A/N: Should be fine for T audience unless you don't like Yaoi, if not don't read it. Commets are welcome.
Saix has done the same thing for Valentine's for the last six years: nothing. Everything is the same as it has been since his college love died. So how could this Valentines be different from the rest?
SAME AS ALWAYS
Saix rose early Monday morning, as was his usual routine. He fixed coffee out of habit rather than need for caffeine and showered while the scent of chocolate raspberry floated through the house. Almost mechanically he fixed toast with orange marmalade for breakfast. By five-thirty he was pulling out of his driveway. He arrived at work at a quarter to six, fifteen minutes early as usual. He clocked in, flipped on his computer to begin another day of phone calls, reports and numbers. Same as always.
"Morning, Saix."
Glancing up he greeted Zexion with his usual neutral, "Good morning."
He frowned when he saw that Zexion was not alone. There was a dish-water blond at Zexion's elbow, shyly smiling. Saix was surprised to see Zexion suddenly blush as the blond threaded his arm through Zexion's.
"Saix, this is Demyx. He's the lead for the band that supposed to play here on Valentine's Day."
Saix pasted on a business-like smile, "Oh, very good. The new boss apparently isn't in yet, but I do know that the occasion will be held in the west ballroom."
"Same as always." Zexion stated matter-of-factly.
"That's probably because the acoustics in there sound better than in the middle or the east. You should tell your new boss to fix that." Demyx commented.
"I'll be sure to mention it when he arrives." Saix informed them before turning back to his supply lists as Demyx and Zexion took their leave.
Valentine soirée again in the west ballroom as always. Saix would spend the holiday alone as always. It didn't matter that he thought the holiday was a complete farce, it was the idea that another year had gone by and he still felt that hollow spot that Lea had left when he had died. Would nothing ever change? Would he still be at this same desk three or four years from now talking to Zexion about the same old things, still feeling completely and utterly alone, even when surrounded by people?
It was one of the many reasons that he disliked Valentine's Day. Other than it was also the day Lea had died. Even six years later, it hurt, like it had only been yesterday. And every year since he had spent that day alone.
With a heavy sigh he pushed away the same thoughts that haunted him all through February and turned his mind back to his work, immersing himself in numbers and orders. So much so that when someone stuck their head out of the boss's office and said, "Hey, I'm having troubles with this new copier, do you think you could give me a hand?" Saix gasped and turned in his chair so quickly it tipped over, sending him to the floor.
Well, he thought idly while massaging his bruised temple, at least that doesn't happen all the time.
"Forgive me, I didn't mean to startle you." A pair of black boots and the dangling ends of a trench coat manifested beside Saix. He glanced up to see an extended hand. Ignoring the hand he stood and righted his chair, amber eyes glowing with agitation and some embarrassment.
Then, with his usual efficiency he strode into the office, punched a few buttons on the copier and closed the top, "How many copies did you want?"
"One hundred. Is it always this cold in here?"
"Yes, Vexen says that by keeping it colder than is really comfortable, people work instead of talk."
"And is there any truth in that?" There seemed to be some amusement in the man's voice, Saix was watching the copier so he didn't see the amused smile on the dark features.
Saix merely shrugged, "There must be a reason that everyone in the office except Marluxia refers to him as the Chilly Academic. There's your copies, if you have more, just set down the original, put in the number of copies you want and hit start. It wasn't working because it was on double sided." Then without even glancing at the new boss he went back to his desk, leaving the silver haired man completely baffled.
Xemnas shook his head, "I think the staff was mistaken in calling Vexen the Chilly Academic." He noted wonderingly as the blue haired man returned to his desk.
At quitting time Saix was starting on his last shipping order for the day. He figured he might as well finish it, too. He watched as Demyx came in to meet Zexion as the slate haired man was leaving, Vexen and Marluxia walked out in heated, but hushed discussion, Zack and Aerith left arm in arm, Cloud and Leon sauntered out shyly holding hands, Xaldin chasing Xigbar from the building with a smirk on his features, Aqua and Terra left with secret little smiles on their faces as they stared at each other. This was often how it was, couples leaving together. It happened nearly every day. Normally it wouldn't bother Saix, but Valentines was never normal. Because of his wandering and scattered thoughts it took him nearly an hour to complete the final list. Six in the evening found him finally shutting down his computer for the night.
The door to his right softly clicked shut and he looked up sharply.
"Still here so late?"
The new boss, what the hell was his name again, Xehanort, no, Xemnas? Yes, that was it, Xemnas.
"Just finishing a few things." Saix said as he pulled his keys from his pocket.
A silver brow rose, "It must have taken quite a bit of finishing. It's almost six-fifteen."
Saix shrugged, it wasn't like he had anything better to do. Without another glance at the black-clad man Saix left. Like he did every night he made dinner for one, picked up a book and read for a few hours before going to bed alone, same as always.
For the next three days that was his routine, mixed in with Xemnas asking for his help for some reason or another. How the man became a multi-million dollar business tycoon when he seemed to be technology impaired was a mystery. Things were normal until Friday evening around five-thirty when everyone except him and Xemnas had left.
Xemnas halted in front of Saix's desk and suddenly asked, "Are you naturally this anti-social or are you avoiding me?"
Somewhat ruffled, Saix asked, "I beg your pardon?"
Xemnas frowned, "I know the name of every person in this building except yours. It seemed for the first couple days that people were just flooding my office to introduce themselves, yet somehow, I seem to have missed your introduction."
Saix sighed, so that was the man's problem, he had to have everything and ever one in order and he couldn't do that without names.
"Saix." He grabbed his keys and headed for the door only to be pulled to a halt when Xemnas grabbed his arm.
"That's what I mean. You're all business, even when conversing with others. When was the last time you did something for fun?"
Saix was too stunned to make an immediate reply. First he was floored by the fact that Xemnas's touch on his arm was sending odd little sensations fluttering through him, second amber eyes framed by dark skin and silver hair was making it difficult to breath, and third why the hell did this man even care?
With a little laugh Xemnas pulled Saix out the door, "Come on, it's Friday, time to do something just to do it not because you have to."
Too shocked to resist, Saix followed as Xemnas pulled him through the doors and to a black and chrome Harley. Xemnas climbed on and tossed a helmet at Saix before setting an identical one over his own head.
Saix stared at the man, "You planned this?" He couldn't see the grin for the dark visor covering Xemnas's face but he heard a faint chuckle and "Yeah." Coming from the helmet in his hands.
"Just put it on and lets go or will be late."
"Late for what?" Saix asked as he tentatively put on the helmet.
Deep laughter flowed through the little speaker, "You'll see." He heard Xemnas say as he climbed on behind him.
"Hang on."
With some mild discomfort Saix grabbed the man's shoulders. Xemnas revved the engine on the bike before flipping it around and screeching off down the street. Saix immediately wrapped his arms about Xemnas's waist as the first corner flew bye. That movement sent a weird sensation to the hollow part in Saix's chest. Like maybe, it wasn't so hollow.
As he and Xemnas flew through traffic Saix found that he couldn't keep himself from laughing. This was fun, it was something he and Lea used to do as well. But that thought didn't hurt like it once had. That was strange.
Finally Xemnas pulled into a lot. The community center parking lot actually.
"Xemnas, what are we doing here?" Saix questioned as he pulled off the helmet and tucked his blue hair behind his ears.
With a smile Xemnas just said, "You'll see."
Saix walked beside Xemnas into the building where they were greeted by a man who looked a lot like Xemnas.
"Xemnas, it's about time you got here."
"Oh, be quiet Ansem. It's not like I'm always late. Besides, I had to spend a few minutes coaxing Saix here to come along." Xemnas threw an arm about Saix's shoulders.
A tall man with long silver hair approached them, "Well, Xemnas, now that you're here we can get started. Who's your friend?"
"Saix this is Sephiroth. Our opposition for the night. Sephiroth, this is Saix."
Sephiroth nodded before swishing off.
"Xemnas, what's going on?" Saix asked as Xemnas pulled him into a locker room.
"This is a charity fundraiser for the children's hospital. We are going to be playing blitz ball against Sephiroth and guys from his company." Vexen's voice came from the far side of the locker room.
"How long has this been scheduled?" Saix asked with a frown, he didn't remember anything about this.
"Since the staff meeting you missed at the beginning of the month because you were finishing something or another." Zack pulled Saix into a headlock and ruffled his hair playfully before Saix threw him off.
"Wait, you're not saying- His question was cut off as Zexion suddenly appeared and threw a pair of swim trunks at him.
"You were the star player on your college team, you have to play." Zexion smirked.
For several minutes Saix could only stare at the material in his hands.
Xemnas appeared in front of him, the others had drifted out of the locker room already, "Saix, if you don't want to play, you don't have to, but we need all the help we can get. Between Sephiroth and Setzer we have some real competition. Granted, it's all in good fun, but it'll still be nice to say we were the only ones who beat Sephiroth."
Saix shook his head, "It's not that, but the last . . . time . . . I played . . ." Saix trailed off remembering that day, second to the last game of the season, they had won, were headed to nationals.
"Saix?" Xemnas placed a gentle hand on his cheek and looked him in the eyes, "Saix, what is it?"
"He died that day, Lea died after the game. He had a heart condition, but no one knew and in all the excitement, it stopped and- Saix couldn't continue, there was a lump blocking his throat. He hadn't told anyone about this and he hadn't shed a tear at the funeral. Even though they had been dating, no one knew because Saix hadn't wanted them to. Lea had agreed because it was what Saix wanted.
Xemnas said nothing, simply enfolded Saix in his arms while the blue haired man silently cried into his shoulder.
After a few minutes Saix pulled away and composed himself.
"I understand if you don't want to-
"I'll play. It's been a while and like you said I never do anything for fun anymore. I'll play." When Xemnas smiled at him, Saix returned the smile as the back of his mind noted that it would be rather difficult if he couldn't remember how to breathe.
Overall the game went well. It was discovered that Cloud was as good as Sephiroth. It was decided that Zexion's boyfriend, Demyx was part fish for how well he moved in the water. Vexen wasn't as cold as everyone thought, but he still maintained that the water should have been colder. The teams tied in the end and a great deal of money was raised for the children's hospital. And Saix was still damn good at blitz ball, he also remembered what Lea had told him one day when Saix had been down.
"Saix, if you don't like the way things are, change them and if you can't then maybe you're not doing the right thing."
Saix nodded to himself as he slipped his shirt back on, if he didn't like the prospect of doing to same thing day in and day out, he could change that.
"Come on, Saix, I'll drive you back to your car."
"Actually, Xemnas, could you drop me off on 8th and Flurry?"
"Sure."
At the house, Xemnas pulled off his helmet, "Saix, do have any plans for this Sunday, for the soiree?"
"Not sure anymore. Why?"
"Would you considering accompanying me then?"
A strange smile made its way across his face, "I'd love to." He breathed as that strange sensation fluted through him again. Xemnas's answering smile made that even stronger. For a long time they just stayed there, Saix standing a few feet from Xemnas on his bike, smiling at each other.
"Saix! Are you gonna stand on my sidewalk all day or are finally gonna to come talk to me after six fucking years!" A red head shouted from the open screen door.
Saix mouthed "See ya." To Xemnas before turning and walking up to Axel, Lea's younger brother. To Saix's great surprise the irritated red head threw his arms around Saix in an enthusiastic hug once they were inside. Saix returned the embraced and for several minutes they each held on to the only other person who had been important in Lea's life.
For several hours they talked, played old video games, talked some more. Saix finally departed with Axel's words of "Come by next week or I'll kick your ass."
Laughing Saix acquiesced and walked the few blocks to his car with a smile on his face. By the time he arrived home it was three in the morning.
He slept through most of Saturday, finally waking around four in the evening. For once he didn't immediately get up to go do something. He lounged in bed, reviewing the day before. Xemnas taking him to the blitz ball match, telling Xemnas about Lea. Talking to Axel after six years. It felt like the hollow spot in his chest wasn't quite so hollow anymore. Saix spent that evening doing things and going to places that he hadn't done in years. He crashed around midnight, knowing that he would need some time to prepare for the soiree Sunday evening.
Ten minutes before Xemnas was supposed to pick him up, Saix rediscovered nervousness. He fixed his hair, straightened his suit, and retied his bowtie in between pacing. When Xemnas pulled up with his motorbike Saix's mouth went dry as cotton. Instead of his usual all black coat, Xemnas wore a black and white leather coat that flared slightly at the hips, but hugged his upper body. Saix grabbed his own coat and put it on mechanically, staring at Xemnas all the while. Just as the silver haired man was about to knock, Saix opened the door with a smile.
"Hey." He greeted shyly.
Xemnas smiled, "Hey."
For several moments he just stood there looking at Saix until the blue haired man cleared his throat and asked, "Shall we?"
"Maybe we should take your car?" Xemnas looked at Saix's footwear and Saix agreed.
"Car's warmer anyway. Vexen's liable to have turned the thermostat down even more."
"He better not. Marluxia might freeze to death."
Idle jokes and awkward silence filled the ride. When they arrived Saix gallantly opened the car door for Xemnas who smiled and surprised Saix by linking their arms. For once they were not the first ones to arrive. Xigbar and Xaldin were helping Demyx and his band adjust the speakers while Zexion tied up the net that held dozens of red, pink and white balloons at bay. Saix found that he could not stand idly by while others were working and moved to help Zexion while Xemnas let the caterers in. Within a half hour the soiree was in full swing. Saix found that he had been missing a great deal in ditching this party all those years. Sure, the holiday was completely fake, but the love it was known for wasn't. Saix could see it shining in several faces and he now knew why there were three different Greek words for love. Because all love was not alike, but in the end it was all the same.
"Saix, may I have the pleasure of a dance?" Tifa Lockhart asked.
Saix nodded. A few lines into the slow dance Xemnas appeared, "Mind if I cut in?" Without waiting for a reply Xemnas swept Saix away from Tifa who grinned and gave a thumbs to, oh god was that Yuffie?
This can't be good, Saix thought.
"Sorry, I know that was rude, but I couldn't just watch you dance with her." Xemnas's cheek flushed at the admittance.
And suddenly it dawned on Saix that the odd sensation Xemnas caused whenever they touched and the reason he had a hard time breathing whenever the man smiled was because-but he'd only just met him, how could he love someone he'd only just met?
Suddenly Xemnas spoke again, "Saix, I don't know how it's possible or if it's even real, but- Suddenly he stopped.
Saix picked up the thread of sentence that Xemnas had dropped, "Do you believe in love at first sight?"
Stunned, Xemnas halted in his steps and Saix stopped with him, "Actually, I think I do. I love you."
Saix smiled, "Well, that's good. Because I love you, too."
Demyx picked up a new song, one that every couple in the room danced to and for many, such as Cloud and Leon who were often unable to say three little words that song said it all.
"If there were no words, no way to speak, I would still hear you.
If there were no tears, no way to feel inside, I'd still feel for you.
Even if the sun refused to shine, even if romance ran out of rhyme,
You would still have my heart until the end of time.
You're all I need my love, my valentine.
All of my life I have been waiting for all you give to me.
You've opened my eyes and shone me how to love unselfishly.
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before and in my dreams I couldn't love you more.
I will give you my heart until the end of time.
You're all I need my love, my valentine. Lada daa da daa da daa
Even if the sun refused to shine, even if romance ran out of rhyme,
You would still have my heart until the end of time.
Cause all I need is you my valentine, you're all I need my love, my valentine."
Yes, its extremely sappy, i know.