She didn't deserve it. She knew that. She didn't deserve him. So why was she still unhappy?
She felt as if she had a broken heart, but obviously she didn't…well, she did, but it was so stupid having your heart broken over a few words. But those words had pierced Carmen Howle like a knife, and the pain wasn't fading.
"You don't deserve him! He deserves better than someone like you." Lily said.
"HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU." Elektra screamed in Carmen's ear. "Do you understand now? HE DOESN'T."
Carmen let the tears come pouring down her cheeks, falling into her hands. She didn't care that letting the tears run was tickling her cheek a little. She just let herself cry, until eventually she was just choking out her sobs, rocking backwards and forwards. She was reduced to silence, with only tears pouring down her face.
Stop crying, Carmen. He's just a boy. But she couldn't. She was just like her mother, crying over someone she never had. "OI MRS TAYLOR?! IT'S LUNCHTIME!" Lily shouted from outside the barricaded door. "Your forbidden lover is downstairs too." And then she retreated, giggling with someone.
Carmen grabbed her backpack and ran over to her wardrobe. She got out her new blue trainers and her dark jeans and put them on. She put her black hoodie over her top and grabbed loads of clothes, undies, her hairbrush, her toothbrush and toothpaste, money…and more importantly…her memories. Eventually it was full, so Carmen zipped it up and carried her camping set in a separate bag.
She grabbed a piece of paper and wrote a note with her favorite ink pen, then she stuffed her notebook and pens into her camping bag, and zipped it up. She quickly put the note on her bed and took away everything barricading the door.
Carmen climbed out of the window with her bags slung over her back. She used the drainpipe to get down quickly and she walked to the front of the house. Carmen heard Lily calling her again and walked faster.
She took one last look at Elm Tree House and then she ran, pulling her hood over her head so nobody would recognize her. She put her bags more securely over her back and kept on running, more tears pouring down her face.
Lily and the rest of the DG kids burst into the room, and frowned. Carmen wasn't there. The clothes she had been wearing before were on the ground and her new trainers were gone. Tyler picked up a piece of paper that was on Carmen's bed.
"Guys." He said, and they all stopped searching the room to look at him. "Dear Dumping Ground, by the time you guys find this I'll already be gone. I've been thinking a lot lately, and I've been examining the way you act around me. I realized how much you really hate me. I can't believe I didn't see it before. So...I know where I'm going to go now. Somewhere I know I can be myself and somewhere I hope I can find friends that truly care about me." He read. His eyes widened and he continued. "Maybe you should ask Lily and Elektra what they said to me to understand. I will miss you all every day because I actually care about you. But know this...there's only so many times I can explain who I am. And it hurts when I speak and you guys don't listen. I'm sorry. Love, Carmen."
Everyone's eyes swivelled to Elektra and Lily.
"Well...we kind of told her...she didn't deserve Johnny." Elektra said, avoiding their gaze.
Lily was avoiding it too. "And that he deserves better than her. And...other stuff."
"What?!" Tee said.
"It's not your decision who I deserve and who deserves me!" Johnny said angrily. He walked out of the room, grabbed his jacket and shoes and ran downstairs. Rick, Tee and Jody were close behind.
"You two really went too far this time." Tyler said and he walked out.
"Yeah, you did." Frank said too, and he followed, leaving the girls alone, staring at each other in slight shock and an emotion that was definitely readable.
Guilt.
Carmen was shivering as she held the hot chocolate in her hands. "Thanks for letting me stay, Esme, and...I'm sorry I shouted at you last week. I was just upset."
"That's okay, I'm sorry I lied to my mum. I told her the truth, every word, and she's mad at me now, but I don't care. She went to Spain and I'm alone, but that's okay because the maid went with her and being along is the best because they both used to lecture me. Listen...we can't go to Rio though..."
"Why not? We're both alone, we've got passports...why not?!" Carmen said, her eyes sparkling. "It will be the perfect adventure! Oh, Esme, please!"
"NO!" Esme snapped. "Anyway, why would I want to go with a whiny bitch like you who is too selfish to care about anyone else?!" she looked shocked.
Carmen finished her hot chocolate and slammed the empty cup down on the table. She grabbed her backpack and camping bag and stormed out of the house, starting to cry again. She pulled up her hood and put on a cap.
"Don't! IT'S NOT SAFE HERE IN THE DARK!" Esme shouted after her, but it was so dark, it was hard to tell where Carmen went. She sighed and shut the door.
Carmen was walking as fast as she could, breathing hard as she secured her bags over her shoulders. "Why does nobody accept me?" she whispered, and just then, it began to rain. Carmen didn't care...she just slowly walked through it, still crying. Tears mixed with rain stained her cheeks when she put her hat away and pushed her hood down...getting wet didn't bother her now.
"Where could she have gone?" Tee asked, as they phoned a taxi.
"Esme's, of course! That's the first place she'd want to go." Johnny said.
"How do you know?" Jody said.
"Johnny knows Carmen better than anyone, even Lily." Rick reminded her.
"Exactly." Johnny and the others got into the taxi and he told them Esme's address. "I just hope we catch up with her."
"This is all our fault." Lily whispered.
"You dragged me into this, remember?! I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't paid me that stupid money!" Elektra said angrily. "Thanks to you, now everyone thinks I'd hurt Carmen willingly!"
"But you would." Lily said.
"Maybe when I came here I would have without thinking twice. But she was the only person in the Dumping Ground willing to be my friend, and I trusted her. She used to trust me too." Elektra slapped Lily across the face and stormed out. "And if they get her back, you're going to explain to her!" she shouted over her shoulder.
Lily sighed and rested her head in her hands, pressing her lips together as if she wasn't able to find words. Finally, she let herself fall back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry Carmen." She whispered.
It had finally stopped raining when Johnny got out of the taxi. He told the guy to wait with Rick, Tee and Jody and the guy did so, telling them they'd have to pay extra for that. Johnny ran up to Esme's door (since the gates were open) and he knocked on the door, ringing the bell loads of times until Esme opened the door.
"Esme! Is Carmen there?!" he asked, and she saw his desperate face. Her own face fell.
"She left." She said. "She wanted to go to Rio and I told her I wasn't going with her...I said some horrible, horrible things and she just walked out...that's probably where she's headed though."
"Alright, thanks Esme." Johnny paused. "You know...I just realized something about you."
Esme smiled a little and leaned forward. "What?"
"You're an ugly, horrible bitch." He told her, then ran back to the taxi and got in. "Take us to the airport where the plane is going to Rio."
"There's only one, but it's about an hour away." The taxi guy said.
"Fine, fine, just drive! We have to catch up." Johnny said, and the taxi drove away rather fast.
Carmen sighed. She wasn't that far from Esme's house but she was still walking. She knew the airport would be about an hour and a half to walk from here, but it would be worth it if she got to go to Rio...right? As she walked, she heard a car skid to a halt beside her, and the door opened.
She turned so quickly her bags dropped to the floor, but Johnny already had her in his arms, and he pressed his lips quickly and firmly to hers, pulling her closer.
She shut her eyes as it began to rain again, but she didn't notice. Her hands moved to hold his shoulders and she responded to the kiss. Because hey, even if he didn't love her, Carmen wanted her first kiss to be with the boy she loved. And she knew that she loved Johnny so much it even hurt.
After about a minute, they broke apart. Rick had already put Carmen's bags in the taxi and he, Tee and Jody were waiting in there, chatting to the taxi driver.
"I love you too." Johnny whispered, and he pulled Carmen in again, and this time their kiss was more fierce, plus it meant more; that they loved each other, needed each other, cared about each other.
"Let's go home." He whispered, and they got into the taxi.
As soon as Carmen stepped into the kitchen and put her bags down on the counter, Harry ran up to her.
"Carmen!" he said, hugging her waist. She hugged back and hugged Mo, too. And Faith and Frank. Eventually, Elektra whispered explanations into Carmen's ear and they hugged too. Lily walked into the kitchen just as Carmen pressed her lips to Johnny's in a light peck. Everyone cheered then stopped as they realized Lily was in the room. Carmen took a step towards her.
"So...you're okay?" Lily said, crossing her arms. She looked as though she was trying not to cry.
"What does it look like?" Carmen asked rather spitefully. Lily looked down and Carmen weakened. "I'm fine. Really good, actually."
"You're with Johnny?" Lily asked, looking back up at Carmen.
"Yeah...turns out maybe he does love me back. Okay, scratch the maybe." She said, when Johnny nudged her. She stepped forward. "You paid Elektra to insult me."
"I know...I didn't want only me to be hated on when they realized how jealous I was." Lily admitted.
"You were jealous of me liking Johnny?!" Carmen said, her eyes wide.
"No, no...just the fact that even if he didn't like you back, you're pretty and smart and nice and you could get any boy within an instant. And it hurts me that I will never be like you. I want to be perfect just like you are, Carmen...I'm really sorry. I get it if you don't want to forgive me, because I wouldn't either, but I want you to know that I love and care about you because you're my best friend. You made me a better person and I can't thank you enough for the changes you made in my life. Thank you, Carmen, and I hope that maybe we can start from the beginning, see if we can fix our friendship..." Lily said, then she bent her head and remained silent.
Carmen bit her lip and looked around at the others, and their eyes slid away. That meant it was her decision. She turned to face Lily and stepped forward.
"You should know that Tee and Elektra are better friends to me than you ever were, even before I make this decision." She said carefully.
"I know. I can change, Carmen, I really can." Lily said, looking up at her friend to look her right in the eyes. "I want to change. I want to be the same person you made me all those times. The nice sweet girl I want everyone to see." Lily said.
"Then...I can help you." Carmen said. "We don't need to start from the beginning, we just need to make more changes. We need to spend more time together, be nicer to each other, respect opinions...all the things that I have in the friendship with Tee and Elektra. I hope you understand these changes have to be made." She looked right in Lily's eyes.
"I understand." Lily whispered. "I want to set things right too."
Carmen hugged Lily tightly and Lily hugged back, and when they pulled away, Carmen offered a grin. "But first of all, did you see my new clothes? Not as much pink!"
"Oh my God, someone call a doctor." Lily joked, and Carmen laughed.
"Now there's the best friend I love." Carmen grinned and hugged Lily again, and they all went to eat their breakfast.
Carmen Howle was finally happy again.