Bitter Sweet
Part 1
Have you ever known the beauty of another
person's skin under your fingertips? The sensation of holding you
loved one in your arms? I haven't. For me, that seems an
unreachable thought. An illusion. Such pain… why does she have to
get what I cannot? And why does what she get have to be what I want?
Though I shouldn't, I hate her for it. She has to pay for my
misery. Sounds petty, yes. But something has to be done. I am a man
of action. I cannot sit in silence, watching, waiting for my deepest
wish and darkest desire to come true. There are no genies or fairies
to grant your wishes. If you truly want something, you have to make
it come true yourself. Hence, this is what I must do. Besides, with
her gone, I can, perhaps, slowly move in on my utmost desire. I do
not know. But still, perhaps.
I can imagine it, let my fingertips
just touch it. Just barely, but still… what seemed like an illusion
may come to life under my touch. No more playing around. The plan
forms inside my head. Dark. Twisted. Indeed, but much to my liking.
Pain. Misery. As it is supposed to be. I f I have had to feel it this
long, why not someone else for at least a while? I have to be my own
wishmaster. None who owns common sense would wait for fate in silent
agony. What is the logic in waiting for things to happen while in
pain, when you can make the pain go away by granting your own wishes?
I can tell you, it's easy, really… there is none. The illusory
belief in fate is based on the childishness of the mind.
There is
no such thing as luck; it's all a matter of fear. Fear and hope.
Young, naive hope. Stand by the side and watch others make their
moves, fear to make your own… while hoping that you imaginary luck
is on your side. Coincidence is the fool's luck, the sweet,
wish-granting fairy of the vagabond. The key to controlling your, so
called, fate is getting on the field and start making moves. The
right moves.
Rest uneasy, my beloved, for I am coming for you…