"Sakura's mom Nadeshiko was in a choir together with my mom when they both were young, and it started a friendship that lasted all Nadeshiko's life. My mom Yuuko and her siblings were always together with Nadeshiko, so when Sakura and I grew up we practically lived together."

She paused and looked down at her darkblue skirt.

"Sakura was of course different back then. Athletic, but clumsy. Cheerful, but considerate. All in all..." Tomoyo clenched her fingers. "She was the perfect girl. The perfect friend. Everyday of being together with her was sunny. Like she was the sun.

But... Where there's a sun, there's also clouds."

She looked over at me, as to assure that I was still listening.

"For you to understand this, I have to tell you about my family. My mom has a sister and a brother. Her sister is one of the most incredible persons ever to have existed. Her singingvoice is beautiful, and even though she has three daughters, she always finds time and love for others as well. Her brother though, was the exact opposite of his sisters. He didn't really like people, he always spent more time on antics and archeological wonders. He was never really together with the rest of the family."

"Was?"

"That little 'was' is the reason for Sakura's behaviour today. Fei Wong, my mom's brother, had two sons. The older one, Yukito, was about three years older than us, and nothing like his father. Yukito was kind, clever and always helpful."

She paused and looked down at her fingers again.

"Actually it's no wonder that Sakura fell in love with him.

But it's a wonder how jealous I got."

"You were in love with him?"

"No. I wasn't in love with him."

The way she said him made me understand.

"So I did what I thought was the best. I stopped texting Sakura, I stopped inviting her over. Every time she suggested a day we could be together, I made sure that she ended up spending it with Yukito instead. It hurted just seeing her, knowing her thoughts. But then... Then something happened. Something where I should have been there to support her." She inhaled deeply.

"Sakura decided, being the dear, naive little girl she was, to tell Yukito that she loved him. She called to tell me and ask me to go with her, but I didn't pick up. I just sat in my chair and listened to her message on the answering-machine. So she went alone."

Tears came up in her eyes. She clenched her fists and hammered her right hand down in the bed.

"I SHOULD have picked up. I SHOULD have gone with her and waited outside. I should..."

She bit her lip.

"We... We actually don't really know what happened. The next day my mom and I went over to Fei's house to invite them to the next familydinner. The door was unlocked, even though it was early in the morning. It was weird, because Fei always activated his alarmsystem at night. We went inside and called, but no one answered. Yukito's room was empty, and so was Eriol's. We thought that they may be down in the basement with all Fei's archeological things and... And they were. Sakura was sitting up against the wall in..." Tomoyo gasped, and tears ran down her pale face.

"In the other end of the room. She just sat there. Yukito and Fei and Eriol... Their bodies were spread throughout the room, like they had been standing at Sakura and then been blown away from her. Of course we called an ambulance, but they were already dead. Officially they died from heartattacks. The Daidoujifamily has a lot of friends in a lot of places, including hospitals and the police."

She looked at me.

"They had scars. Scars all over the body. They were long and thin, like a bird had cut them with its wings. My mom called one of her friends from the police, and some from her private guard, and they cleaned the whole thing up. Sakura was brought to our family's private clinic."

"Private clinic?"

"My dad's clinic. It 'specializes in familymembers' health'. He started it when Nadeshiko got sick, about a year before the incident with Fei Wong. But just as there was nothing he could do for Nadeshiko, Sakura didn't get well. She didn't eat much, she could go for days on just a bit of cucumber. She couldn't speak and she couldn't laugh or smile and cry."

Tomoy looked out the window.

"She's better now. She eats almost every day. That's why I always eat lunch with her. I make her lunch and tries to make sure she eats it. But... She can't talk... And her sleep is still bad."

"Her sleep?"

Tomoyo nodded.

"It sounds weird, I know. But after the incident, Sakura couldn't sleep. In the start we didn't worry about it, but after three days we started to give her herbaltea and pills to make her sleep. I wish we hadn't done it. It did make her fall asleep, but... Seeing her sleep was horrifying. As soon as she closed her eyes she started screaming, screaming her lungs out and scratching the air and gasp as if she were drowning."

Tomoyo looked down at her bed.

"Sakura lives in the little house next to ours, but she often spends the night at Oruha, or here. Especially in stormy weather. We have to... To tie her sometimes, if the weather is really bad. But most of the time I just embrace her and try to keep her still that way. She needs people to hold her, but she can't handle being together with many strangers at the time. And she can't handle men."

Tomoyo looked me in the eyes.

"You saw how terrified she was when you spoke to her today. Every time she gets near a male she starts remembering that horrible incident... or whatever it was. That's why it will be hard for you to keep loving her. Are you ready for it, Shaoran? Are you ready to see fear in her eyes every time you approach her? Are you ready to her her screaming of pain in the night? Are you ready to see her faint because she forgot to eat? Are you ready to always be near her, ready to shield her against any harm? Are you ready to do all that, knowing that she might never be able to thank you or love you?"

When I got up from the chair, I didn't know what to answer.

But when I kneeled in front of Tomoyo, the words easily came from my mouth.

"If she fears my face, I'll wear a mask.

If she screams of pain, I'll be her anesthesia.

If she faints, I'll catch her.

And if a bullet comes or anything or anyone even thinks of harming her,

I'll be her shield, armour and sword.

Even if she'll never know what I'm doing."

Tomoyo looked down at me, smiling softly.

"I think you're the right one, Shaoran.

I don't know how to explain it, but I get the feeling that if we were living in

another place, in another time, Sakura would be a princess."

She put her hand on my shoulder.

"And I think you'd be her knight."