already done it," Wally pointed out, earning a few laughs from the group.
Kaldur just smiled quietly, rising and bending to help Dick collect the mugs from the floor.
"I see what you're doing with them eyes, Harper," Artemis told Roy, narrowing her own at him accusingly. "Watch yourself."
"I'd rather watch him," said Roy with a smirk.
"I feel like I learned more about you guys today than I ever wanted to know," said Zee, making a face and folding her blanket up.
"Who suggested this game again?" Roy shot back. "Because it sure as hell wasn't me."
"Pretty sure that was Dick," said Wally, shooting his roommate a suspicious glare.
Dick just grinned yet again.
"Did you not have fun? I definitely had fun. Knowledge is power."
"Knowledge is distressing," Megan opined.
"Distress builds character," said a new voice – Alfred, poised in the entryway. "And dinner is ready."
"Awesome," said Dick, setting the last mug down on the tray. "Thanks, Alfred. We'll all come in just a second."
Alfred sighed.
"What did I say about the details, Master Grayson?"
And, like Wally's faith in humanity, he was gone.
Half past midnight – empty wine bottles in the empty common room, fireplace flames down to their last embers, sounds of padding feet down the carpet as the gang retired a few at a time.
Kaldur, skin still damp from his shower, let himself out of the bathroom and made his way for the far end of the hallway. Muffled sounds of talking from the doors he passed told him his friends were for the most part settled in for the night – Wally and Artemis again together, he noted, with no intention of ever sharing that observation (even with them).
Not to his surprise, Roy was waiting just around the corner at the end of the hallway, leaned against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. It was a casual pose, but Kaldur was not fooled – the other boy had probably been standing there for a good ten or fifteen minutes.
"Hey," said Roy.
"Good evening."
Kaldur paused, knowing exactly how this next interaction would play out, but in no hurry to get to its end. They had time.
"So," said Roy, attempting nonchalance and failing. "You uh...going to bed soon?"
Kaldur shrugged.
"I was certainly considering it."
"Yeah, I figured," said Roy, straightening out and rubbing the back of his neck. "Taking your own room tonight, or...?"
"Are you inviting me to share your bed again, my friend?" Kaldur asked as Roy trailed off.
"That was what I was getting at, yeah."
Kaldur tilted his head slightly, pausing just to enjoy the tiny signs of Roy's well-hidden anxiousness – the subtle flexing of his fingers, the way he rocked just barely on his heels as he waited for a reply.
"It seems a shame to make Alfred wash more sheets than he has to," he said at last with a faint smile. "I would be glad to join you."
With an almost imperceptible sag of his shoulders, Roy turned and pulled open the door, revealing the guest room in which they'd spent the previous night ringing in the new year. It was nicer than any dormitory, thickly carpeted and immaculately kept (not that Kaldur had even once complained about Roy's cramped, contraband-littered RA room – but this was certainly not an unwelcome change of scenery).
Crossing over to the bed, Roy promptly tossed himself across it and flopped down on the far end, where he rolled onto his side and looked over to Kaldur expectantly.
"You know you basically signed my death sentence with that game, right?" he asked as Kaldur killed the light and moved through the darkness towards him.
"How so?" asked Kaldur, climbing into the bed and lowering himself onto his back.
"I don't know what you told them," said Roy, "but the only other time I've walked into a room and gotten that look from that many people, I'd put laxatives in the Trustees' soup course."
Kaldur chuckled, pretending not to notice when there was suddenly an arm slipping under his neck, wrapping loosely around his shoulders.
"I did not tell them anything untrue," he said as he found himself pulled close. (Roy always got friendlier once the lights were off, like whatever happened in the darkness couldn't be counted against his hardass reputation.) Now, the RA laughed nervously.
"Yeah, that's what scares me."
Smiling into the dark, Kaldur turned his face into the fabric of Roy's shirt and closed his eyes. For a long while, neither one spoke, until finally, Roy snorted and broke the silence.
"Yes?" Kaldur prompted, opening his eyes.
"I bet they think we're doing all kinds of kinky shit right now," replied Roy, laughing.
"Mmm," Kaldur agreed, shifting a little so that he could bring one arm up and rest it across Roy's chest. "Possibly. But I doubt they give us as much thought as you think."
"I don't know," said Roy. "They're a pretty nosy bunch, seems to me."
"They mean well," said Kaldur, and Roy couldn't disagree, so he fell silent for a little bit. Finally he shifted, bringing up the arm that wasn't around Kaldur's shoulders to toy with the hem of the sophomore's pajama shirt.
"How cold are you?" he asked, eying him.
"You may remove it," Kaldur replied, lifting his arms obligingly.
Roy wasted no time in tugging the shirt up and over Kaldur's head and tossing it over the side of the bed.
"I don't know if I love or hate that you always know what I'm actually asking," he remarked as pulled off his own – onto the floor it went, too.
"If you continue to be so obvious in your attempts at coyness, I am sure you will figure out your feelings quite quickly," Kaldur remarked as he rolled onto his side, resting one hand on the jut of Roy's hipbone and propping his head up on the other.
Roy scoffed indignantly.
"Excuse me if I don't just knock on doors and ask people straight up if they want to fuck."
Kaldur just smiled.
"In my experience, it works quite well."
"God," Roy groaned, rolling his eyes even as he slid a hand up Kaldur's bare chest to cup his neck. "Am I going to have to gag you tonight just to escape the smart-mouthing?"
Kaldur didn't reply right away, knowing that Roy was about to kiss him , which he did – their mouths met in the darkness, and within a moment they'd found the right angle, the right pace. After a little while, Kaldur pulled back, enjoying the way Roy's teeth lingered gently on his bottom lip when he did.
"We will have to add it to the list," he said, smirking.
Suddenly, Roy's hand was on the underside of his thigh, sliding slowly but firmly up towards his boxers; Kaldur shifted automatically into the touch, back arching slightly as Roy's voice sounded gruffly in his ear:
"Don't tempt me."
Kaldur laughed softly, swinging himself up to straddle the other boy's hips. He smirked down at him.
"I would never."