Title: Animal
Fandom: Naruto
Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Rating: T
WARNING: very slight shounen-ai
Pairing: Suigetsu/Sasuke
Setting: Not so long after Itachi's death.
Author's Note: Thanks a lot to Thorn in Your Side for betaing this fic. SuiSasu needs more love! :3
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Animal
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Soft groans that broke the silence of the night were not unusual to Suigetsu's ears. In the middle of a night without a moon like this, a thick fog blanketed the dark sky. Only one or two stars were seen, dimly flickering. The night air blew and gently swept the badlands with generous winds. At the moment of perfect silence like this, was the time when the nightmare always come.
The dream haunted a boy who had an ego and high confidence, who only on a night like this was no different from other ordinary teen that found himself trapped in a nightmare, out of the blue.
Suigetsu drew his blanket closer and slowly turned around to face the source of groaning.
".. Nii-san ..."
His voice was faint in the ear drum, caught by Suigetsu. He turned his sight on the barren ground where he laid.
One week had passed since the death of Itachi, same with the start of this new habit of listening to soft groans in the middle of the night.
Itachi was the reason he had been released from the water tank at Orochimaru's hideout, far away at Otogakure. And Itachi was also the reason for the existence of the person who had freed him.
Now that Itachi was dead, the reason would fade away along with him. Once Suigetsu had thought that when Itachi was assassinated, the boy who had helped him would throw him out on the street. At that time he had tried not to think.
Thinking of something that he himself did not know the answer to would only make you suffer. And Suigetsu was already unhappy about it. When the day of fighting Itachi had come, Suigetsu hadn't been able to stop his chest from dilating.
Anxiety, fear, sadness—he did not know all those sort of things. Hozuki brothers were slayers, killing anyone, anywhere, and had no sympathy at all.
Empathy. It must be it. Something he had found over a long time spent near the boy who had freed him.
All the misery and sorrow of the boy came to him. Suigetsu sometimes hated that he was half animal. Because while animals have very sharp instincts he knew animals should not have a conscience. But he did.
The voice that sounded like a faint moan came back; brought by gusts of wind and infiltrating Suigetsu's eardrums. Like a melody before bed, he could not refuse the indefinite struggle with feelings of warmth in his heart. It had him not feeling safe, but feeling uncomfortable.
He still remembered well the day when Itachi fought with the boy; it was the day he had lost everything.
The boy was simply a vindictive avenging engine. And now after revenge had been taken, he found that the harsh reality of it was that it had been a big mistake; a misunderstanding, a deep hole gaping in his chest by the flame of hatred. Then the boy turned back into the avenging engine, only with a different target.
Suigetsu knew that the boy did not have anything in his life. The thing that kept him alive and gave him the urge to continue living was hatred. Only hatred. So when the boy said that their group would change its name from Hebi to Taka, and that their vision was to destroy Konohagakure, Suigetsu understood correctly the facts: what the boy held in his hands was a void and he was merely seeking a new purpose in life.
Hebi was the binding chain, an excuse for Suigetsu to be next to the boy. When Hebi dissolved and the boy's vision—kill Itachi—had been accomplished, Suigetsu was off duty and he could go wherever he wanted; where ever he originally intended. But the fact was, Suigetsu couldn't step away from the boy even just a second.
Speaking of purposes in life, Suigetsu really understood that he himself was just a pile that lived without aim. Being freed from the water tank that had imprisoned him for a very long time had of course made him happy. Hands, feet, head—they all could be formed again like before. He was a creature that moved and breathed and wanted to be free like all other such creatures.
But when his hands were clenched strong with cheerful feelings, he felt something cold in his hand.
When he opened his palm, what he found is a nothingness. There was nothing in his grasp. People said humans have two places in their lives in this vast universe. Places to return to and place to head for. Suigetsu turned to his right and left sides: no place to come back to. In front and behind him too there was nothing he was headed towards.
Did this make him inhuman?
If humans differed from animals because of morals, then he who was immoral probably was not really human.
With that thought, he decided to take a step into the only place available to him. Uchiha Sasuke.
Uchiha Sasuke. The boy that had given him freedom, as well as giving him a new prison. A prison called morals.
Pack animals loved their herd and leader—the thing he learnt from his time with Uchiha Sasuke. The Suigetsu who had never had a place to be perished; Hebi was the only place where he felt needed.
The hell with desire to collect swords or anything, it was nothing more than an excuse. He just wanted to be next to Uchiha Sasuke. If killing Uchiha Itachi was the place where Sasuke was headed, he would gladly walk to that place. Even if it meant his journey with Sasuke would end when the moment came to reach their destination.
The second he saw Sasuke stepping to fight with Itachi, without looking at Suigetsu, he knew without feeling the slightest doubt that this was the second in which everything would end.
With bitterness, he had drawn his sword and challenged Hoshigaki Kisame. His sword raised without a doubt, but his heart filled with infinite anxiety. Would any worthy ninja; an assassin like him, have felt uneasy to see his partner—his leader—fight, risking his life?
Maybe he was truly not human. He was just an animal who lived with instincts without being able to control them.
He had not even known anymore who was in front of him. Fighting against Hoshigaki Kisame was something that had been his desire, to make himself feel alive. But when the day had come, the only thing he felt was emptiness.
Something terrible was gnawing at his heart.
What if Sasuke died?
What if Itachi died?
Either outcome had meant the same to Suigetsu. Whichever it might have been, it would have made him lose his home. It would have made him lose Uchiha Sasuke. The only place for him to go back…
Like Alice in Wonderland, when he opened his eyes and woke up from his dream, everything would vanish in an instant. Hebi. Uchiha Sasuke.
Now that everything had changed its way, Suigetsu was unable to find any emotion for the twist. Should he feel happy because now Taka was a place for his new home? Or should he be sad to see Uchiha Sasuke who suffered deep wounds to the heart?
Suigetsu sighed. Sometimes he felt like he was an animal, sometimes he felt he was human with a weak heart.
Brushing aside his blanket, Suigetsu began to sit up. He looked at the figure that curled up a few feet away out of the corner of his eye.
Uchiha Sasuke always looked strong and flawless, and it was only at times like this that he was not much different from an ordinary teen: when haunted by nightmares.
Suigetsu closed his eyelids. The cool night breeze threw some dry leaves around him. Reaching for a leaf near his right hand, he stared at the brown leaves dancing in the palm of his hand.
Now or never.
Suigetsu squeezed it until the crushed pieces were left in his palm and let the wind sweep them into the dark. With one beat of the feet, he stood up and started walking towards Sasuke.
In the time taken to cover the meager distance of two feet between them, Suigetsu knew his head could have been flying at any second. A bit of hesitation before going further came into his mind.
The groan echoed again. Sweat poured down Sasuke's forehead, the dark-haired boy who was lying in front of him, hugging a blanket.
Suigetsu swallowed hard; his legs started to walk further to the figure that looked so fragile. Without any more doubt he stuck out his hand and touched the boy's shoulder with his fingertips.
"Hey, wake up. You're delirious."
CRASH
Katana blade slashing his neck, which was now melting into liquid.
Sasuke stared at him breathlessly. His eyes widened, his pupils narrowed, with bloody red in his pupils adorned with black. Tomoe symbols around it.
"Wow ... Relax, relax. No need to get serious, is there? Has someone told you that you have a high blood pressure?" Suigetsu showed his sharp teeth, re-condensed the neck and head as far away from the cold katana as he could.
"What do you want." Dark, cold eyes crashed deep into the eye socket of Suigetsu. Sasuke began to sit up, supporting his own weight on his left elbow.
"Hey, no need to sharingan me. I just felt annoyed by your noisy groans, you know," Suigetsu shrugged his shoulders. "Can't you sleep without delirium?"
Deactivating his sharingan, Sasuke's eyes were now fixed on a brown blanket that covered half of his lower body. No answer.
Suigetsu squatted next to Sasuke. "Nightmares?"
Sasuke frowned; glanced at Suigetsu. Pain radiated from his eyes; displeasure was shown there. "Fuck off."
Suigetsu felt something buzzing in his ear. He did not think to connect the fact that the heart beat faster with every time he felt something echoing in there.
After a few seconds he was back to being logical and drew his lips to form a smiling line. "I will not go away until you sleep. Just go to sleep."
Sasuke held his katana back to Suigetsu's neck, "Do not come near me. Do not touch me. Get away from me."
Suigetsu knew. This was how Uchiha Sasuke made himself feel safe. Fortifying himself against others. Not allowing anyone to approach him, to come close to him, to touch his heart. Suigetsu thought it wasn't a big deal, being a strong guy, if you were also weak in this way. Such a fragile creature…
"I don't want to leave," Suigetsu replied without thinking.
Sasuke tightened his grip on the handle of the cold katana.
"You know very well the sword does not work on me," Suigetsu smirked.
"And you know very well I could torture you with chidori nagashi."
Suigetsu swallowed. He stared into the depths of Sasuke's eyes now, looking for something that looked alive behind the black eyes like broken glass. What he found was dark, staring from infinite emptiness.
Uchiha Sasuke was not a living creature.
He was breathing and moving. But he was not alive. His world had collapsed.
"I'm not going to go. You go to sleep; I'm not going to do any harm," Suigetsu lowered his voice.
Sasuke slowly raised his left hand and blue sparks were created in his palm.
"I'll stay here. Even if you hit me many times, even if you cut me again and again, even if you strike many flashes of chidori to my body, no matter how much, I would still come back here," Suigetsu did not take his gaze off Sasuke's onyx eyes.
"You're going to die," Sasuke snorted.
"Even so, I'll come back here."
"That's impossible, idiot. Once dead you will not live again," Sasuke replied sharply.
Suigetsu did not answer.
How would death feel like? Would he be a puddle of water without a life? Would he evaporate without a trace? Would he go into eternal nothingness?
"Even so," Suigetsu spoke again, "I'm not going to go away from you."
The splash of blue on Sasuke's hand became bigger. Sasuke stared at Suigetsu, "Remind me again why should I let you live?"
Suigetsu raised his hand and, clutching the katana that Sasuke raised one millimeter on the side of his neck, said, "I ... will take care of you?"
Sasuke frowned, did not hide his confusion.
"Take a good rest. When the nightmare haunts you again, I'll be back to wake you up ..." Suigetsu's smile was polished.
Sasuke did not answer.
"No matter how many times, I'll wake you up every time the nightmare gnaws at you. Again and again, until you sleep without nightmares."
"... I'll never wake up from my nightmare," Sasuke said lowly.
"It's okay. I'll never get bored of waking you up," Suigetsu developed another smile. "I'm a very stubborn guy, remember that," he added.
"My life is one episode of an endless nightmare," Sasuke replied coldly in return.
"And I will always be a supporting role in it," Suigetsu replied.
Silence came over the boys. Neither Sasuke nor Suigetsu raised their voices. The howling wind sounded faint.
Slowly, the sprinkles of blue in the hands of Sasuke began to fade and disappeared. Suigetsu looked as the chidori was lost without a trace.
"Then ..." Sasuke's voice broke the silence of the slowly sizzling night, "Don't ever disappear from my side ..."
Suigetsu smiled. "My life is a dream about you. If you're gone, I'm alone."
Sasuke lowered his katana and placed the cold object beside him on the ground. "Don't say something that is so unlike you. You're drunk because of all the water you consume."Suigetsu laughed.
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Times passed with gusts of wind blowing away the dry leaves back into the silent night. Now in front Suigetsu was the figure of a young boy who curled up in a brown blanket and fell asleep peacefully.
Suigetsu pulled up the corners of his lips, leaned back on a tree trunk and watched Sasuke in his sleep.
Suigetsu noticed the boy's face was calm now. "Until the time you don't need me anymore, let me dissolve myself in your dreams. I'm just a heartless animal who lives only with the instinct to protect you and stay beside you," he whispered softly to the silence of the dark night, as if to himself, before closing his eyelids.
"That's a place to return for me, my only place to return to until the end of my time," and then he was absorbed in his own dream.
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FIN