Disclaimer: I once wrote a book series about an evil dog, but I've never written Harry Potter.
Thanks to: tat1312, for making this see the light of day.
Warning for: A small mention of slash that's so light it's barely there. I doubt it'll bother you, but I figured I'd put a warning in anyway.
Notes: This is an odd fic I started working on months back, and finished only recently. I love the Sorting Hat and I felt like experimenting with the Founders, and I was musing on this when I started to wonder whether Rowena ever tried on the Hat. Then, this was born. You'll notice that the language is a bit old - obviously it's really nothing like the way they would have spoken (I suspect we wouldn't have been able to understand that), but at the same time, it always feels wrong when I see Salazar saying 'Hi' and 'I guess' and all that. It just doesn't work for me.
The Founders (order: Rowena, Salazar, Godric, Helga) 'speak' in italics, the Hat in normal font.
I hope you enjoy this. Please leave me your thoughts.
...Can you hear me?
When you think that loudly, yes, of course I can.
Ah, hello! ...Salazar? Is that you? How nice to hear your dulcet tones in my ear...
Helga, actually. There's been many an occasion when she's wanted to say that to you in the middle of your ramblings.
A good deception, Salazar, but not
Oh, honestly, let me show you.
...
...
...
Was that a memory? Helga's memory?
Yes.
...Do I really sound like that when I have an idea?
Your surprise is refreshing, Rowena.
Oh, Godric the Gallant! How nice of you to join us, too!
Charmed, but I am just Godric's hat, given the powers you have all given me with your enchantments.
You know this? But how? You only came into being when we enchanted you - how can you know beyond that?
Because I see it in your mind!
...You are remarkable. What else do you see?
You are trying to clear your thoughts from me. Clever, but you cannot hide from me.
Remarkable!
...
...
What do you see?
...
What?
I see all that you are, Rowena.
All?
All.
Even the things that I do not see? The things that I do not know, that are deep within me?
I know that you think your search for knowledge will never end. I know that you strive to look deep inside of yourself and see all that you are. I also know that you fear it... that you fear the things you do not know.
Is this me now, saying these things?
Would you talk to yourself, Rowena?
I
I know.
...
You did not make me what I am for the students, did you, Rowena?
I
You did not make me so that your mind could live on.
I
You did not make me to hear the other's voices, either, did you, Rowena?
I... I know.
Of course you know. That is how I know.
...Will you Sort the students for us? Can you?
Of course! But you are not a student, despite your quest for knowledge. You must Sort yourself out.
You, with the wisdom of all four of us together, cannot guide me?
I am not a go-between, Rowena. Ask them for their wisdom yourself. Put your heads together and make decisions together - just as you did when you made me.
Are they agreeable to that?
Ask them yourself.
You truly are remarkable! You have our wisdom and intellect, it seems... but you also have our stubbornness.
...
...
Would you answer but one of my requests?
...
No, Rowena, you cannot use me to look over past memories at your leisure. I may be capable of calling forth some, but that doesn't mean I shall... it is not what I was made for, yes? There is no device made for that... yet.
Remarkable! You know all that I am planning!
I know all that you are, Rowena.
And of the others?
All.
Well could you
Ask them yourself!
I am not a go-between, Salazar.
I am not suggesting that you are, Hat. Quite the contrary. I am merely suggesting
You suggest nothing. Don't try to fool me. Not when I know you. Not when I can see your every thought.
You can't know me. Just because you can see my thoughts, it doesn't mean that you know me. Knowledge does not bring understanding.
Rowena could not have put it better herself, yet I know that you do not mean what you say, as she always does. If you believed what you are saying to be true, you would not be here. Why do you trouble me?
...You Sort the students, do you not?
...
...
What I see in their heads is not for me to disclose.
This regards one of mine.
...
...
...
...I am not asking you to disclose personal information, nor endanger the boy in any way. I am merely seeking to know if he has lied. I do not suffer liars, Hat!
That is ironic. We both know that your reputation for dishonesty is entirely accurate.
If that is you, Godric, then you are one to talk. However, this is not what I am here for! I can bicker with my fellows as much as I wish to normally. I have not come here for arguments and problems.
Then leave. I cannot do what you ask me to.
But
That is not what I was made for, Salazar.
I will not suffer Mudbloods in my house!
...In this school?
That is...
I know what you are thinking, Salazar, but that is not all. Do not be so arrogant to think that I, a hat imbued with the minds of the four greatest wizards and witches of this age, do not know and understand your intentions.
...
If you can understand what I intend, surely you can understand why I need to know this.
Need? Salazar, I understand need far more than you yourself seem to. I am needed only to Sort - anything beyond that is your own concern. I cannot even give you advice beyond 'talk to the others yourself', and I know you well enough to know you would not take such advice.
And if you know me, Hat! If you KNOW me
The others do not agree with you and I know them, too. Knowledge gives way to understanding but not necessarily acceptance. If you wish to appeal to yourself, look in the mirror!
But I wish to appeal to you. I won't take counsel about my opinions when I am set in them, and know, understand and accept them to be right. No, I am not here to speak of this. I simply want to know
If one of your students is a Muggleborn.
And if so, why he was Sorted into my house!
I am not here to disclose personal information. I placed that boy in the right house for him, and you will have to accept this. You made me, did you not? You made me to do this very thing. How can you criticise a decision that you yourself made?
...You have no regrets, Hat?
Look in the mirror.
...
...
I am not a go-between, Godric.
You belong to me, do you not?
I am your hat. I am a hat. If you want to talk to him, he's with his students practising spells in a bathr
Yes, I know perfectly well where he is! And that is how you know.
...
I do not want to talk to him, Hat. I want to talk to you.
No. You want his mind.
You have it.
A portion of it. A fragment. A memory of what his mind was when you gave me life... how many winters have passed since? How much has he changed, Godric? Because I can see that you think he has.
He is a different person.
Well there you are! I cannot help you.
You will not help me.
You made me to Sort students. What are you doing here, Godric? You are not a student, though I can see in your mind that there are things you are yet to learn...
You sound like Rowena.
A part of her. A memory. A fragment. That is what you hear, not Rowena herself. No, Godric, why are you here?
Stop being courteous. You can see, can you not? With Rowena's infinite wisdom in your cloth?
Helga's, actually. She is the only one among you with an ounce of common sense, with the ability to see through people... Rowena pushes the limits. Helga works within them, and knows them all.
You know this. You have their minds. You have his mind!
I am not a go-between, Godric.
I need to know. I need to know what he is thinking... why he cannot see sense...
The answer is simple. You are alike.
I? I? I, like him, stubborn and senseless, not listening to anyone? You insult me, Hat. Salazar and I are nothing alike.
Then why do you care? Why do you chase him? Why should it matter, that he is
Because this is our school! Our dream! And he is ruining it! He
Ah, I see now...
What? What do you see?
I have your mind, too, Godric. I know what you feel.
I feel nothing for that man.
You fear what you feel.
I? I? I, fearing my feelings? Who, Hat? Who is more courageous than I?
If you had courage now, Godric, then you would confront him. You would not be here, demanding questions of me that you fear the answers to.
I do not fear him!
...Do not think that you are the first to sit under me wanting to be told exactly what they want to hear about themselves.
I ask no such thing of you! It is he who is afraid. If he weren't... if he weren't, then, surely, he would confide in me, just as he used to...?
I will not tell you what you want to hear. You are just like your fellows... you create me to hold your selves forever. Then, you put me on and ask me questions. You may as well be talking to yourself - where will that ever get you?
He has spoken to you? Salazar has spoken to you?
I told you, did I not, that you are alike?
What has he told you, Hat? What has he asked of you?
...
Tell me! I bid you, tell me!
...
...
I am not a go-between, Godric.
...Can you hear me?
Helga, you know I can.
I am not certain of what I know these days, Hat. It is hard to be heard in these times.
Particularly when one is the voice of reason?
I see that you are just as wise as ever.
We have talked often. You change; I do not. That is our fates.
So you believe in fate?
A piece of me. A fragment. A memory of the selves that I have been entrusted with... Helga, what do you want? Why do you trouble me?
Oh, come now, Hat! You know that well. In any case, I thought you must grow lonely sometimes. I would, with only my own company.
Don't forget, Helga, that I have the same company as you do.
Then why do you purport to be different?
...
...
I am as troubled as you are.
You fear the oncoming breakdown, too, then?
For the students. For the school. For you, too, no matter how hopeless I think you.
They know that things are wrong. I try to guide my own students, but...
But?
Was this so flawed an ideal, after all? This school of ours?
The division, perhaps, was not wise. But I understand the decisions you made.
Should I... try to reach out to the others? If the division was wrong - might we reverse the damage by guiding each other?
You already know the answer to this. Why do you trouble me, Helga?
Because I fear that the answer I know is not the right one. When I cannot consult my real fellows, then you are the next best thing to them...
Thank you.
Oh, Hat
I am not a go-between, Helga.
How you do love that phrase!
Because it is true. If the divide is the fault, then you must learn to communicate with each other and to fix it. I, I who have not changed since I was made, can have no part in your affairs - you, you who have changed. And that is our fate.
...
...
...
You have not told Salazar that you were once hunted yourself.
He would not understand. He thinks me a fool.
Only because he thinks you do not understand why he fears Muggleborns. If he knew, perhaps
Perhaps nothing! Salazar is as stubborn as Godric, yet he has even less compassion. How could either of them ever understand that knowing how it feels to be persecuted for the magic in my veins has not deterred me from the path of acceptance in the slightest? It is important... so important that we give those who have magic a home here - where else will they find one?
Godric would understand more than you realise.
I do not think so. Godric lives in a little world of innocence. Perhaps the others cannot see it, but I know that every story of persecution by Muggles goes to the heart of him. He and Salazar are poisoning each other.
I see from your head that they do not see eye-to-eye on this issue.
Their real problems lie elsewhere.
...
...
I am aware of this. Neither will admit to it.
You have talked to them of it?
...
...
...
...
I am not a go-between, Helga.
...
...
No, you are must unhelpful.
You came here to reason with yourself. That is never truly helpful, not when thoughts have been flying around in your head for so long, as they have. You must talk to the others!
Rowena, is this you?
A part of her. A memory. A fragment.
Then use your wisdom, and know that it is too late!
You would give up?
Is there anything I can do but that?
...I see why you trouble me, now.
...
You want to say that you have tried, Helga, don't you? You want to be able to say "I tried to sort out the problem." Because you always try. It is in your nature. Yet, you have no hopes of succeeding - you are not even trying for success, because you, too, in your way, are too stubborn. You have been hurt yourself by the arguments and turmoil in what was once such a smooth relationship. So all you want to be able to say is that you tried your best. Not that you succeeded... you do not want success, do you, Helga?
No! It is not so, Hat, you
I what? Helga, I know the better parts of your nature, but I also know the worse. You want Hogwarts to be a home and a shelter for every young witch and wizard, and you know that it cannot be this way with Salazar still here. You want him to leave because it would be easier, don't you?
...
...
...
...Helga?
...
...
Alas, it is so very hard to be heard when one is the voice of reason.