Robin entered the vaulted darkness of the Batcave, and scanned for his mentor. Nothing. The Batmobile was still in place, as were the Batcycle, Batboat, and Batwing, the weapons vault, lab, and gym were empty, and the the main Batcomputer console was...Wait. There was someone there after all.
"Alfred?"
"Yes, Master Timothy?" The dignified man turned to the young vigilante. In his hands, Robin noticed, were a three-VHS cassette boxed set, and a DVD. He couldn't quite make out the labels at that distance, though.
"Where's Bruce? Isn't it time to head out?"
Alfred shook his head, sorrowfully. "I am afraid, Master Timothy, that Master Bruce will not be going on patrol tonight, or indeed on any night for some time."
"What do you mean? Is he sick or something?"
"No, Master Timothy, physically he is as well as ever. However...I suppose I am the one to blame for this."
"For what?" Robin was bewildered, and no one around him seemed to be talking sense. He hadn't seen Batman in a week, which was a little odd, Dick, when he last talked to him, had told some wild, unbelievable story about Batman and Monty Python. Batgirl kept staring at him, which was starting to really creep him out, and now Alfred was babbling. "What happened, Alfred?"
The elderly gentleman pulled himself out of his introspection. "It all started one week ago, when I unwittingly exposed Master Bruce to Monty Python's Flying Circus-"
"You mean Dick was telling the truth about that?" Robin burst in. "I couldn't believe it."
"Indeed, Master Timothy, it is quite true."
"So, where's Bruce?"
Alfred frowned, and sighed. "I fear that, having watched a motion picture for pleasure in what has been, to the best of my knowledge, the first time in twenty-five years, Master Bruce was eager to see more."
"Go on!" Robin was getting impatient.
"Well, I fear that I, I gave him these to watch." Alfred shamefacedly held forth the videos and the DVD. Robin read the titles, and let out a long low whistle.
"Does this mean what I think it does?"
"Indeed. Having watched the Star Wars films back-to-back some thirty times over the last week, Master Bruce declared that he would stand in line for the next film now, and remain in line until he had seen it."
Robin winced. "But, Alfred, Attack of the Clones doesn't open until May."
"Indeed sir. I said as much to Master Bruce, but he insisted that his time in line could be well spent with reading the various novels and comic books. He's even, much to my astonishment, begun playing the Star Wars Role-Playing Game. I fear, Master Timothy, that Gotham must do without Batman for a time."
Robin put his head in his hands and moaned. "He's gone crazy! Isn't there anything we can do? What about the Justice League?"
Alfred shook his head sorrowfully. "I have already sought aid from the Justice League of America."
"And?"
"Superman, the Flash, and the Green Lantern are now in line with him."
"What?!!??!"
"I would never have believed Superman capable of making such a detailed suit of Stormtrooper armor. And Green Lantern looks quite impressive in his Boba Fett armor. I believe they are playing Star Wars Trivial Pursuit even as we speak."
Robin could do nothing else, so he buried his face in his arms and sobbed.
"Alfred?"
"Yes, Master Timothy?" The dignified man turned to the young vigilante. In his hands, Robin noticed, were a three-VHS cassette boxed set, and a DVD. He couldn't quite make out the labels at that distance, though.
"Where's Bruce? Isn't it time to head out?"
Alfred shook his head, sorrowfully. "I am afraid, Master Timothy, that Master Bruce will not be going on patrol tonight, or indeed on any night for some time."
"What do you mean? Is he sick or something?"
"No, Master Timothy, physically he is as well as ever. However...I suppose I am the one to blame for this."
"For what?" Robin was bewildered, and no one around him seemed to be talking sense. He hadn't seen Batman in a week, which was a little odd, Dick, when he last talked to him, had told some wild, unbelievable story about Batman and Monty Python. Batgirl kept staring at him, which was starting to really creep him out, and now Alfred was babbling. "What happened, Alfred?"
The elderly gentleman pulled himself out of his introspection. "It all started one week ago, when I unwittingly exposed Master Bruce to Monty Python's Flying Circus-"
"You mean Dick was telling the truth about that?" Robin burst in. "I couldn't believe it."
"Indeed, Master Timothy, it is quite true."
"So, where's Bruce?"
Alfred frowned, and sighed. "I fear that, having watched a motion picture for pleasure in what has been, to the best of my knowledge, the first time in twenty-five years, Master Bruce was eager to see more."
"Go on!" Robin was getting impatient.
"Well, I fear that I, I gave him these to watch." Alfred shamefacedly held forth the videos and the DVD. Robin read the titles, and let out a long low whistle.
"Does this mean what I think it does?"
"Indeed. Having watched the Star Wars films back-to-back some thirty times over the last week, Master Bruce declared that he would stand in line for the next film now, and remain in line until he had seen it."
Robin winced. "But, Alfred, Attack of the Clones doesn't open until May."
"Indeed sir. I said as much to Master Bruce, but he insisted that his time in line could be well spent with reading the various novels and comic books. He's even, much to my astonishment, begun playing the Star Wars Role-Playing Game. I fear, Master Timothy, that Gotham must do without Batman for a time."
Robin put his head in his hands and moaned. "He's gone crazy! Isn't there anything we can do? What about the Justice League?"
Alfred shook his head sorrowfully. "I have already sought aid from the Justice League of America."
"And?"
"Superman, the Flash, and the Green Lantern are now in line with him."
"What?!!??!"
"I would never have believed Superman capable of making such a detailed suit of Stormtrooper armor. And Green Lantern looks quite impressive in his Boba Fett armor. I believe they are playing Star Wars Trivial Pursuit even as we speak."
Robin could do nothing else, so he buried his face in his arms and sobbed.