Babble Fish-
[Summary] A missing Scene from Evening of Generals. The men are looking for someone to cater the dinner but also speaks fluent German. This is what happens.
….
Hogan and the men were in his office. "We need someone who can cater."
Lebeau went to speak up.
"And speak fluent German." Hogan said before the Frenchman could speak.
Lebeau relaxed and leaned back again.
"Do you think there is anyone in the barracks?" Newkirk asked.
Hogan crossed his arms. "Not likely but we can check."
Hogan and the men moved into the common room and looked around. "Alright come around men." Hogan said.
The men moved their attention to their colonel.
"Is there any one who is capable of catering and can speak fluent German?"
No one said anything, then a man stepped out. "Sir, I can do it." He said saluting.
Hogan looked back at his four men then back at the man. "You can speak fluent German?" That was what he was more concerned about than the actual catering, not like the Germans would actually be able to eat the food when they were blown sky high.
"Yes Sir, I can also speak Russian, Polish, Italian, Spanish, French, Latin and Greek." He paused.
Hogan was impressed. He'd definitely have to consider bringing this fellow along on more missions.
"Not to mention English of course, British, Welsh, Irish, Scottish, American; North, south, East West and Central. I also speak Australian, Canadian, The English adaptation of Hawaiian, the current language of the Philippines-" He continued naming off countries that all spoke the same language.
Hogan stopped and looked at his men. This guy had to be pulling their leg.
"Along with the current language of Atlantis."
The current language of Atlantis? Newkirk shrugged at his CO's questioning look and said, "Blub, Blub?"
"Oh! And Londinian!"
"Londinian?" Hogan asked. "What country is that?"
"London."
Hogan smacked his forehead. Great.
"London isn't a country, it's a city." Newkirk said annoyance evident in his voice.
Hogan knew the Englander was insulted.
"What are you talking about? Of course it's a country, where have you been?" The man looked at Newkirk like the Englander was a complete idiot.
Kinch and Carter had to hold Newkirk back from punching the guy in the nose.
Hogan sighed. "Alright," Hogan paused and said, "Kann du bist sprechen Deutsch?"
The man looked at Hogan with complete confusion. "Huh?"
Hogan closed his eyes. This guy was no help. He opened them again. "I was speaking German."
The man looked at Hogan. "No, no I'm pretty sure that was Ancient Egyptian."
All the men groaned at once.
"I can also speak Jamaican!" the man said proudly.
"Now there's an actual language!" Newkirk said throwing his hands up in the air. And he was right! Jamaican was its own language.
"I thought you said you could speak German." Kinch said casually.
"I can, it's you guys who can't speak German."
Newkirk looked at Hogan silently pleading with him to let him knock some sense into him. Hogan patted his shoulder. "Relax."
"What about Russian?" Carter asked. "Say something in Russian."
"Alright." the man was clearly arrogant. "Da, nyet, Romanov, Anastasia gonov-"
"Mate, you've gonov alright; gonov the deep end." Newkirk said interrupting him.
The man scowled.
The men didn't even know if gonov was a Russian word at all.
"Newkirk-" Hogan said warningly. So, to this guy, if you speak a few words of any language you speak it fluently. Ridiculous.
"Blimey, do you even know what language your speaking?" Newkirk asked ready to knock the guy's lights out.
The man stood straight and looked at Newkirk indignantly. "Of course I do!"
"Oh Good!" Carter said relieved.
"Oh really what is it?" Newkirk asked.
"It's-"
"Forget it!" Hogan said interrupting. "I don't care, come on men." He didn't want to see just how truly stupid this guy was, let alone have a fight break out.
The men followed Hogan down into the tunnel. They would need a man who COULD speak fluent German and cater. No doubt the man up there couldn't even boil water.
Hogan had Kinch get on the radio and contact the underground for such a man as they needed.
Hogan learned one thing; never ask people how many languages they speak they'll think you mean, 'how many languages can you at least speak one word in'. That would be about every major language for just about anyone. Oh, well…
[AN] I know I know, but my sister and I somehow got talking about this topic. And we were laughing so hard about it I just had to write a quick fic about it I used actual lines we said and combined it into a missing scene! I hope you liked it. EDIT: Okay i added a few lines in her about Jamacian that I forgot to add before. You know Jamaican should have its own Rosetta Stone Program. Haha! I'm serious actually. Please R&R.