Chapter One: Changes
I was in agony. The pain had burned through me, leaving a poisonous sensation. My mind had clouded over, except for one thought: death. It would be a welcome reprieve from this unbearable torture. I had curled into a tight, defensive ball, my knees tucked under my chin, my hands locked firmly around my whole body. Looking around, I saw an unfamiliar room, lying in gloom, and when I had woken here to this shocking pain alone I had immediately hunched up against a wall.
The only door in the room opened, and a slight boy of about seventeen glided in, closing the door behind him with only the smallest of clicks. "Hello. My name is Edward Cullen; I am like you." His voice was soft yet clipped, and smoother than caramel. I nodded wordlessly, unable to find words through the blur of the pain. "You do not speak, yet I know you must be feeling intense, excruciating pain. Why – how do you stay silent?" I still couldn't speak, so I simply shook my head. The boy stood for a while, but I couldn't pull my gaze up from the floor to look at him. Eventually he nodded to himself and opened the door to go.
"Don't go!" I cried, suddenly finding my voice. At this, Edward stopped, halfway out the door, and turned slowly to face me. I finally tugged my eyes up to meet his, and was shocked. I was shocked by the ice white skin, by the molten gold eyes, by the look of concern etched into his perfect, marble features. I was shocked because I knew I would be like him soon. "Please," I pleaded softly. It was too quiet to be heard by any human, but he nodded, smiling a crooked smile, and sat down next to me.
"How much longer?" I asked, disappointed to hear how shaky my voice was. Edward hadn't stopped staring at me, and yet he took a while to answer, as though chewing over his thoughts. "Carlisle says you should recover soon; the next few hours, probably. He is a doctor, and my foster father. He will provide a home for you too, should you wish. But he has told me to warn you…that you will be very different after the…change is complete." I wanted to roll my eyes teasingly, but I couldn't block out the pain and do that at the same time. Instead I simply waited for him to continue, as I knew he would.
"You will be pale as I am, incredibly strong, freakishly fast…your senses of hearing and smell will heighten…but…you will thirst for blood. It may take years for this carnal hunger to subside, but it will. We – the seven of us who live here – we call ourselves 'vegetarians'; we do not drink the blood of humans, but rather that of animals. It does not satiate the thirst, but we feel it is the best way." I nodded, my sights fixed on Edward. I couldn't move my eyes – even if I wanted to. His cute, lopsided smile had vanished as he spoke, replaced by a concerned frown. "Let Carlisle give you some pain medication, please," he commanded softly, but I shook my head.
"This pain…I think it shows that…even if I'm not human…I'm still a person. I…don't want to lose that," I breathed, feeling very small and insignificant all of a sudden. Edward nodded warily. "I understand what you mean." He reached out his arm gently, hesitantly, carefully, before finally folding my hands into his. He seemed to understand that I didn't want to talk anymore, and simply sat with me in silence for a while. The pain didn't lessen at all, but it also seemed to matter less to me. I found it more important that this wonderful creature was sitting beside me, and I knew that this was what lay ahead for me.
"Edward is taking good care of you, I see," came another new voice, and I looked up, shocked, to see a man – also chalky white – who I would place in his late twenties. "My name is Carlisle, I'm a doctor. Edward is my foster son, along with four others. I would be honoured if you would make it six, but we can discuss that later. We're currently living in Alaska." Then he added (directed more at Edward than me), "I haven't told Esme yet, you know how excited she would get." Edward nodded quickly, allowing Carlisle one glance before his mesmerizing gaze returned to my face.
Carlisle stayed for a while, watching me silently. I was in too much pain to feel embarrassed or shy at the attention, but I think he could tell I felt a little uncomfortable with his staring. Finally he left, and I breathed a sigh of relief. "What's the matter?" Edward asked quickly, "Should I call Carlisle back?" His voice was low and concerned, but he didn't relax when I shook my head. He didn't calm down until I explained. "No, I just get…shy. And then…I embarrass myself…" Edward chuckled softly. "So rather than worrying about us being vampires, you worry about embarrassing yourself…" he said, so quietly that I thought he was simply wondering to himself.
"So…why are you…this way?" I asked, between short bursts of breath. Edward looked at the floor, and I was worried that I had upset him, but he soon returned his comforting stare to my face. "I was seventeen years old, dying of the Spanish Influenza. Carlisle found me just as I was slipping away, and…changed me. He doesn't do it to anyone that has another choice; he wouldn't doom someone to this eternal hell if there was another alternative." I nodded gently, and Edward reached out slowly with his free hand. Resisting the urge to back away from his approaching fingers, I concentrated instead on trying to breathe rhythmically. He slid his cool hand down my cheek, his eyes wandering over my face.
"You…" He seemed to be about to ask something, but he changed his mind at the last minute. "What happened that you had to be changed?" I narrowed my eyes as I concentrated, trying to remember. "I…I…don't know." Edward continued to stare curiously, so I elaborated slightly. "I don't remember. The last thing…I was fine…at home, in bed…I wasn't dying…I was falling asleep…then I woke up here, feeling…this…fire." That response still didn't seem to satisfy Edward, but there was nothing more for me to say. I simply held his gaze until he nodded.
The door opened again, and someone else stepped into the room. I spared them a glance, and then was forced to look back again. This boy was perhaps eighteen, and his honey blonde hair was styled into a controlled mess. His large, amber eyes were probing as they ran over Edward and me, and when he finally spoke his voice was softer than I expected. "Carlisle said I should perhaps help. You are refusing any pain medication?" I nodded unsurely, confused to his words. He answered me before I could ask, though. "I…some vampires have a 'gift' – a special talent. Edward can read minds; Alice can see the future. I can…affect people's emotions. Calm them down, cheer them up, you know. That sort of idea." He knelt down next to me, and I found him just as intriguing as Edward.
"You haven't told her your name yet," Edward said, his voice as muted as before, "This is Jasper." I smiled and nodded at the newcomer, Jasper, who continued to look at me. If I still could, I knew I must be blushing furiously. But as soon as I thought that, a strange calming sensation spread through me. "W-what?" I stammered, but nobody answered me. I assumed it was Jasper's 'talent', and instead focused on the conversation Edward and Jasper were now having. "She's nearly finished. Her blood doesn't smell human anymore, and her heart has slowed massively," Jasper breathed harshly, and Edward nodded in agreement. "Oh thank god," I said, relieved. "I don't think I could handle much more of this." I laughed lightly, but stopped as soon as both vampires stared at me, their eyes wide.
I looked from Edward to Jasper and back again repeatedly. "What?" I asked as they continued to look at me. They still stayed silent, so I repeated it again, more urgently. Edward glanced suspiciously at Jasper before finally answering, "Nothing." I was about to protest at the unsatisfactory answer, but Carlisle entered the room again, cutting me off and catching everybody's attention. "Hey, I just wanted to check up on you again. I heard what Jasper said and figured I should just be nearby, in case of any complications." I nodded at him, smiling gratefully. That was when I noticed that someone else had slipped in discreetly behind him. It was a short girl, a little older than me, with cropped black hair. She was pointedly thin and quite short, her tawny eyes fixed on me.
"How are you?" Carlisle asked me, and I dragged my eyes away from the newcomer to answer him. "Um…actually, it's just stopped hurting now," I said anxiously, now able to feel shy and embarrassed. As I answered Carlisle, I realised my words were true, and I could feel my previously immobile limbs again. Edward nodded at me, smiling, and I stood up smoothly, twisting and flexing my arms and legs unsurely. Each movement seemed immediate, as though it took no time at all. After checking every part of my body was functioning properly, I flashed a wide grin at everyone. The girl at the door caught my eyes again.
She noticed me looking curiously and beamed back. "I'm Alice," she announced, darting over to me. "Oh," I recalled, "Jasper said you can…see the future?" My words were unsure and even as I spoke them my head swivelled back to Jasper for confirmation. He nodded, smiling slightly. Alice sighed, but when I turned back to look at her again, she had vanished. I turned around to ask somebody, and saw her standing with Jasper, who had slipped his arm around her waist comfortably. "So the only thing you've told her about your wife is my stupid talent! Is that the only thing you love about me?" she teased, looking lovingly at him.
"Would you like to meet Esme now?" Edward asked quietly, "She's the mother of this 'family', and I'm sure she'll be pleased to meet you. It's been very difficult to keep you a secret, but she would have fretted and worried otherwise." I looked at him, nodding slightly, my eyes wide. Edward smiled again, reassuringly, and glided over to the door, holding open for me. I thanked him softly and took a nervous step forward. I didn't remember life before today, so every action needed remembering. But everything seemed to come naturally to me. My steps may have been wary in my mind, but I could tell that I was moving with an unnatural grace.
Edward walked slowly out of the room, down an airy hallway and descended a wide staircase as I hovered behind him, shadowing every step. At the foot of the stairs, a vast, light room stretched out lazily. It was very clean and white and sharp, but for two figures sitting on a couch, laughing gently. Edward cleared his throat to announce our presence, and one of the people jumped up and bounded over. He was massive! Thick muscles flexed even while he was still, and his head seemed tiny in comparison with his thick neck. "I'm Emmett," he said loudly, leaning over me. I nodded shyly, but before I could stammer out my name in response, the other person had appeared at his side.
"Come on Emmett, let's go," the girl said. I noticed she was stunningly beautiful. She was tall and willowy, with graceful blonde hair waving down her back. "Rosalie, you haven't introduced yourself to the newbie yet!" Emmett boomed cheerfully, but after a disapproving look from the blonde he grinned once more and disappeared up the stairs with her. "Don't worry about Rose, she's just…well, I'd love to say she's shy, but she's just weird around new people." The sound of Alice's voice surprised me and I turned around to see everyone else grouped behind me and Edward. I hadn't noticed them follow us from upstairs.
I shrugged. "Don't worry about it. Introductions make me nervous," I chuckled in an attempt to lighten the mood. "And she is pretty intimidating…" Alice nodded understandingly. "So do you want to meet Esme then, or do you want to leave it until later?" Edward asked, enveloping my hand in his, his voice meltingly warm. I chewed my lip a bit, deliberating, but finally decided to say, "Yeah, I can do it now. We shouldn't keep it a secret anymore." Everyone smiled encouragingly, and Edward called "Esme?" softly.
A woman, slightly taller than Alice, who looked as though she was in her late twenties, peered in through the archway from the kitchen. She was just as stunning as the rest of them, but she was less angular, strangely softer. It made her look friendlier and more approachable – as did the warm smile playing easily over her face. That smile didn't falter as she looked curiously over at me, and flashed over to Carlisle's side. "So who's this then?" Carlisle looked at her, the harsh angles of his face softening as he explained in a whisper. I figured he didn't want to upset me by being blunt.
Esme followed Carlisle's story carefully, nodding occasionally, before looking back up at me. "So…I don't want to pressure you. But…would you care to stay with us? Would you like to join our family?" Esme asked hesitantly, as though concerned I would be scared. I wouldn't be frightened by anything they said now; because I didn't remember any normality before now, I couldn't realise that this was strange. Looking around, every face in the room was smiling gently at me. I didn't remember any family before now. I didn't remember any home. But I knew, instinctively, that these people had accepted me in a way that wasn't usual. I knew that I could love them, and they could love me, too. I looked at each welcoming face, contemplating her question, before answering carefully. "I would love to." My words were quiet, but I knew everyone would hear me.
Esme threw her strong arms around me, and I was hard pushed to contain my happiness as I hugged her back. She released me, grinning yet more widely. I took one more look at the faces of the gathered group of people like me…vampires…family.
Chapter Two: Rules
"The Volturi!" I looked up in mild confusion at Alice's gasp. Jasper was already curling around her protectively while her eyes flickered between the present and the future. "What's happening, Alice?" Jasper asked urgently. Beside me, Edward inhaled in one short, harsh breath that he held indefinitely while he watched Alice's vision with her. Meanwhile Rosalie floated down the stairs with Emmett in tow, giggling as she walked. "What's going on?" she asked hesitantly once she reached the bottom step and took in the tense atmosphere. Esme glanced at Carlisle, who shrugged at Rosalie from the sofa.
Alice jumped back into the living room with a shudder and then turned her wide tawny eyes to my face. "They're coming," she whispered, but I assumed it was aimed at Jasper from the way his eyes narrowed in understanding. "The Volturi have been informed that we created a newborn and they've come to ensure that she isn't dangerous," Edward explained flatly. I watched the same look of horror close each of the Cullens' faces and shivered nervously.
"Don't worry, Mia." Edward was gazing at me intently. I could feel him probing my thoughts and felt embarrassed by the intrusion. I wrapped my arms around my torso uncomfortably and tried to block him out. The way they had said the word Volturi, the way everyone had been horrified in response to Alice's vision… "Really, they aren't going to hurt you," Edward insisted. "They'll just come for a customary check."
"It's unusual, though," Carlisle mused, "They wouldn't normally travel all this way simply because of one newborn." I knew for certain that everyone was able to distinguish the sinister undertone, but nobody said anything. Alice took a deep rattling breath as she searched through the future again before giving the explanation we were waiting on. "There have been problems recently; a population explosion. Too many newborns are being created and they want to cut down by checking that they're all of benefit to society. Marcus is opposed to the plan, but he can't stop them."
"Of benefit to society?" I echoed unsurely. Alice nodded slowly, concentrating briefly on the future. "It isn't a big deal; they just remove the newborns who are likely to cause them trouble – which they'll discover you won't. You're perfectly safe." I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "But your visions are subjective, right? What if they change their mind? Or what if…" Edward gave a soft 'Oh'. "You aren't worried about yourself." There was that prickling sensation again; the feeling I got when he rifled through my head. "Edward," Jasper said bluntly, "You're making her uncomfortable. She doesn't like you reading her mind."
Edward peered at me curiously. "Can you feel me reading your mind?" I looked from his eyes to Jasper's, which were still fixed on me. "Um, yes…is that not normal?" Everybody was looking at me now, and I hunched my shoulders and ducked my chin. "Sorry," Jasper said quietly, reaching out softly with his talent. I felt that familiar sense that he was suppressing my nerves and replacing the void with warm fuzziness. "Thanks," I said gratefully, and stood up from where I had been sat on the floor with my limbs knotted together. "If you don't mind, I'm going to my room," I said. I was still unused to calling it 'my room'; it didn't quite feel like I belonged here yet. Glancing around as though waiting for permission, I started to climb the stairs when nobody protested. Everyone's eyes were on me, and as soon as I was out of sight they all started to talk at once.
"I'm worried about her," Rosalie was quick to say. Despite our first meeting, she had soon warmed to me. "Yeah, me too," Alice agreed; she was very keen on dressing me up every day – I was her newest toy. "She does seem the sort to take things onto herself and try to deal with them," Carlisle mused. He was fascinated more by my past than anything: I still couldn't remember where I came from. "Edward, dear, go and talk to her," Esme said, her motherly voice sounding very concerned. I felt a twinge of guilt when I imagined her round face contorting in worry. "I don't think it's me she wants," Edward said strangely, his voice sounding strangled. My brain prickled again while Emmett guffawed. "Gutted, bro. So who's the newbie after?" Edward growled softly (at Emmett, I prayed) before he replied simply, "Jasper."
"Oh," Jasper said gently. I heard him hit the bottom step and flashed into my bedroom – ah, that speed! To be able to move without even wasting a millisecond! I had just flung myself onto the bed when a polite knock on the door alerted me to Jasper's arrival – at least I hoped it was Jasper. "Yes?" I asked, trying to sound surprised. The door opened and Jasper's head appeared in the crack. "May I come in?" he asked courteously. "Sure," I gushed, sitting up and flapping my hands at him. He smiled and slipped in, pushing the door shut behind him.
"I wouldn't worry about the Volturi," Jasper began to console me. I rubbed my forehead, and when I moved my hand away he was perched on the edge of my bed, peering at me. "It isn't exactly the Volturi I'm worried about," I said in a small voice. "Then what are you so concerned about?" I thought about it a little more. "I guess…well, I've only just come here, right? And I'm already screwing up your lives; causing trouble for everybody. It isn't my place to…what if one of you gets hurt? It will be all my fault." I plucked at a corner of my pillow agitatedly.
Jasper snorted quietly and sidled closer, placing one hand gently on my shoulder. "They aren't going to hurt us. Like Alice said, they just want to make sure that you're under control and aren't going to share our secret. She doesn't foresee any problems." I nodded. "But her visions are subjective," I said again. Jasper shrugged. "The Volturi know better than to start a fight with us when there is no reason; with a coven as large as ours at least one would survive and spread the word." Seeing that his words still weren't helping me feel any better, Jasper sighed. "What else are you worried about?"
"I'm causing too much inconvenience…what if…well…I don't want to leave you," I said ashamedly, "I know that's a selfish thing to say, but…you guys are…" Jasper smiled. "Like a family," he finished. I closed my eyes and chewed on my solid lip. Then I felt Jasper fold his arms around me, and I rested my head on his chest while he banished my moroseness. "Edward said you didn't want him to come and talk to you. He said you wanted me. May I ask why?" he said quietly. "I didn't even realise that I did," I whispered. "But I guess now that I know…well, I'm still not sure."
Jasper didn't say anything for a while; he simply rocked me gently and placed his chin on top of my hair. "When are they coming?" I asked, desperate to know. "I'm not sure," he replied, "I didn't ask Alice." Alice must have been listening to our conversation, because following that she called up the stairs, "Three days." I chuckled. "Thanks," I said in a normal voice, certain that she would hear. "You don't ever have to leave, Mia," Jasper said softly. "You will always have a home with us." I nodded jerkily and wound my arms around his waist tightly.
"So what's the plan?" I asked in a voice of forced brightness when Jasper and I finally rejoined the others. Alice was sitting at the dining table sifting through various visions again, and Edward sat watching them with her. Carlisle looked deep in thought, and Jasper immediately walked over and started talking to him. Their conversation was hurried and held in low, rough voices. "Are you feeling better, Mia?" Rosalie asked, gliding over and touching my elbow briefly. I nodded and squeezed out a smile. "Yes thank you; sorry to have worried you all." Esme embraced me gently, her eyes wide.
Alice stood up and skipped over to me. On her way she was joined by Jasper, who stayed next to her at all times, and Carlisle, who followed Alice over to us and then went to Esme. Edward trailed behind, and Emmett noticed our grouping and dragged himself off the sofa to listen. "Aro and Marcus are coming. They'll bring Renata, Demetri, Alec and Jane but the rest will stay to protect Volterra. So we know that they aren't looking for a fight; the numbers are too close and they wouldn't risk losing any of their members. It's more likely that they'll want to know if Mia has a gift to try and recruit her."
I looked around in confusion. "Recruit me? But I live with you guys. Don't I? Do I have to leave or something?" Esme wrapped her fingers around my forearm reassuringly. "No, you don't have to go. Like I said, you don't ever have to leave," Jasper reminded me quietly from Alice's shoulder. "Besides, we don't know that you have a gift," Carlisle said thoughtfully, his brow furrowing in concentration. Rosalie looked tense, but Emmett rubbed her shoulders comfortingly and she took his hand seeming slightly calmer. They all seemed like parts of a whole; different limbs from the same body. And I didn't fit in with that. "Yes you do," Edward murmured, but I wasn't convinced. I could tell he was about to carry on, but Alice interrupted with a panicked choking noise.
"They've changed their plans," she coughed. Her eyebrows knitted together and she clutched tightly at Jasper's hand while she distanced herself again. "They were going to wait three days to let the situation develop slightly, but then they changed their minds – for no reason at all!" Everyone's eyes were on Alice as she came back, desperately trying to convey her alarm but seemingly unable to speak. Instantly everybody crowded around her, plaguing her with fast questions, but Edward was the one who answered them. "They're on their way now," he said in a flat monotone. "The plane's leaving in ten minutes." The Cullens' eyes widened, perfectly in sync, and I shivered.
"I'll leave," I offered, "I'll go now so that they won't bother you. You won't be troubled by me anymore, I promise." A low growl rumbled around the coven, and Esme was the first to protest. "No, no, you mustn't!" she insisted, "You can't leave us." I shrugged hopelessly. "I don't want to drag any more trouble onto your doorstep." Esme was overflowing with garbled disagreements, but everyone else was silent – until Carlisle contradicted me in his cool voice. "Even if you leave now, they'll still come to us. They know you're here now, and even if Demetri knows you've left then they'll still come to talk to us. They'll be angry that we let a newborn just leave us, in case you then expose vampires to the humans." I shook my head stubbornly, urgently trying to think of a way to keep them all safe, but I knew I had lost. Giving up at last, I sighed and hung my head. "Six hours," Alice said, "They took a private jet." Again a wave of panic rippled through the house, but I was largely unaware of the others now.
Despite Alice's conviction that the Volturi were not angling for a fight, everybody seemed tense. A deep depression had settled over the airy Alaskan house, and for once Jasper was doing nothing to dispel it. The tension was unbearably tight and I had to escape outside. I stood out in the back garden, watching delicate snow flakes flutter down and join the blanket of white beneath my feet. But before long I was disturbed by that odd feeling again. "Edward, you're in my head again aren't you?" He chuckled softly and rested his hands on my shoulders. "Sorry," he apologised genuinely, "I forget that you can feel it. You're the first. I wonder why that is…Carlisle thinks it may have something to do with your gift, if you have one."
I was too edgy for small talk and couldn't bring myself to reply, so Edward moved around me and peered down into my face. "Come inside," he requested softly. I shook my head morosely. "I…feel too guilty when I see everyone looking like that. They're all so anxious and it's my fault." Edward's fingers constricted momentarily before he let his hands drop to his sides. "I would insist that it isn't your fault if I thought you would ever believe me. You're too stubborn, though. Either way, you ought to come inside. You've been out here for three hours, so we only have two hours and Esme wants us all to be together." I made no move to walk inside but I also didn't argue, so Edward took my hand and led me inside, entwining our fingers carefully.
Nobody looked up when we re-entered the house. They were all in pairs; Esme and Carlisle; Rosalie and Emmett; Alice and Jasper. Each couple sat silently, holding hands, gazing into each others' eyes. The silence was crushing. Edward was listening to my thoughts as usual and draped one arm over my shoulders, but even human contact could not soothe me anymore. The vampires would descend in two hours.
Every Cullen stayed silent for an hour. I never tired of standing; it was just as comfortable as if I were sitting. It was Alice's lilting voice that finally broke the quiet when she said, "We should go now." I wondered where we were going, but before I could voice the question Edward was already answering me. "Alice saw us meeting the Volturi in one of the fields leading away from our back garden. We wouldn't want them to come to our home; that memory would ruin the loveliness of this place. And the further from town, the better." I simply blinked in response, and then everyone seemed to move at once. Carlisle held the door for us all to leave for and then Alice led the way, her delicate legs forging a path through the copious snow.
Alice took us to a particular field purposefully and then we stopped to wait. An eerie silence was pressing down on us despite the breeze rustling through the surrounding trees. It had finally stopped snowing, but there was still a thick layer of white everywhere I looked. We all stood in a tight huddle centred around Alice. "Five minutes," she said, and I crossed my arms uncomfortably. Esme reached up to kiss Carlisle, and before long they were all embracing each other tenderly. "Love you, baby," Emmett said to Rosalie, squeezing her fingers as she replied, "I know." She smiled, showing all of her perfect teeth, before returning his affections. Jasper and Alice simply looked at each other lingeringly, until Alice said, "Two minutes."
At the one minute warning, the Cullens fanned out into a long line, with Emmett on one side and Jasper on the opposite. I hovered uncomfortably between Alice and Edward. Carlisle stood forward a little way, obviously our leader. And then a small grouping of black and grey cloaks emerged into the field and made their way forward through the fog brought on by the snow. At the front was the frailest looking vampire, with powdery skin and milky eyes. He commanded my attention and was the first to speak in a powerful, booming voice. "Carlisle, my old friend," he greeted Carlisle, with a sweep of his arms. "Aro," Carlisle replied curtly. "I should have known you wouldn't be surprised by our appearance," Aro said jovially, appraising Alice. "Extraordinary."
"We're here to see the newborn," another said dully, his eyes lingering on me. Aro bounced on his heels. "Ah, Marcus, so quickly you turn to business! But alas, it must be spoken about. As your little future-searching darling will probably have told you, we need to speak to your newest coven member." Aro scanned the line twice before his curious eyes rested on my face, and I quickly dropped my gaze to the ground. Edward nudged me gently, and I took a shuffled step forward, looking up at Aro again nervously.
Aro glided over soundlessly, scrutinising me closely. He walked around me in a full circle and then reached out as though to shake my hand. I looked back for Edward's approval and at his miniscule nod I took his hand. In my head I could see everything Aro looked at and the shock made my breath catch in my throat. "She can see everything you're looking at, Aro, and it makes her uncomfortable," Edward said quietly. Aro blinked in surprise. He stepped back and released my hand, walking back to the line of Volturi who had until now remained still. But a small girl flounced forward, the movement making her toffee curls bounce on her shoulders.
"You oughtn't to interrupt Master Aro whilst he speaks," the girl sang sweetly and smiled beatifically at Edward. He crumpled to the floor with a grunting noise and writhed in agony. I stared in horror before turning back to the girl. "Stop it!" I cried uncontrollably, "Stop it, please!" To my surprise, the girl stopped. "Jane?" said a small boy, blatantly her twin Alec, uncertainly. She glanced at him with arched eyebrows and then took a step towards us. "Don't move," I ordered, trying to inject some venom or danger into my voice. Again she obeyed me; her feet planted firmly onto the ground and she didn't move forward again. I could see her struggling against it, but it had no effect. Her brother started towards her, but I ordered him to, "Stop moving," and again he seemed unable to disobey me.
I looked at Carlisle, hoping for an explanation or at least some reassurance, but he looked as nonplussed as I felt. Once again Aro strode forward, but his expression was gleeful. "It seems that your dear newborn has a knack for leadership," he exclaimed genially. I took an anxious pace back so I was in line with the others and Edward's fingers found their way into my trembling hand. "Don't be afraid, young one," Aro said, smiling down at me. "I'm intrigued by your talents. I wonder how far it extends..?"
"Would you like me to test it out?" I offered sweetly, and he seemed intrigued at the idea. "Ooh, now that would be interesting," he gushed, "Let's see…order me to leave right now. If it does not work, this talk shall continue. However if it does we shall go and you shan't see us again anytime soon. You, Mia, will of course be free to join the Volturi. We welcome you with open and eager arms." I swallowed anxiously. "Thanks for the offer, but I have a home here. Nothing could make me leave." Nervously, I hesitated before saying, "All of you, leave right now." I made the words as loud as possible and they sliced through the cold air sharply. To my utter surprise, every one of the grey cloaks turned and walked away.
We all stood and watched the grey cloud flutter away with murmurs of discontent, but despite their unwillingness not one of them stayed behind. I felt strangely numb, certain I had misunderstood something. And then the Cullens swooped in; I was passed through every pair of arms while cheers and applause erupted all around me. "You got rid of them, Mia!" Edward shouted excitedly. "That was incredible," Rosalie gushed. Esme thanked me profusely and Carlisle mused wonderingly about my new found gift. I heard Jasper say, "You really are amazing," and then my knees folded beneath me. It was impossible to tell whose hands had caught me while I looked around blearily, but it was strange to feel so weak when I was certain that vampires were indestructible.
The same somebody that had caught me carried me quickly back to the house and through the living room, up to my bedroom. I was laid out on my bed and stayed there for several minutes while my vision returned. "Jasper," I breathed, recognising the mess of honeysuckle hair. He smiled at me bracingly and took my hand. "You were so incredible back there," he said quietly. I laughed gently. "I wouldn't go that far," I said with a shrug, and struggled up to a sitting position. "I was really scared," I admitted, smiling shamefacedly. "Let's go downstairs," Jasper suggested, "Esme and Alice are trying to set up a party. Everyone's still on such a high; you've created an amazing emotional climax." I shook my head. "Come on," Jasper chuckled, "Just take credit for it and let everyone fawn over you." I pulled a face for a minute and then nodded, springing off the bed and dragging Jasper downstairs behind me.
Chapter Three: The Past
It took several days for the euphoria at the Volturi incident to fade away – not that days exactly mean much to vampires. Emmett especially seemed to look at me with a new respect; I was no longer the weak link of the family. I thought it was probably that, at least, but perhaps it was the knowledge that if he tried to mock me then I could stop him with just one command.
Carlisle and Edward were keen to experiment with my skill, taking it in turns to be my guinea pigs. Esme offered her services once but the thought of controlling helpless, soft, motherly Esme made me cringe – something Edward was quick to pick up and pass on. Rosalie watched for a while, but she tired quickly and soon dragged Emmett upstairs. He was less eager to stop watching (and mocking) but he was soon lured away with a flirty giggle and a promising look. Alice and Jasper were sitting nearby with their eyes trained on us, but Alice kept flickering between the past and future out of habit.
"I wonder if you could control people's free will..?" Carlisle said quietly. I looked at him tiredly and saw the questioning expectancy in his expression. "She's worn out, Carlisle," Edward hinted. Carlisle nodded. "Shall we make this the last test then?" I nodded wearily. "If you wouldn't mind…" I listened carefully to Carlisle's request and then turned to Edward. "Are you ready for this?" He nodded in reply, so I commanded, "You will fall in love with Carlisle." Edward stood still for a moment, looking from me to Carlisle expectantly. "I've got nothing," he concluded, and I sighed. "Sorry; I'll try again." But Carlisle shook his head. "No, I think you just can't affect peoples' emotions or free will. I didn't entirely think you would be able to." I started to tremble from fatigue, until Jasper pulled me by the hand onto the sofa next to him. "You looked knackered," he said softly in explanation. I smiled gratefully at him and flopped weakly against the back of the sofa.
I could hear Carlisle and Edward murmuring urgently to one another, but I couldn't be bothered to listen in and simply closed my eyes out of habit. "Mia?" I groaned inwardly and looked up at Edward. "There was something I needed to talk to you about. It's kind of important." I nodded and heaved myself back off the sofa before following Edward into the dining room. He closed the door behind us despite the pointlessness of the action; one door wouldn't stop the others from hearing if they wanted to listen.
"It's about your past. Carlisle, Jasper and I have been doing as much research as possible, and we think we've found your old life." I was startled by his bluntness as much as the news and took a deep breath before digesting it at all. "We can't be certain, but everything seems to fit," Edward continued, "A seventeen year old girl with blonde hair and green eyes went missing in the town where we found you and on the same date, so it all seems too much of a coincidence to not be you." I nodded vaguely. "S-so w-what…what?" I stammered. Edward sighed and rested his hands on my shoulders. "You can do whatever you want about it. We – I – just wanted you to have the option available to you." My eyebrows knitted together uncomfortably. "Edward, I'm very grateful to you and I don't want you to think otherwise but I already have a pounding headache so would you please stop trying to read my thoughts? Please?" He nodded graciously and stepped back. "Of course; I'm sorry." I sighed uncomfortably. "I think I need to go upstairs for a while, if you don't mind." I saw him nod once and stumbled upstairs, falling weakly onto my bed.
A knock on the door disturbed my hazy stupor, and as I heaved myself into a sitting position the door opened to reveal Rosalie. She hovered in the doorway until I smiled, and then she glided noiselessly over to the bed. "First of all, I need to apologise," she said quietly, once she had sat down. "I wasn't intending to, but I heard what Edward said to you. And that means I heard your response, too. What are you going to do, if you don't mind my asking?" I shrugged. "I…haven't got a clue. It's all a little overwhelming at the moment. Obviously I'm very grateful to Edward for doing so much research and for giving me the opportunity and all that, but…I mean…well, if I don't remember my old life then what is there to send me back?" Rosalie thought about this for a moment while I kneaded my forehead uncomfortably. "Don't you want to know who you are, though?" she asked nervously, as though she were anxious that she would upset me.
"Well, I don't know…what if I was miserable when I was a human?" I sighed, hunching my shoulders. "But it's more than that…if I was miserable, then nobody would miss me, right? Except if I was happy, then…well then, maybe my disappearance would have upset someone. I think that if nobody was upset that I was gone, I would hate it, but it would be alright because I have you guys now. But if someone was missing me, if somebody was upset that I had gone, what would I then do? I could hardly talk to them or be around them or whatever, but it would be so much harder to leave someone who loved the person I used to be." I was aware that my words were getting faster and faster until they blurred into an incomprehensible mess that made little sense, but I couldn't stop it. I was shaking uncontrollably as Rosalie gave a soft sigh and pulled me into a hug. "You're going though, aren't you?" she asked. Despite her inability to know my thoughts, I agreed with her. She was right; there was no way that I couldn't not go now.
"I'll come with you," Edward insisted when I told him my decision. I shook my head, but he wouldn't let me disagree. "Really, I think I ought to come with you." I wondered briefly if he knew something I didn't, but then it was put out of mind by an onslaught of questions. "When are you going? When are you coming back? Are you coming back?" Esme asked quickly. My eyes widened as I separated her words so that I could answer her. "I don't know when I'm going or coming back, but I will definitely come back. I promise." Carlisle's eyes searched me unfathomably before he pulled Esme backwards. "You should go as soon as possible, to get it done," he said in a low voice. Edward nodded. "I agree; we should leave now."
I jumped. "Now?" Edward nodded again. "Yes, now. Pack a bag and we can go." Panicking, I looked over at Alice for some help. She was busily searching the future again, but came back with a murmur of agreement. "Yes, you're leaving in ten minutes. I'll go and sort out your bags; you have no idea when it comes to clothes." I watched in disbelief as she positively flew up the stairs. She was back in exactly nine minutes and pressed a bag into my arms. Esme gave me another tight hug and kissed my cheek maternally. After a hug from each of the others I was practically forced out of the door by Edward and he didn't stop dragging me until we reached the freeway.
"You look shell shocked," he observed. A stray sarcastic comment passed through my mind, and I could tell from his chuckle that he had picked up on it. "Yes, okay, I know I rushed you a little but I knew that if we stayed then you would change your mind. Come on, let's get going again." I shrugged. "I don't know where to go; you lead, I'll follow." It was effortless to follow Edward, even as we ran at almost light speed. Everything we passed was in perfect focus despite the impossible pace of our feet. We ran for five hours and through countless states before finally slowing.
I looked down the empty street that Edward had led me to. It was pitch black; we had been travelling into the night. We were standing in a deserted alleyway that was framed by high brick walls, but that was all. There was nothing else to mark that I had ever been there at all. "What is this place?" I asked quietly. Edward took my hand and peered at me carefully. "This…is where we found you. You were lying here." He pointed to a specific patch of concrete ground. I knelt down and looked closer, running my fingers over the cracks. My fingers came back covered in blood. It was human blood, but I knew that it was still mine. I looked back up at Edward, whose lips were set in a harsh line. He pulled me up into his arms, and I buried my head into his shoulder. "I don't remember it at all," I whispered hoarsely as he rubbed my back. "Well then we'll keep looking. We'll go around this whole neighbourhood – and the next if we have to." I took a deep breath and stepped back, hitching a fake smile onto my face. "Thanks."
The next stop on Edward's list was the flat he had found as my old address. It was actually the building on one side of the alley. Edward pointed to one name on the buzzer, a 'Maria Samson', that he said was my old name. We started to scale the stairs, but were soon interrupted by a door opening. A tall young man with sandy hair and dark eyes stepped out with a confused expression. "Sorry to have disturbed you," Edward said graciously, "We didn't intend to wake anybody up." The stranger was staring at me intently. I would have felt uncomfortable, but I was staring back. Something about him just seemed a little too familiar…
"We'll just be on our way," Edward said. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me away, but I didn't stop staring at the man until we were out of sight. "I think I knew him," I breathed. "He would agree," Edward murmured, "He thinks you look like a paler, hotter version of that Maria girl who used to live upstairs. And that was a direct quote, just so you know." I frowned, thinking hard. "I think he might have been my landlord," I said wonderingly. Edward stopped us outside a particular door and paused for a minute. "I can't hear any thoughts from inside the apartment, and that guy's already fast asleep," he explained in a hushed voice. He concentrated once more and then forced the door open with a muffled banging noise.
I wandered inside while Edward held the door open. The flat inside was airy and open; one wall was made up mostly of windows and the walls were white. My footsteps clattered uncomfortably on laminate floors as I looked around a minimalistic apartment. "There's nothing and nobody here," I said quietly, "What was I? I didn't even have a pet, and yet now I can't stand to be alone…" Edward watched me silently as I looked around, feeling as though I was nosing around a stranger's life. I poked through the kitchen, finding designer pots and pans; it was carefully styled with fashionable units and stylised photographs. My bedroom was a different story – it was filled with stuff, from tottering piles of books to masses of clothes.
Feeling mildly dazed, I ambled back to Edward. He slipped his hand into mine and stared at me in concern. "Are you feeling okay?" I nodded before shaking my head and finally shrugging. "It's all a bit disorientating," I mumbled, "I keep getting quick little glimpses of my old life, but nothing definite. I loved to cook, but I wasn't particularly good at it. I used to wear all sorts of different clothes and refused to throw anything out. And apparently I read an unbelievable amount of books." Edward motioned towards a small table by my purple fabric sofa. "I hope you don't mind, but that photograph caught my eye. Apparently you were deeply in love." I shook my head and walked over to the photo he showed me.
A silver border framed a black and white photo of a softer version of me with my arms around a man. I could see that for a human he was gorgeous, but now that I was permanently surrounded by immortals, he was fairly nondescript. What surprised me most was the large ring on my left hand ring finger. An immaculately cut diamond winked inconspicuously out of the picture. "Woah," I said, rather inadequately. Edward rubbed my shoulder. "He was called Kieron," I recalled, "We were engaged after knowing each other for a year. I thought I was too young to get married, but it made him happy. I was getting ready to move out of here to live in the house we bought together. Three bedrooms, three baths, and the most amazing kitchen you have ever seen, complete with chrome gadgets and an exposed brick wall." I sighed. "Would you like to go and see him?" Edward offered, but I shook my head. "No. There would be no benefit in doing that. It would just upset me; I'd want to talk to him. Besides…now, looking back…I don't think I ever truly loved him."
We stood in a contemplative silence for a while until Edward inhaled sharply. "Landlord's dreaming about you," he explained, watching the guy's thoughts for a while as his expression grew constantly more disgusted. "That scum," he growled, moving as though he was about to leave the flat. I put a restraining hand on his forearm to hold him back as a low, rumbling roar tore out of his chest. "What," I asked urgently, "What's the matter?" He looked at me with narrowed eyes and hissed, "It's that landlord. He's scum." I stared at him confusedly until he carried on explaining. "He was very attracted to you, let's say. He was jealous of your boyfriend, so he would hit on you every so often. But that night he got very drunk and cornered you on your way home. He forced you down the alleyway and tried to have sex with you. You refused, so he tried to force himself on you, but you stopped him. As you ran away, he shot you. And that's why you had to be changed into a vampire. No wonder he was so surprised to see you…" I blinked blankly as his chest rumbled again. As it slowly dawned on me, I felt nauseated. Flashes of the event ran through my head and Edward watched them with me when I started to clutch at him helplessly.
"I want to be sick," I gasped. Edward just held me tighter as he informed me, "You can't throw up." I nodded and tried to pull myself together, pulling in deep breaths of air despite the pointlessness of the action. "Let's go," I pleaded, "I want to leave now, please." Edward nodded and we left the flat, taking a stack of my books with us. I was about to start running when I glimpsed the alleyway opening again. "Hang on," I murmured, walking closer. Edward listened as I thought, 'If I remembered that other stuff then maybe I'll remember this now', and agreed. Silently I wandered closer to the almost nonexistent pool of blood and lay down nearby, closing my eyes. "He rolled me onto my front to see if I would live," I said, not to anybody in particular. "Then he figured I would die, and just left me. It was raining. I was waiting to die when Jasper found me. He bit me here and then ran me back to your home. The pain was so excruciating…" I opened my eyes to see Edward peering down. "Is that right?" He nodded, and I pulled myself to my feet. "Okay. We can go now," I said, letting Edward lead the way again as we sprinted back home.
Just outside the house, Edward stopped me. "Why do you like Jasper so much?" he demanded. "I don't want to pry, so I won't read your thoughts, but I want to know." I scuffed my shoe across the pavement and adjusted my bag strap, finally feeling the weight of my books. "Mostly because…well, I think it's because he kind of associates with me. We both feel sort of like outsiders, so he's been working really hard to make me fit in. And obviously he's the one who saved me, so I guess that helps." Edward shook his head. "But you didn't know that until just a few hours ago." I shrugged uselessly. "It's one of those subconscious things, you know?" He sighed and opened the front door. "Fine. But I won't give up – just so you're aware." I stared after him for a minute, dumbfounded, and then hurried inside, right into another one of Esme's cursory hugs.
Chapter Four: Love
"Hey, Mia, are you okay?" I looked up, surprised. "Huh?" I said eloquently, "Oh, right, erm, yeah. Sorry." Rosalie was staring at me with a crease in her brow. Not just her, either; everyone was peering at me in concern. So I assumed Edward had explained everything to the others. "Mia, I know this sounds ridiculously clichéd, but I really do understand what you're going through. And I know how you must be feeling. So…if you want to talk or something, then you can come to me." I smiled at her, trying desperately to inject some warmth. "Thanks Rose, but I'm okay. You don't have to worry about me. I'm just going to go upstairs, though." Carlisle called after me, "Mia? I don't think I've told you yet, but we're moving next week. To a small town called Forks, in Washington."
I walked away from the others' anxious stares and up the stairs. They started talking about me again, but I couldn't listen. Instead I just kept going and headed straight into my room. I ran to the window, throwing it open and gasping in deep gulps of the cool morning air. "Knock, knock," said a soft voice from behind me. I jumped in surprise and span around, surprised to see a nervous-looking Jasper hovering in the open doorway. "Sorry," he said, "I figured you meant to close the door, but…well, the others said I ought to come and talk to you." I chuckled quietly and fell into the armchair in my room. "Thanks, but I don't need a babysitter." Jasper put his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor. "I know that. That isn't entirely why I'm here. I just…I…well; I wanted to talk to you."
"Oh. Okay," I said, a little confused, "What did you want to talk about?" Jasper shrugged and shuffled slightly closer. "…I spoke to Edward," he said eventually, still being careful not to look at me. "Um," I said unsurely. "Yeah. He seems pretty upset. He told me you remembered everything, and that you found out what happened with your landlord. He got really angry about that – not that he showed it, of course. You know…he's falling in love with you." I yelped and jumped to my feet. "What?" Jasper shrugged. "He hasn't told anyone. I can just feel it, you know? But it's making him hurt." I bit my lip. "You mean I'm making him hurt," I corrected him, and he made a non-committal noise in response.
Jasper flopped into my recently vacated seat and rubbed his head. "All his negative feelings are giving me a headache," he breathed. I folded my arms around my torso and sighed. "I am really sorry," I said. Jasper took my hand and pulled me onto the arm of the chair before tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Don't worry; it isn't your fault. And Edward doesn't blame you, either. He knows more than anyone that you don't choose who you fall in love with." I swallowed and buried my head in my one free hand until Jasper tugged on my hand to pull me into his lap. "I'm so sorry," I whispered into his chest, feeling the choking sensation that usually accompanied tears.
"You shouldn't feel so guilty, Mia," Jasper said in a gentle voice as he stroked my hair with a careful hand. I shrugged. "I'm not sure I really have a choice in it." I sighed again and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Jasper, can I ask you something?" He chuckled quietly. "Sure, go for it." I tried to work out my wording so that I asked it sensitively before saying, "How did you manage to not kill me? I know it's an odd question, but you said that you don't have very much control over your bloodlust, so…well, when you bit me, how did you stop?" Jasper's hand froze and I worried that I had overstepped the line, but he must have just been contemplating his answer because he soon responded, "It was difficult. But I guess that…I can't be sure, obviously. But Carlisle's so compassionate, so when I went to bite you it was for your survival. And then I tasted your blood, and realised I had underestimated my instincts again. It did take a lot of effort, but…you opened your eyes. You looked at me and I could see that you trusted me unabatedly. I saw your humanity, your warmth, and that helped me regain mine."
I nestled closer to him. "Thank you. I'm very glad to have had this life and these opportunities. So…thanks." Jasper shrugged. "Can I get rid of your negative emotions now then?" he asked, and I nodded. His muscles tensed for a moment and then a fizzy haze infiltrated my mind, dispelling my bad emotions and cleansing my thoughts. "Is that..?" I looked at Jasper and saw the concerned confusion in his expression before my eyes grew wide. "Your love…I haven't noticed it before…I…" I blinked rapidly as Jasper stammered out incoherent sentences.
"You're in love with Jasper." That simple comment, uttered in a completely emotionless voice, sent a chill shivering down my spine. I pulled my eyes from Jasper's to look at Edward, who was standing at my door and sifting through my thoughts. He lingered on some things, I could feel it, but I didn't know which memories caused him the most pain. "It's strange," I heard myself say; "I didn't know that. It's a weird feeling when you're told that you're in love by two other people and they know for certain that it's true. I hadn't realised I was in love. Maybe I wouldn't have if you two didn't tell me." I slid off Jasper's lap and stood on trembling legs between the two vampires.
I let my eyes dart from Jasper to Edward for a while before finally whispering, "Edward. Please don't tell anyone else." He looked at me in slight disgust. "I wouldn't do that," he muttered before sloping off. "I hate to have to tell you, but you've broken his heart," Jasper whispered, "I think you probably want to be alone right now, so I'll leave you to it. Stop worrying about everyone else and just sort your thoughts out, okay?" I nodded absently and watched him leave, drinking in his features thirstily.
As Jasper had said, I spent ten minutes gathering my thoughts and sorting out my mind. And then I came to a sudden resolution, and put my plan quickly into action. I was only halfway down the stairs when Alice sprinted over. "You can't," she spluttered. I shrugged. It had briefly slipped my mind that Alice would know my decision as soon as I did, but that couldn't affect anything. "You're making Edward miserable," she said in a voice almost inaudible. I looked directly at her and truthfully said, "I'll hurt him more if I stay. I'm sorry for everything, Alice. I've come to love you like a sister and I'll miss you an intense amount, but you have to move to Forks without me." She began to protest, but the others had overheard and instantly converged on me.
Everyone was fussing over me but Jasper and Edward, who sat on opposite sides of the room with matching expressions of gloom. "I have to," I kept repeating, "I have to let you move on to Forks without me. I'll stay here in Alaska; maybe I'll stay in this house for a while." Esme, especially, was severely opposed to my plan, but I refused to be swayed. All three of the girls were making sobbing noises but I still insisted on leaving and finally managed to force my way out of the front door. I sprinted away and only stopped when I was certain I had travelled at least thirty miles away.
In a secluded spot I dropped my bag and bent at the waist, gripping onto my ribs and fighting back my own sobs. It was only a few moments before I was joined. Gentle fingers prised my hands off my ribcage and pulled me into a fierce hug while I let myself cry at Jasper all over again. "Don't go," he chanted, "don't go, don't go, please don't go." I felt him trembling around me but stumbled backwards. "I have to," I sobbed, "I can't be around you and watch you love Alice. I thought I could, but I can't. I love you too much to stay near you and not love you, but not enough to enjoy your happiness in loving someone else. I love you, Jasper. I love you." His eyes were unusually dark today and they searched over me repeatedly. "I love you, too. Stay with me. Mia, please, stay near me. I love you and I can't lose you." I shook my head sadly. "Don't say that, Jasper. You're in love with Alice and we both know that, so don't lie just to placate me. I love you and you don't love me and I have to leave." I was still crying but my words were just about understandable.
"Mia, I love you." I longed to believe his words, but that was a luxury I couldn't afford. If I accepted that then I would have to either leave the first man I truly loved knowing that he loved me too, or break up his stable marriage. "I'm a part of you," Jasper insisted, putting his hands on my shoulders, "I bit you; my venom is inside your veins. I'm a part of you and I love you and I don't want you to go." I took a deep, rattling breath. "Stop saying that! You don't love me. You. Love. Alice. So go back home and be in love with her," I ordered. Jasper shook his head, but it was in defeat. He knew he had lost. "Edward said goodbye," he told me, "But I refuse to let this be our last meeting. I love you, Mia, and I will see you again." I watched him leave until he started to run and his silhouette blurred and disappeared before sinking to the ground and burying my head in my hands miserably.
Epilogue
Mia,
I hope you're doing okay. Things are weird without you. It was so difficult for everyone at first; every time your name came up everybody would react oddly. Edward left the room, Rosalie and Esme started to cry, Carlisle would go silent, Emmett dropped whatever he was holding and I just went all numb. But strangest of all was Jasper. He just seemed to harden: his face would set and he would freeze for ages. Now everyone tries to prevent the topic before it comes up. But I know everyone misses you still. We always will.
Forks is nice, if a little dull. It rains most days, so we can go out in the day all the time here. We've started at high school again and of course nobody likes us much, but Edward has a lot of admirers. Everyone's scared of Emmett, obviously, but they're intimidated by the rest of us, too. We have our old house back and we love it, Esme especially. It's light and airy and open. And the forest is nearby, which is great for hunting.
I thought I should tell you that Edward is just starting to get over you. He was truly in love with you, but now he's moved on. Actually, he has a new girlfriend – well, almost. I know they'll be together forever, assuming you don't come back. She's called Bella and she's a human, but I can see her becoming one of us soon. Again that's only if you don't come back to us.
Jasper hasn't dealt with you leaving yet, though. I know you two were really close and I understood it, but he seems distant now. He's always been on the outside of the family a little, but it's changed. Now he seems to be making an effort to isolate himself. If you were to come back, maybe he would get better.
I hate to admit it, but I've only really written so that you'll come back to us. I hope that if you read about us then the nostalgia will make you miss us and you'll come back. Please, Mia, please come back. We can't stand it without you.
Alice.
I perched in a tree and read the letter, shaking with suppressed sobs. My trembling fingers traced Jasper's name repetitively and the guilt overwhelmed me. I had chosen a particular tree in the Hoh forest and I could see all the way to the big white house on Forks' outskirts. I peered through the windows and found Jasper in his bedroom. For a moment he looked at me and our eyes – and souls – connected for the final time.