Basically i held off a bit simply b/c of the rating.
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"Kirsten, we need to talk about this. The kids are worried… I know you're upset, and I get that you just need some time-- but in the meantime, we need to start acting like us again. Especially where Seth and Ryan are concerned. Please just be with me on this one."
"Sandy, I'm the one that's been with you this whole time. On everything. You're the one that's putting this marriage at risk with this whole Rebecca factor." she immediately wished she hadn't said that when she saw the hurt in his eyes. He really was trying to make this work. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just…"
"I know sweetie. I get it. I'm sorry."
"I know you are. And you're right. We do need to start acting like us again if we want to be us again." she said, smiling apologetically.
"So, if that means making the kids walk in on us kissing in the kitchen in the morning, I'm willing to take one for the team." he feigned seriousness, while taking her hand and pulling her close so that he could gently press his lips to her temple. "C'mon, let's head to bed." His voice lacked innuendo; only comfort, as his tire evident as the lines in his forehead deepened, showing his age. Kirsten noticed a few more silver hairs speckling his thick dark locks as she ruffled them with the delicate fingers of her free hand.
He saw her through the slightly open door while looking in the mirror as he brushed his teeth. She undressed in the closet. She carefully pulled her silky brown top off of her curves exposing the back of her lace bra. She looked back at him quickly as he laughed to himself. He knew what she was doing-- looking back to see if he was watching, which, of course, he was. It was her test of his lust for her, sometimes he wondered why she would even be asking, other times, like now, he thought her nervousness was naïve and adorable; innocent-- not to mention completely understandable.
Kirsten hung up her top and moved onto her professional pencil skirt that Sandy had decided was quite the tease when paired with those Marc Jacobs heels. She stepped out of them, her height decreasing significantly, and unzipped the skirt on the side, pushing it down. He looked up after spitting a mouthful of minty foam and noticed that when she pushed her blond hair back behind her ear she was blushing-- because she knew that he was still watching her. Even after all that had happened lately-- he was watching her, and she was dazed by the scrutiny. He still loved her, was infatuated with her classic beauty, he still craved her smile. And he loved that she played with his head sometimes, making sure for herself that she had a happy marriage, an interested husband.
Kirsten removed her skirt and put it away amongst a top row of suits, standing on her tip-toes. Her golden long legs moved in and out of a flexed tone while she reached to replace her hanger. Sandy grinned proudly, his eyes wandering from her polished toes all the way to her perfect ass, clad only in her lacy thong. He knew she knew that he was looking, and he loved it. In spite of everything that had happened, this was her way of telling him that she wanted everything to be ok; that she was confident enough to ward off the negatives between them with her charm and constant ability to win him over physically, even if they were completely livid at each other mentally, emotionally, and verbally.
Sandy rinsed his mouth, gurgling and spitting the spearmint Listerine down the drain. When he looked up, he saw Kirsten with her back turned to him, casting off her bra, and turning to reach for his old Berkeley sweatshirt. She wore so often it was a home to her scent. This told Sandy one thing-- she's not mad, she wants to talk about it. Anything of Sandy's means "let's talk." He sighed, wishing she had pulled something out of the third drawer of her dresser, which is classified as the lingerie drawer; this obviously meant a little less conversation was to follow. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy talking to Kirsten for hours into the night while they laid in bed, cuddled close together for company-- he just missed the Kirsten that would get him all excited while she undressed and then put on a sheer silk nightgown to taunt him.
But, he did have the fact that the flannels from the fourth drawer were still safely tucked away in his favor. Flannels could only mean terrible things were to happen; the couch is in eighty-five percent likeliness much safer to sleep on because Sandy might get murdered in his sleep because he's pissed her off so much.
Pajama reading was one of those nonverbal communication things that Sandy and Kirsten had mastered-- she put on one thing, he followed suit. After she emerged fully from the closet, she patted his cheek absent mindedly as he passed her and she went to brush and floss. Sandy, in the closet, pulled on old boxers and a comfy old t-shirt to sleep in.
Turning the light in the bathroom off behind him, he crawled into the right side of the bed next to Kirsten, who set the alarm on the far nightstand.
"Well, g'night sweetie. I love you…" Sandy said, kissing her head and turning to switch off the light behind him. Kirsten frantically grabbed his hand, stopping him.
"Sandy?" she asked, her voice panicked.
"Kirsten?" his voice was amused. "You have something against sleeping in a dark room?" he added sarcastically.
"Thank you…" she responded seriously, looking him in the eyes-- only confusing him.
"You're welcome?" he grinned toothily and turned to switch off the lamp. Kirsten, however, seemed intent on getting her point across, whatever it was she was thankful for. He turned around, and she reached up to stroke his cheek with her thumb, and leaned forward to kiss him softly. He still didn't know what he had done to make her so grateful, but he sure did like it.
"I love you too honey. So, so much." Sandy looked at her skeptically.
"Are you ok?"
"Fine."
"Well, I guess I'm just confused as to why you are so wrapped up in me saying 'I love you…' it's not like I haven't told you that before…" he smiled at her, hoping to lighten the mood.
"I know, I-- I just. Never mind. It's stupid."
"Not if it's upsetting you." she melted at his concern, even when he didn't even realize it.
"Sandy… I'm fine, honey" she added the endearment in attempt to sound more polite. "really, I'm fine. I'm just glad this is all over. I missed us." Everything. The way you used to look at me, speak to me, kiss me, touch me. I miss us being that couple. "And I'm just glad to have you back."
"You were never gonna lose me baby, I promise, you're stuck with me for awhile." He just missed her.
"Well, it sure didn't feel like that…"
"Do you wanna talk about it?" That was a stupid question. She had the sweatshirt of conversation on. Of course she wanted to talk about it.
"I'm not really sure." Bullshit. God why did she have to beat around the bush like this?
"Just tell me what you're thinking." What am I thinking? What a load, Sandy. What am I thinking? I think you've spent the past several weeks running around with Rebecca and not telling me about it for reasons I don't think you'd really care to honestly explain. I think you've promised me at Chrismukkah that you would never make an error-in-judgment like my father did.
Am I scaring you now? I'm comparing you to my father. Caleb. Yeah, that father. The one who had a heart attack and I was left to deal lean on three seventeen-year-olds, while I am the only person that they can look to for help. Oh, never mind, I forgot Julie was there too. Sometimes? Well, more than you were.
Sandy, I think that you just don't see that we're falling apart, and all I can do is tell you that I'll always love you and just pray that you'll come home? I'm sick of trying to win you over, I want THIS to be over. And all the while, you just seem perfectly amused by all of this. Well it's sure as hell not funny. I'm hoping that you've kept your promise, and at the same time, I feel disgustingly guilty that I should even have to ask myself. It used to be perfectly clear that you were faithful to this marriage and this family, but now I can't be so sure. What were you doing all those nights when I was here alone, staring at some fake picture of us.
We're not even happy in a picture, and if these words aren't enough, then that's worth a thousand. There's got to be something there. "I don't really know anymore… I'm just tired of fighting, I'm sick of being mad at my husband, and for the first time in awhile I feel completely alone. When did we become that couple?" The lines around her eyes creased, the sadness pooling in her deep irises, and Sandy's heart continued to fall to his stomach in guilt.
"I-I'm sorry… I didn't know that this had gone that far… I thought you were ok with this…" It was pretty obvious he was lying through his teeth.
"Bullshit Sandy, since when have I ever been ok with you staying all night with your love-of-your-life-ex-fiancée that you are supposedly working with?"
"She's not the love of my life. You, for one should know that." he pleaded with her to understand.
"Really? You could have fooled me." she was seething. If she didn't get up from that bed immediately she might have smacked him. "I'm cold. I'm gonna go put some flannels on."
"I'm gonna go… sleep on the couch then…" Sandy said, hardly above a whisper.
"Good."
"'Night."
"Fine." She was furious.
"Fine?" He was confused.
"Good." She slammed the bathroom door.
"And for the record--" he called out before shutting the bedroom door.
"I'm not listening." which, of course, she was.
"I love you more than anyone in this world. And if you don't know that by now, then our relationship is nothing like I thought it was." The guilt finally started to set into her system.
"I can't hear you." He shut the door and sulked off to the couch silently.
He couldn't understand how suddenly she could just go from sweatshirts to flannels when he was thinking that they were back into drawer three territory. Women.
Sandy spent the next hour and a half flipping through their five-hundred television channels that no one ever watched, contemplating a way to work this out with his wife. He figured she was up in the bedroom, not sleeping either-- just squeezing his pillow and trying to be livid at Sandy.
He wondered what she was going to do in the morning when they were faced with the boys. Would they act like normal? Not being romantic or anything-- he figured he was so far in the doghouse that she wouldn't even pretend to try to gross Seth out. He hoped she wasn't going to leave early and avoid them altogether, as if he wasn't being interrogated enough by the boys-- but to leave him alone with them again?
Women. He had to charm his way into that bed tonight, or it would all fall to pieces.
Kirsten hadn't looked at the clock in awhile. Just kidding. It was three minutes later. She had put the picture of fake Sandy and Kirsten back down, so that she wouldn't have to see how depressing her so-called marriage was each time she prayed for morning to a red digital glow.
She felt almost bad, and sort of wished she hadn't played her flannel card. Sandy's back wasn't going to feel so great tomorrow after making him sleep on the couch.
It probably wasn't a great idea to send him down there at the risk of Seth and Ryan seeing him. O well, she thought to herself. He'll probably go surfing early anyway-- or go find Rebecca…
I can't let him sleep down there.
She sat up immediately, throwing her tightly-clenched pillow and the duvet aside and hopped out of bed and strode towards the door.
Opening it quickly, she was met with the tip-toeing form of Sandy who was about to knock on the door. Talk about timing.
"Hey." he spoke first.
"Hi." her face was void of expression.
"I just--" they spoke at the same time, "yeah."
"I figured it wouldn't be acting like us if Seth and Ryan see you on the couch…" she looked at her feet, her voice not warming up.
"I couldn't sleep. I figured you would be too busy trying to squeeze the feathers out of my pillow to sleep." he looked past his wife into the room, where he saw his pillow in the pile of unmade sheets, folded over and distorted. Yep.
"Fine." Sandy's grin grew wider as he followed her inside, but she quickly turned away, clearly not impressed, and headed for the bathroom.
"Where are you going?" he asked, looking at the clock, which read 1:33, and he looked back at her inquisitively.
"Shower." He thought about trying to follow her, just to see what she would do, but decided that he would rather sleep in his own house tonight. She shut the door forcefully, and he could hear her lock it. So she's still upset. God, we've been all over the place tonight. Don't blink. You might miss some-THING! There we go. Haha where is that little devil? In my office, somewhere, I'm sure. She'll be in there awhile. I'm a genius.
Kirsten slammed the door, however quietly, not wanting to wake up Seth. She avoided eye contact with herself in the mirror as she walked to the shower and removed her clothes before turning the hot water on. Steam built up around her, pools of water stained her body but she didn't cry. Her face remained completely stoic, her eyes boring into the shower wall.
Her skin turned pink from the heat, put she was numb to it. She didn't know what else to do if he was going to break every promise of taking things seriously by joking around whenever a situation arises.
She shut off the shower and wrapped up in a thick robe, knowing that if he didn't start taking this seriously within the next few minutes, he would leave her with no choice. After drying her hair and putting her flannels back on, she took a deep breath and entered her bedroom, to be met by Sandy, sitting in his side of the bed reading. She didn't say anything, just crawled into her respective side of the bed. Kirsten pulled the covers toward her chin and rolling to face the clock again, while Sandy turned the light out and tried to get close to her.
"Just go to sleep Sandy." she knew what he was trying to do, and she wasn't going to fall for it.
"I just thought you might be cold." he answered nonchalantly.
"How could I be? It's so STUFFY in here." she retorted irritably. Sandy rolled flat on his back, pulling the covers down to his waist and putting his hands behind his head to stretch out a bit. He let out a sigh, and started to hum to himself. Kirsten was seething through her teeth at his nerve, and clenched her fists into the sheets, trying not to smack him.
"Kirsten?"
"What." she muttered, obviously incensed at him.
"I can't sleep."
"You're not four. There's always the couch if you'd prefer that."
"Nope… I'm just dandy here, thanks." he started to whistle. Kirsten groaned, and turned to face him.
"Sandy, do you think this is funny?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?" she rolled her eyes to keep from crying.
"Sandy, don't you get it? We are falling apart… this Rebecca thing was a test, and we flunked-- like bombed it, don't you see that we need to make it up? I'm trying, but you keep acting like everything's ok, and I don't even know what to do about it anymore." she still wasn't facing him, but he could tell she was crying.
"I'm sorry, I love you, but I can't be your super-husband if you don't tell me what's going on."
"I don't think you realize how sick I am of hearing you say that."
"Well maybe I would if you would just tell me that." she finally turned to face him, shiny streams of quiet sobs rolled down her cheeks.
"I never would have needed to tell you that before. Now it seems like whatever I don't give you written instructions for you completely screw up. That's not us. I miss us, and we're not getting back on any track here. You're not even trying. The only explanation I can come up with is that you don't want to try anymore. You would rather just be with Rebecca." she paused. Sandy didn't speak, driving her over the edge even more. She took a deep breath, knowing she had no other choice. "So go be with her. As much as I can't handle it, I love you too much to let you stay here and make both of us just as unhappy. At least this way, one of us can be. But just know… I loved you more than anything, and I probably always will. But if you want a divorce, I'll understand." Sandy lay still, completely stunned. He had no idea what to say. No idea that she had gone this far as to give him up. He understood why she would let him go, knowing it was killing her inside. He still couldn't believe she offered him a divorce. God this night was just getting crazier. Kirsten buried her head into her pillow, crying.
"I don't really know what to say…" There's a first, she thought to herself. She broke down into an unadulterated weep, knowing this was it.
"Just say that you'll go… make things right with her?" she tried so hard to sound humane about the woman she hated so much. "But," deep breath, Kirsten, "could you stay with me, for one last night-- before you go?" Sandy figured out what he had to do.
"How about one last time? You and me, for old time's sake?" he tried to smile and take her hand, and she looked as if she might be sick, knowing he was really taking her up on her offer.
"Okay." she nodded, shutting her eyes momentarily and he kissed her softly, pulling her closer before deepening the kiss.
His lips moved to her jaw line and neck, and he wrapped his arms around her midsection, bringing her to him as closely as possible. She didn't know if she could get through this not crying. Their last time. Sandy and Kirsten Cohen-- no longer. She wasn't Kirsten Cohen anymore. She was… well she didn't really know what she was. Who she was anymore. But she knew that she had to let him go if she really loved him. As angry as she was at him for leaving, she knew that they (Sandy and Rebecca) would be happier together in the long run. At least they made sense as a couple. But who was she kidding? She had been in madly in love with a man that had adored her for over twenty years. The world was bound to catch up with them eventually.
She pressed her forehead against his, their noses brushing against each other, looking into each others eyes for a moment before he pursued removing her clothes. Her eyelashes were wet, and that made him feel like crying. This was bound to be the most depressing sex of his life. Well, this is the end for her…
She easily pushed down his boxers and ripped off his shirt, and left a flurry of kisses over his neck and chest. She took her time, trying to embed his body in her memory forever.
Sandy didn't have such a great feeling about this-- this was killing him.
-----
Before she could climax, she started crying again, knowing this was it. For all these years, she had so much faith in her marriage, when really the world was right-- they just had too little in common for their love to make a difference. At least he would be happy with someone that agreed with his personality more than she did. She came down from her high, as did Sandy who back onto his side of the bed. Kirsten slid the rings off of her wedding finger, and Sandy held out his hand, asking to hold them. He took his off, putting them in the other hand with Kirsten's. He tightened his fingers around them, touching his lips to the back of his hand while avoiding her eyes, never the less, in deep thought. She threw herself in to his arms and sobbed, trying to burn into her memory the feel of his skin against hers, the beat of his heart and the rise and fall of his chest. He stroked her soft hair, and kissed the top of her head, deciding this had gone on long enough. He reached over onto the side table and grabbed the remote, hitting play as he pointed it towards the stereo. Kirsten heard music, and looked up at him. He smiled toothily at her, but she was utterly confused, and continued to cry.
"Baby, why are you still crying? This has gone on long enough."
"I'm sorry… I never thought I would have to let you go… I'm just completely unprepared for this."
"Kirsten, I'm not going anywhere!"
"You're not?" she looked up at him immediately, completely confused.
"Honey, do you honestly think I'm just gonna pick up my stuff and leave? Come on, stop crying, you and me are fine. I love you more than anything in this world, and don't tell me your sick of hearing it because if you were really listening you would never have been silly enough to suggest a divorce in the first place. I'm not going anywhere, not now, not ever. Not with anyone, not while I've got the most amazing wife in the world. I don't know where you're getting these crazy ideas in the first place." he said, shaking his head.
"Sandy you have no idea how happy I am right now. Relieved, calmed, o my god you have no idea how upset I was. Why on earth would you put me through that in the first place? Pretending like you were leaving and making me cry through sex? You are terrible!"
"Well how else was I supposed to get you to agree to it in the first place?" he replied, his eyes full of lust. She shut her eyes, and sighed in relief before kissing him softly on the lips, waiting for him to respond. It was in their silence that she noticed what they were listening to, (Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing") and she broke out laughing.
She remembered the fateful day of Seth's 6th grade year when he saw Armageddon and decided that he had to sing the song to Summer. Naturally, because she had shown her true feelings about wanting to be a mermaid in front of the whole class, they were meant to be because Seth still believed he had super powers. Together, they would battle the evil in the world together, and they would never miss a thing.
For a few weeks, they could find him in his room 'practicing'. His Peter Brady voice needed it, too. Sandy and Kirsten would go to sleep at night with it blasting through the house for hours at a time, and Sandy always sang it to her, hitting all the wrong notes where Seth did for extra the extra giggle from his normally naked wife. It was their song of Seth's awkward years. Or at least THOSE awkward years.
"I don't wanna CLOSE my eyessss-- I don't wall FA-al asleep CUS I'd miss yoou bab-AY… and I DON'T wanna miss-a thang…" Sandy sang terribly on purpose pretending to be Magnum P.I. Seth, while cruel-mother Kirsten laughed hysterically into his chest.
"Sandy I think this is just about the most exhausting night of our marriage." she whispered once the song was finishing.
"I don't know… there was that one night in the mail truck… I felt like a rabbit I was so tired." he said sarcastically. Kirsten hit him playfully.
"So you're gonna stay?"
"Of course, I could never leave you-- I'd miss you baby!" she leaned her head into the crook of his neck, wrapping her arms around his middle. "Here, give me your hand. Let me do this right." she bit her lip, and looked up at him happily, holding out her left hand to him.
He took her right hand in his, and slid the her platinum rings on to her small finger. "I, Sandy Cohen, promise to love you, Kirsten Cohen, cherish you above all others, and protect you from the evils of this harsh world until the day I die."
She his yellow gold band from him and he held his hand out. She spoke softly next:
"I, Kirsten Cohen, promise to love you, Sandy Cohen, cherish you above all others, and protect you from the evils of this harsh world until the day I die."
"May I kiss the bride?"
"You better…" he stroked her cheek affectionately, and leant in to kiss her softly, but when she didn't break away, he deepened it, passion coursing through his body.
"Does this mean operation "acting like us in the kitchen" is back in action?" she asked sarcastically when they finally separated.
"Absolutely." he said, a proud smirk on his face. He kissed her button nose.
"Sandy?" she whispered softly.
"Kirsten?" she smiled up at him.
"Tell me that you love me." her eyes begged him, needing to hear the sincerity of his voice.
"I love you. More than anything, or anyone in this entire universe," his tone lightened a little, "and I you need to start believing me when I tell you that because I hate to see you crying when you should be moaning. It's never good for a guy's ego to think he's so awful, that even his wife of twenty years cries because--" she kissed him softly, and cuddled up to him again, and pulling the covers up closely around their bodies.
"Good. Cus I love you too." she weaved her hand with his and finally shut her eyes, able to sleep after this crazy night.