Summary: Jacob's life was in turmoil. Bella married Edward to become one of them. Nothing would ever be the same. The day Charlie received word on Bella was the final break in his betrayed heart. He had to let go or live in torment forever. A final meeting turned it all around. Bella was definitely changed, but not as he predicted. Something happened on that honeymoon and the truth was worse than any lie Bella had told herself. She finally understood what they all meant by monsters, but the sad part was it was a little too late and no matter how good Jacob was, would he ever be enough. [AU, post-BD, Jacob/Bella]

Sad, traumatic, dark fic with trigger warnings. Swim in the angst waters with me if you dare.

What the heck could bring me out of retirement? This. The plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

The Long Way Home

Chapter 1

Jacob counted in his mind, one, two,three... ten. Calming techniques didn't work. He erupted when he saw the destruction in the kitchen. His father's home. His house, not Paul Lahote's.

"Fuuucckkk! Get out here, you filthy bastard. Where are you?" Jacob stormed through the living room, glanced around and noticed a few closed doors. If Paul was still here with his sister, he wasn't sure about opening up any of them.

He came home from running around all night and thought he would attempt to put something in his stomach since it had been too long. He was losing weight and the lack of fuel was taking a toll on the wolf. He felt weaker, slower, more vulnerable, but maybe it was a blessing. Perhaps he could starve out the supernatural. He was sure as fuck over all this bullshit. The vamp family was gone and there were plenty other wolves to handle patrol duties. This was no longer a calling to him. It was a curse. Vampires and wolves were all cursed creatures and they destroyed those around them.

Jacob knew. He watched it all unfold. The Cullens left and they took what didn't belong to him. He tried, but he failed. Bella was a human being or at least she used to be. He wasn't sure now. She'd been married almost a month. He felt certain they'd changed her by now. She was hidden away somewhere to keep her from sucking half the Eastern seaboard dry. They were supposed to be headed off to college after the honeymoon. More lies. Bella would not be able to fulfill her dreams. She'd never be a teacher, write a book or be a mother. Did she even want to be a mother? He guessed not since she sealed up her womb inside a granite tomb. Shit, that was the worst rhyme in history. He was fucked up.

A year ago, Jacob used to daydream about future stuff. He thought he'd finish school with high honors since he was so good in math and science. He'd all but flunked out now. The report card just arrived. He was supposed to be in summer school, but that wasn't happening with his patrol schedule. Sam didn't care about their educations. He cared about worshiping Emily's ass and making the rest of them bow to his will. Jacob was a dorky kid with a stupid fantasy this older girl would become smitten with him during one of their many get-togethers with their fathers and that Jacob would finally impress her. Maybe they'd date a few years while they both concentrated on school and he'd work hard the whole time saving up money until they could get a place together. Jacob pounded his skull with his fists. There was zero point imagining the rest because none of that was possible. Bella was gone. He watched her walk away at the wedding reception. She went through with it and now in all likelihood she was dead.

His Bells wasn't his any longer; she was existing only for Edward Cullen and lusting for blood. She was essentially his mortal enemy, but he couldn't escape the feelings that consumed him. He missed her so fucking much. Even though she didn't choose him, he couldn't will himself not to love her anymore. That proved it. He was just as fucked up in the head as Bella had been to love a leech. Jacob was exactly the same. He still loved her. He didn't want to, but what if he couldn't stop? What if he always loved her? He would live a hellish life on earth.

Finally, the idiot appeared from Rachel's room so Jacob could think of something else, anything besides her. "Jesus Christ Lahote, put on some damn clothes before you walk around my house. You need to get dressed, clean up your fucking mess, and then leave. Also you owe me a hundred and fifty bucks because there's no damn food left."

"Whoa, you're grumpy without a nap. So chill the fuck out. Su casa es mi casa according to Billy." Rachel brought Paul a pair of gym shorts. She wasn't much better wrapped in last night's soiled bed linens. They both needed to leave.

"Thanks a lot Rach. So glad you moved back and scarred me for life with this shit. You need to get dressed too. And wash those damn sheets! While you're at it, bleach this entire place down because I smell your filthy sex with that beast and I feel like burning my nostrils in hopes of erasing it."

"Oh my God! You're so disgusting Jacob."

Jacob held his hands out and spun around. The kitchen was destroyed. His sister was wrapped in jizzy sheets, Lahote was scratching his ass digging through the fridge and he was the disgusting one? "Where the fuck is Dad? Did he move out to spare himself?"

"No, he offered to go fishing with Charlie at the buttcrack of dawn to help take his mind of that bitch that abandoned him."

Jacob winced every time one of the pack called Bella names. She earned every single one of them, but he still didn't like hearing bad things spoken about her.

"I'm fucking dying here. I haven't slept in two days and I've gone almost that long without eating. This is the last thing I want to come home to. I need to clean the sink before I can even get a glass of water. There isn't even a goddamn slice of bread for toast because of this numbnut. So glad you moved back at the perfect time to look in that moron's eyes. My life wasn't shit enough. Bravo." Jacob clapped with great sarcasm. "Well done, sis."

"Okay, you're a major downer, but we have a plan. Sorry about the mess. We got carried away last night before bed."

Paul added, "I thought that's when the actual carried-aways started." He laughed at his sex joke about Jacob's sister, and honest to God Jacob was about to crack. He was seconds from a full explosion.

"Paul's going to clean up and I'm going shopping. I think there's an egg left, so fry that and it should tide you over until a get back. Meanwhile, go take a nap and hope it improves your foul mood. No one can stand to be around you lately Jacob and you used to be the nice kid."

"Screw you. I used to be a lot of things." Jacob snapped his attention at the sound on the floor.

"Oh shit. Sorry dude, dropped the eggs."

That was it. Jacob was done. He jumped a chair in his way, slammed his body into his packmate and started to choke the life out of Paul. Rachel screamed bloody murder. Once Paul got over the initial shock he was being murdered, he started to fight back. He and Jacob were fully into a cage-like battle when Billy and Charlie came through the door.

"Stop it! Dad, do something. Jacob's an animal with or without the wolf. Let go of my fiancé. You're going to break his arm."

"Jacob Ephraim Black, let go of him before I'm forced to arrest you for assault."

"Do it Charlie. The boy needs to cool off."

Jacob released Paul when Rachel's words sunk in. "Fiancé, you can't be serious? You haven't even been back here six weeks. No, I won't allow it. You can't marry him. Honestly, no one should ever marry Paul Lahote. You have no idea what he's like. I know." Boy, did Jacob know. He'd heard the stories over and over, each nastier than the one before. He was a degenerate. Jacob didn't even know some of that stuff happened with real people. Paul committed acts that Jake previously thought only existed in the darkest pornos. There was no way that he should be a member of the family. It was bad enough he was his brother now. Jacob couldn't escape the pack bond, but he shouldn't be bound to Lahote for life.

"That's enough Jacob. We have company and Charlie's not feeling well. He got some bad news on the lake."

"What is it? Was it Bella? What did they say happened?"

"Um, has she contacted you?"

He hadn't been subtle in the least, "No, I just... I'm sorry Charlie. What was the news?"

"Well, I don't know much. Edward says he's not sure, but Bella got sick. They're taking her to a special clinic overseas. Of course, I pitched a fit. We've got good hospitals here. Well, maybe not here as in Forks, but in Seattle or Portland. I don't know why they'd take her far off. Seems like being in a foreign country already exposed her to something she can't kick. And I have no say so anymore. It's infuriating, like I don't matter. I'm still her father!"

"Where were they?"

"He says South America, but I don't know Jake. Sometimes, I think they only tell me partial truths. In fact, my gut tells me they lie, a lot. Those Cullens lie and I don't know why. I want to call her mother and see if she knows something, but I don't want to upset her either. She gets so emotional when it comes to Bells and the last thing I need is her showing up here. The wedding week almost killed me."

Billy was quiet. Jacob looked to his father for a sign or maybe it was permission. Charlie should not suffer in ignorance like this, but the truth might be way worse.

"You know, fuck this. Sorry Jake, but you've said way worse. I remember the night of your wreck. I'm going over there. I'm sick of sitting around and taking his word for things when Bella's missing."

"Where?"

"The Cullens. It's creepy as shit in that house, but they must have left something behind. I don't know why the entire family disappeared as soon as the wedding ended, but I've been checking around town. Carlisle quit the hospital."

"Chief, I wouldn't do that. They probably have a state-of-the-art security system. How would it look when the Forks Chief of Police gets busted for breaking and entering?"

"I'll go."

Charlie and Billy both said no at the same time.

"It's fine. Dad's right. You shouldn't take that risk. I'll go."

"I can't authorize that Jake. You don't need trouble on your record."

"Charlie, trust me. I won't get caught and I kinda have an idea what to look for." Who knew, maybe Charlie believed he hung out there before with Bells like normal teenagers. Jacob had been inside the crypt once, but he'd been nearby on patrol many nights. His father was right. They had a security system. Jacob had the code memorized. His keen eyesight and hearing paid off in many ways.

Jacob was only protecting Charlie. He didn't think there was anything at the Cullen's place that would give him leads or comfort, but they might have weird shit hidden in the closets and drawers. He couldn't risk Charlie stumbling onto things he wasn't meant to understand. He wasn't even sure he'd actually go inside. The closer he got, the more he convinced himself that was a really bad idea.

All his plans changed when he heard a car door slam a few hundred yards away. Bella. What if they came back for their things? Maybe she joined them. Jacob stopped. He wanted to see her, but then he couldn't. He couldn't look at her and see one of them, smell the stench of death and deception on her like he'd smelled on all the others. Jacob should remember Bella from that night. He held her close, buried his nose in her strawberry-scented hair and felt her heartbeat against his chest when they shared their last dance. It's how he chose to remember her. He had to get away from here. He'd make a bullshit excuse to Charlie and hope he bought it, but his footsteps betrayed him. Jacob was finally close enough to identify all the Cullens had returned. They were indeed lying to Charlie about being out of the country.

He sucked in the air around him expecting to find that unfamiliar eighth scent of pure wretched leech, but it wasn't there. He smelled someone else and it was completely familiar to him. Jacob went to sleep at night and woke up each day with her memory. Bella. She wasn't transformed, she was herself, her human self and the faint thrumming sound hidden behind the walls was another confirmation. He heard her heart beating.

~Thanks for reading.

You know I thrive on feedback and predictions. I'm interested if anyone knows what's happening. Hint: it might not be what you think at first. ;)