A/N: Hey guys! So, this is just a random idea a friend and I came up with a while ago, and I finally actually wrote out the whole thing while I was bored at school today, so, yeah. Here you go! It's kind of supposed to be like a medical article on like, WebMD or something. Not that I read that a lot, or anything… Enjoy!
"Flashitus"
Flashitus is a psychological disorder that tends to manifest in young people from four years of age to twenty-one. It generally forms in youngsters that watch a recently made television show called The Flash, although there have been a few documented cases that were brought on by avidly reading comic books.
Flashitus can start out extremely mild, making it difficult to determine when a patient is contracting the disorder. The patient may begin to like the television show or comic and watch or read it more. As the disease progresses, more symptoms begin to appear, as are listed below. Flashitus generally takes about twenty-three to twenty-seven weeks to develop to the final stage (coincidentally, this is about the amount of time it takes for one whole season to air), but in some cases it hits much harder.
The fastest acting case of Flashitus reported overcame the patient in twenty-three hours. After watching the first episode of The Flash, the aforementioned patient immediately binge-watched the next seventeen episodes before finally taking a break. Fortunately for the patient (and the patient's family and friends), Flashitus is not fatal, although decidedly unhealthy.
Flashitus was discovered by two of the victims, who happened to be sisters: Rose and Lavender Lee. The two were fourteen and on their way to a bowling alley while discussing the television show when they discovered something. There were certain mental irregularities consistent in both of them. The two came to a conclusion that they must have a mental disorder and immediately fell to coming up with a name. In the end, it was Miss Rose Lee that coined the name "Flashitus."
Symptoms (Stage One):
Patient may enjoy mentioning the show or discussing it
Patient watches show if nothing else of interest is available
May frequently point out bad ideas or how show could improve the plot or scientific accuracy
Stage Two:
Patient loves the show and watches frequently (patient may also rewatch episodes that the patient enjoyed or, alternatively, watch the entire season over again)
Begins to love and hate the characters respectively and think of them as real people
May start to write and/or read Flash fanfiction
Stage Three:
Will shout at television when a character does something stupid (this may have manifested earlier, but is found in all Stage Three patients)
Avidly writes and/or read Flash fanfiction
May have dreams about The Flash
Watches The Flash whenever possible
Discusses show with friends and actively try to "convert" people who don't watch The Flash and/or have never watched because they prefer Arrow
In some extreme cases of Flashitus, the patient can develop an advanced strain of the disorder. The strain, known commonly as Barryitus (also coined by Miss Rose Lee), mainly focuses on the Flash himself and the man under the mask. This strain is most common in teenage girls and is by far the most serious case of Flashitus one can contract and survive. Once, a patient was reported to have progressed to a stage beyond Barryitus called Extremae Dementiae Mico. Unfortunately, this patient somehow managed to build a particle accelerator, blow it up, and disintegrate themselves from the sheer power of the explosion. Fans who heard of the event claim that the fellow fan is merely "trapped in the speed force and waiting for the Flash to save him."
The Barryitus's full name is Flashitus Barralgia Obssesophilium, but most will shorten the name to Barry itus. As mentioned before, Barryitus is centered on Barry Allen, also known as the Flash. As the television show does it's best to portray Mr. Allen as a dashing, noble young hero, the development of this strain is understandable. In some cases, fixations with other characters have been reported. In males, the strain is generally found fixed on Miss Iris West (extreme fangirls who suffer from Extremae Dementiae Mico have referred to Miss West as "the bane of my existence," while those suffering from Flashitus or Barryitus fondly refer to her as "Mrs. West-Allen") and is called Flashitus Iralgia Obsessophilium. The symptoms of Barryitus are as follows:
Squeals/dreamy look in eyes/deep sigh upon seeing Mr. Allen
May have numerous Barry Allen/Flash items
Can recite entire conversations/lines from the show
All aforementioned symptoms of Flashitus are commonplace and found in every victim
In some cases that border on Extremae Dementiae Mico, the patient may begin to hate all of Mr. Allen's girlfriends and attempt to use voodoo on them
Flashitus is especially hard to treat, mainly because it has only recently been discovered and not many studies have been conducted. As far as scientists know, the only way to treat Flashitus is to take away anything Flash related. This includes the television show, fanfiction, Funko pops or other action figures, and anything else bearing the name, word, picture, or trademark of the Flash. Perhaps the most important requirement is that the patient be kept away from any type of crayons, markers, colored pencils, etc., etc., as this could result in many many pictures of the Flash being drawn (much like, I am told, the Trickster did, as seen in season two, episode nine). Also, keep the patient away from paper and any writing utensil, as they may begin to write their own fanfiction.
Most doctors, while treating Flashitus, will lock the patient in a white sterile room with a television inside. The doctor will then stream documentaries or other movies, forcing the patient to watch something other than The Flash. Be very careful when choosing which fictional movies to show the patient and be sure not to show anything superhero related. This could trigger a Flashitus relapse.
The main treatment for Flashitus used to be showing the patient Arrow, as it was observed that many Barryitus patients bordering on Extremae Dementiae Mico had a deep seated dislike for Oliver Queen (a few of these patients claimed he was a "pretender" and "lame-o" for not having superpowers and not "even having a cool cape like Batman," although this is not the author's opinion). Then, the first doctor to attempt to undergo the treatment with the patient in order to determine how sane the patient would be when they got out of treatment noticed that both pre-accelerator Barry Allen and the Flash are mentioned and shown multiple times in Arrow. The treatment was instantly changed.
If you or a loved one appear to have any strain or stage of Flashitus, call a doctor as soon as as possible to start your recovery. Also, keep a close eyes out for a disorder often closely related to Flashitus: Arrowphema.
~RangerOfOlympus, author of "Amneisure: Do you have it? You may not Know."