This is another Dead Space one-shot I decided to write. It's full of angst, mostly because I've been going through a lot at the moment and I needed to write something to get it out of my system. I'm currently working on the next chapter of Playing the Game 2, so expect to see that up soon as well. Let me know what you think of this one-shot.

DISCLAIMER: Everything belongs to Visceral Games and EA.

WARNING: There are Dead Space and Dead Space 2 spoilers throughout this story.

"What?"

Who would have thought that simple question could stir up a lot of emotions in me? I sure as hell didn't up until Ellie asked it.

I couldn't answer at first, but when I finally came to my senses and realized she wasn't a hallucination, I just shook my head and answered, "Nothing, nothing."

Ellie knew something was up, but she didn't comment on it, which I appreciated in that moment. Whenever I was ready, I would open up.

But that was the problem: would I ever be ready?

As Ellie and I continued to fly away into the vast vacuum that was space, I looked down at my lap and thought about all the people who had either abandoned me or betrayed me in some way. Even though I didn't want to admit it, I realized the list was pretty long.

God. How could I allow myself to be put in that position in the first place? Was I too naïve? Too trustful? Too hopeful? Did I somehow believe that people were genuinely trying to help me?

I used to think that. Now I didn't anymore.

My parents were the first ones I thought of on this list. Paul and Octavia Clarke. Dad had left when I was four to go on an "extended, off-world tour" or some bullshit like that. I highly doubted that these tours took forty two years to complete. I'd like to think he didn't decide to leave me and Mom.

I mean, he was my father! I didn't want to see him as anything but a loving family man. But after all my inquiries to his whereabouts were declined, I began to worry something had happened to him. I really hoped it wasn't my previous thoughts.

In fact, if it wasn't for my father leaving, Mom would have never turned to that…that fucking religion in the first place.

Unitology.

I saw what had happened to her and vowed never to get sucked into the whole thing. After a while, that was all that mattered to her: discovering the secrets of the Marker. Ha! If only she could see what that "Divine Relic" had done to me…

Anyway, the minute I realized she no longer cared about me was when she literally sold off everything to purchase a Vested-level title in the Church. That's right: everything! That was the end of me going to my number one engineering school.

Maybe she didn't mean to hurt me like that, but after all that I've been through, I have no reason to believe that she wasn't aware of what she was doing. I never forgave her, or the Church, for what had happened.

The next one on the list, you can probably guess. Though I'd like to put it behind me, I just can't in this case.

Her.

Nicole.

Oh, God, Nicole.

The best thing to ever happen to me…and also my worst nightmare.

Of course, the horrible hallucinations of her weren't my Nicole, but still.

I should have known something bad was going to happen the minute I encouraged her to take that position on the USG Ishimura. It was a great opportunity for her to advance her career, so why not? She deserved it.

Little did I know things would end up going to hell in a hand basket, but by then, it was too late.

The minute I heard about the disaster, I signed up to join the emergency maintenance team on the USG Kellion. I had to make sure Nicole was all right. Nobody can say I didn't try, because I did.

I wish I had only gotten there sooner.

I was too late to save Nicole.

Even though I couldn't change the past, I still wished she hadn't done what she did. She should have waited for me to get there. I could have rescued her and gotten us both out of there.

I never forgave myself for that.

Of course, Kendra didn't help matters. Oh, yeah, she was next on my list. Leaving me for dead on the Ishimura and Aegis 7 was the worst thing she could have ever done to me after the literal hell I went through just to get that damn ship fixed.

And she betrayed me. She knew Nicole was…was gone from the beginning and she didn't even bother to tell me! How sick could someone get? I would have still been upset beyond belief, but at least I would have known.

I couldn't say I was happy that Kendra was dead. She had been killed by the Hive Mind right after our last little encounter, and to me, that was some sick form of karma.

With my luck, I bet my time was coming soon.

Anyway…after Kendra, the next person on my list was Daina. She was the most recent one, and she eerily reminded me of Kendra.

Daina was the embodiment of everything I hated about Unitology: she only wanted to use me to build more of those fucking Markers. Hell, so did EarthGov, but at least they didn't try and string me along like she did.

Hell, even the Marker behaved in the same way, using a "sweet" hallucination of Nicole in order to coax me into killing myself to complete the Convergence Event. If even a rock could betray me like that, then I must have been pathetic. I honestly didn't know what to make of that.

After that, reflecting back on everybody…it seemed like some of them enjoyed screwing me over. Well, I knew the Marker did for sure, but Kendra got some kind of pleasure out of telling me I had gone insane, and Daina wanted me to stay in this condition so that I could continue building Markers.

Isaac Clarke. No longer a human being with wants, needs, or emotions. Nothing but a tool to benefit others.

Funny how life worked out.

And then there was Ellie Langford.

The only person I met who helped me out…and didn't betray me! She even came back to rescue me just as the Sprawl was being destroyed! Now that shocked me. I wasn't expecting her to pull off such a risky stunt after I put her on the gunship and told her to leave in the first place. It made me wonder what her motives were.

I still wondered now.

Not that I wasn't secretly grateful to be alive even after thinking I was going to die. It was just that I was Isaac Clarke. Nobody ever came back to help me before.

Could I trust Ellie? Could she be the one to prove me wrong about not being worth anything to anybody?

Maybe.

Unfortunately, there was a small part of me that was just waiting for her to snap at any minute. To decide that it was time to betray me just like everyone else had. Ellie didn't seem like she was going anywhere anytime soon, but I was still cautious.

I wished I could tell her everything. A part of me wanted to, but the other part didn't. I wasn't going to allow myself to be hurt for the umpteenth time.

But she saved your life, I thought, You owe it to her.

That was true. But now wasn't the time to explain everything about myself.

So that was why when Ellie had asked her one-worded question, I had replied with a one-worded answer.

That was all I would give anyone for now.