She ran as fast as she could down the halls of the palace. She had to get away. The pain was unberable. The nightmares plagued her night and day. She needed to clear her head. Running to the point of exhaustion seemed to be her only escape. She avoided everyone. At least everyone that reminded her of the mission and everything she lost on that terrible mission. She turned to the dark. Her only comfort was in that darkness. She knew what was happening, yet she didnt care. It felt so good, made her feel so much better. She was just numb. She was alone. No one would understand what she was going through.
Her two treasures, the lights of her life, had been taken. Both on the same day. First her heart was broken in two. Then very shortly afterwards, her soul was wrenched in half. Her brothers. Her twin and younger brother. Images went through her mind as she ran. Exploring the underworld of Coruscant, making a droid, Centerpoint station, finding Zekk, their first days at the Jedi Academy, Anakin joining them, helping Jacen with his many pets, Lando's Folly, their "vacation" on Duro; the good memories are always first. Next came the many kidnappings, being constantly under attack, Chewbacca dying, Dad leaving, and then their deaths. It seemed like it was on a loop, running over and over again. A voice kept repeating, its your fault. You could have saved them. And it was right.
She continued running, tears now streaming down her face. She ran until she came to an open field and made sure she was alone. She dropped to her knees and cried. 'I could have saved them. I should have. If only I had made Anakin rest after his wound was treated. He would still be here and Jacen wouldnt have rushed off to save him. Its all my fault they're gone.' "Its all my fault." She fell over on to the soft grass and curled up. She continued to cry until sleep overcame her. The best kind of sleep; dreamless.