Onirei: Note of warning: This story makes NO SENSE.If there seem to be pieces/parts missing, use your imagination.And it takes place before the game. (nods)

Riku: Hi.

Onirei: HEY! GET BACK IN YOUR KENNEL!

Riku: But I have to do the disclaimer.

Onirei: Oh. Disclaim away.

Riku: She doesn't own Kingdom Hearts. Or me.

Onirei: (glare)

"This blinding passion! I've never felt it before in my entire fourteen years of existence!"

"Sora, what are you doing as my house?" Riku asked.

"My crap-tastic DVD player won't play subtitles!" Sora replied, clutching his copy of Advent Children.

Riku snatched it. "Where'd you get that?"

"Import," Sora grinned.

"Uh—Sora?"

"Yes?"

"Did it ever occur to you that, A—this is a Japanese DVD and thus would not have English subtitles, and B—the Japanese use a different sort of DVD player then us?"

Sora's face fell.

-----

Half an hour later Riku's mother walked into her living room to find Riku passed out on the floor, half of her couch chewed to bits, and Sora moping and sucking his thumb in the corner.

Riku sat up groggily. His mother was pointing to the couch and trying to form words, but nothing was coming out.

"Ah..Sora got a little upset."

-----

The next day Riku, Kairi, Selphie, Tidus and Wakka were eating lunch in the shack.

"I heard Sora got grounded." Selphie said.

"Yup," Riku answered. "He ate half of my couch. I feel partially responsible because I couldn't pull him off it."

"Don't blame yourself Riku," Kairi said, taking a bite of her sandwich. "You know it's impossible to remove Sora from something once he's got his mouth fixated on it."

Wakka still look slightly shocked. "He ate a couch, ya?"

"Well..more like he chewed it up and spat it out." Riku answered.

"Ew," both Kairi and Selphie said.

"Disgusting," Tidus muttered.

Selphie raised an eyebrow. "This coming from the guy who soaked a banana in seawater and then ate it, peel and all."

-----

"PLLEEEAASE, Mom?"

"No."

"PLEEEEASE?"

"NO! Sora, we've been over this a hundred times. Chewing up other people's upholsteries counts for AT LEAST a three-day grounding!"

Sora bounced up and down. "But tomorrow everyone's taking the ferry to the mainland to check out the new smoothie place!"

"You don't like smoothies, Sora."

"Yes I do!"

"Oh really?" She glared at him. "Then how come you never drink mine?"

Sora refrained from telling her it was because there were fist-sized pieces of fruit floating around that got stuck in his straw and made him gag. "Um..I do.." he offered pathetically.

-----

Everyone (except Sora) met up at the dock at six AM the next day. They took the ferry to the new smoothie shop and had a fun day, except for when Kairi and Selphie had to beat off some girls with sticks. (They were oozing all over Riku.)

On the way home, the three guys were leaning up against the boat railing while Kairi and Selphie talked. And talked.

Riku narrowed his eyes. "Don't girls ever shut up?"

"No, ya." Wakka replied.

"STOP SAYING 'YA!" Riku screamed.

Tidus glanced around, bored. Riku throttling Wakka wasn't exactly new to him. He leaned back and yawned. Wait—oops.

"OH MY GOD!" Kairi screamed. "TIDUS FELL OFF THE BOAT!"

-----

"EEEEK!" First Mate Aerith screamed. "Captain Cloud, MAN OVERBOARD!"

Cloud, being the good captain he is, dove off immediately. Unfortunately, he dove off the wrong side.

"Ugh," Aeris muttered. "Vincent, stop the boat!" she yelled.

-----

Vincent stopped pedaling. "Thank God," he panted. "Oh yes Vincent, we'll have the boat engine repaired soon! Stupid Cloud, he just wants to save on GAS MONEY!"

-----

The boat docked on Destiny Islands a short time later. Riku, Wakka, and Tidus walked onto the pier.

"Uh, where are the girls, ya?" Wakka asked as Tidus continued wringing out his shirt.

Riku jerked a thumb towards the boat. "Oozing all over the captain."

Tidus shuddered. "I can't believe he gave me mouth-to-mouth!"

Wakka patted him on the back. "Good thing you were unconscious then, ya?"

Riku twitched.

-----

Sora's mom knocked on her son's door. Receiving no answer, she walked in to find him chewing on his pillow in the corner.

"Sora…" she started, the ripped the pillow out of his mouth and thwacked him with it. "Stop acting like a teenage girl!"

Sora blew raspberries at her.

"Here," she said. "I made you a smoothie."

He looked down at the—drink. Two whole blueberries rose to the surface and stared back at him.

"Thanks Mom."

She hit him again. "What's with the sarcasm?"

--

"There was an unfortunate accident at sea today," came a voice from the TV. "A young boy fell off the side of the ferry, and.."

"HEY!" Tidus screeched to the reporter. "You're making it seem like I'm dead!"

"Yeah!" Wakka chimed in. "Tell it like it is, ya?"

"STOP SAYING 'YA', GAWDDAMMIT!" Riku screamed.

In the background, Kairi and Selphie were fawning over Cloud and Aeris was beating them back with a stick.

--

"See mom?" Sora said. "I would have been on TV!"

Said momsighed and exited the room. She had her 'good child' to attend to. Wait—she didn't have a good child. Dammit.

Sora pouted and took a sip of his smoothie, getting a hunk of strawberry for his trouble.

---

The End

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