This is an angsty thing that came to me last night, so I wrote it this morning. The song is by 'The Feeling' and the track is about six minutes into 'Blue Picadilly' Please reveiw because I love your feed back.
I sit at the bar, there's a radio playing in the background I sit at the bar, there's a radio playing in the background. I sigh again and down what must be my fifteenth shot; there is no way I'll be able drive home today. I pause for a second, the music catching my attention, it reminds me of her, like every other thing in the world. It's the words.
I curl up on the couch with a bottle of vodka in my hands. Is that all I do now? I think so, I work and I drink. Why? I ask myself, but I know the answer. To forget. To forget what? It jumps quickly to mind again, to forget him. But I can't he'll always be there. I pause, the radio's playing a song by some British band. I turn it up slightly.
Everyone knows it
Can you deny it?
I was the only one for you
I definitely couldn't deny what my heart had been telling me for ages, everyone knew it. Even I knew it and I didn't even believe in love- or at least, I didn't think I believed in it.
I felt things for her that I never thought I could feel, we were made for each other. I put my head in my hands and try to forget her, but closing my eyes doesn't help; she is burnt into my eye lids, making sure I can't forget her.
Everyone knows it
Cause we couldn't hide it
Nobody else got close
It's true
I laugh a little, even as a 'non-couple' we were amazing together. We acted so much like a couple that nobody knew. There was times when I just wanted to kiss her, but fear of rejection kept me at bay.
Angela kept telling me that we would be a brilliant together. I smile, I didn't need her to tell me that; I wanted to kiss him, but he didn't want to kiss me. And his smile, I loved his smile. I open the bottle and take another drink.
But my love was stronger than you think
It's much stronger now I've had a drink
She never loved me, she didn't believe in love. If only I'd taken my chance, there had been millions of them, swept her up into a kiss. I shake my head to clear it. I always get like that when I'm drunk.
All I seem to do now is drink and work. To forget him, to forget how he left, with only a goodbye and he was gone out of the door, out of my life. I don't do work with the FBI any more, it reminds me of him.
Well, I hope you know that I miss you
Great, I think to myself, if only I could tell her that. I've still got her cell number, even though I have a new phone. She's still speed dial 1, always has been, always will be.
And I wonder where you've been
And I wonder who you've seen
I have no idea where he is, he never told me. Sometimes I want to phone him, but I don't. I just want to ask him about his day, or talk to him about a skeleton from limbo. I loved the way he never remembers the bones in the human body.
She travels, to remote archaeological sites. Peru and Burma, no, it's not called that anymore. What is it called? If Bones was here, she would have corrected me by now. I try to remember what she told me but remembering her voice is too much. I order another shot and down it quickly.
And I hope that he's a friend
I haven't been dating anyone since he left: I like to think it makes him happy. He was always so protective of me. I don't really have friends anymore, I don't get too close. I only let Angela be my friend.
Do I miss you?
(yeah)
Do I miss you?
(Yeah)
If I missed her any more, I would be driven to insanity, I'm not even sure I'm sane right now. I can't not miss her.
Well, I wonder where you've been
And I hope your with a friend
I do, really, want the best for her. As long as she's happy, I don't care about my sanity. I try to stand, but almost fall over. Maybe I've had a little too much to drink; I should get a cab home.
Everyone knows it
So don't you deny it
We had it all laid out for two
Everyone knows it
Cause we couldn't hide it
I was the sea and
Sky was you
We really were perfect together, we probably solved more murder cases than the rest of the FBI put together.
But all of a sudden
The wind just changed direction
And that big black cloud came rolling in
I never told her why I left. Maybe it was for the better. I walk outside and wait to hail a cab, I can still here the song from inside. I left her because I had to go into the army, just for a short while, to train new sniper; new people to kill for the 'just cause' I snort, but then looked down again. I didn't want to tell because I could have got killed. But then, is this really better?When he left, I felt like my world had been torn apart. It just proved what I knew all along, everyone I love leaves me.
Yeah, I hope you know that I miss you
And I wonder where you've been
I finally hail a cab and stumble in, the song is playing on the radio still. Is the world trying to torment me? Sometimes I think of calling her, and just hope she'll still have the same phone, but I don't even know if she'll pick up. I shouldn't have left her like that. I know that, I always knew that. But, when we're in love, we're not rational.
I still keep my old cell phone plugged in at my apartment, just in case he calls.
And I wonder who you've seen
And I hope that he's a friend
The cab driver asks me where I'm going. I almost tell him Bones' apartment, but shut my mouth in time. But then I think 'why not' my mind comes up with a million reasons, but, being drunk, I say it anyway. I decide to pick up coffee on the way.
Do I miss you?
(yeah)
Do I miss you?
(Yeah)
I do
And now, I'm racing towards Bones' apartment, heart pounding at a thousand milles per hour. Why did I do this? I drink a sip of coffee and my head clears, but as it does, it screams at me to stop.
Well, I wonder where you've been
I can't do this, I can't. I see her window and I chicken out. Maybe some day I'll be able to do it, but for now, I'm going home.
I go over to the window and see a cab go past the window. I think I see Booth in the back, but no, it must be my imagination. My heart leaps every time a cab or an SUV goes by, but of course, it's never him.
And I hope your with a friend
I love him
I love her