I had this vision in my head for days. I couldn't help myself I had to write it. Special thanks to Suburbs & Poet On The Run. They helped a lot and edited it so I sound educated. Dedication is to Poet On The Run, life doesn't always turn out how we planned but we all get to have our happy ending sooner or later.
Love to all my readers.
KoLi
The smoke swirled around the dimly lit bar in which Macy sat. The neon sign gave the air a blue ambience and she felt herself relax. She loved it here; yes, it wasn't somewhere she should be, but the secrecy of the low lighting allowed her to be herself. She felt a presence slide onto the bar stool next to her.
"What's a beautiful girl like you doing here drinking alone?" The man had clearly been dipping deep into the confidence and he reeked of it.
"It's coke and I prefer to be alone." The man laughed and placed a hand over hers. Macy looked down in disgust and sneered.
"Sir, I know seven different ways to harm you with every object on this bar. I suggest you remove your hand from mine." The man looked at the small girl and then around the bar. There were several objects that could damage him and despite the lust in his eyes, he let go of her hand and walked away. Macy smiled, glad she had played sports in high school; she had learned well how to sound threatening.
She looked around the room; there were about forty people. A couple sat in a corner sipping drinks and smiling—Macy watched them for the longest. They had what had been missing from her life for so long. She had to turn away, unable to watch their happiness; it felt invasive and wrong. She brought her hands together and pressed them to her chest, trying to bring herself some small measure of comfort. She knew it was wrong to come here, but she couldn't stop. It was an obsession she couldn't control, far worse than her JONAS days. It was a sickness; his voice was the only thing that helped her sleep at night, brought her peace. It was so rare a gift that she subjected herself to the lowest of surroundings and drunken men.
She was near enough to hear his sweet voice caress her but hidden in the shadows so he wouldn't see her face, she couldn't bear the thought of him knowing she was here. Her body began to sway with the slow melody he played on the guitar, his fingers expertly plucking and stroking each beautiful note into perfection.
"You and I have a silent history,
Woven without words—a intricate symphony.
Unspoken and hidden deep in the palm of your hand,
My heart was destined to break
Before the story began.
Our quiet past; and none to know
Of its tragic start.
Emptiness and desire my only friend.
There's an ache deep within my soul.
It knows who you are, or so I'm told.
There is such a longing,
I don't know how I'll be free.
Do you feel it too; will you wait as I do?
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid,
The wind blowing only reminds me
Of how empty life is without you
This isn't what I had hoped for
A shadow of a man in desperate need
There's an ache deep within my soul.
It knows who you are, or so I'm told.
There is such a longing,
I don't know how I'll be free.
Do you feel it too; will you wait as I do?"
Macy sighed, and hidden in the shadows, she allowed a tear to fall. She didn't know who he wrote it for but he deserved a happy ending. His unrequited love needed to have a perfect resolution. She would have given anything to give him the love story he so obviously wanted, but she had her chance years ago, and she let him go. He had hopes and dreams and she hadn't allowed herself to be the one to hold him back.
Macy clearly remembered the day she realized that he was "the one." It was winter and the sky was painted grey in spite the early morning sun. He was the last on the bus and the tears were forming in her hazel eyes. He looked down at her, smiled and opened up his arms. Macy didn't hesitate as she rushed into them and pressed her cheek to his chest. He was her best friend and he was leaving to chase his dream with his brothers in Europe.
"Macy, I promise to come back. We have an awesome opportunity to record right now and we've got to take it. I'll be back and it'll be like I never left." Macy nodded her head into his chest and sighed with deep anguish. Now was not the time to tell him, he'd ask her to come; or worse, he'd stay and she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she held him back. So she let him go and watched as he stepped onto the bus and out of her life forever.
Macy pushed back a sob; his song was over and he was stepping off the stage. She looked down as he passed her table and went to sit at the bar. His back was to her and she could look up and watch him. She knew it was creepy, but how did one keep their eyes off of the one they had been waiting for? She watched as he spoke to the barkeep and nodded his head slowly, a few more words passing between them before he turned around on the stool. And their eyes met. It was over, her charade was done. She knew she couldn't trust that old bartender. He stood slowly and Macy felt like she was watching a movie. His eyes had the same glow and he looked incredibly handsome moving through the smoke and haze that covered the room. Her heart rate increased and she felt the need to run like hell. She gripped the table and wondered how long they had been staring at one another. She looked down at her hands and noticed her knuckles were white; she looked at the ceiling and saw gum.
After what felt like an eternity, he sat down in front of her. She couldn't resist the urge to look up, it had been four years since they had any kind of interaction. His face had aged, but he was at least 23 now. He smiled and Macy broke, her hands released the table and her knees felt like putty.
"Macy, it's been a while."
She nodded in agreement and looked down at the table again. He had this unbelievable ability to make her feel 17 again. She glanced down at his left hand, unable to tell if it was his infamous purity ring or a wedding band. She hoped it was the former. He reached over placed a warm hand on her small frozen one.
"I'm sorry, Macy." He paused for a moment and watched as a tear trickled down her nose and to the corner of her mouth. "I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry I didn't call and I'm sorry I didn't tell you how much I loved you before I left. You deserve the best in the world, and I shouldn't have promised something like that." Macy removed her hand from underneath his and fiercely wiped away the tear that had escaped. He sighed deep and heavy, a sound far too ancient to be passing from his lips.
"Macy, I know you've been here every night. You can't hide in the shadows. I would recognize those eyes anywhere, even if the face is covered in the dark. Macy, I missed you." Macy laughed, it's sounded sick and harsh and she reached up to wipe her nose. Kevin knew she had suffered while he was gone, her mother had sent several angry emails.
"Will you say something, please?"
Macy shook her head, there was so much she had wanted to say but nothing would come out. She choked back her tears and finally spoke. "The song you sang was beautiful."
Kevin laughed; she never had been good at facing things head on.
"You know it was for you."
Macy began to trace the grain of the wood with her finger. Kevin watched, intrigued by her amazing ability to be passive. He grabbed her hand again.
"Macy! I need you to know that song was for you. What we had was special. We were destined for each other and despite the distance, I waited for you. I know it's been four years, but I told you it'd be like I never left. I want to go back to what we were."
Macy shook her head. "I can't go back to what we were. I don't want to be your friend Kevin."
"Good, I didn't plan on being your friend." And with those words spoken he leaned across the table and kissed her fully on the mouth. He pulled away, turned his head slightly and looked at her. A smile was on her mouth as she reached up and touched her lips. She looked up at him and her smile grew.
That's all I have in me today. I hope you all like it. Please review. It's been a rough day and reviews are one of those things that just cheer me right up.
KoLi