Disclaimer: same old, same old. I own no recognizable characters. For entertainment purposes only, mainly my own because I'm strung out on leftover candy. Why do people think the perfect gift is chocolate? I mean, come on, three and a half pounds? Is there a secret contest to see how long I can hold out?!
*steps away from tirade*
Thank you.
Enjoy!
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Chocolate Like You Wouldn't Believe
By Hoodoo
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Christmas, as always, brought a fresh supply of Chocolate Frogs. The surprise of a leaping piece of candy had worn away after the first dozen or so times; Harry now concentrated on collecting the cards. Since he had started so late, compared to others, he still eagerly looked forward to building his collection.
Another wrapping tore, and another Frog made an enthusiastic vault to wherever a confection might think was safety. Harry had discovered that they could be crushed quite easily, as long as it wasn't on a bed spread. It was satisfying, sometimes when frustrated, to smash a few Frogs while believing they wore certain Professor's faces.
Satisfying, if somewhat disturbing.
This Frog he caught absentmindedly in mid-leap and forced it into a bag with the rest of the feebly kicking candy. The card held more of his attention.
"Hey Ron," Harry called. "Look at this one."
Ron, in a rare moment of studying, looked annoyed. "I've got so many of those cards, I've probably seen all of them."
Harry gave him a dirty look. "I'm serious. I thought these cards were of famous wizards and witches. Not made up ones."
"Huh?"
The red-head dropped his book and plopped down on Harry's bed. He took the card and scanned it.
Harry watched his friend's expression change from bothered to incredulous. "Harry," he said, excitement choking him, "do you know what this is?"
"Yeah, a card from a Chocolate Frog," replied Harry sarcastically. "With a fake guy on it. Come on, is this some kind of joke?"
"No! This is one of the rarest cards of all! I've heard they only made a few hundred of them, and then a bunch of people got upset, so they recalled them. But some Frogs had already been distributed, so they couldn't track many of them down!"
A wild look came to Weasley's eye. "Harry!" he whispered. "This card is worth a lot of money! There are collector's who'd pay big bucks for this card! There are other people who'd pay big bucks to destroy it! Neville was saying something about something in his Muggle Studies class . . . an "internet" thing . . . eBay, I think? Where people spend lots of money to buy all sorts of crap—"
Harry snatched the card from Ron, who barely noticed, lost in his delusion of selling for millions. He stared at the photo on it. He squinted his eyes, but the image didn't change.
A short man, in a plum tailcoat. With green pants. Pearly grey gloves. Wearing a black tophat! He held a gold-tipped walking cane. His beard was trimmed to a neat goatee. As in most wizard photographs, there was movement. His head cocked back and forth, quick, squirrel-like. And his eyes! They twinkled and lit his face with fun and laughter.
The man winked at Harry.
"Ron!" Harry exclaimed, snapping his friend from his daydream. He shook the card at Ron angrily. "This is a fake. A fake!"
"A fake?!"
"You told me the cards had famous people on them. Not made up people!"
Ron carefully looked the card over again.
Harry continued. "Ron, this can't be real. Willy Wonka isn't a real person. Roald Dahl imagined him and wrote him up. I had to read the book in Muggle school."
Another expression came over Ron's face, one that Harry recognized immediately. It crossed his wizarding friends faces a lot of times—it was the look that Harry, being ignorant, didn't quite comprehend the most basic things.
"Harry," Ron said slowly, as if to a small child, "of course Willy Wonka is real. Who do you think invented Chocolate Frogs? And sugar quills? And half the other candy we get at Honeydukes?"
Harry's jaw dropped. "But-but, I read the book! The movie—Gene Wilder—"
"That was the controversy. Willy Wonka was a genius. But he got a big head, and decided he wanted to sell his magical candy to Muggles. Most everybody didn't want him to; our cover would be blown. Somehow Roald Dahl heard about Wonka—probably got some of the candy Wonka sold before the Ministry shut him down—and he wrote the stories."
"What happened to Willy Wonka?" Harry asked.
Ron shrugged. "The Ministry blacklisted him. That's why most folks don't think he should have a card. After that he kind of disappeared."
"If he invented all this great candy then got the shove-off, how come we can still buy this stuff?"
"You said you read the book! I already told you he was a genius. He sold the company just before the Ministry stepped in. So all the candy can still be made, but without his name on it."
"Hmm," Harry replied, digesting this information. He tilted the card back and forth. Willy Wonka struggled to keep his balance.
"You know, Ron," he said suddenly, brightly, "I bet we could get a good price for this on eBay. We just have to set up an anonymous account, and get some information from . I bet Neville would help us, for a cut of the cash . . . what do you say?"
Ron grinned.
FIN.
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ah, capitalism.