A/N: Total crack based on a couple shots from the new trailer for Age of Ultron.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Avengers.
Crazy Good
"Who is responsible for this travesty?" Thor boomed, storming into the living room with his cape swirling dramatically behind him. He was cradling a small box in his elbow.
Tony's eyebrows flew up. "Thor, buddy, we've got more important things going on right now…"
"Was it you, Man of Iron? Did your insatiable thirst for the mead of this planet heighten your need for accompanying sweets?"
"Now is not the time," Natasha hissed as Tony tried to figure out if he'd just been called an alcoholic.
He glanced over at Bruce for help, and saw something flicker across his friend's face.
"Tony—"
Tony barely had time to turn around before Thor's massive hand wrapped around his neck and lifted him into the air. He clung to the Asgardian's arm as he was propelled backward and pushed none too gently against the window.
"I will not be distracted!" Thor shook the empty carton. "What did you do with my Pop-Tarts?"
:
Later...
Tony steadied himself in midair and briefly scanned the surrounding cityscape for his teammates. He could hear the Captain relaying orders over the comm:
"He's fallen back. Regroup at the tower. Stark, do you see the Hulk anywhere?"
Tony didn't, but he did see a plume of smoke rising from the remains of a building directly ahead that had been in the Other Guy's way moments before.
Then—
"Yeah, Hulk sighted. I'll go tame the beast." Ignoring Steve's protests at his going alone, Tony flew down to where the Hulk was crouched inside a demolished factory., pawing at something in the rubble. "Hey, big guy, time to go home."
Hulk ignored him, continuing to dig. Then his face lit up and he began to pull boxes out of the ash, ripping them open and dumping the contents into his mouth. Inside the helmet, Tony's jaw dropped.
"You've gotta be kidding me!" He swooped in and daringly snitched one of the packages. "It was you! You ate Thor's Pop-Tarts!"
The Hulk climbed to its feet, growling.
"Give back."
"Oh, no. That's enough sugar for you." Tony zoomed out of reach as Hulk roared and leapt for him. In his escape, he dropped the box. "Son of a—"
"Hulk MAD!"
Tony fired his repulsors and swung around to face his teammate.
"Okay, if that's how it's gonna be…"
They charged at each other, but at the last minute Tony arced upward, far out of range.
"What's so special about Pop-Tarts, anyway?" he wondered aloud.
Hulk pouted. "Hulk hangry."