Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine.

Was forced into ffing this by Dao Lian. Blame her.

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'Hey, Horo,'

Horo looked up from what was a breakfast in only the loosest sense of the term. Yoh was dragging something white out of his pocket. After a minute of untangling it turned out to be three white objects; Yoh was holding across one hand three slightly different white ribbons.

'Which one do you think Anna would like most?'

Horo looked at them all, but couldn't see much difference. One was slightly wider than the others, and another looked slightly more cream than white.

'Why? Wha-,' Horo stopped himself from asking what Anna would want with a white ribbon. He didn't want to know.

'It's St. White's day,' Yoh interrupted before Horo had to cover up his almost-question. 'Guys have to get their girlfriends presents,'

'Oh. Erm... That one,' Horo poked one at random and grabbed his schoolbag. Oh dear. Why hadn't someone told him about this sooner? He glanced at the clock on his way out of the door. Too late to go to the shops before school.

Damn.

Horo was late (as usual) and had to run the last hundred metres as the bell went when he was halfway down the street. First lesson was maths, without Ren. Horo didn't have a lesson with him until after lunch, and for the first time ever was glad about it. Horo briefly considered buying Ren one of the maths kits that their teacher was always bugging them to get, before dismissing the idea on the grounds that he valued his remaining limbs. He could steal some flowers from the school garden... No. That... wouldn't work. Maybe he could make Ren a really nice card.

But all the materials he had was the paper in his excericise book and a pencil. His drawing skills also had room for improvement.

None of the lessons he had that morning offered any inspiration. As the bell rang for lunch, he hid in the library. He knew he didn't have long before Ren wondered where he was, and came looking. Maybe he should just go straight to an easy-to-hose-blood-off-the-floor-of area to make it easier for the caretaker. Horo stared into nothing, trying to think of an idea. Something white. That's all he needed, right? A white ribbon. It didn't even need to be a ribbon, just something white. Where had he seen anything white recently? Horo suddenly had an idea. He didn't like it very much, but it was preferable to spending the rest of his life eating through a straw. He rummaged around in his pencilcase and found what he was looking for. A pair of scissors.

Horo pulled the blade of the scissors across his palm. It left a tiny mark there, but not deep enough. He pressed the scissors down harder, but before he could pull them across they clattered down on the table. The librarian sent him a 'shut up' glare. Horo sent her an apologetic look, picked up the scissors and pressed them down, more resolutely. This was ridiculous. He just needed a little cut. He'd had much worse injuries in shaman fights. What was wrong with him? He jabbed the scissors down and pulled across before he lost his nerve, and was relieved to see blood finally well up and trickle onto his wrist. Now all the had to do was go and see the nurse. He stood up, and began to walk out of the library, hand carefully concealed in a pocket wrapped in a tissue. He turned back to pick up the scissors. They were covered in drops of red. Was... was that his blood? Horo picked them up and took a few steps forward, but everything seemed strangely blurred. He pulled his hand out of his pocket, staring at the bright red stain on the tissue. It looked wrong... He felt dizzyyyyy...

The first thing Horo noticed was someone swearing. He thought it was swearing, anyway. he didn't understand the language. With growing horror he realised it was a voice he recognised. he squeezed his eyes shut. This didn't seem to fool the other person, though, as they turned on him instead, whacking him around the head. Horo tried not to groan. It hurt more than it should have done.

'Wha... Where...' Horo scanned his database of Stunningly Unoriginal First Lines and found a winner. 'Where am I?'

'The nurse's office,' Ren growled. Horo didn't want to open his eyes. Ren sounded really, really mad.

'How- how did I get here?' Horo asked, risking opening one eye a crack. He was relieved. He was only getting a Level 1 Death Glare. It wouldn't fry his retinas to look too long. He opened his eyes all the way, and tried to sit up. He gave up on this plan after whatever vexed hedgehog that had squeezed its way into his head jammed its spines into the soft tissue of his brain and refused to move them. He moaned. Ren, who was on a roll, didn't notice. Instead, he paced angrily in front of Horo's bed.

'Good question. One I'd love to know the answer to myself. How do you think it feels to have someone run into the canteen and shout 'Ren, your boyfriend's dead!'?'

'Oh...' Horo tried to sit up again, more slowly. The irritable hedgehog grumbled, but didn't attack his brain again. 'I was... er...' He couldn't tell Ren his plan. It was too stupid.

'You were what?' Ren cranked his glare up a notch to Death Glare Level 2, but Horo survived this by avoiding looking him in the eye. When it became obvious he wasn't going to answer, Ren continued, his voice rising.

'What were you doing? Planning world domination? Watching porn? Having a sex change operation?'

'No, no, no,' Horo mumbled. Ren's screaming was annoying the hedgehog, and it was eyeing up his brain stem.

'What was it then?'

'I.. er... wasgoingtocutmyselfabitsoIcouldstealabandagefromthenursesofficeandgiveittoyouforastwhite'sdaypresent,'

'You were... Right. This settles it. I am officially dating the most stupid, idiotic, thoughtless people ever,' Ren's eye was twitching.

'Wasn't thoughtless... I did it for you...' Horo stared at his lap. Why was it moving?

'Oh really? Sometimes I wonder if there's a single thought in there at all,' Ren whacked Horo on the side of the head. Not hard, but it was enough to wake up the hedgehog. He was angry. And he had bought his friends. Who had bought their bits of barn machinery.

Horo found himself in a horizontal position very quickly, waiting for the spiky things to stop running lawnmowers over delicate parts of his brain. When he could oepn his eyes again without seeing purple and blue lights, he stared weakly at Ren, whose expression looked almost... concerned. He decided he must be hallucinating.

'Are you all right?'

'Fine...' Horo decided a lying down approach was sensible at that time. 'Didn't get you a present...'

'That's ok,' Ren's tone seemed to have softened. 'I got one for you,'

He pulled something white out of his pocket. It was too wide to be a ribbon, though. It looked like...

'A headband,' Ren said, smiling. 'Looks like someone beat me to it, though,' He gestured to Horo's forehead. Horo lifted one hand and touched thick bandage.

'What happened?' He didn't feel quite so weak anymore. He didn't want to risk alarming the hedgehog, though.

'You fainted going out of the library, and caught your head on the corner of a desk. Blood everywhere, girls screaming, that sort of thing,'

'Oh... ok. You got me a present? Thanks. Though...'

'Though...'

Horo tried to think of a way to get out of saying it, but it was too late. He braced himself for the consequences.

'I thought St. White's Day was when guys got presents for girls,'

The air heated. the hairs on the back of his neck crisped. He kept his eyes shut, because he knew if he opened them his retinas would be burned to a crisp. He was in the full force of Death Glare Level 5.

'And?' Ren's voice was dangerously cold.

'Nothing,' Horo said, trying not to move. He was going to have a nasty heat rash for weeks. He didn't open his eyes. He was getting tired...

'No you don't,' Ren shook his shoulder lightly. Nurse says you can't go to sleep till the doctor checks you over,'

Horo groaned.

'Don't worry,' Ren's grin looked out of place on a face that was still in the after-effects of a Death Glare Level 5. 'I can think of a few things to do while we wait,'

Horo grinned.

Best. St. White's Day. Ever.