Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in X-Men.

A/N: Just a simple John-is-at-the-institution piece. The time of the story is up to the readers to decide, in general a pretty free and opened piece. This leans towards a one-sided interest on Kitty's part and hints of John's reciprocated feelings.

Please don't judge too harshly! Enjoy!

Going Through But Never Gone

It was a terrible morning for Kitty Pryde. She woke up late and feared missing breakfast. She ended up not eating anyways. Now, her empty stomach was not settling with her, and the rush from phasing through the school seemed to only worsen her nausea. All she wanted to do was to throw up until her insides come out.

Thank heavens it was Sunday. At least she didn't have to look presentable. All she had to do was to study and do homework with Rogue and Bobby downstairs, which was why she was currently walking down the hall and getting the exact details on Rogue's date with Bobby yesterday.

Kitty's thoughts traveled back to her abandoned breakfast as another rush of sickness went up her body. After that glimpse of John and Jubliee together, she probably would have thrown up already had she stayed and ate her food. She didn't understand why he agitated her so much. He wasn't even dating Jubliee (not that it mattered if he was). He was simply being himself! It shouldn't even matter to her!

Sure, his loud act of being a rebel attracted much attention from everyone, but whether they really wanted to indulge him with the spotlight was another issue. His annoying air of confidence was rather funny and charming. His constant play with fire was a show of his success in taming a wild beast and its submission to his power. It was as if he was trying to say, "I can control what all you cannot. And, don't you dare try."

He was the fire, and the fire was him. No one could tell him what to do except himself. He…

Ohhh god…She was in way too deep. She grimaced and let out a long sigh.

"Kitty?" Rogue asked as they entered the library. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I probably just need to eat soon or something."

"Alright then. Bobby's already in here somewhere."

If Rogue said anything else to her, Kitty did not register it. As she scanned the room for Bobby, her vision fell on an eyesore – John. He was here with Jubliee (again), and before she could stop her friend, Rogue had already gone to him and started talking.

Kitty dropped her head, hoping to become invisible as she made her way towards Bobby.

"Kitten!" The call resonated in her ears.

Arghh… She let out a long silent groan. Why, oh why, did he have to see her? She looked like crap today. She knew what type of girls caught his attention, and she certainly wasn't that today. Not only did she look like garbage, she felt like it too. She was hungry, nauseated, and sick. There simply was not enough energy in her to deal with him. Maybe she should throw up on him; that'd keep him away forever.

"Hey John," she said quietly as she inched towards the group.

John, on the other hand, took large strides towards her. Kitty debated internally as to whether she should just change course and leave Rogue, but she found her legs taking her closer and closer to the guy she's been meaning to avoid like a plague.

He opened his arms as he approached her. Her eyes widened at the sight and panicked like a deer caught in the headlights.

What is he doing? Why is he coming? What does he want? Is he going to hug me? But, he never does that to me! What am I going to do? I hope he notices my red fingernails since that's his favorite color and all… Why is he even here? Why didn't he just stay in his room?

Questions bombarded her mind as she tried to plan escape routes to the different possible scenarios she could come up with.

He finally stopped about three steps in front of her and dropped his hands on each of her shoulders.

"Dam, what the hell happened to you? You look like crap, Pryde! Wake up!" John said as he shook her.

She let her head sway with her body as she tried to fight the anxiety creeping up her throat.

"I'm just tired that's all," Kitty managed to say. She ran her hand through her hair and tried to come up with something else to say to him.

"You need to sleep earlier and not be up at 3 a.m. studying or doing some other school crap," he told her while pushing her back a little and releasing his hold on her shoulders.

"I am…" started Kitty.

He didn't even listen to the rest of her sentence and turned back to Jubliee and Rogue.

"trying…"

Kitty walked towards Bobby's table and let out another long sigh. She had been doing that a lot today, but really, there was nothing else she could do. She was at a loss as to how to act and what to say whenever he was near. She truly wasn't tired at all at the moment, but it seemed much better than telling him that she felt sick. He probably didn't want to talk to her anyways.

She didn't understand him, and she doubted that she ever would unless he started being straightforward with her, but that would probably be a miracle.

"Kitty! Watch out! Phase!"

"Wha…"

Kitty turned her head towards Rogue's voice. All she saw was the bright flame from a fireball speeding her way. "Ahh!" Kitty screamed slightly as she quickly phased to let it pass. She watched as the fireball stopped its course and died away next to the seat in front of her. She glanced back at the three of them and sat down on the chair without a word. She caught their laughter as she faced Bobby.

"Hey Kitty," said Bobby. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired I guess." Why was everyone asking her that today? She moved to put her books out on the table.

Bobby nodded and continued his struggle with his essay. They'd probably bounce ideas off each other after everyone settled at the table when Rogue finished her rant.

"John! What were you thinking!?" shouted Rogue.

"It's Pyro," replied John while flipping his Zippo on and off. "She looks like she needs some color back in her face. I'm just helping her warm up, huh Kitten?" he smirked while giving Kitty a slight nod in her direction.

The sound of their laughter reached her ears again, and she pretended to stay focused on her outline.

"You could have hurt her, Pyro! She could have been burnt! Use your brain to think for once instead of that stupid lighter!" continued Rogue as they approached the table.

"For one, it is not stupid," snapped John and flipped his lighter closed. "Two, for your information, my flames can't touch little Kitty here. She just phases through them. So, she can't be burnt. Isn't that right, Kitten?" John said smugly as he slipped into the seat next to Kitty.

Kitty looked up at John and felt her head nod slightly before busying herself with writing again. Had she not looked away, she would have caught the slight frown and the hint of disappointment that appeared on his face.

"Well, still, you should be more careful. Good thing Kitty has fast reflexes," huffed Rogue and pointed her finger at John, signaling that she had the last word. He gave a small shrug and leaned his arm on the back of his chair, making himself comfortable for their long study session.

She can't be burnt.

Kitty thought back to what John said as she watched his movements out of the corner of her eyes.

She sank further down in her seat and put her weight on her left arm. Her right hand continued to write words that flowed out of her mind without being processed.

Isn't that right, Kitten?

No.

He wasn't right.

He had burnt her.

He burnt her, and she never healed.

Her powers were not fast enough to escape his.

The flames peeled at her, scabbed continuously, and scarred her body. It became a thing that she could not get rid of no matter what she tried. It refused to leave and refused to change. The fire tortured her.

His fire stayed with her.

That was something that John will never know or understand – the reason why Kitty Pryde let herself get burnt.