Barbara's tears were silently hitting the pillow. She was lying on her stomach while her boyfriend was taking her with force again. She was used to this. It was best to stay completely still and completely silent, then he would be done faster.
How had it gotten to this point? It didn't start out with abuse, violence and rape. In the beginning he had been charming and caring. She missed the warning signs although in hindsight she could see they had been there. Now it was too late.
He had pushed for her to move in with him quickly. They had only been together for two months. She didn't want to but she ended up doing it when he said he didn't believe she loved him then. She did... didn't she? She didn't know any longer if she had ever loved him or just been desperate to be in a relationship. She sure didn't love him now.
The abuse had started quickly but she had been blind to it in the beginning. He had started out dissing her friends and little by little she had cut them off one by one. She had no family to turn to. She had lost her parents when she was only 2 years old in a carcrash. She didn't remember them at all. Then he had demanded she stopped working. He said he was sure she was cheating with all her male colleagues. She had done as he demanded.
After her friends and colleagues were all gone, the verbal abuse had begun. Bitch, whore, slut, psycho... all words she would hear on a daily basis. After a while he started talking with his fists too. If she messed up the tiniest bit, he would punish her, and according to him she messed up a lot. Half the time he didn't even bother to tell her how she messed up and she had no clue why she was being punished.
Then came the rapes. When he was done shouting at her and beating her, he would force himself on her. She learned fast not to fight back, scream or even beg for him to stop. It seemed to just turn him on more and make him last longer. It was best to stay completely still and completely silent.
She heard him grunt and felt him roll down next to her.
"Stay still, stay silent," her mind kept saying over and over.
Shortly after she heard him snoring. She wiped the tears from her face with her hand.
"Just get through this night and you're free for a week," she thought.
He would be leaving next morning for a business trip and be gone an entire week. She loved when he went on business trips. A whole week with no abuse. It was like heaven.