A/N: Not my usual fandom or pairing, this was written to fulfill a Christmas Gift request for my best friend, who wanted Ziva/Abby and Christmas Trees. (Originally written December 2011)
Abby sat down on her couch and put her feet up on the last box she'd brought in, cheerfully labeled with a combination of sharpie-drawn skulls and holly. She grinned at the tree in the corner, which she'd searched for for nearly two days. It was perfect, in a Charlie Brown's Christmas sort of way. Brown and drooping, it had looked lonely all by itself in a back corner of the lot where she'd found it. She'd be leaving for Louisiana in the morning, but tonight she was going to take something sad and make it beautiful and happy again. It was her own little private tradition.
After a few minutes of rest from lugging the boxes into her apartment, she poured herself a glass of wine, grabbed a plate of cookies, and sat down on the floor to open the first box. The doorbell rang.
Abby wrinkled her nose and stood up. She wasn't expecting company, they weren't on call (for once), the nuns were busy setting up for the Christmas cantata, and everyone else was travelling for the holidays.
She peeked through her peephole to see Ziva David standing on her doorstep, fretting.
"Ziva, hi!" she grinned as she opened the door. "Weren't you having dinner with someone or something?"
Ziva smiled and shrugged. "It sort of fell through. Is it alright that I came? You said if we wanted to come . . . "
"Of course! Come on in!" Abby grinned and opened the door wider, walking into the kitchen to grab another glass to pour Ziva some wine. "I don't have much more than wine and cookies, I wasn't expecting anyone to actually show up, since everyone said they were busy."
"I'm sorry," Ziva said, "I don't mean to be a bother..."
Abby pointed to the sofa, then pushed Ziva into it, causing her to fall down with a soft "oof."
"You sit. If you were bothering me I would tell you so."
Ziva pursed her lips, then smiled. "Yes, I believe you would."
Abby grinned and sat down on the floor at her feet, tearing open a box, pulling out strand after strand of fairy lights.
"Abby? Are those purple?"
"Blacklights! Aren't they awesome! Just the thing to brighten up poor Edna."
"Edna?"
"The tree! She needs some pretty clothes to wear!" Abby hopped up, twirling around, the strands of unlit lights dangling from her hands.
"Well then, where do we start?"
A few minutes later and the tree was sparkling and garlanded with black and purple feather boas. Ziva had relaxed and was munching delicately on a cookie, and Abby was stretched out on the floor, leaning against the sofa, unpacking a box of carefully packed ornaments.
"I don't want to have more than one of any sort of ornament," she said, unwrapping something that looked delicate and fragile, "The first year I was out on my own, my tree was almost bare, because I refused to buy packages of filler ornaments."
She held up the ornament carefully for Ziva's inspection. Ziva blinked and narrowly avoided spraying cookie everywhere.
"Abby?" she said, "Mouse bones?"
"Uh-huh!" Abby smiled. "The person who makes these ensured they were found, not killed."
"In a santa hat?" Ziva continued, "and clutching a tiny scythe?"
"Of course. It's DEATH OF RATS," Abby said, as if this explained everything. She reached into the box and scooped a bunch of wrapped baubles into Ziva's lap to unwrap. She then wandered over to the tree and hung DEATH OF RATS from a prominent branch and picked up another.
Ziva unwrapped a Día de Muertos mask, a tiny wicker man, a face entirely made of holly leaves, and a small, green, tentacled monster, which she carefully placed at intervals on the tree, watching Abby bounce around with her own handfuls of decorations. Between the bouncing, the short skirt, and Abby's bare legs, she couldn't help enjoying the view. When Abby looked up and nearly caught her looking, Ziva hurried over to the box and picked up another few ornaments.
Abby kept up a steady stream of one-sided conversation as she decorated, explaining the stories behind each ornament and how she'd acquired and which ones she'd made herself and how.
"Do you think Tony'll actually go meet up with Wendy?" she asked, keeping an eye on Ziva.
Ziva snorted. "No, he will not. He is afraid."
"Men," Abby giggled. "They're so fragile. But maybe he could be convinced to look for this commitment he suddenly wants somewhere else?"
Ziva raised an eyebrow. "I do know that he has designs on someone other than this 'Wendy'. I do not, however, expect him to ever act upon them."
Abby pursed her lips and paused to dangle a miniature iron maiden from a likely branch. "Not you?"
"Of course not, Abby. Someone much more frightening than even myself."
Abby's eyes widened. "I thought for certain you and Tony, well, there used to be, right?"
Ziva hung her ornament (a single elf ear with a cross earring) and went back to the box. "What of you and McGee?"
"I suppose I asked for that."
Ziva smirked. Then she looked down at the ornament she was unwrapping and laughed, dangling it from a finger. "Do you plan on arresting some very tiny people?" They were a pair of tiny festive green-and-red fur lined handcuffs.
"Maybe I'd like them to arrest me?" Abby giggled, taking another ornament to the tree (an X-wing built of legos).
Ziva hung them on the tree and picked up another ornament, unwrapping it and nearly dropping it.
"Abby!" she exclaimed, falling back onto the couch and holding it up for inspection. "I did not expect this!"
Abby chuckled and reached into the box and picked up something else, unwrapping it and handing it to Ziva. Together, the two ornaments made a set - one perfect model of female genitalia, and one male.
"Do they ever, shall we say, get together?" Ziva asked, watching Abby with a smile.
Abby shook her head. "Nope! I hang them on opposite sides of the tree so they can't."
"Of course," Ziva smiled. "Do you have any human sized versions of these?"
"I might?" Abby said teasingly.
"You might?" Ziva poked her with the tiny penis. "Tell me? I do know how to get information out of uncooperative people."
"And I know how to kill someone and ensure that no one ever ever finds out," Abby smirked.
"Please?" Ziva said, carefully hanging the two ornaments far away from each other on opposite sides of the tree, as instructed.
"I'll tell you, Ziva. I might even show you, if..."
"If what?"
"If you tell me who you think Tony has the hots for."
Ziva smirked. "It'll take a lot more interesting toys than those to get me to tell that, Abby."
Abby held up a statue of a pair of robots, pressing a switch on the bottom so that they became animated.
"More interesting than that, too, Abby."
"Oooh, it must be good. Not you, but someone in the office?"
Ziva smiled slowly, then nodded.
Abby grinned. "The best of my ornaments are on the bottom, there should be something in there to tempt you."
They worked their way through a bondage collar and mask, a tiny whip that lit up red on the tip when hooked up to the lights, a woman in a red corset tied to a stake, having obviously been whipped, each ornament getting Ziva more and more intrigued, but not enough to reveal her secret.
Finally, at the bottom of the box was the last ornament. Abby hid it with her body as she carried it to the tree and plugged it into the lights, stepping back to the sound of a soft, feminine, "Aaaaah..."
Ziva looked at the ornament and smiled, stepping up behind Abby and putting her arms around her waist, whispering in her ear: "Now that's something I'd like to see . . ."
Abby shivered and leaned back, letting her head fall to the side and exposing her neck. "Is it who I think it is?"
"If you think it is Gibbs, then yes," Ziva said, dropping a kiss to Abby's shoulder and watching the ornament, which was two women in 69 position, complete with lights and sound.
"Hot..." Abby said, shivering again. "can't you just imagine it?"
"I'd rather experience something else," Ziva said, letting her hands move up from Abby's waist. She paused slightly, her breath ghosting on Abby's neck, until Abby nodded her permission, then laid her hands on Abby's breasts, thumbs circling over her nipples through her shirt.
"I thought you'd never ask," Abby said.
"I never thought you would want it," Ziva said softly. "You like pain. Giving or receiving?"
"Both," Abby gasped, leaning her head back, "With the right person."
"Me too," Ziva said, pinching Abby's nipples hard and twisting them, earning a squeal. "Will you show me your toys now? Maybe . . . show me how you play with them?"
"Yes ma'am!" Abby said, standing straighter and bouncing off to her bedroom as soon as she was released, with Ziva following closely behind.