AN: I haven't written a fanfic in years, not since I was in high school. Now I'm in grad school with a job, and I never thought I'd get back into this stuff. I read the Twilight series this summer, mostly to see what the hype was all about. I must say, I did not enjoy being in Bella's mind to write this – but basically I wanted to give my favorite character, Jake, a little gift of a scene. Needless to say, I am not Meyer, and these characters are all hers for better or for worse.

….

I was terrified. I was nervous. I blamed myself for the coming battle and risk to those I loved. Lying in that tent with Edward, I kept thinking about how all of this was my fault. If only I wasn't so klutzy. If only I didn't smell so good. If only I hadn't gotten involved in Edward's family and life.

But could I bring myself to regret that? The way I saw it, everyone would be better off not knowing or caring about me. Then the Cullens wouldn't be defending me from Victoria and her newborns, and the werewolves wouldn't be beset with numerous vampires on their lands. I shook at the thought of anyone getting hurt tomorrow. Afterall, Victoria's one and only purpose in coming here tomorrow was to find, torture, and kill me.

Revenge for James, because Edward had killed him to protect me. James had only gone after me because Edward was so protective. Edward was protective because I was too tempting as vampire bait.

I didn't question whether or not Edward loved me anymore; after he returned with me from Italy, I understood his motivations in leaving after my birthday. He truly did love me to a ridiculous degree, whether I deserved it or not. I know that he would (and did) argue that all of this was worth it just to keep me alive and safe.

Even when I didn't want to be alive. I wanted him to kill me, make me like him. Beautiful forever, young forever, and with him forever. Edward kept insisting my life was too important to be thrown away on immortality – To him, vampirism was death. To me, it was everlasting life.

Last night when we were in his room together, alone, in that huge bed, I begged him to give me the one thing I wanted out of this mortal life. I wanted his passion, his physical love, something I had never been able to enjoy before. I knew that he had been nervous about injuring me, he even demonstrated how easily he could crush my bones. But I'm a teenager who has never been able to go further than kissing, and I wanted to explore the unknown territory of sexuality with the one I loved.

His rejection hurt more than I let him see. I knew that he wasn't disgusted by me, but I couldn't help but feel a little offended. Irrationally, I was afraid he thought I was a hussy for offering myself. He wouldn't try anything without a ring, and I know that if a girl behaved the way I did in his time, a near century ago, she'd be labeled as fast and loose.

The rejection also helped me realize something that I had never really considered before; Edward lusted after my blood more than he lusted after me. Given the guilt-free choice of drinking my blood or making love with me, he would always choose the former. It wasn't a sentiment that I could fully understand. My love didn't include bloodlust, only the basic, normal, healthy kind of lust that came from wanting to be closer to my boyfriend. The thought unsettled me, and while Edward certainly knew I was peeved about him forcing me into a teenage engagement, I doubt he caught all the nuances of the conversation and my reactions.

I was engaged. I shied from the thought, cringed as my stomach turned. Whether or not I loved Edward and wanted eternity with him, I did not want marriage. Especially as a teenager. I made it clear it was not what I wanted, but it made no difference to him. I felt like last night was all about what Edward wanted. I was frustrated in my attempts to achieve happiness last night and bent to his will.

The more I remembered it, the angrier I got. I forgot my guilt and panic and just concentrated on my resentment of Edward. I still felt my love for him deep down, but right now I really didn't like him. In fact, I was pretty annoyed.

Shivering in the tent, I stared over at my marble Adonis in the corner, leaning away from me in an effort to keep me warm. It wasn't working, and we both knew it, but he wanted to be near me, and initially I had begged him to stay. It was comforting at first to have him there after yet another disconcerting conversation with Jacob. But now, as my thoughts reviewed the events of my unfortunate engagement, I really just wanted some time alone to think. It seems like I always had one of the two around me at all times, and the only moments I had to myself were my "human moments" when I performed the basic necessities of survival. Edward thought those moments were adorable and quaint.

Right now I wanted Edward to just leave for a few minutes, to give me some time to huff and puff and pout about him without him witnessing it. If I were to so much as quiver a lip right now he'd be probing me with questions and concerns, and that's not what I wanted.

"E-e-edwa-a-ard" I chattered out, trying to ignore the cold. I was desperately searching for a way to ask him to leave without him getting distressed.

"Yes, Love?" He asked, concern writ upon his face, amber eyes sweeping over me. His head leaned closer by a few inches from across the tent.

"It's so c-c-c-cold…" That was the best I could do. I was stalling for time to think.

"I'm so sorry. I know I can't be making it any better for you right now. I wish I could hold you and keep you warm. Is there anything I can do to improve the situation?"

Now was the time for me to tell him to get the hell out. But I couldn't do it. I didn't want to see him hurt, no matter how unhappy I was with his actions. "I d-d-d-don't know. I j-j-just need to b-be warmer-r-r…"

His face twisted as he blamed himself for the weather. Then his brow cleared, and his eyes went distant for a few moments. I recognized the look; he was reading a mind.

"Jake believes he has a solution to the problem. He is about to phase to human form and join us."

I frowned as I shivered, not understanding what I had missed. Quickly Edward moved to the flap of the tent and poked his head out, addressing Jake, I assumed. I could barely hear over the roar of the wind, but I think I heard him say "Send him in." Edward's voice was flat and hard, and I hadn't heard Jake's voice at all.

Edward leaned towards me, moving up to where my eyes peeked out from my coat, scarf, blankets and sleeping bag. A wave of icy air accompanied him. I did my best not to shiver even more and move away. He didn't touch me, but I could tell he wanted to as he moved a finger near my brow, tracing its shape in the air. He looked troubled, but determined.

"Bella, Love, I think my presence in this tent is only making the temperature drop more than necessary, which may cause you harm. I'm going to leave the tent and stay outside for awhile. Just as well; I doubt there will be any room in here for me anyways. But at least you'll be warm, and protected."

Chilled as I was, all I could manage was a shaky nod and a sound of affirmation. Edward took one last look at me, while I stared at him, waiting for him to give me some space. So quickly I barely saw it, he darted out of the tent, letting in as little air as possible.

Barely two seconds passed before the flap of the tent was nudged aside and a large form began to invade the tiny space. I was startled by the appearance, because it was not what I expected at all. I had expected Jake to immediately take Edward's place with a cocky smile. Instead I was greeted with a completely different face inside the tent.