Disclaimer: I don't own Skins. I do own a copy of the DVD and book.
Summary: Ten years later; Naomi and Emily are friends, best friends. They've moved on from their relationship in college, have new loves and new lives that mix regularly. But when things change for the people around them, they find themselves pushed together in more ways than one.
Author Notes: New story, hoping it won't be all doom and gloom, we'll see. Please review. :-)
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Felt It All Before
Emily sat at her desk, staring at the calendar on the wall; contemplating the world and everything in it. There were four days until her twenty-seventh birthday, four days until another year will have passed her by. Birthdays always made her feel like she was getting old, she was getting older. Time seemed to keep on turning, even when she didn't want it to and though it scared her sometimes, she was supposed to be happy. A yawn escaped her lips, covered by her hand as she leant back against her computer chair.
'Boring you already?' Naomi's voice filled the room, pulling her from her thoughts.
'Oh shit,' she gasped, turning around. 'I didn't realise you were here.'
Naomi shrugged her shoulders and walked across the room, settling herself in the spare chair beside Emily. 'I'm on my way to pick up Joel, thought I'd stop by and say hello.'
'You could have waited until later,' Emily muttered, raising an eyebrow at the baffled blonde.
'Maybe I wanted to see you now,' Naomi responded, picking up the wooden cube puzzle that Emily kept on her desk and setting to work at solving it.
The level of focus that Naomi seemed to have, her eyes narrowing carefully at each piece of the puzzle, concerned Emily. She knew her well, knew which expressions meant what. From her distracted look, Emily knew there was something going on.
'Alright Campbell,' she muttered. 'Talk.'
'What?' Naomi asked, glancing up with uncertainty.
'I'm a youth counsellor Naomi, it's my job to see past the blasé looks and we've known each other for twelve years, you can't play the confused card with me.'
A sigh escaped Naomi's open mouth, like letting air out of a balloon. 'Have I ever told you how annoying you are?'
'You tell me every week,' Emily laughed.
'Al wants us to have another baby.'
It didn't really surprise her, instead a small grin crept onto Emily's face as she told Naomi how great it was. But the deflated look in Naomi's eyes made Emily backtrack.
'You don't?'
Naomi tucked her lip under her tooth. 'It's not that I don't want another one. Joel is fantastic, I couldn't have asked for anything better. But he's at that stage where he's finally getting some independence. He doesn't rely on me for every little thing.'
'Ahh,' Emily noted. 'You've just got your life back and you don't want to lose it again.'
Naomi shrugged. 'Something like that.'
'And what has the great Naomi Campbell done about this so far?'
Two blue eyes glanced at her, glaring with such intensity that Emily could only laugh. Naomi muttered something under her breath, her eyes rolling upwards. Emily coughed, trying to mask her insanely large smile. The sarcasm in her voice was only ever reserved for the equally sarcastic Naomi, but on this occasion she wondered if she'd overstepped the mark.
'Just fucking say it already,' Naomi snapped.
'You can't expect Al to know what you're thinking Naomi,' she informed her, honestly. 'You always were pretty crap at this side of relationships, weren't you?'
'I don't want to hurt him.'
Emily reached out, steadying Naomi's active hand, holding it down over a piece of the wooden puzzle. 'It's commendable, but it's not how you should play this. You know that, don't you? You can't keep running when things get difficult.'
'You don't think I know that?' Naomi gasped, rubbing her temple with her spare hand. 'I don't want to still be this stupid fuck up, I've been doing well Emily, I've really been trying my hardest to handle things on my own.'
'I know you have,' Emily whispered. 'But Al loves you and I assume you love him too from the way you were kissing him at our last dinner party.'
Naomi rolled her eyes. 'Please, don't remind me. He's not let me live that drunken night down.'
'Just tell him how you feel and he'll be okay with it.'
A smile and a thank you later, Emily found herself staring at her friend. She looked a little lost, unsure about her life as it stood. Things were usually going well and though Emily didn't mind picking up the pieces when it wasn't, she couldn't help wonder how Naomi had managed to keep hold of her husband.
'Now you'd best go and pick up my beautiful Godson before you're late. Don't go spreading my advice giving to my boss; it's all about helping the young people find their own answers here. But you're Naomi and you need a bloody good kick up the backside sometimes.'
Naomi rolled her eyes again, making Emily smile. The blonde stood up, embracing Emily briefly before she walked out of the office. The silence that followed seemed to consume her, fill her thoughts with everything that had been in her head before her best friend had walked through the door. She didn't mind giving advice, sorting out Naomi's problems when she was too stubborn or inept to do it herself. But for once, she just wished that Naomi would notice that she wasn't okay and do the same in return.
*
'Are you okay?'
A pair of arms slid around Emily's shoulders, wrapping her up tightly from behind in an embrace. She rested a hand against her girlfriend's wrist, twisting up until her lips could reach the luscious red lips of the girl she loved. Gabriella pulled away, stroking a hand along her cheek until Emily stood up and let the dark haired woman pull her into a full embrace.
'I guess.'
'Do you want to cancel tonight?' Gabriella asked, holding her at arms length so that they could look into each other's eyes. 'I'm sure Naomi and Al understand.'
Emily pulled away, returned to the seat at her dressing table and continued to apply her make up. It was harder now, harder to ignore what was so blatantly present in her mind. She brushed away a couple of tears.
'No. They don't know.'
'What?' Gabriella asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and staring at Emily. 'But you tell Naomi everything.'
'It just didn't feel right,' Emily whispered, coughing to disguise her teary voice. 'Al wants them to start trying and Naomi isn't sure, they've got their own things going on.'
'Emily,' Gabriella sighed, rubbing her eyes.
'I'm fine Gabs, it's fine,' Emily muttered, applying eyeliner.
They'd been together for four years, even before they officially started a relationship, they spent a year in constant contact. Aside from Naomi, Gabs was Emily's best friend. She loved her deeply and she usually told Gabriella everything.
'I'll be downstairs checking my emails, call me when you're ready to go.'
Emily waited until the door closed behind her, before turning around. She stared at the wooden frame, like staring at it would make a difference, would change what was going on. Eventually she finished getting dressed, wiping away any stray tears and reapplying her make up to remove the smudges from her cheeks.
*
The dinner was cooking, Joel was sound asleep in bed and Naomi was tucked up beside Al resting against his chest. They loved each other, Naomi knew that, she knew that he cared for her deeper than anyone had before. Except for one. But things change, people change and she was happy in her life.
'I don't think I want to change how things are,' Naomi mumbled, running a hand along the front of Al's shirt. 'I like not having a baby in the house right now.'
Al seemed to tense up under her touch, making Naomi regret her words. 'It's not like we'll be having a baby right now.'
'I know,' Naomi noted. 'But I like where we're at. With Joel.'
'Nao,' Al sighed, sitting up, forcing her away from him. 'We haven't talked about this, you said we could talk about this. But now, ten minutes before our friends are due to arrive. It's not the time.'
Naomi let out a breath, wondered why it hurt so much to merely breath. 'I'm sorry. I just thought you'd understand.'
'I do,' Al muttered. 'But it's not as simple as that.'
'Why not?' Naomi asked, staring him down, challenging him.
The conversation stopped abruptly, a loud knock on the door suggesting the arrival of their guests. Naomi opened her mouth to speak, to ask Al to not open the door just yet. But it was too late.
