Author's Note: The story begins in the film version of the Fellowship of the Ring when the fellowship has reached the city of Lothlorien and has been allowed to seek comfort and protection from the Lady of Light herself. I truly wanted to add something more unique to the typical 10th walker stories and I hope I have done just that! This is NOT a story thrown together just for the sake of a Legolas/OC pairing…I hope you will find interest in the characters I've created and the portrayal of existing characters. DO NOT flame me for any elements of the story/film I have altered or changed…I know the passion of Tolkien fans, being one of them myself, but this is a creative writing website that SHOULD value and accept some changes by the will of the writer. Comments and reviews are always welcome! Text in italics is being spoken in Elvish! Whew! Without further ramble here is my story! –
Elleth of Light
Chapter One
Nothing Like Them
Merenwen's POV
"How does she know for certain?" I asked, continuing to press my body against the tree. I ran my fingers across the ridges of bark; hoping the wisdom and strength from this aging giant could somehow find its way into my heart.
"When is our Lady Galadriel ever known to be uncertain?" Such a response was hardly a welcomed one; although there was little that could be done to bring peace to my racing mind. I felt the very rhythm of my heart quicken the longer I tried to accept the news that had been delivered to me. I suppose I cannot blame Haldir for revealing it in the manner in which he did. Such news was meant for me to hear directly from our Lady Galadriel, but Haldir had hoped to prepare me for my response. He would never stop his role as mentor in my life.
"Haldir…I cannot. This cannot be my fate, to die alongside strangers without the comfort and strength of my kin…I cannot. I will not!" I stammered; a highly unusual manner of speaking for me but words had failed me. I felt all sense of composure flee from my senses; I lifted my gaze to the golden canopy above me.
"My lady, forgive me but who said anything about dying?" I glared at my inquirer.
"The fellowship will not succeed…the people of this world will not win this war Haldir! It is folly! This…this so called fellowship is simply a fool's attempt to bring some sense of peace into the minds of the weary!" I felt the warmth of fresh tears trailing down my face as I refused to meet the gaze of my fellow march-warden. I detested appearing to him so weak.
"I'm quite certain Lord Elrond is far from being a fool Merenwen. Do not cast away hope so blindly…perhaps with your skill and tactful mind the fellowship may yet prevail." I wanted to scream, release all my building rage at the elf before me but it was an impossible task when the only thing that I felt my body doing was reaching out hesitantly to feel his arms embracing me.
Within moments I was pressing my cheek against his chest. The fabric of his grey cloak was a comfort to my skin. I felt his arms pulling me closer against his muscular build; he then rested his chin upon my head of platinum locks. I could feel his gentle breath upon my features.
"You cannot expect me to believe your words. What can I possibly do to aid them, Have they been informed of Lady Galadriel's decision? Surely Elessar will not agree to this." I felt his chest rising and falling abruptly as he chuckled.
"My Lady, Elessar was the first to agree to the decision. He knows better than any, your skill with a blade. Do you think a Dunedain forgets that easily how you defeated him in friendly combat? You are an incredible warrior."
"Incredible enough to face the legions of Mordor?" I hissed. I felt his hands position themselves upon both of my shoulders before his gaze lowered towards me.
"Enough! You speak of defeat as if you have already witnessed it! Do you think I do not fear for your safety? Do you think I desire to idly watch as you venture out from my protection…and the protection of your people? I fear for you, but I believe in our Lady's decision, I do not think she would send you to your death knowingly. She has hope…Elrond has hope…so should we. Now dry your tears; go speak with her and you walk bravely into the company of this fellowship." His words were bold, but as was the creature he was. I was honored to be in the company of such a presence in the hour my path had suddenly shifted and was facing the unknown.
As I continued to stare into his eyes I was reminded yet again how foolish it was that neither of us had ever spoke of love. I often contemplated if I had merely imagined the attraction I sensed; I was drawn to him but perhaps it was still dwelling in the realm of uncertainty. But it was in moments such as these that I knew something was there. Something was undeniably there lingering within our hearts. It was a feeling, a longing, some stirring of the soul that no other could understand; but even now, as we stood in the aching silence that surrounds us, we forced our bodies apart. We exchanged a few bows of courtesy that either meant I'm sorry to allow that closeness to happen, or I'm sorry to not allow it to continue.
Haldir was my mentor, my greatest support, my dearest friend and the lover it would seem I would never know. I had never felt so…strangely drawn to another creature in my entire span of existence. However I suppose something resembling romantic involvement between us would appear to be inappropriate. His reputation meant a great deal to him and to me as well. I am the only female march-warden in the land and Haldir, is the one who allowed it. Our feelings would surely complicate things and presumably place me in a reputation I dare not speak of. I earned my rank by my own hand, my blood spilled to get me to where I stand today.
"You best not keep her waiting." Haldir finally spoke. I watched as he stiffened his posture and raised his chin proudly; as if trying to pretend nothing had taken place. I couldn't help but smile before lowering my head.
"My Lord." I bowed.
"My Lady." I took a turn and found myself gliding down the spiral stairs tightly hugging the tree. Before I reached the bottom I paused; I took in a deep breath and exhaled before adjusting my armor and re-positioning my cloak. I then shifted my hair behind me and tried my hardest to assume the role of accepting and obedient elf when all I truly wanted to do was continue my patrol of our borders and maintain my life as it was.
I have heard talk of the council of Elrond; rumors about the great savoir in the form of nine companions traveling to the gates of Mordor. What lies were they told to cause them to willingly travel to their doom and for what? They might as well be delivering the one ring to Sauron personally. I tried to view myself as a rational mind; I did not fall victim to false hope and I wasn't about to start.
It wasn't long before my steps had brought me to the throne of Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel. Within their presence, the world around was illuminated. As I bowed before them, I kept my gaze low. The Lady Galadriel had this way about her; this power to see within your soul and speak to the very thoughts swirling about your mind. It was…terrifying and awe-inspiring.
"Arise." Lord Celeborn spoke, his tone reaching new depths in tone. No doubt aware of my hesitation to face them.
I stood; forcing my nervous hands behind me before raising my gaze to the illuminated beings of power before me. I felt the very hairs upon my neck begin to rise as Lady Galadriel fashioned herself a smirk as she studied me.
Suddenly I felt it; the feeling that I knew all too well. I felt her presence entering my mind; my very thoughts were no longer my own. Soon it wasn't my voice I could hear within my mind…it was hers.
"Be still my child, you have no reason to fear me." She spoke; I was grateful for her desire to ease my nervousness.
"I do not fear you my lady, I simply fear the future." I thought silently.
"You cannot continue to blame me for what it is you saw in the mirror my dear Merenwen. It was an honor, a blessing not all of my people are given. It was a gift for you to do with as you wish."
"I…will die…" I finally spoke aloud.
I can remember that evening as if it were only yesterday. I can still recall the winter chill nipping at my every feature, the blades of grass bending beneath my feet as I approached the mirror. Galadriel had poured the water painfully slow as she silently awaited my gaze to fall onto my reflection. As I clasped either side of the pedestal, a thought entered my mind; it was Lady Galadriel's voice.
"Will you look into the mirror?" I remember her asking me. I answered bravely by allowing my eyes to lower to see images of myself, my life…rapidly being projected into my gaze until finally resting upon an image that would forever haunt my very dreams. There, upon a mound of debris and rubble from a crumbling walled fortress, lay my body. I appeared so fair in contrast to the darkened destruction beneath me. My eyes were fixed, unblinking staring up to the heavens above.
My hands gripped the pedestal so tightly; I felt my nails nearing their breaking point against the stone.
The peaceful expression upon my face within the mirror was quickly out shadowed by the gash reaching its ugly hand across my throat. My blood trickled with ease from the steady downpour of rain.
I tried to blink the scene away from my eyes, but I could not look away. My breathing was reduced to shallow gasps of fear as I tried to force my body away from this dreaded mirror until finally I felt myself fall upon the ground behind me.
"I did not summon you there that night to instill fear into your heart." Galadriel spoke, bringing me back to the reality of the scene at hand.
"And yet you intend to send me with the fellowship to meet that very end!" I said harshly in common tongue.
"My…apologies. Forgive my tone. I simply…do not understand." I quickly added as I watched Lord Celeborn shift grudgingly.
"You have spent far too long in the company of men. You have the same temperament and you forget your place." I lowered my head; Lord Celeborn had not yet forgiven me for my absence in Lorien. He deemed it a betrayal when he learned I had grown close to the race of men regardless of the fact that one of those men happened to be Elessar himself. Lord Celeborn was prideful of his people, and though he was kind and just as a ruler, he was not one to forget mistakes.
"The future is not set in stone my child. You have a role to play in the changing events in this world; however big or small that role may be is up to you. All I ask is that you trust me as you once did." Lady Galadriel said with a smile as I looked upon her. Her eyes glistening with the wisdom that I did indeed used to trust.
"What of Haldir my Lady…what will become of him?" I was hesitant to ask but it was foolish of me to think that any secrets could remain hidden to the eyes of the Lady of Light.
"Your path no longer follows that of Haldir; it is time that step out of the shadows of what could be so that you may embrace what will be. Do not be troubled Merenwen for you are still so young and have much to offer this world before you give your heart to another." I felt in that moment a slight break within my very soul. Lady Galadriel was so gentle in her words but it did little to soften the blow of what they meant. I desperately wanted to inquire further, to perhaps beg for him to accompany the fellowship as well but I knew they had much to attend to rather than wasting time on an elf so anxiously clinging to a hope that was no longer within my reach.
"I should go prepare myself for travel. I thank you both for your time and for words. I shall do my best to make you proud." I spoke barely over a whisper as I bowed before them.
"Before you depart; I have a gift for you." Lady Galadriel rose gracefully from her throne before gliding towards me with a smile. My eyes narrowed slightly as her light grew in intensity the closer she came. I stood as straight as possible; I then felt her hands clasping my own. Blinking, unable to speak, I felt a small trinket of some kind being placed in my hand.
"Your mother was a dear friend of mine. I often spoke with her in my troubled times…her loss is still felt within my heart even to this day. This belonged to her; a treasure your father had given to her the eve of your birth. You were the greatest treasure in her eyes and she knew that you would do great things, far greater than she could have ever done. May it remind you of home, of family and of the love you will find again." I unraveled my hand to see a simply silver chain bearing an intricate design of flowers made of turquoise stone intertwined with vines of silver and diamond.
I felt my breath catch within my throat; I tightly clenched my teeth to keep from rambling tearful words of gratitude. My trembling hands fumbled to unclasp the necklace to place it around my neck until Lady Galadriel placed it upon me for me. Her strong yet gentle hands rested upon my shoulders before embracing me.
"I will not forget this kindness my Lady. Thank you." I whispered as I felt her golden locks falling upon my features, blanketing my moment of welcomed weakness.
The warmth of the sun was starting to grace my senses as the new day had finally arrived. I had completed my preparations but I had yet to meet the fellowship; it was unclear as to what was holding me back but I remained sitting at the base of an old friend I often visited in my youth.
I traced the exposed roots breaching from the soil with my fingers.
"You are growing old my dear friend." I chuckled softly.
"I'm afraid that is the nature of trees my lady." I heard a voice speak in the shadows. I raised an eyebrow before realizing this voice seemed somewhat familiar. I spun around to see Elessar approaching.
Without hesitation I ran to him; leaping into his opened arms before he twirled my body around with joy. I had grown quite fond of this rugged man in my travels alongside him. Despite the short length of time it may have been; I still regard them as some of my most cherished memories. I found myself; my rigid and cold demeanor had given way to the acceptance of emotions. The elves here, they mock my personality. They find it displeasing that I had allowed myself to become changed by the company of men but I welcomed such a change.
"Your face is a most welcomed sight in these dark times my lady."
"You are too kind; much like my favorite tree I see that you too are growing old Elessar." I laughed. I then felt my feet being placed back onto the earth.
"And you are still the same beauty to behold. Why do you remain at a distance from the fellowship? Surely you cannot be afraid to join us. I did not think that fear was a feeling you were capable of experiencing almighty she-elf." He teased.
"Keep those words up my friend and you shall find yourself looking up at my blade upon your throat again." I chuckled as I began studying his choice in wardrobe.
"We must find you more presentable clothing Elessar." I quickly interjected while I examined the tattered fabric upon his build.
"It's called practicality; and what do they call the armor in which you are wearing?" He said while lifting my grey cloak revealing my armor. Even under the last remaining darkness of night my silver armor shined with the beauty of the stars.
"I believe they call it practicality with elegance." I said proudly.
"I see; well shall we go introduce you to the rest of the fellowship? I dare say that the young hobbits are eager to have another elf as a companion, I think they have grown to admire your kind." I forced a smile upon my face at those words but I could not find excitement in meeting this band of creatures. What would they think of a female companion?
"Perhaps introductions will be best after you two have some time to speak alone." Elessar whispered as my ears picked up on approaching footsteps.
"Thank you Aragorn." Haldir said as we watched the ranger wander from our reach.
"Did you intend to depart without speaking to me again?" Haldir spoke in a tone I had not yet heard grace his lips. His expression was lifeless, his color had all but faded from his face yet I did not have the heart to ask why.
"I did not know…what to say." I finally admitted. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest while breathing in the gentle breeze. I could feel the rays of the sun upon my back, warming my body slowly.
"Well then, I would have you listen rather than speak. I must…set you free Merenwen. But know that in another time I would have loved you. I would have given you all that I could possibly give just to see you smile. I would…have married you and…well, I would have done anything in my power to keep you by my side. I ask that you leave these lands without holding onto anything…including the idea that you and I could be together."
I felt my feet carrying me further back from the elf before me. Disbelief, shock and confusion must have riddled my face for it took him a great deal of self control to pull away his extended hand.
"What is this? Why are you telling me this?"
"You cannot truly expect to put your heart into this quest if it remains here in Lothlorien. It was a dream, something we thought of to help ease the fear of the growing darkness but it was simply a dream and nothing more." He spoke as if he had rehearsed these words at great length but he refused to look at me when he spoke them. I felt my anger rising as he kept pouring words of how our feelings were nothing more than a figment of imagination conjured to help pass the time.
"What has changed for you in the mere hours in which we last spoke?" I tried to remain quiet in my words but my anger was beginning to filter through.
"Nothing, I just did not have the heart to tell you before."
"Lies! I demand to know! I have the right to know Haldir!" I demanded. I watched as Haldir looked down at the ground before returning to me.
"Damn your stubbornness Merenwen! My business is my own!" He roared. He had stood strong in his stance while I had began pacing in a line before him. My steps were heavy, purposefully making the sound that mimicked my wild heart that seemed to be beating like a drum.
"I cannot believe this is happening…Haldir I know the future is grim but perhaps if we had hope…in us we may yet survive." I felt like a child. Begging and fumbling for attention I had begun to pour the words within my heart to the stoic elf.
"I did not imagine these feelings we share...I love-"
"STOP IT MERENWEN! You have a mission to complete! You will see to it that the hobbit in possession of the one ring makes it to Mordor and destroys that ring by whatever means necessary. You will serve the ring-bearer, you will fight and you will win. Is that understood?" Typical Haldir, to revert back to his role as march-warden even when facing the fact I nearly spoke of my true feelings towards him. Was this Lady Galadriel's doing? Or was this truly how he felt? If it meant protecting me, his people and this world Haldir would gladly suffer the consequences of losing my love. He was selfless and it was tearing me apart.
"Harden your heart, refuse feelings of love for that is a weakness the enemy will use against you. Please, for once, be obedient to my orders." His voice had faded in power and strength; his eyes began to show the slightest hint of sadness within them.
"So that's it…I leave here being nothing more than your pupil, and you my mentor?" I trembled. Already the thoughts of his absence were beginning to frighten me.
"Yes. We always have our dreams Merenwen; but dreams are all that they will ever be. I dare say that you will one day you will understand. I bid thee farewell." He said with a bow. I did not know whether to cling to him or run far from his sight; my body chose to remain still as he took a turn and left me in a daze.
"Go then, run away like the coward that you are!" I instantly brought my hand over my mouth the moment I realized my thoughts had spewed from my lips. I watched as he steps came to a halt.
"You are far better off in the company of men than you are with elves Merenwen." He then turned away and continued his path leading away from me.
After the seemingly endless time of introductions had taken place, I had found myself within a daze; a fog had entered my mind as I tried to understand the events that had taken place. My thoughts were quickly interrupted by a young hobbit standing before me.
"You are leaving your home…for me. Leaving your family, friends…your entire life to do this; please know I would not ask it of you to leave…if you are not ready." I was astonished at the words the small creature had spoken. I felt a smile upon my face as I placed my hand upon his head of curly brown locks.
"I know that you would not ask it of me; but I am meant to be by your side master hobbit. For reasons unclear to me, our paths are now intertwined. Shall we make it a path worth traveling?" I winked. I watched as the young hobbit chuckled as he joined his kin.
The sun had risen to a great height in the sky as we began piling our gear into the elegant boats Galadriel had given us. I would be paddling a boat with the company of Prince Legolas of Mirkwood and a short, stout creature they call Gimli. I was not fond of Dwarves, I found them rude, obnoxious and I simply could not deny the putrid smell that accompanied them.
I was standing before the waters edge; the chill of the river had reached the tip of my boots. I had begun to scan the trees surrounding us; I saw familiar faces bidding us farewell. The Lady Galadriel was standing; her radiant glow did not distract me from searching for another face. There was no reason for him to stand upon the shore; but still I searched.
"My lady, are you ready to depart?" I turned to see the young prince gesturing me towards our boat. His gentle smile was enough to force a smile of my own as I nodded.
"Were you looking for someone?" a deep, unattractive voice asked me. I looked down to see the dwarf. His bushy red eyebrows furrowed.
"No." I quickly replied.
"I see." He added as he climbed into the boat after me. Legolas handed me a paddle before he pushed our boat into the water.
I dared not face Galadriel as we paddled further and further from the shore. I felt her eyes upon me, yet I focused my gaze forward. It was the only thing I felt I should do; look forward…and never look back.
We had been paddling for hours, trees and monuments left in ruin passed us as we continued down the watery path.
"Had you told me I would be sitting in a boat with two elves on a quest to Mordor I would have believed you to be mad." Gimli snorted in laughter. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the comment.
"My father warned me of dwarves. He said they were prideful and arrogant." I heard the prince reply.
"Funny, my father told me the same about elves." The two proceeded to laugh; leaving me in a confusing state of thought. When was it that dwarves and elves become so friendly towards one another?
"So tell me lassie, how did such a fine beauty find herself in the midst of the fellowship?" Gimli asked. I felt my mouth open slightly; did he truly just say such a thing to me?
"You will have to excuse my friend; I believe he has become enamored with the elleths of Lothlorien." Prince Legolas said.
"Trust me master dwarf, I am nothing like them."