The God's Gift Exchange
On top of the Empire State Building in wonderful snow covered New York, the Twelve Olympians gathered for their yearly gift exchange. Every time December 25 rolled around, they would get their presents ready for the big swap that was highly anticipated.
Zeus started off the night with his gift. "I've brought you all Christmas lights." he said blissfully.
"Er, thanks." Artemis said, without gratitude. "I don't exactly have a house to put them in though. I travel around in with my girls and use tents, remember?"
"Oh, yes. I forgot, Artemis. What do you suggest I do get you? A diamond ring?" Zeus hissed, his face reddening.
"Hey, hey, hey! Let's not start a fight like last year, Zeus!" Athena said, narrowing her grey eyes.
"Fight, fight, fight, fight!" Ares chanted.
"Stop it Ares, no one cares." Athena said, rolling her eyes.
"You should know better then to talk to me like that!" Ares snarled.
"ANYway, here's MY gift!" Dionysus said. "I got you all my finest wine! It's red berries! Mmm!"
"Did you test any of this?" Zeus asked, narrowing his eyes to tiny slits.
"Psst; no I made the brats from camp test it," Dionysus said, waving his hands. As Zeus' eyes just about bugged out of his head, Dionysus calmly replied, "Anyone 21 and older, of course."
"Good." Zeus calmed down.
"I hope you all like my gifts. I made little statues of you all." Hephaestus said. He handed Zeus a statue of himself made out of gold. There was a ribbon on top of his head.
"Ah, thank you, Hephaestus!" Poseidon said, smiling at Zeus' statue. Poseidon waited until Hephaestus was done to begin handing out his gift.
"I got you all sand dollars. They are very rare, and if you are ever stuck in a circumstance like my brave son Percy was, you'll know when to use it." Poseidon said, handing out the sand dollars. "Aphrodite! What have you got for us?"
"Well I got you all some wrinkle remover!" Aphrodite waited for applause, but got none. "Hello? This is a one hundred fifty dollar value! And it's from Sephora! It's called Crease Release! It releases the skin's own natural muscle relaxes to smooth fine lines, wrinkles, crows feet, and signs of stress, with remarkable effects especially around the eyes, mouth, and between the brows!"
"I'm sorry to interrupt you, Aphrodite, but do I have wrinkles?" Apollo asked, taking the mirror at Aphrodite's throne and taking a look at his reflection.
"With all that time you spend in the sun, you are bound to!" Artemis hissed at her brother. "Thank-you, Aphrodite for such a kind gesture."
"Kind gesture my mother!" Apollo said, sticking his toung out
"Apollo! Is that any way to talk about Leto?" Demeter gasped.
"Let's not talk about Leto!" Zeus said, his eyes flashing. The fire all around flared, thanks to Hera.
"Sorry, whatever." Apollo muttered.
"Well, I'm done here!" Aphrodite said, sitting down.
"I shall present my gift then!" Athena said, standing up. She waved her hands and eleven lexicons conjured up out of nowhere.
"Dictionaries?" Ares growled. "You gotta be joking."
"No, I am not joking, Ares. You of all people should improve your vocabulary." Athena retorted.
"I'm perfectly fine with my vocabulary! I probably know more words then you!" Ares challenged.
"Oh really? Then what is staphylococci?" Athena asked.
"Oh, you know … it's that thing … that um … thing … " Ares sighed.
"It's a bacterium that gathers in clusters." Athena said smugly.
"Whatever." growled Ares. "Here's my gift." He reached into the bag at his feet, and pulled out a knife block.
"What would we use this for?" Demeter asked, her face bewildered.
"Hello? You are the goddess of agriculture! You cut up food with it!" Ares said, waving one of the knives in the air.
"Sure, whatever." Demeter muttered. "Here's my gift."
"A wheat grainer?" Zeus put his head in his hands.
"Not just a wheat grainer - I brought you some poinsettias made by my very own daughter Persephone." Demeter said, beaming.
"They are beautiful!" Artemis said, eyeing the red sparkling pants.
"What about the wheat grainer?" Demeter asked.
No one answered so Demeter sat down dejectedly.
"My Hunters have made you quivers that never run out of arrows." Artemis said.
"Finally. A gift with a meaning. Thank-you, Artemis." Poseidon said.
Ares scratched his back with one of the arrows. "Yeah, thanks."
Artemis smiled happily and sat down.
"I made you all e-mails." Hermes said "You know - to keep in touch with your kids."
"Aw, thank-you, Hermes!" Aphrodite said.
"Pollux will be so happy … " murmured Dionysus.
"Can monsters track you with these things? I understand that modern technology such as cell-phones can be tracked." Zeus asked.
"Nope, completely monster free." Hermes explained.
"And now for the RAD-finale!" Apollo stood up, smiling brightly.
"Oh wonderful." Artemis grumbled.
"I made you all books of poetry!" Apollo said.
"Poetry by you? This should be great, Apollo." Athena said, taking a poetry book appreciatively.
"Just wait until you read it, you'll be bored to death." Artemis advised.
"No, you'll be inspired to write some poetry of your own, dude!" Apollo said.
"Well, I've had enough of this insanity. I'm leaving." Poseidon disappeared.
"Me too … " some of the other gods and goddesses murmured.
A/N: I know, then ending is really bad. I never know how to end a one shot … (: