Apologies to Don McLean. Madonna can kiss my butt.
Dedicated to J.K. Rowling
Lyrics by MegaRouge
To the tune of American Pie by Don McLean (NOT Madonna...grrr.)
Death Eater Pie (or, Snape's Moment of Truth)
VERSE ONE
Long long time ago
I can still remember, how the Dark Lord used to make me shake
And I knew if I got that Mark
Upon my forearm, deep and dark
That one day I'd be plagued by my mistake
And Halloween at Godrick's Hollow
Made me realize that to follow
Someone quite so mental
Would be detrimental
I can't remember if I cried
When I heard that James and Lily fried
But something changed me deep inside
The day...the Potters...died.
Well bye bye, you bad Voldemort guy
I'm a traitor, I know later
You'll make sure that I die
But until that time, I've promised Albus I'll try
To help beat you by becoming a spy
Beat you by becoming a spy
Did you know I hated James
And Black for their cruel taunts and games
In our Hogwarts years you see
Well, would you believe James saved my skin
After Black convinced me to climb in
Through the tunnel, underneath that crazy tree
Well the sight of Lupin chilled my blood
And I surely thought my name was mud
But James pulled me away
How I rued that fateful day!
Cause from that point on I was in debt
To a man that I despised, and yet
I still found myself filled with regret
The day the Potters died
And so I'm saying....
Bye bye, you bad Voldemort guy
I'm a traitor, I know later
You'll make sure that I die
But until that time, I've promised Albus I'll try
To help beat you by becoming a spy
Beat you by becoming a spy
Now the Order of the Phoenix stands
For all who thwart the Dark Lord's plans
And it won't be an easy fight
But we're strong, we're smart and we will win
When the war against the Dark begins
Cause…Darkness will not triumph over Light
But I know a few of us will fall
When we rise to meet that noble call
My cover will be blown
When my true loyalties are shown
And I'm sure when I shed my disguise
The Dark Lord will add my demise
To the death toll that began to rise
The day the Potters died
But I'm still saying…
Bye bye, you bad Voldemort guy
I'm a traitor, I know later
You'll make sure that I die
But until that time, I've promised Albus I'll try
To help beat you by becoming a spy
Beat you by becoming a spy
Mudbloods, Werewolves, and an Animagus
We've got more freaks than downtown Vegas
Working out of Grimmauld Place
And if Black and I don't come to blows
Over cracks about my hair and nose
Then I'm sure that we'll put Voldie in his place
Well I'm teaching Potter privately
To conceal his thoughts from the enemy
I'm a strong Occlumens
And on that victory depends
So I'm stuck with this ungrateful kid
Whose inner thoughts must be kept hid
Or else he'll go like his father did
The day the Potters died.
I just keep thinking….
Bye bye, you bad Voldemort guy
I'm a traitor, I know later
You'll make sure that I die
But until that time, I've promised Albus I'll try
To help beat you by becoming a spy
Beat you by becoming a spy
We've got Tonks, Moody and Shacklebot
Against Malfoy, Goyle, Crabbe and Nott
But those dark wizards have no chance
Cause you see, Dumbledore is on our side
And he makes the Dark Lord run and hide
And without him, all his thugs will wet their pants
But while dueling at the Ministry
How the Order was so shocked when we
Lost one in the attack
When that veil claimed Sirius Black.
And as he gasped and fell away
It reminded us, to our dismay
Of how helpless we felt on that day
The day the Potters died
And I keep thinking,
Bye bye, you bad Voldemort guy
I'm a traitor, I know later
You'll make sure that I die
But until that time, I've promised Albus I'll try
To help beat you by becoming a spy
Beat you by becoming a spy
VERSE SIX
The Side of Light all mourned with us
When Bellatrix killed Sirius
And now The Order's one man less
Molly, Tonks and Granger cried
And Lupin too, but he denied.
Cause it makes him feel as if he's weak, I guess.
And though I loathed that cocky git
For many years…I must admit
Even I feel sorrow
It could be me tomorrow
Three victims of a dark attack
Were Lily, James and Sirius Black
I find all my thoughts drifting back to
The day the Potters died.
Well bye bye, you bad Voldemort guy
I'm a traitor, I know later
You'll make sure that I die
But until that time, I've promised Albus I'll try
To help beat you by becoming a spy
Beat you by becoming a spy
Bye bye, you bad Voldemort guy
I'm a traitor, I know later
You'll make sure that I die
But until that time, I've promised Albus I'll try
To help beat you by becoming a spy