Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek. That is the due of Gene Roddenberry, Desilu Studios, Paramount Studios and CBS as well as now J.J. Abrams (needs more McCoy screen time). This work takes place shortly after the end of the TOS episode: "Operation: Annihilate". I recommend watching or reviewing the episode before reading if you are unfamiliar with which one it is.
Doctor Leonard McCoy sighed tiredly as he threw himself unceremoniously on his bed. Though the doctor would never admit it, he was stung by the captain's behavior earlier that day (was it even day?). Rubbing his tired face with his hands he decided to forgo getting out of his uniform let alone shower and settled for rolling onto his side, burying his face in his pillow.
McCoy could still feel the guilt knowing that he hadn't needed near the spectrum of light he had used on Spock to drive out the creature that had held onto him. While he knew it wasn't his fault, and that Spock had agreed to go through with it in the first place, the guilt was there. Accentuated by the anger that had appeared in Jim's eyes.
Even now that it was over, a part of him refused to let go of the events of the day. At first it was just the guilt, now there was the bitterness over his negligence to wait for the data before testing on the Vulcan. McCoy was so lost in his thoughts and slowly losing awareness that he did not register the comm link trying to get his attention. It was only when the intercom paged that he snapped back to reality.
"Doctor McCoy, report to the bridge." Came Uhura's voice, she sounded slightly concerned but he was sure he was hearing things before he pressed the comm link to reply.
"McCoy to bridge, give me five minutes."
McCoy practically dashed out his door, fully aware he might run into something if he didn't slow down. All he could think was something happened, why else would the call him back to the bridge none to soon after he left it. Upon entering the bridge, McCoy noticed three things.
First he noticed that Uhura did indeed seem concerned over something. Second, that Spock and the captain were seemingly in an intense discussion and thirdly, that Spock looked mildly irritated .
I've gotta be seein' things. Spock never actually look irritated.
"There a reason I was called up here Jim?" McCoy drawled, letting his irritation get the best of him. He had after all been trying to sleep and forget today happened and it was usually Jim who hauled him up there when he wasn't already there.
"Mister Spock and I were just talking about you Bones." Jim replied, a little tense apparently having not realized the doctor was there until he spoke up. McCoy tried not to smile as being back to nickname basis, having Jim call him just doctor with such venom had really smarted a bit.
"I take it I wasn't supposed to be 'privy' to this discussion as you're shocked I'm here Jim."
Uhura looked a little guiltily at him from her post, but also looked relieved that the captain and first officer were no longer talking to one another with that intense vibe going off them.
"I was discussing with the captain his treatment of you during the time I was temporarily blind. I felt the need to remind him that I had volunteered for the test despite the inconclusive data."
McCoy could feel his entire body bristle, not because the hobgoblin was standing up for him but because he had tried so hard to go through the day without any reminders of the events of the day. The doctor was thankfully quick enough to resume normal behavior.
"Feeling a little misplaced sympathy Spock? If I couldn't handle Jim's understandable anger, do you think I'd stay aboard this ship instead of having a new CMO that can transferred here?"
The entire bridge was silent, it was then that McCoy realized he had said the second question out loud. Suddenly the room felt way too warm for his liking and a new crushing guilt started constricting in his bitter heart.
"Bones...do you mean that? Do you honestly think for one second I would accept another Chief Medical Officer in your place?" Jim asked, amber eyes wide in disbelief. Though thinking on it, Jim could see where the thought had come from. Then his mind went to the way McCoy had worded it.
Spock also felt rather disoriented by McCoy's statement, but it did not betray anything on his face. The Vulcan knew that McCoy was trying to recollect his nerves from the days events, and he had seen the jibe about feelings coming. But no amount of logic could have prepared him for the question the doctor had obviously not intended to ask aloud.
McCoy couldn't respond, he was rooted to the spot. It was only when Jim took a step forward that the doctor took one back, fear of a major fight starting. While it was common knowledge that McCoy got away with a lot insubordination, the doctor felt like he had just crossed the line.
"Dammit Jim, does it sound like I meant it? I said 'if I couldn't' not that I am going to do it." McCoy sighed, rubbing the back of his head his blue eyes refusing to look anywhere but his own boots now. "I just...today was different alright."
A sense of understanding washed over Jim as he stood next to the doctor and rest a hand on his shoulder, getting his attention.
"I'm sorry bones. I was angry over something you didn't have control over and Spock is right, it was his decision. Besides, his eyes are back to normal as we discussed before you left disliking his hearing I believe."
McCoy groaned at the reminder of his compliment to Spock, before he looked at Spock.
"You realize I'll just deny ever saying it if asked about it."
"I am aware doctor, it would be highly irregular for your habits in regards to treatment of me to change so dramatically." Spock replied, a smile only passing his eyes. A smile that only two men aboard the entire Enterprise could see.
"So, are you still feeling bitter and angry with yourself or are you actually going to join us in mess per usual?" Jim asked, a handsome smirk in place.
"Wait, you mean you DID page me up here in the first place?" McCoy demanded, blue eyes lit with fire.
"I knew you'd be moping all night if I didn't get you up here Bones. Besides, we were seriously arguing about how I reacted. That was true, and I seriously would turn down any other CMO candidates. You are both the best CMO and my friend on top of that. No one could fill your shoes Bones."
"If I am correct in my phrasing doctor, I confer this statement to be true. You are the best 'damn' Chief Medical Officer in the fleet."
McCoy and Jim looked at Spock as if he had two heads as he finally stood by them. Their responses were exactly what the vulcan had wanted.
"Now then, shall we report to mess for our scheduled supper?"
McCoy could only smile to himself as the three of them did just that, looks like he could go the moment without prodding Spock about his reaction after all: Who wants to ruin the moment.
END
Author's Note: I hope this was enjoyable. I'm not that great a writer but I am very pleased with this story. Please do NOT take up a whole comment tallying my mistakes or my views. My views are not less important than yours, nor are they more so. If I decide to believe something that's strictly MY business. Thank You Very Much, and thanks for reading in the first place.