Title: Grey Waters
Author: Azurana K.
One-Shot
Summary: Don't be the ones to leave me behind when you were the people who dragged me into this…
Disclaimer: I don't own GA…
Author's Note: Sorry, if you find this story as a piece of unwanted crap.
It was a normal day. The sun was shinning; the wind was softly blowing; and the birds were melodically chirping…
… I might even say that it was quite the cliché…
But even still, the weather wasn't supposedly like this… It should've at least been a bit gray… Not bright... and sunny… Not… Not like this…
It's unfair… A bit of dullness would've been great, but there was none.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
It should never have been like this.
The three of us should've been fine.
We should've been spending our breaks in Central.
Not separated…
Not brooding…
I have no idea, why it had to be like this.
It was as I said, a normal day…
We didn't have any new plans… Other than our usual…
I wasn't even prepared with what had happened… I had known for a fact that our 'trio' relationship was quite shaky… But I didn't expect for it to actually fall apart.
We were just having our fun…
I had told you that I had my doubts… Because ever since I found out from you that she was backstabbing some people… I didn't know who to believe anymore...
Heck, I've already doubted my own self too much, I couldn't even count…
I didn't know who was right or wrong…
I've asked myself if this just was a misunderstanding… If what, she was said to have done was made unconsciously… What if she did it to cover something up? What if she'd done it because she didn't know she was hurting someone else?
I… couldn't think clearly…
My head was full of "What if?" – s, I didn't know who to trust anymore.
Every move and every step I took was full of doubt, that it was too much…
When I told you about this, you were naïve enough to ask me if I trusted you…
Of course I wanted too… But would you think that I could?
Could I trust you, if you yourself didn't know what you have done to me?
Could I trust anyone, if all they do is hurt me?
Could I?
No. No… I couldn't…
My mind wanted me to trust, but my heart told me not to…
I'm tired of always believing, but in the end I always end up being lied to or betrayed…
-
The day continued… And I was getting worried; you seemed so cold and distant…
You kept calling me cruel, until it was stuck unto my head…
I only have one heart and when you hurt it, I won't be able to take it… No matter how harsh and strong I appear on the outside… Remember, it is harder to mend a broken heart than an injury.
-
Classes had already ended and we were already in Central.
That is where it all happened…
We were having a great time, we were so happy… At least, most of us were, but it didn't hurt to pretend right?
The two of you fought… because of something or another… But I recall it being about the food. I knew, even before then, that you held a huge amount of animosity towards her… But I didn't expect you to get that angry…
I pretended that I didn't know, because the pretense of being as dense as a concrete block is one of my specialties… But the both of you didn't know that, now do you?
I was so pissed yet didn't dare express it… But I changed my mind, when I heard you say a goodbye to her, using an obviously fake, sweet (bitchy) voice…
I was mad… I was so mad, I shouted at you… No matter how much wrong a person has done to you, you had no right to act like that towards her…
Do you know what I saw? Do you know what I thought about you?
I thought that you were a spoiled brat… A conceited brat… An extremely selfish, self centered person…
…Why?
Because you didn't even consider the feelings you might've made her feel…
I bet you didn't also consider that you, yourself have done so much wrongs…
You didn't even act the least bit civil, towards her… It was like you dumped a pail full of ice cold water on her.
It hurt me so much to know that you aren't even trying to protect what we have molded…
You didn't even protect the bond I thought the three of us had shared…
It hurt me so much to know that you were careless enough to not remember how happy we used to be…
But I remembered, how could you remember when you yourself had also forgotten me? Like every one else… Like her and all of our other friends…
Do you know how much it hurts to be forgotten unconsciously by the people you gave your all to?
Do you know how much I've tried to cover it all up, so everyone wouldn't have to worry?
No you don't and so does she… The both of you don't… You have loads of friends… You've got many who you can talk to…
Can you imagine how much I've tried not to cry, can you imagine how many times my heart clenched because of the pain?
You can't…
So please… Please, stop this selfish streak of grief…
Just try to put it aside…
So we can start over…
Can't we start again?
I can't take the pain of being lonely forever anymore…
You, guys, brought me to this world… to this world of friendship.
And it hurt me like nothing else, when we started to drift.
Don't take back our memories and bonds; you were the ones to force them unto me…
Don't snatch away the happiness you willingly spent with me…
Don't let me go back into the dark hole I used to live in.
Because if you are going to do, just that…
I had better leave than go back to the miseries and loneliness you took away from me.
I don't give a damn if you're just going to fake it… I don't care if you're just going to stab me in the back… I'd rather have, even just, the faintest feel of happiness and completeness than have none at all…
With that, I leave with a tear, full of hope and despair…
Author's Note: I'll leave you to guess which characters the 'narrator', the 'you' and the 'she' are.
This is for two people, but it's technically just for one since the other won't be able to read this.
To said person, do you understand? Do you understand why?
To my readers, I'm so sorry for not being able to update my other fics so soon… You've read my note in my profile, right?
So sorry also, if my fic is too general, brief and weird… But you hopefully understood the contents right? (Even though, I know that it sucks…)
Gosh, my heart was clenching, and it still is now, while I was writing this fic… Try reading it with songs from Linkin Park… Ouch… especially with their "In Pieces"… Damn the torment…
Anyway, sorry again…
Ja ne,
-A.K.