[A/N: Arg! I'm sorry that I haven't been here in FOREVER. I was out exploring other fandoms. I feel bad for being such a lazy bum and not doing anything. Please accept this as an apology. Enjoy! -Kaylee]

Dudes and dudettes, I am SO. SORRY. For being gone so long! Anywho, since it's October, the month of Halloween and Samhain, as well as All Hollow's Day and the beginning of the Harvest Festivals of yore, I thought I would commemorate such a special event by doing a Phineas and Ferb fanfic of possibly epic proportions! (It depends on how you look at it, you know?)

Without further adieu, I give you now Phineas, Ferb's and all of the gang's spins on classic spooky urban legends. Just remember, folks; check your backseat. Trace your phone calls. Never let a hitchhiker into your car, and always, ALWAYS keep the light on.

Title: The Licked Hand

Rating: PG-13

Characters: Candace, Linda

Summary: Humans can lick, too.

Candace Flynn was sixteen years old when her parents first decided that she could stay home completely by herself.

"We'll see you later, sweetie!", her mother Linda declared, hugging Candace and briefing her before she left. "The number for our hotel is on the fridge, there's money for a pizza and the boys are staying over at Baljeet's house. Don't open the door for anybody, keep the doors locked and don't answer the phone if you don't recognize the number!"

Candace waved her hand as if pushing aside her mom's worries. "Mom, I'll be fine! I put the number on my cell contacts and if the boys aren't here, I won't have any busting to do. You and dad can go to your conference or whatever." The red-haired teen patted the top of her skirt, summoning over a rust-colored dachshund puppy. "Besides," she cooed, stroking the fur of the little animal, "I have Jeremy Junior to protect me!"

Jeremy Junior was Candace's beloved new puppy, which her parents had gotten her after months of arguing that it was unfair for the boys to have a platypus and she not have a pet at all.

Linda laughed. "You have a point, I guess. I love you, and we'll be back tomorrow night!" With that, she left the girl and the dog alone.

That night, Candace was snuggled up with JJ, watching a movie, when the Danville news came on with an emergency warning. "Attention, citizens of Danville and of the greater Tri-state area! We are urging you to lock your doors and windows and to keep your children and animals inside for the rest of the night!"

Candace stiffened as she listened on. "Earlier this afternoon, a patient from Danville State Hospital for the criminally insane escaped and is still at large. The suspect is considered armed and incredibly dangerous. PLEASE, lock your doors and windows and keep your pets and children inside!"

The movie returned and Candace shuddered violently. "Perry and the boys are at the Rai's house. They should be fine!" Besides, she had locked the doors and the windows mostly remained locked...except for the one that had rusted to the point where it wouldn't turn. But as the movie came back on, settling her nerves, she forgot it.

The night passed quickly for Candace and Jeremy Junior as the girl fed him, played with him, and got ready for bedtime. JJ slept at the side of her bed on the floor at night, pointing his pink little tongue up to lick her hand and this night was no different. The lap of his tongue on her hand eventually lulled her into a comfortable sleep.

Drip...drip...drip...

The noise coming from the bathroom woke Candace with an eery, unsettled feeling; the faucet had been turned off. It didn't usually drip. Something didn't sit right with her and she wanted to go see, but oh, she was so scared! She sat there, paralyzed with horror, as JJ continued to loll his tongue up and down her hand, offering some comfort.

Drip...drip...drip...

The noise was awful to Candace, who lay there with her precious puppy under the bed until finally the sun began to burst through the curtain. As the final rays made their way into her room, Candace found her courage and sprang up from her bed, rushing into the bathroom to see what was making that awful drip.

When she got inside, Candace Flynn screamed.

Hanging from the shower curtain rack, by the neck, was Jeremy Junior, her beloved dachshund puppy, blood falling from a cut in his neck in a steady drip...drip...drip...

And written in her puppy's blood in the bathroom mirror were the words "People can lick too, Candace."