Hello! So, my friends (one of whom is a Merlin fanatic) were sitting around talking about how stupid Snow White (and certain other Disney princesses) were. Suddenly, BOOM! I came up with the BEST plot bunny of ALL time :D
WARNING: EXTREME CRACK ahead, so if you're a die hard Merlin fan, you might not want to read. This is just a drabble written for fun, no insult meant for fans of either Merlin nor Snow White.
I don't on anything!
Snow White and (not) The 7 Knights of the Round Table
"Lalala," sang Snow White in a Mort-From-Madagascar voices as she skipped along. Suddenly, she saw her evil stepmother sitting under a tree with a beautiful black-haired woman beside her.
"Wow, I never knew step-mummy was lesbo… Oh well!" She continued skipping through the woods.
"Thanks for introducing me to Aithusa, baby sis! Best pet everrr…" Step-mummy sang to her sister Morgana.
"Of course, of course," Morgana brushed it off. Suddenly…
"OH SNOW WHITE, SNOW WHITE, WHEREFORE ART THOU SNOW WHITE? FOR IT IS THE EAST AND SNOW WHITE IS THE….erm, Merlin, what is she supposed to be again?" Arthur's seemingly impressive gallop through the forest died down.
"The sun," Merlin answered dutifully before muttering "idiot…" under his breath.
"Oh right, FOR IT IS THE SUN AND SNOW WHITE IS THE EAST!"
Rolling his eyes, Merlin didn't even bother correcting Arthur before running after Arthur and his new horse, Horsey, again.
Meanwhile…
"Stupid Arthur, how dare he divorce me!" screamed Gwen. You know the saying; hell hath no fury like a woman scorned…
"That fickle young king Arthur's going after Snow White- you know, the tart who lives with seven men who mine jewels?" A random passer-by commented to his friend.
With that, an evil yet brilliant idea started forming in Gwen's curly hair-covered mind.
Arthur and Merlin had finally caught up with Snow White in her house, and Arthur and Snow White skipped off to her bedroom almost immediately. A dwarf came up to Merlin and held a pick against Merlin's groin (because the dwarf was short like that).
"I smell the magic in you! You will use it to help us mine, got it?"
Fearing his manhood, Merlin swallowed and nodded.
Five days later…
Humming to herself and dressed head to toe in a black cloak, Gwen sneaked into the dwarves' house and stole all of their jewels which Merlin had magically extracted from the ground for them.
One day later…
"The jewels are gone!" A dwarf yelled. All seven narrowed and said in unison
"MERLIN."
Just then, Merlin bustled into the room. Before he could react, the dwarves jumped him and killed him.
Then the world exploded and everyone else died too.
Gwen had just sold her jewels at that same time and became very rich and gay (pun intended), and everyone lived happily ever after.
Except for Merlin because he was dead.
The End! :D
PS, review please! This story was so much fun to write :DD