Summary: When Ivy starts acting mysterious, Zack and Carmen team up to discover her secret. Hilarity ensues.

Disclaimer: Carmen & Co belong to somebody else. I'm just borrowing them for awhile.

Author's Note: A birthday fic for the fabulous aptasi! Thanks for the great prompt. Oh, and though it starts out a bit dark...um...let's just say this fic is more of a black comedy.

This fic contains some references to drug use and sexual innuendos. If you can make it through your average episode of Gossip Girl or whatever the kids watch these days, you should be ok.

Something was up with Ivy.

Zack first noticed it at Versailles. He stood next to his sister, dejected, having watched Carmen Sandiego jet-pack off into the sunset for what must have been the umpteenth time. He slammed his fist onto the keyboard of an 18th century harpsichord, nearly sending the docent into an epileptic fit. "I can't believe she got away again, sis."

Ivy clapped him on the shoulder. "Don't take it so hard, little bro. There's always next crime."

Don't take it so hard? Who are you and what have you done with my sister? "Well, at least we can enjoy Paris while we're here."

"You can stick around if you want, but I'm kind of looking forward to going home. Think I'll turn in early tonight."

"Suit yourself, I guess." Zack watched his sister step into the blue lights of the C-5 corridor. As she left, he thought he saw the tiniest of smiles ghost across her face. Yup, something was definitely up with Ivy.

Over the next couple of months, Zack watched his sister closely. Ivy started leaving work early and coming home late. When he asked where she was going and if he could come, she only told him "Out" and "No" in that order. His first thought was that she must have a new boyfriend. So, he asked her about it one night after work.

"So, who's the new guy?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your new boyfriend. The one you're always sneaking off to see. What's so wrong with him that you won't bring him around? Does he have a mullet or something?" Zack joked.

His sister flushed red. "I don't have a boyfriend."

"Oh. Girlfriend?" he asked cautiously.

She threw a couch pillow at him. "It's nothing! No one! Just mind your own business for once!"

"Okay, I'll leave it alone," Zack lied.

He did absolutely nothing of the kind. There was a mystery here and Zack was determined to get to the bottom of it. One evening after his sister left for one of her mysterious errands, he got in his car and tailed her to an industrial park on the far outskirts of town. It certainly didn't seem like the place one would go for a romantic rendezvous. That shot down his boyfriend theory in flames.

A few days later, he overheard her talking on her cell phone, placing an order for "a kilo of your best product." Zack panicked. It was worse than he thought. Could his sister be mixed up in something bad? Had the pressure of being assigned to Carmen's case driven her to taking drugs? But she had seemed so happy and relaxed lately. Normally after a failed attempt to capture Carmen, Ivy spent the rest of the week stomping around ACME, a scowl affixed to her face, barking at anyone who got in her way. Or sometimes she holed herself up in the Agency gym for hours and took her frustrations out on the heavy bag with her fists. After these past few capers, she just seemed to shrug it off. Very mellow and balanced about it all.

Okay, so maybe it really was drugs.

Zack made a mental note to check his sister's pockets for Canadian supergrass or magic mushrooms or whatever Ivy had been smoking lately to put her in such a good mood. Zack would have liked to believe it was something simple like meditation or yoga, but that didn't explain the strange phone calls or trips to the wrong side of the tracks. But staging some kind of intervention about it was easier said than done. His sister was stubborn even under the best of circumstances, there was no telling how defensive she would be about something as serious as this. And wouldn't you know, just when Zack thought he had finally found the perfect quiet moment to have this very difficult conversation, they were interrupted by the Chief.

"Hot tip, gumshoes! A break-in at the College of the Bahamas last night is now being attributed to none other than that infamous lady in red, Carmen Sandiego!" he proclaimed.

"What did she take?" Ivy asked.

"According to the local Bahamanian police- don't you love that word, Bahamanian? I could say it all day, Bahamanian, Bahamanian, Bahamanian…"

"Chief!"

"Where were we? According to the local cops, she didn't take anything of real value. Just a bunch of files from their personnel department."

Zack scratched his head. "Carmen's stolen some pretty random stuff in her time, but this might just be the strangest. Though I can't stay I'd ever turn down a trip to the Bahamas. Maybe we can get in a little surfing while we're there, eh, sis?"

"I..uh..I'm gonna have to sit this case out, little bro," his sister said regretfully.

"What? Since when do you pass up a chance at Carmen?"

Ivy's cheeks turned pink but she kept her voice steady. "I have something I need to do this week. You can ask the Chief- I already put in for the vacation days."

He turned to the Chief. "Is this true?"

If the Chief had shoulders, he would have shrugged. "Yup."

"And you won't even tell me what it's about?" Ivy shook her head. Zack balled his hands into his fists. "Fine. Don't get too jealous if I capture Carmen without you."

"Looks like you're going to need another partner for this one, hombre," the Chief prompted.

"I know exactly the girl for the job. Can't wait to see what Tatiana looks like in a bikini." Zack grinned wolfishly.

"Uh…are you sure it's a good idea to work a case with your girlfriend?" his sister asked.

"It's my case now, Ivy, and I'll work it whatever way I want to."