..So this came out (no pun intended) of my currently stressful schedule and my tendency to pull several all-nighters in a row for homework. And that I would consistently happen to glance at the clock at 8:13 exactly. I concluded that I needed therapeutic AkuRoku. My homework can suck it (pun intended). If you happen to read Virus or Nothing's Call, I hope this tides you over until I can get back to them. It will happen. Soon. Zis is a three(andahalf)shot so should not take up too much of my life.
The characters and Kingdom Hearts in general are not mine. Witty remark.
Warning: If you're looking for a sparkly romance you're in the wrong place. This is bromance all the way, my friends. Also there's gay sex in it. If that bothers you... why are you here?
Axel and Roxas had been friends for a long time – too long, Axel often said. It was just one of those really goddamn eternal friendships that had started so long ago the two had been too young to remember what actually happened. They could have been born like that, for all they knew, and they would probably die like that... or at least be crotchety old men in rocking chairs together.
The earliest thing Roxas could clearly remember was the two of them trying to learn to skateboard when they were far too young. Axel fell a lot and dragged Roxas down with him. They were both pretty roughed up by the end of the day, and according to Roxas's mother (he had forgotten this part, himself), the blonde boy had one hell of an infected cut after that. There was still a faint scar on his right hip from it, and he made sure to never let that one go. Roxas eventually got the hang of it, and he spent most of his young life travelling by that board. Axel swore off the thing forever, claiming it was out to get him.
Axel was a little older – two years, six months, a week, and four days to be exact – so he remembered some of the earlier stuff. He had some vague memories of Roxas when he was just a toddler, but the earliest thing he could make sense of... well, it wasn't that monumental. They were at his childhood home (he'd since moved across the city, closer to Roxas) on the old couch, watching cartoons. He remembered Roxas pouring juice on him and laughing until he realised Axel was actually upset. He hadn't been that mad about the juice on himself, it was more what had spilled on his dog and the couch, which his mom would murder him for.
In third grade, Roxas was in the hospital for a couple weeks surrounding surgery. Axel - who was in fifth grade at the time - visited him the first day of recovery and brought him chocolate, which Roxas couldn't eat. Axel sat next to him all day, eating is damn chocolate, but keeping him entertained in his sedative-high state. Axel came back any day he could after that.
The next year Axel jumped him and started punching him for a reason so stupid he couldn't even remember it now. Roxas reacted and threw just as many punches back. They rolled around on the schoolyard, whaling on one another until the teachers came and broke it up. That was their first real physical fight, as well as their first suspension. They stayed pissed at each other for a total of forty-eight hours, and then came back to school laughing at each other's bruises.
Later that year, Axel got sick at Roxas's tenth birthday and threw up onto his plate during dessert. He spent the rest of the day in the bathroom, feeling too awful even to drive home. Roxas wasn't too upset about his birthday; he felt worse for Axel, who on top of being sick was embarrassed for being unable to hold his stomach in public like a baby. He stayed with the redhead in the bathroom the entire time, covering his ears whenever he stuck his head back in the toilet. Roxas ended up getting the same stomach virus a couple days later, but he knew it was his own fault. After they both felt better they made a deal over the phone to pretend to be sick one more day. That was the first time they skipped school intentionally, messing around on Roxas's computer and playing basketball in the adjoining park. Roxas, as it turned out, wasn't feeling quite up to speed and nearly had to stop to heave again during their game.
In their weird years following, they ended up being the most emotional of their lives. Axel entered the eighth grade as his dog died and Roxas was there for him. Axel was there while Roxas tried to work out his shit over his brother Sora - older by exactly one year – for who-knew how long. Axel never said it, and Roxas never brought it up, but they both knew that Roxas had always felt inferior to his brother - more skilled in just about everything and with fewer problems. Rather than sort things out by asking Roxas how he felt about it, Axel just found ways to subtly assure him that he meant a hell of a lot more than his brother did, at least to him.
The years that Axel was in high school before Roxas, he went out of his way to tell him all kinds of horror stories about it. After two years of that, the younger boy was hardly willing to go at all. Then his first day went perfectly except for nearly being trampled in the cafeteria (which that same redhead saved him from). He was not impressed with Axel's lies, but Axel found it quite hilarious. He got back at Axel by becoming far more popular than him through high school. Then it seemed to be almost an act of charity to hang out with him, but he certainly did more than any other friend.
That first year of high school was the year that Roxas came out to Axel. He wouldn't tell another person at least a year, he didn't trust them. Axel had never needed to come out, he liked guys and that was just sort of how it had always been, but he understood what Roxas was going through. They sat there in Axel's dark basement bedroom, almost unmoving, for hours after Roxas blurted it out to him. That was the first and so far the only time he'd ever seen Roxas cry (in memory anyway, he must have when he was a very young).
High school wasn't a particularly good time for Axel, in terms of his home life (but is it good for anyone?). His parents couldn't handle his spontaneous and sometimes aggressive behaviour. Roxas gave him a place to stay those nights he needed to get away from them and occasionally took a punch to help him work out his frustration. When Axel got the tattoos on his face and the earring, he was there supporting him, not getting all freaked out about how he was changing. Axel was the kind of guy who was always moving, always trying to do something else and he didn't have patience for those who didn't keep up. Fortunately, Roxas was skilled in that regard; he got bored easily. Probably why they worked together so well all those years instead of falling apart as they matured.
Those times with Axel's family as well as Roxas's issues with Sora and his identity were the first times they got drunk together. Really drunk, not just sneaking their parents alcohol and making a lame attempt to replace it with water. It was impossible to remember how many times they stayed up at one of their houses or at a party or in that old park, collapsed and lethargic next to each other. Those nights never ended up clear exactly in the morning. Through the years, Axel was a bigger partier than Roxas because of the misfit friends he'd made, but he'd usually end up calling Roxas to come and find him by the end of the night anyway.
They entered college in the same year because Axel took a couple years off to work and see if he could figure out what to do with his bum life. He ended up going for English anyway. Roxas was in political science, still overshadowed by his brother who went to university. But it was decent.
They'd literally been together through it all. They were friends through each other's horrible phases of listening to this and wearing that and they had more embarrassing blackmail on each other than they could possibly use in a lifetime. The two of them couldn't remember how many times they'd seen each other naked, cheated off each other's work or gotten the other out of an especially stupid situation. They were pretty much as close as two people can get without having a dramatic love confession in the rain or any of that bullshit.
After college, which seemed to be a lot less eventful (or maybe that was the partying again), Roxas got a job and they scraped enough for an apartment together. Axel held jobs for a while, but his degree was pretty much useless and they didn't last long. With so many years of friendship, it would be difficult to find the most interesting story to tell. There would be a slight disturbance in their friendship, though not quite a change, with Roxas now twenty-two and Axel twenty-five.
Morning. Mornings sucked. Axel rolled in his bed (futon), no longer comfortable but still unwilling to get up to a day that would surely be filled with nothing. Whatever was making noise outside his cave-like bedroom was going to lose something vital sometime soon. Reluctantly he stuck his head out from his blanket cocoon. He could feel the hilarious bedhead he was sure to have and it didn't make him any more enthusiastic about getting up. His head flopped onto his pillow, misplaced at some point during the night and he dared open his eyes. The clock read 5:21 PM. Oh. Well. Evenings sucked.
The noise outside... it burned, but he was grudgingly starting to regain his senses. Keys being put down, a heavy end-of-the-day sort of sigh. Must have been Roxas, he was usually home by about that time.
Aw hell, now he had to wake up. Roxas already made fun of him for being a freeloader, and if he slept through the entire day he was at work, he'd never hear the end of it. His head spun as he sat up, bleary and disoriented. He hated rushing the moment after he gained consciousness. He rubbed his eyes, trying to force them into seeming alert. Okay now, act natural.
He flung his bedroom door open, with a far-too-cheerful, "Welcome home!" Damn it, he never said that. That would make him a housewife or something.
Roxas raised an eyebrow at the amazing height reached by Axel's bright red tumbleweed or rat's nest thing. "Nice hair, Ax. Did you just wake up?"
"Mnuh...?" Having no mirror, Axel tilted the back of a DVD up. Huh. That was embarrassing. "I'm insulted, this is a fashion statement."
"Uh-huh. I asked you to pick up your shit from last night while I was at work..." He stopped Axel before he could interrupt, "Don't worry about it now. I'm heading out for coffee, and I guess I can take your mooching ass with me."
"Coffee..." He sounded like he'd just found an oasis after crawling through the desert for years. Not exactly intelligent. He shook the wakefulness into his head. Right. Awake. Awake to get coffee. Coffee good. "Sweet, uh, I'm going to fix my hair and get dressed. Unless you'd like me to go as I am." He wiggled his eyebrows and hips flirtatiously.
"Believe it or not I still have some pride." Roxas went to sit at their pathetically small kitchen-slash-dining-room-slash-whatever table. "You could stand to shower too, but I don't have that kind of patience. The longer I wait, the closer I come to fainting dead on the floor."
'Yeah, me too' Axel wanted to say, but that would probably get him decked quite suitably. He was a growing boy (not really) - he needed a lot of sleep! Also, he had no job and no life, so what the hell did he need to be awake for? Unfairness aside, he settled on the safest course of action, "No time. Fixing hair now."
"Shoo then." Roxas waved him toward the bathroom. Axel wavered, made a precise quarter-turn and sort of zombied his way to the half opened door, which he pushed open with his forehead. He wasn't that tired, Roxas knew, he was just being a drama queen.
There was something on the table – a slip of paper. Roxas, pre-emptively guessing what it was, flipped it up. Another notice that their phone service would soon be cut if they didn't pay. Brilliant. He could have paid it if he hadn't covered Axel's part of the rent last month while he looked for a job. Now what? Even if he worked overtime he wouldn't be able to make that and this month's rent. How long would they be able to keep this place?
By all standards of those fresh out of college, it was a pretty good apartment. It was eighth floor of a ten-floor building, with a fantastic view of the other apartment building just behind theirs and the small courtyard-type area in between where only old people hung out. There was a bedroom for each of them, a bathroom that worked, and then a sort of communal kitchen, dining room, living room, front room hybrid. But it suited them. It wasn't as though either of them were huge on privacy. They'd had a bit of help from Roxas's parents in paying for it (okay, more than a bit), but they now had full responsibility over expenses. And if Axel didn't get some goddamn cash flow soon they would be out on their collective ass. Roxas wasn't eager to ask to stay with his parents and Axel... he was probably the only one who would take Axel in, which didn't bode well for him. Stupid leech in friend's clothing.
As if he didn't have enough on his mind today. Roxas slumped his head on the table. He had to get changed. Casual clothing. The button up shirt and slacks bit wasn't really the image he wanted to go out for coffee. But he wanted sleep. Bah, Axel. Getting to sleep whenever.
And speak of the fuckin' devil... or devil's voice in the bathroom, "Hey Rox?"
He flopped his head to the side for purposes of being comprehensible. "Yeah?"
"My hair gel turned into a rock overnight so I'm using yours. Where is it?"
Roxas didn't want to know how that was possible. He'd been that walking disaster's friend for twenty-odd years, and he was capable of far more baffling things. "I thought you didn't like mine. Doesn't make your hair shiny."
There was a pause. Axel saw his point. "Yeah, but it's that or go out looking like the little friggin' mermaid. Where is it?"
"Uh, one of the drawers on the right. I think the bottom one... or the middle one. Don't get your hair in it." He pressed his face down again at the expense of his nose.
"Aye aye. Are you getting dressed?"
"I'm getting there." He dragged himself off the chair and towards his room. He resisted the easy temptation of grabbing some clothes off the floor from... he didn't know, some time after last laundry day.
"Well wait for me to be done, I don't want to miss the show." He was teasing, obviously. He knew Roxas looked damn fine naked, but even he wouldn't mess with a taken man. This was just allowed because of how close they were, though. As was occasional groping. At least those were the rules he'd made up.
Roxas rolled his eyes, pushing his bedroom door open and leaving it as he grabbed a pair of khaki cargo pants, some t-shirt with a grey-red-black design thing, and a long sleeved shirt for underneath. He sat back on his bed, not caring enough to close the door as he kicked off the dress pants (he made sure to fold these properly, he'd be in hell if he wrinkled his work clothes) and slid into regular-person clothes.
It was impossible to tell who finished getting ready first. Roxas had just finished putting his socks on as Axel left the bathroom, hair looking normal (relative statement) and somehow, though he hadn't seen him grab clothes, dressed head to foot in black.
Axel leaned against the doorframe, looking down on him. He loved towering over his midgety blonde friend. "Do I have to bring my miserable, starving wallet?" He attempted some kind of pout, which was a damn sight more frightening than endearing, to tell the truth.
"If you don't, we're walking. I'm not paying for your bus fare and your coffee."
"Hm. That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. I'll walk to save the five-ish bucks."
Roxas levelled his gaze. "Really, how noble of you."
"I'm saintly, what can I say?"
The younger man had to break a smile at that. He was good at being petulant usually, endlessly sarcastic and defensive, but Axel made him loosen up. Figuratively. "Let's go before we both pass out."
"Here here." Axel shoved his own key in his pocket before following Roxas out into the hallway.
And the walk between was nothing notable.
The coffee shop was pretty cramped. It was independent; nothing fancy, hip, or expensive – words that always seem to travel together. It was usually too hot in there because the ventilation sucked, and the walls were this weird car-part-grey colour that made it look either old-timey or just cheap. Their stuff was decent to a couple of fresh grads with a single income. It was always somehow packed with people though, and it always lived up to its promise of good-enough non-illegal wake up juice.
Embarrassingly, Roxas had to tuck his feet around the support beam of the far-too-tall stool when they couldn't touch the ground. Axel, giant beanpole freak that he was, had no issues of the sort. At least he had the warm caffeine saviour between his hands, and he curved over it, the heat brushing his eyes and at the very least tricking him into feeling more awake.
"You going to drink it or bathe in it?" Axel sipped his iced coffee. Always with the iced coffee, any time of the year. He didn't like hot food or drinks, his internal temperature was already unusually high. Suited Roxas just fine - he seemed incapable of holding any body heat, himself.
"Shut up. I'm meditating." Slowly, he sat back up, finally pouring the burning, bitter liquid down his throat. Painful, disgusting magnificence.
"How do you drink it like that anyway?" Axel leaned in his seat, throwing an arm over the back.
Ugh, best friend roommates were distracting him from caffeinated nirvana. "Like what?"
"With nothing in it. I already know you're no fun, but no sense of taste either?"
"Shows what you know." He held it close. It was so much more precious to him than any old lifelong friend was. "It's the only right way to drink it; strong. No milk, sugar, or anything diluting the taste. How do you wake up if you just taste cream instead of coffee? Has to be as hot as possible too – scalding, even. Who cares if it tastes good?"
Axel took a long drink from his, watching Roxas over the cup. "You should write that down: Ode to Cheap Espresso. Maybe you could sing it when Dem's band does their next gig."
His most despised talent. Roxas could sing, and he could sing damn well. It wasn't his fault - he was born with it. His mom made him do kiddie concerts when she learned, which he got out of at the first opportunity. He really wanted everyone to just forget about that, but Axel wouldn't let him forget. So, alternatively, he flipped him off. He just gave Roxas that goddamn Cheshire grin.
"You know I'm just going to take that as an invitation." He purred in some messed up attempt at being seductive.
Roxas didn't give him the satisfaction of reacting, just setting his cup down. "So anyway. Uh... Hayner and I broke up."
"...What? Seriously?"
Roxas shrugged. "Mhm. Over lunch today." He and Hayner worked in the same area, so often a few people would get together for lunch. Today had been just the two of them. Yeah, awkward.
"Oh... Shit. That sucks." Okay, so that wasn't the most helpful thing Axel could say, but how the hell else do you respond to your friend's break up?
The blonde sipped his coffee again with an absent noise. "Not really, it was going that way for a while. We want different things."
"Different things like he wanted more time together or different things like he wanted you to pull his hair and call him 'Cowboy'?"
"Closer to the first one. Also he sucked at being on the bottom."
Axel grinned. This sounded more like the Roxas he knew. "Yeah?"
"Yeah, he'd get all whiny whenever we switched up."
"Huh, and he always seemed like kind of a bitch to me."
Roxas snorted, nearly choking on his coffee and spilling it everywhere. "Whatever, we'll be friends in a few more days. I'm not bitter. Annoyed that I held out this long when things weren't changing, but not bitter."
"Huh. You wanna... go out for drinks later anyway? Make you feel better."
He considered. The break up wasn't one of those which required getting drunk. He liked drinking after work, though, when he didn't have to be there the next morning. It made unwinding from a week that much easier. "Why the hell not. Uh, how are you paying?"
Axel froze, then melted into that kind of face-punch-provoking smile. "You could... uh... be my sponsor?"
"Your sponsor." He paused, as though thinking, just to make Axel squirm. Like he would actually turn down a drink once it had been offered, even if he was paying. "Sure, except let's just get our own - I don't feel like being in a bar tonight."
"Fine by me, let's go."
"What, right now?"
"Yeah now, it's late enough." There was a liquor store a couple blocks from here, Axel was pretty certain, and his iced coffee seemed to be less appealing by the minute. Also he'd forgotten to mention to Roxas that he had a job interview in the morning so being up all night drinking would be somewhat detrimental to that sort of... success thing he wanted... maybe even being hired. Maybe. Whatever, he'd remember to tell him later.
Roxas figured he was awake enough. It wasn't as though this was unusual for them, changing their plans for the night on a whim. Roxas kind of liked that he didn't know where he'd end up by the end of the night, provided it was one of those nights. His hands found their way to his pockets and he left his coffee on the table (what? The cashiers were paid to do things like that. It wasn't his job). Axel grabbed his younger friend around the shoulders, almost pushing him out the door.
Roxas words were a bit of a mess by now. "You know... you know what else?"
"What else?"
"Hayner... He's always checking out Seifer. Always."
The two friends sprawled next to each other on the park's picnic table. It was kind of gross, and there had probably been any number of unspeakable things done on top of it, but it was a great place to flop onto when you'd been parading about the town with bottles and bottles of alcohol for the better part of the night. Axel liked getting drunk in the park, it left more opportunities for funny shit to go down. Roxas just wanted to be outside for the night.
Axel had completely forgotten his interview at this point. Who cared about employment? Beer.
"Seriously?" Axel laughed with a messy sort of grin. "Knew those two had it in for each other."
"Mm," Roxas raised his (how many was it now? He couldn't remember) bottle in a mock-toast, "Everyone knows. There's so much sexsh-... sexull-... sexual tension, oh god..." He laughed at himself, unable to believe he'd just stumbled over the word so many times. He wanted another. He thought he should stop, but he still wanted another.
The redhead leaned more against the table, resting his head on Roxas's extended forearm. "Wow Rox, smooth."
"Whatever. Your hair itches."
"Yeah, your hair gel." He paused, looking up at his best friend's flushed cheeks. "You're fucked, man. Think we should head back?"
"Mnehh... Yeah, probably should." Being even more tired tomorrow would suck ass. He wanted the day to... well, do nothing – but be conscious doing nothing! "What do we do about the bottles?"
"I dunno, dump 'em or leave 'em. Park ranger's find them like every morning. They'll do something about it." He started to stand, wrapping a hand around Roxas's bicep and hoisting him. "C'mon, you're not getting up unless you help yourself."
Roxas groaned but relented to standing with Axel's help. He leaned heavily on his taller friend. Man, how did he always smell so good? It was like... kinda incensey the way he smelled like burning spices, not really musky or manly, just spicy. It was exotic and calming melded together, but also sort of sexy. He'd told Axel all this before, who just made fun of him for smelling him of all things, but it was true. Anyone who got close to him claimed the same thing. Sora's friend Kairi used to pretend to be cold all the time in high school so her and her friends could get a hold of one of his sweaters. Creepy, yeah, when you say it like that but case-in-point: he smelled good. That didn't help his leaning problem. Were it not so emasculating and stupid, Roxas would almost be tempted to be carried home, just to bury his ass-drunk face in Axel's shirt and surround himself with the calming feeling, Axel's warmth, and his addictive personal cologne.
"Rox, your face in my ribs is making it hard to walk." He tried not to laugh. Roxas never acted this friendly sober. Sure he'd sometimes fall all over Axel - because apparently he was comfortable despite being no more than bag of bones - but he was more casual, usually punching Axel if he dared comment. No, with the right amount of alcohol in him, it could even be said that Roxas snuggled. And it was funny as hell.
"Mn. Sorry." There, he'd addressed Axel's complaint... that didn't mean he was going to stop.
Somehow Axel dragged his little blonde-... blonde friend, he meant... over to the path. They passed by an assortment of plant life that could be called something between a bush and a forest, but wasn't either entirely. It rustled a bit. This had better not turn into a horror movie.
"Nngh-... Hey, ahh... 'Ku." ... Well, that hadn't come from either of them.
"Shh. Mm, be quiet..."
The two of them had a feeling they knew what was going on and smirked at one another. Roxas straightened up somewhat effectively so they could move around the bush-forest-thing. So this was spying – but who does it in a public park then gets offended by people spying?
Brown. Silver. Spikes and Silk. Riku's face half-buried, appearing to be nosing up Sora's childishly colourful shirt to get a good taste of his chest and navel. Sora's jeans were pushed to his knees, dirt smearing all over the backs of his thighs, and a hand was roaming about in his embarrassingly cartoon-emblazoned boxers. Riku's hand, specifically. Sora didn't seem to know what to do with his hands, for now just hanging on.
... Uh. Right. Voyeurism wasn't so fun anymore.
Axel almost laughed aloud, Roxas just turned away, made quite sober now and not wanting to look at that. Eh, they both figured, let them have their midnight-park-bush romp. They got out of earshot pretty fast, not wanting to be heard and definitely not wanting to hear any more.
Axel looked almost paler than usual. "So... that was weird as fuck. Maybe they were smashed, too." He looked at Roxas, who seemed a little shaken but otherwise fine. Why wasn't he freaking out too? He just saw his brother and his best friend ass-deep in foreplay, was that not distressing? As far as Axel knew, Sora and Riku weren't a couple. Sora had given up on dating Kairi years ago, yes, but those two were always platonic, right? Right?
Roxas didn't answer, so the redhead prodded a little more. "Those two together? You're not getting freaked out yet?"
"Not really. I mean, I really didn't need to catch my brother in the act, but it wasn't that weird."
They turned onto a dark road toward their home. It was too backstreet-like to be granted with proper streetlights, or at least maintained streetlights. And it was deserted entirely by this time. Roxas stepped of the sidewalk and walked heel-toe alone the fading yellow line down the centre. It was so much better to use the middle of the road than the sidewalk – the air even felt better – and they could always just step off to the side if a car came.
Okay, so his little roommate wasn't taking it badly. There was definitely an explanation for that. There had to be. Usually Roxas got all jittery when it came to the strange and less-than-cool things his brother did. So Axel ventured, "When did they hook up? Sora and Riku." (And he couldn't believe he just thoughtlessly used the term 'hook up'. Ugh. Queen moment.)
Roxas gave him a weird look over his shoulder. "I don't know. Never, as far as I know."
Axel didn't like this one-foot-over-the-other way of walking, so he stepped off to the right a bit and strolled on like a normal person. "One night stand? That doesn't seem like them."
"Nah, it's not that, they care about each other too much. They're probably just friends with benefits."
"Friends with benefits, huh?" Axel snorted, almost dismissive. "Still seems fucked up."
"How so? Friends can have sex. Not that it doesn't mean anything. It just doesn't mean 'relationship'."
"Blondie, are you coming onto me? I'm so flattered. But you know..." He held one palm flat open over Roxas's head, "You must be this tall to ride."
Roxas slapped his hand away. "Fuck off, dude. I'm talking theoretics here. I'm getting sick of the 'boyfriend' title anyway, it just screws things up. It has with me and Hayner. Things were cool until we were 'dating', even though we said nothing would change."
"Yeah, and you're drunk-talking right now. Friends with benefits always ends up just like a relationship. Either way they become 'more than friends' right, and somehow there ends up being a break up." Regardless, his eyes roved down Roxas's body. Not that checking him out was even slightly out of the norm. What could he say? He'd made a hot best friend.
"You're looking at it wrong. Sex is like, classified as its own special rite-of-passage thing, but it's not really. You and I both know it's not 'special' or 'beautiful' or all that intimate, in the original sense of the word. You get off and hopefully have fun with it."
"Your point being?" Axel draped an arm around Roxas's shoulders. The topic of conversation wasn't going to make him uncomfortable doing that.
"Think about it. How many times have I treated you to coffee or drinks? I don't do that with every person I meet. And I don't let them use my hair gel, and I really don't get close to them like I do with you." Roxas paused, not wanting to walk and talk at the same time any longer. "What if sex was just another thing we did, between friends, right? When did you last get laid, anyway? Wouldn't it be better to just have your friend help you out than jack off alone all the time? You need to wake up, I get you coffee; You need to get off, I give you a handjob or something. It'd just be helping a guy out, and the kind of thing you can just do when we're hanging out. Get it?"
"I still get the feeling you're saying all of this in a drunken state to get into my pants. You're drunk, horny, and just had a break up. Sorta adds up, man."
Roxas rolled his eyes back. "It's hypothetical, dumbshit. I'm using our situation to make a point. Sora and Riku are probably the same way. ...And I'm not drunk. I'm sociable."
Axel stopped laughing, looking his lifelong friend up and down again. Whatever Roxas said, he was coming onto him. Why was he acting as if he was against that? He was the one always getting in the blonde's space, touching him unnecessarily and occasionally demanding to sleep in his bed. He already knew he had a great ass, and seeing each other naked was nothing new. Actually, take out the friend title and they already acted like they were dating. He'd gone on more 'dates' with Roxas than any of his past relationships combined. He knew the kid so well that... well, he was basically an extension of Axel himself. They shared a past, so no learning or revealing awkward secrets in a narcissistic, self-pitying introduction process. No trying to adapt to someone else, or dealing with them leaving when he didn't try. Did he mention that Roxas had a great ass?
"Well why not?"
"'Scuse me?" Roxas was a bit frozen.
"Why the hell not? Have sex, I mean. Us. Be fuck buddies." He unravelled his arm. "When you think about it, we're both gay, single, roommates and probably just about the closest friends currently living. It's a wonder we haven't done it yet."
The young blonde crossed his arms. "You mean you actually want to do it with me?"
That was a question? Axel snorted a bit. "Yeah, and you want to do me too. Come on, no way we haven't been into each other all these years. By this time it must be required."
That did make sense. And who was Roxas to turn down sex with his gorgeous roommate, especially after the speech he'd just made? "Fine. When we get back?"
"Unless the alleyway interests you."
"You're disgusting." In response, Axel just winked infuriatingly at him and started walking. Roxas had to jog a bit to catch up to him. Fucking long-shank freak.
They turned onto another street. It was going to be a long walk back to the apartment at this rate but taking the bus at this point of the night would be beyond stupid. Walking it was.
They were both thinking about it, so much so that it felt bizarre to take such a long time to get to it. Both knew what they were getting into – well, the physical part, which should be the only part anyway. Man, they should have made this decision closer to home! Now there was this weird anticipation hanging around them and it would sound overeager on either of their parts to bring up anything about it again. But really, how did one know the other would be clean, or prepared? Did they have condoms – oh, of course they had condoms, come on – and lube at home? Fucking implied that they would be going all the way, though no rules had been laid out presently. How was Roxas supposed to know what Axel liked and vice versa? Well, there had been casual mentions before when Axel would come home and describe in far-too explicit detail the awesome thing his most recent partner had done to him, or he'd done to them. Roxas made Axel come with him when he bought anything even mildly kinky because he felt like a total creep doing it alone. That didn't seem all that helpful at the moment, though. Why do you always forget day-to-day conversation when the information actually becomes useful?
"Yo, Rox?"
"Yeah?"
"Uh..." Words dried up in his mouth, he was almost stammering. Changing the subject seemed like a reasonable course of action. He said the first thing which entered his pathetic mind, "Hey, how 'bout we call off the bill on these drinks?"
He didn't know how equally thankful Roxas was for something less awkward to talk about. "...Huh?"
Axel's hands were at his roommate's shoulders, massaging in a way that was borderline sinister, had he been a stranger or something. It was not the friendly, relaxing kind that a massage should be, at any rate. "It's the victory round you promised me for winning our tournament the other day."
He was beyond-fucking-glad that was all Axel meant. "What? You didn't win."
"Oh, but my friend, I did." One of his vice-grip hands let go to flourish in the air. "You forfeited. I won by default."
Roxas slapped the other hand off his shoulder. "I went to bed. I had work in the morning."
"Exactly. You knew you were losing."
"...Fine." He grinned. "When we get home we'll go again. Rematch. Whoever wins is the total and ultimate winner overall."
"Loser?"
He had just the thing in mind. "Loser has to explain to the landlord where rent is this month." He pretty much forgot that they'd been making a deal about who was paying for drinks. He just wanted to play video games.
"You are so fucking on."
The unspoken relief that passed between them seemed to even lighten the air a bit. Though there were rarely secrets they had hidden from each other, the small fear that things might have just changed because of sex seemed to insignificant and frankly girly to mention. Right now things felt normal, more or less. They were the same as they had always been. They could handle this. Nothing would be different. Nothing would be uncomfortable. See brain, how stupid it had been to worry about that?
The sky outside their apartment window was turning to a light indigo, not quite morning light but not the pitch black of nighttime. The buildings were completely blackened, silhouetted on the blue background as the sun lazily considered rising. It was that silent time of day when even the animals wanted everyone to shut up and if a car drove by you sort of assumed they either had to go to work inhumanely early or they were doing something suspicious.
It was hardly silent in their apartment. The small space had been filled with little beeps and clicks and pre-recorded battle cries for several hours now, as well as the two friends' insults, curses and victory shouting.
They'd forgotten all about their conversation.
Axel was half on top of Roxas, trying to throw off his balance and cause the little man on the screen (currently throwing kick combos at a massive rate) to fly into a pixelated abyss.
"Axel you-... ass-... Get off my, ngh-... Aw!" Roxas elbowed him hard in the stomach as his little ninja thing skidded off the platform screaming and the voiceover claimed Axel was the winner. "I'm going to fuck you with this controller, I swear to god!"
Axel would like to see him try. "Yeah? You're talking pretty big for someone who just got their ass handed to them in like every game."
"Every time I was going to win you sat on me. Or fucking groped me. Or farted on me. Cheating prick."
The redhead smiled, both fond and smug, and started scrolling through the commands to start a new round. "That's how I always play; you just don't know how to play against me yet."
Roxas was more tempted than he had ever been to follow through on his threat. He leaned into the couch, picking up his controller (or potential rape device). "Just start the game."
The start-up music played and the camera circled their players, rocking slightly on their feet as though a computer-generated character could actually be eager to fight. The voiceover proclaimed their battle begun and they pressed hard on the stick to run at each other. Not a single punch was landed before Roxas tackled into the real Axel, knocking him onto his back. Axel didn't have a chance at struggling as the nimble young man on top of him had already swung a leg over his shoulder, pinning him.
"Rox, what the-...Mnf!" He couldn't finish his question as Roxas was practically on top of his mouth. Damn it! The fucking sore loser was sitting on his head! They hadn't done this since he was at least ten-... okay, maybe fifteen. Twenty.
Roxas laughed his victory. "This is playing by your rules. If you don't want my balls on your face you're going to have to-" But Axel was a step ahead of him, nudging under the leg of his boxers and doing just as Roxas suggested, sucking boldly on the rough flesh. "Axel!"
It didn't last long, as the blonde kneed him in the head and rolled off. "Ow. What'd you expect? You thought that'd freak me out?" He pushed himself over Roxas. Their now unmoving players went ignored. "Oh my dear Roxas, do you know me at all?"
But he wasn't fighting the redhead or coming up with insults, he just stared at him from his trapped position. "Hey, about tonight? Weren't we supposed to, y'know, have sex?"
Axel paused, having been on the verge of doing something totally degrading like giving him a raspberry. "...Oh yeah. Guess we got kinda distracted." Okay, so that was supremely lame but video games were distracting, especially when he was winning!
"Do you still want to?"
"Yeah, I do."
Silence. Roxas waited for Axel to make some kind of a move, or leave an opening for him to make one. "Kissing would help."
Neither was sure who moved first. It didn't matter. There was a brief, messy clash of nose-to-nose and teeth-to-teeth but a moment of their experienced manoeuvring set that right. Lips moulded the way they were supposed to. It was hardly their first kiss with each other – far from it, actually. But this meant something... or did it? That one was left to be worked out. Lust took priority over thought.
It was a bit overheated, a little too wet, and neither could decide who would take charge. But it was still good. Never let it be said that those boys didn't know what they were doing.
Warm hands slid over Roxas's sides, holding firmly at his hips. It wasn't forceful. Axel really didn't even know he'd done it. He was focused on sweeping his tongue over the corner of his best friend's lips again. He wasn't picking up on the fact that Axel was asking for entry, apparently.
Somewhat frustrated, he murmured against his lips, though his breath was half-stolen by the long kiss. "Come on, Rox, open up."
That hadn't occurred to Roxas, quite honestly. He was so focused on the reality that he was actually kissing Axel. On the way to having sex. With Axel.
Holy shit.
Roxas made a dismissive sound, as if pretending he planned that and opened his lips. He darted his tongue into Axel's warm mouth before he could have the same done to him. There was another struggle of whose-tongue-where before they could slide pleasantly against one another. Movies make it seem like there's a lot more room in there than there really is. Yeesh.
Axel didn't feel much like smart-ass comments anymore. The most sensitive nerves north of his waist were being set off by Roxas's tongue. The almost-ticklish feeling crackled down his spine, settling and burning between his legs. Mm, he'd forgotten the little blonde was this good. He didn't feel the firm hands in his hair until they were already tugging him forward, forcing the kiss deeper. Well. He definitely wasn't against that.
There wasn't much need to breathe, small gasps of air any moment their lips weren't completely connected was enough. Little sound passed between them. There was too much feeling to need to hear anything as it was. Roxas caught Axel's lower lip between his teeth, just tight enough to spark the nerves, and to hold onto it until he claimed it back. The redhead's soft groan surprised him. Hm, so he liked that, did he? He would make sure to store that away for future use.
He didn't have to wait long. Axel dove into his friend's mouth fervently, so much that he pushed the two of them back along the floor a bit. Roxas's foot got caught up in one of the controller cords but he let it be. He wouldn't pull away for that. Axel's hands were pulling him a little higher, aligning their hips against the height difference. He inhaled sharply at being moved. It was a delicious feeling. He was starting to think he'd have a fetish just for Axel's hands. Obligingly, Roxas slid one leg between his, pressing them together as close as possible.
... Well, not quite. Would it lead to that? It still hadn't been answered who would be on top. Did it matter? Neither actually cared, so...
Axel slipped off his shirt. Roxas hadn't been wearing one to begin with. The blonde didn't approve of their lips parting and made up for it by devouring Axel's throat with hard kisses and nips. He sat up a bit so they were level, fingers leaving red spikes and just ghosting over his waist, looking for a place to rest.
"Mm..." Now, he hadn't expected that. Axel always had this idea that Roxas would roll over one in bed though he was so forward in everyday life. He'd been wrong before. And if this was what he got for being wrong, then he gladly admitted defeat. He gave up the struggle with his younger friend and let him roam as he pleased. Roxas's teeth brushed a particularly sensitive nerve and he caught himself moaning again. "Fuck..."
Axel rolled his hips a bit, as if the noises weren't letting him know exactly how good this felt. He rested his lips just barely against the curve of his jaw. Roxas was moving with the man above him, just lightly rocking his body. The moans against his ear made him high. There wasn't room enough to be smug, all he knew was he wanted to hear more. It was a second before Axel noticed his proximity, and took it to his advantage. Lips attached to the appealing swirl, nudging aside blonde spikes and teasing the shell of his ear.
Hands. Teeth. It was too much.
Nowhere near enough. There had to be more stimulation, more pleasure.
Lips. Grinding. Clothing was in the way.
So hot. So hot. Way too hot.
Somewhere, Axel had gotten hold around Roxas's waist again. He was moving them? Where? Couch?
Roxas's head collided with something solid ("Ow, fuck-...") and he bit Axel hard ("What the hell-?"). It seemed they miscalculated and ran him into the couch. He pulled back from their tangle of body parts, dazed. Something fell from the cushion to the floor next to him. His watch?
Ugh, so much for the mood.
Axel moved to shove the offending timepiece out of the way to at least give them room to keep going on the floor. Another minute of this and he'd be too hard to even move without pain. His hand settled over the metal. "It's seven AM?"
Roxas cautioned himself before he could punch his friend for asking something so stupid at a time like this. His head twisted to see the digital display. "Apparently." It burned his eyes a bit. Man, it must have been late... early.
"Wha-... Goddamn!" He moved off of Roxas, dropping back on his ass. "Goddamn and a half!"
"What?" He was stopping? No, not okay! Not okay at all!
"Dude, I have a job interview in like an hour!" He checked the watch. "Less than that."
He couldn't believe this. And yet, it was just like Axel. "You-... Fuck, why didn't you say anything?" He really couldn't have brought this up before they started drinking? Before sex was brought up or maybe before they were halfway-fucking-there? You couldn't leave a guy hot and hard like this! That's not healthy!
"I forgot, alright? I was a little too busy thinking about getting my rocks off."
"No time to remind you you're a moron. Get up, I'll help you get ready." It hurt like hell for Roxas to stand up. Sometimes having a penis is like having a weight between your legs. He held out his hand to help the good-for-nothing redhead to his feet. Not that he deserved it, the asshole.
Axel, scratched his head sheepishly, following after Roxas like a kid who broke a lamp. "I'm sorry, Rox." Now that work had been brought up he was starting to feel sleepy. Maybe he could skip the interview - there were other jobs. ...Probably.
"Don't worry about it. That's not the priority right now." He dragged Axel into his room. They were going to have a hell of a time making him into something that anyone would consider hiring. "Do you have clothes for your interview?"
"Buh...?"
That was expected. "'Kay, find some. I don't care what it is."
Clothes. That's cool. Axel could do that. He made his way to the pile of clothes in front of the near bare closet. He was going to hang them up one day. Just... when he wasn't busy. Okay, shirt. Probably something sort of respectable, y'know, to be hired and all. He couldn't help that he had an affinity for black and the occasional piece of leather. He was sure he had a button-up somewhere from his high school grad...
It took a good few minutes of digging to find the shirt, heavily wrinkled, but good enough. He found his trusty DVD to check his hair. Heh. God, he was sexy.
With no shirt to toss aside, he slipped the unfortunately formal garment on. He went to find briefs – boxers would show over pants. Least the thought of having some fat old guy ask him questions about where he'd be in ten years finally killed his budding erection.
... He'd really have to question himself if that got him hot.
Axel let his boxers drop to the ground, probably never to be seen again and grabbed his flame-orange (oh yeah) briefs. Roxas observed his progress, blasé. He was mostly present to make sure Axel didn't just fall down in his own filth and fall asleep. Again. A short minute of fruitless searching in half-empty drawers did nothing and just made the half-dressed monster of lankiness look even more ridiculous.
The redheaded elder got that tone of asking for something. "He-ey, Roxas. You got any nice-lookin' pants?"
"My pants won't fit you, fat ass." Roxas kicked off a couple empty pop cans to give him room to stretch out on Axel's futon and picked up a dog-eared automotive catalogue. He flipped through it, noting all the dollar-store green page markers bursting out the top and sides of the pages.
"You are incorrect once again, my friend. Your pants fit just fine. That is if you weren't so shrimpy." He swayed a bit drunkenly on his feet. Alcohol had worn off, or been peed out, but sleep deprivation lasted.
"Whatever, I deflect your short joke." Roxas held up the catalogue. "Isn't this mine?"
"Share and share alike. You passed kindergarten, didn't you? Now, pants."
Roxas distracted himself with the flashy cars. He'd bought it with the intention of getting a car he could actually have. Really! He also happened to like to fantasize about the ones he couldn't buy without selling his soul. "Just wear black jeans, they look close enough." Idly, he flipped to Axel's closest tabbed page and snorted at the hulking compensation-worthy vehicle "You were seriously considering this? This is worth more than your measly life, little man."
Axel pouted. "Well yeah. It's sweet, isn't it? I mean, after I got a job and everything..." He hopped on one leg and swayed dangerously trying to get into his pants. Mission: Get Dressed was once again successful.
"Huh. A-plus for ambition, F for results." Even his eyes glazed over a bit at the car, despite his teasing. Sigh. How real life bites sometimes. "You'd have to suck millionaire cock for this baby."
"Didn't you know that's my plan?"
Roxas had to laugh aloud at that. "I wouldn't pay that much for you."
Axel purred, kneeling on the futon next to his lifelong friend. "Hm, that's because you get all this for free now, that right?" He awaited the pillow to his head, or the witty back talk.
But didn't get it. Roxas had frozen up, suddenly appearing uncomfortable. He pushed Axel back to ease the pressure of his proximity. "...Look, Ax. Don't bring that up too much."
"Huh? You're the one who suggested it." He grinned again. "Why? Are you embarrassed?"
"Like hell. I just don't want things to get weird between us because we're doing this. Okay? Don't act like it's something new and amazing 'cause it's not. Don't make it awkward."
That... actually caught him off-guard. So much so that he thought he should be offended. "What the fuck? It's not going to get awkward. You're worryin' about nothing." He shoved the blonde back, somewhat disbelieving that he'd accused him of that.
"Yeah, you're right." Roxas cleared his throat. "I was thinkin' you'd think that something was different. I wouldn't."
Axel straightened up, starting to head for the door. "Keep telling yourself that. I've got to get to this thing." Roxas got up to follow. He'd have to start getting ready for himself as soon as Axel left. Not for work, but he was supposed to see Olette today to help her with moving. He'd be lucky to get through the day without falling asleep standing up and dropping her boxes of books on his feet.
"Think you're prepared then?"
"I've got this. How bad can an interview be?" Breakfast went ignored. If he really had to, he could pick up a breakfast sandwich somewhere and eat it before he met the guy.
"What do you say when they ask why they should hire you?" Roxas sat on the back of the couch. Maybe he'd get some sleep in.
"I'd make a valuable asset to your company because I'm efficient, self-motivated but a team player, I enjoy being everyone's bitch and I once saved an orphan puppy from a burning hospital-church in some piss-poor country. You act like you're dealing with an amateur bullshitter here."
"Resume?"
"I got Zex to print it off. I'll pick it up at his house on the way."
"Have you got bus fare then?" Roxas sincerely hoped that after Axel got a job he could stop being his babysitter. He didn't care enough to suit the part.
"For that far? Psh, sure I do." He reached into his leather jacket, which currently hung over the back of the couch until it was needed, fishing out some coins. He stuffed a handful into his back pocket without counting it – it felt like enough, and he was rushing, kind of. He got his keys too, while he was at it.
There was a significant moment of hesitation at the door. Possibly because he'd slipped briefly into unconsciousness.
Roxas raised an eyebrow. "What're you waiting for? A goodbye kiss?"
That snapped him out of it. He wasn't really sure what he'd paused for, but he wasn't going to admit that and sound insane. He offered his best friend a middle-finger salute before snapping the door shut behind himself.
Okay, this is technically just the first half of chapter one. It was intended to go up all together before I realised I'd written a twenty thousand word first chapter, so now you have an extra chapter, y'all! Part two should be only a day or two more while I edit the behemoth.
Betas please? It's less fun trying to write something for five months and finally reaching the end only to realise you now have to go back and edit it all. Also I'd really just like someone to light a fire under my ass from time to time so I get to what I intend to write.
Reviews, good, bad, or neutral, are all well loved. Looking at my other stories and leaving a review there too would also be well loved. Perhaps even a little too well-loved.