A/N: Originally written for the drabble prompt/challenge 'Stargazing' over at the ARC. That was before my word-count issues took over (again), and I decided (i.e. had) to give it some breathing room.
p.s. I don't know why I keep writing Jenny/Nick. I don't even ship Jenny/Nick. Apparently my muse does. I don't know if I should be annoyed or grateful...
Stargazing
Jenny finds him on the roof, stretched out on his back with his hands crossed behind his head and one leg bent at the knee, like he was lounging in a summer field, and not atop a top-secret government building. That has a mammoth in its basement.
"You found me," he says without moving. "Took you long enough."
"I've rung you a dozen times. Lester – "
"I chucked it. And to hell with Lester."
"Chucked it?"
"Over the ledge."
"Nick-"
"You know, I never look at them anymore."
He twists his neck around to look at her, his eyes turbulent. Nick is always so calm, collected. Determined. But his eyes give him away. He's good at hiding it, but Jenny's better at seeing it.
"Never look at what?"
"The stars. When I was a kid I used to climb up on my roof every night after my parents put me to bed. They always made me feel so... full of wonder. Hopeful. Like anything was possible."
Jenny looks up too, and suddenly wishes they weren't so close to the city. The heavens are still visible, but only through the orange haze of city lights reflecting off the smog, distorting what is probably a perfectly clear night.
"And now?" she asks, her voice soft.
"Small," he says after a moment's hesitation. "Insignificant."
Jenny's glad he can't see the sadness she feels, because the day Nick Cutter becomes insignificant will be the day the Earth stops spinning. He is a force of nature, unstoppable once he's set his course and destructive to anything that stands in his path. He is a man on a mission.
Only, right now he looks like the mission has been lost, like the lines between success and failure have become so blurred that all of his deeds seem pointless. Jenny thinks of Stephen and how he would know exactly what to say to set Nick's head straight, but Stephen is gone. Stephen is gone and Nick is adrift, and Jenny has never been the nurturing sort but if Nick needs an anchor she thinks she can be that. After all, the fate of mankind may rest on his slender shoulders.
Whatever the rooftop is made of is harsh and grainy and still warm from the day's sunlight, and it puts runs up her stockings as she lies down next to Nick. She toes off her heels and gets as comfortable as possible, pretending not to notice the sudden tenseness of his body.
"We're fighting a war, you know," Jenny says after a minute or two of silence. "Literally against time, and no one bothered to explain the rules of engagement to us. The creatures and the chaos are really just collateral damage. The anomalies are the real problem, and I believe to the bottom of my heart, that if anyone can figure this out, it's you. You've been at the very front of this from the beginning, leading the way, so if you're insignificant than so are all of us who love and trust you, and I rather like to think we're doing some good in the world. That it means something."
The silence that follows Jenny's declaration is intensely uncomfortable, but she isn't looking to break it. She needs Nick to think about what she said. She needs him to believe her for his own sake as much as anyone else's, and she'll wait as long as she has to until he does.
After a few minutes, Nick clears his throat.
"So, what were you saying about Lester?"
Caught off guard, Jenny turns to look at Nick. He is already watching her, a cautious smirk tugging at his lips. She smiles back.
"To hell with Lester."
Nick barks out a deep laugh, then unfolds an arm and grabs her hand where it rests between their bodies. Lacing their fingers, he brings it to his lips and brushes a soft kiss against the back of her hand, then cradles it to his chest. Jenny's heart skips a beat.
"Thank you," Nick whispers.
Jenny squeezes his hand.
"Don't mention it."