Welcome to One True Waifu!
Where we explain why your OTP may/may not work out, regardless of your feelings!
A set of curtains opened, revealing a plain, yellow stage with a large black screen. The host, Ayano, walked onto the stage clad in a white tuxedo (women's cut). She was greeted by applause generated by a studio audience.
"Welcome, audience!" Ayano said, waving her hand with a flourish. "Welcome to the pilot episode of 'One True Waifu', where we invite over a male character and his potential waifus and discern which ship makes the most logical sense while crushing the hopes and dreams of many a fan girl! Today, we have with us the 'Fatal Lightning', the 'Child of Destiny', the alleged 'Destroyer of Worlds'… Jin Kazama!"
Applause erupted as the floor opened and a golden, fake jewel encrusted throne rose, on which sat Jin Kazama. And he was definitely sitting there voluntarily and was not chained to the seat in any way. Whatever would make you say that?
"Mr. Jin Kazama, any thoughts on being the first character on this show?" Ayano asked. He just glared at her.
"…Moving on then…Bozu, how about a little background info on our contestant?"
"Jin Kazama made his debut in Tekken 3 and has returned for every title since. Considered the protagonist of the series, Jin is the son of Kazuya Mishima and Jun Kazama and is known for his dysfunctional relationship with his family, starting World War III and the fact that he brought sexy back to Tekken. I mean, seriously, look at him!"
A few squeals and woos sounded from the audience, all of which sounded very female. Jin did nothing to acknowledge them, visibly irritated about something. I couldn't imagine what…
"Story wise, he's a tragic anti-hero. Personality wise, he's silent, angry and depressed, without going into detail. Also, he's a Momma's Boy through and through."
A long and loud "Aw" sounded and Jin looked at his shoes, refusing to make eye contact with anyone.
"His hobbies include long walks in the forest, regularly attempting suicide and arguing with the voices inside his head. He is also unemployed, currently."
"Thanks, Bozu," Ayano said, shuffling the papers in her hands. "But of course, it takes two for a ship and three or more for a ship war. So, without further ado, we introduce his top three waifus in order of appearance in the games!"
Three podiums rose from the floor, labelled by the numbers '1','2' and '3' respectively.
"First off is the 'Silent Assassin', the 'Cold-Blooded Killer'… Nina Williams!"
Nina walked on stage, wearing a sleek black jacket with matching slacks, and stood behind the first podium while ignoring the applause. She smirked at the sight of Jin and he gave her an imploring look, which definitely wasn't a silent 'help me'. That's just ridiculous.
"You managed to drag him here?" Nina asked. "I'm impressed."
"He came here of his own free will, just like you did," Ayano smiled. Jin gave Nina an astonished look that just screamed, "Why?"
"I thought it'd be funny," Nina replied to his stare. "Debating who belongs with an asexual."
"Nina Williams has been a participant in every Tekken game ever, also starring in her own game called 'Death By Degrees', being the only female Tekken character to do so. She's an assassin, with no successful hits, who's occasionally trying to kill her sister and is actually in her forties."
Nina's eyebrow twitched as the audience let out a collective gasp.
"For the most part, she's aloof with the occasional sadism and a side helping of flirtatious. She enjoys travelling and she's a fan of milk tea and scotch."
"Next we have the 'High-Spirited Girl', the 'Dancing Phoenix'… Ling Xiaoyu!"
Xiaoyu bounded towards the second podium, clad in her orange qípáo and white shorts. She had a huge grin on her face as she waved to her admirers. Looking around, her eyes eventually landed on Jin and they widened immensely, her mouth opening in surprise.
"Hi, Jin!" Xiaoyu squealed, waving furiously at the man in question.
"Hello Xiao," he replied, tonelessly.
"Ling Xiaoyu debuted alongside Jin Kazama in Tekken 3. She was Jin's school-mate, aspires to build her own amusement park and has a pet panda named Panda… yeah…"
"Her mother gave her that name, okay?" Xiaoyu yelled, indignantly.
"She is a Genki Girl, with emphasis on the Genki, and loves amusement parks. Very much so..."
"And last, but certainly not least, we have the 'Gang Mediator', the 'Kansai Peacemaker'… Asuka Kazama!"
There was the sound of many things falling over and many more bones breaking before Asuka tripped onto the stage, still in her school uniform.
"What the hell is going on here?!" Asuka yelled, hands on her hips as the crowd applauded. "Why did a bunch of suits bring me here?!"
"Well, you see," Ayano began. "You have been selected to take part in a little game show of ours."
"If that was the case, you could've just asked me nicely! Why the hell did you think kidnapping me was the better option?!"
"We didn't think you'd come quietly…"
"The *censored*–"
"I'd love to let you finish but this is a family show and we have limited time, so please take your spot. I assure you, we will compensate for the lost time," Ayano interrupted, gesturing to the last podium. Asuka huffed and stomped over to her spot.
"Wait," Jin spoke up. "So you acknowledge that you brought her here against her will but not me?"
"You!" Asuka exclaimed in realisation, pointing Jin's way before cracking her knuckles and laughing grimly. "You're not getting off easy this time! I'll whoop your *censored* so bad!"
"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't allow that," Ayano stepped in Asuka's way as she advanced toward Jin, beating Nina and Xiaoyu to it. "You see, he needs to remain unharmed for the remainder of this episode. His contract says so."
"What contract?" Jin asked, confused to the point of despair.
"But he–"
"Tell you what," Ayano interrupted her. "Leave him alone for the rest of the episode and you can do whatever you want once this is over."
"I'm right here," Jin muttered.
Asuka considered this before saying "Fine."
"Stellar!" Ayano smiled. Asuka walked back to her position.
"Asuka Kazama first appeared in Tekken 5 and has returned for every game since. She is mostly known for sharing her last name with the series protagonist. Though their exact relationship has not been explicitly stated as of yet, I'm sure many fans have their own comments on the matter."
"They're cousins!" someone yelled.
"Siblings!" added another.
"Father and daughter!"
There was an awkward silence after that remark. Asuka looked about ready to choke someone while Jin closed his eyes and prayed to the heavens.
"Anyway… she's the only Kazama in the series to be loud and hot-headed and the third or second to have a strong sense of justice, depending on your opinion of Jin. Her hobbies include vigilantism and handing people their butts on a silver platter. She enjoys hip hop music and the company of a certain Spanish–"
"SHUT UP!" Asuka yelled, red in the face. Probably due to anger and definitely not because of embarrassment. Whatever made you think otherwise?
"Thanks for the info, Bozu!" Ayano said. "And that concludes the introductions! As such, all those who ship Jin with anyone else should leave now because you have nothing to gain. Bye!"
"What about Christie–"
"Non-canon!" Ayano sang.
"Hwoarang–"
"–is a man. Read the name of the show!" Ayano pointed to the large neon sign on the stage, anticipating many homophobe remarks. Half of the audience then left with a heavy heart.
"First off, this show's only condition. We will only be acknowledging the canon for points which means that, in this case, sources like movies, the tag and crossover games, fan-fiction, fan art and everything in-between will be ignored unless needed."
"I can smell the rage comments from here!"
"Thank you, Bozu. We will be analysing character interactions and confirming opinions wherever we can. Superficial things such as appearances, archetypes and shippers' opinions will be taken with a grain of salt. With that out of the way, let us begin!"
The audience applauded as Ayano took her place next to the screen.
"Phase one involves establishing our man's opinions of his potential waifus and their opinion of him. This would have been difficult to determine because of the game's nature, but it won't be, thanks to the second tag game! To those who don't know, the second tag game has an interesting feature where your tag partner can enter their 'Rage Mode' faster, depending on their opinion of their partner, making our job much easier."
"But I thought you said that we wouldn't pay attention to non-canon games?" Xiaoyu asked after raising her hand.
"I also said unless needed," Ayano replied, shortly. "Bozu, show us the data!"
The screen turned white and black text appeared.
Jin
Likes: Nina
Dislikes: Anna, Bruce, Christie, Jack-6, Jun, Lee, Raven, Xiaoyu
Hates: Alisa, Devil Jin, Heihachi, Jinpachi, Kazuya, Lars, Lei, Ogre, Zafina
"You could have just asked me…" Jin said.
"Is the information not correct?"
"… No, it's fine…"
"Then it doesn't matter."
"I object!" Xiaoyu called, bouncing on her spot. "Jin doesn't dislike me! We went to school together! Right, Jin?"
She looked his way and he averted his gaze.
"Right?!"
"…Well, I don't hate you…"
The crowd responded with an 'Oooooh' while many of the shippers started adding their own remarks, but they were paid no heed. Xiaoyu retorted with a "But this game is non-canon! It says me and Alisa like each other, even though our whole relationship is non-canon–"
"It also says you like Jin, Panda, Wang and Heihachi," Ayano interrupted. "Are those non-canon?"
Xiaoyu was silent, scrunching up her lips.
"Do the other two waifus have anything to say?" Ayano asked.
Nina gave a small smirk while Asuka asked, "What does my name not being there mean?"
"It means I have no opinion of you," Jin responded before Ayano could answer.
"Oh…" Asuka said while putting her hands behind her head. "I'm good now."
"So, according to these results, Nina already takes the lead with one point while Xiaoyu and Asuka score none."
Xiaoyu's bubbly attitude vanished at that moment, replaced by an expression of resentment, while Asuka searched for split ends.
"And now for the waifus!"
The screen showed the information in succession.
Nina
Likes: Eddy, Jin
Dislikes: Christie, Lars, Lei, Steve
Hates: Anna, Ogre
"One more point for Nina!" Ayano said. A portion of the audience applauded while many in it shouted 'boo'.
Xiaoyu
Likes: Alisa, Heihachi, Jin, Lee, Panda, Wang
Dislikes: Anna, Asuka, Lili, Ogre
"One point for Xiaoyu!" Ayano said. Many shippers rejoiced at the obvious news. Xiaoyu beamed.
Asuka
Likes: Bob, Lei, Leo, Miguel
Dislikes: Alisa, Ogre
Hates: Feng, Jin, Lili
"And that adds nothing for Asuka," Ayano said, with none of the audience showing any surprise.
"You think I'd like the dude who started a World War?" Asuka said, folding her arms.
"So now, Nina scores two points, Xiaoyu scores one and Asuka scores zero!"
The screen was wiped blank and this information was displayed in the form of a tally chart.
"Of course, this just establishes the most basic opinion, so we shall quiz the three on one thing that is most iconic to Jin… his family!"
"Oh God…" Jin groaned.
"But to ask them to elaborate this way may screw up the results, considering they can pick up info from whoever goes first, so we took the liberty of arranging interviews in advance! Bozu?"
The screen switched to a video of Nina sitting on a white couch.
Bozu: Miss Williams, we'd like you to tell us what you know about Jin Kazama's family.
Nina: You know there is such a thing as personal privacy? But I suppose there is no avoiding it. 'Dysfunctional' is an understatement. As far as I know, he hates his dad and granddad and the feeling is mutual. I know this because I was there when the three of them were at war. I've been told it 'runs in the family' and there has only been one exception so far... so I guess it must be true. I'm sure you could tell from the way they're constantly trying to kill each other. I'd say more but I have no right to judge, considering I have a minx to deal with as well. I'll just leave it with 'I don't blame him one bit'.
Bozu: Thank you for your time.
"Being well-versed with his family problem gives Nina one point and siding with him against Kazuya and Heihachi earns another," Ayano stated as the video ended. "Next!"
Bozu: So Miss Ling, we'd like you to tell us what you know about Jin Kazama's family.
Xiaoyu: Eh? Is this a reality show?
Bozu: You can call it that.
Xiaoyu: Wow!
Bozu: As for the question…?
Xiaoyu: Oh, right! Grandpa Heihachi is really nice! Even though he's done a few bad things, he's the one who let me come to Mishima Polytechnic and gave Panda to me! He and Jin and Dad are always fighting and it's really sad. But I'm hoping that when we get married, they'll be able to get along. Grandpa Heihachi already likes me, so I'm sure Dad will too!
Bozu: Yes, well… um… thank you for your time.
"Well… I suppose that earns her one point for knowing about the conflict…" Ayano said, awkwardly.
"Why only one?" Xiaoyu asked, indignantly placing her hands on her hips.
"I think someone should tell her…" Ayano whispered in the direction of backstage. She was replied by a quiet "Maybe later."
Xiaoyu was disgruntled, to say the least. Before she could say anything else, Ayano yelled "Next!"
Bozu: So Miss… Kazama, we'd like you to tell us–
Asuka: What's with the camera? Am I on TV?
Bozu: You will be.
Asuka: Cool! Hey, mom! Dad! Can you see me?!
Bozu: Um, Miss Kazama, can you tell us anything about Jin Kazama's–
Asuka: What about that son of a *censored*?! Yes, I'm related to him but I didn't help start a war!
Bozu: But what about the rest of his family? Do you know anything about them?
Asuka: Of *censored* course not! Now buzz off, or I'll kick your *censored* all the way to Tokyo!
"Thankfully no one was injured but this earns Asuka no points," Ayano said. "This totals as four for Nina, two for Xiaoyu and zero for Asuka. And with that, Phase One is concluded."
"Can I leave now?" Jin asked.
"Hey! You said I could kick his *censored*!" Asuka snapped, eyeing Jin with venom.
"We will continue to Phase Two after these messages!"
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"Welcome back to 'One True Waifu'!" Ayano exclaimed. "When we left off, Nina Williams had taken the lead with four points, followed by Ling Xiaoyu with two points. Asuka Kazama, however, had scored nothing."
Some applause broke out.
"Now we continue onto Phase Two. Phase Two involves analysing the character interactions and ship tease. This is problematic for the reason that majority of character interactions and development happens in character endings and interludes, with only a handful of these are actually considered canon to the story."
The audience let out shared sounds of disappointment.
"However, because they provide a good idea of how the characters would interact with each other, we shall acknowledge and analyse every little scene of relevance."
Many cheered at this statement.
"We shall start with Nina Williams," Ayano said as the screen turned black. There was polite applause before Ayano cleared her throat and began.
"Initially, there was absolutely no interaction between the two in the first five games, save for a little titbit in Tekken 3, where Nina was brainwashed by Ogre into attempting to assassinate Jin."
"What?" Jin shot up, glancing at Nina, who shrugged.
"Relax, she had no say in the matter," Ayano reassured him. "Anyway, there was little to support… until Tekken 6 came around, where Jin decided to hire Nina as his bodyguard and right-hand man– er, woman -and she accepted. Her prologue tells us that she entered the sixth tournament to 'eliminate all who posed a threat to Jin'. All yandere subtext aside, one could argue that for Nina, this was simply professional, as her prologue also says that 'she isn't picky about her clients'. However–"
"Do I get any say in this?" Nina asked, irritated.
"No, the four of you are just here to look pretty unless I say your opinion is needed."
Nina let out a "Tsk" and turned her head the other way.
"However, playing through Scenario Campaign shows you more. There are many cut scenes that include interactions between Jin and Nina."
The screen began to play clips from Tekken 6 as Ayano narrated them.
"Firstly, we're given a little hint in the cut scene 'Missing in Action' where once Jin proceeds to taunt Eddy and be jerk–"
"Jin isn't a bad person!" Xiaoyu yelled.
"But you were being a *censored*," Nina stated, glancing at Jin. Jin sighed, remorse lacing his face.
"Next time, you are required to raise your hand if you want to add something," Ayano said, sternly. "However, you may not add any speculation of your own. That is strictly fanon territory."
Nina and Xiaoyu nodded reluctantly, Jin remained silent while Asuka continued to not pay any attention, tapping away at her phone.
"Moving on… Jin decides to take his leave and Nina promptly asks him where he's going, to which he says that she already knew. This shall be elaborated on later. In 'An Ominous Legend', Nina appears alongside Jin as they are confronted by Zafina. Granted, this could be taken as her just doing her duty and she never really contributed anything to the scene so we won't touch on it further. 'All According To Plan' consists entirely of Jin and Nina interaction, where Jin and Nina basically talk about Lars not posing a threat–"
Ayano was interrupted this time by very loud, feminine squeals. Looking at the screen, she realised why.
It was showing the part of the cut scene where Jin sports a pair of sexy sunglasses. Ayano resisted the urge to join in and fangirl, reminding herself that he was wearing sunglasses at night and this was just a scene of pure fan service.
Regaining her composure, Ayano cleared her throat and the squeals ended. Xiaoyu continued to stare dreamily at the screen and Asuka got up from the floor, having been startled by the sudden upsurge in noise. Jin and Nina just closed their eyes in irritation.
"… Jin and Nina talk about Lars not posing a threat and Nina reminds him that they have to get a move on, just like last time, and we get another hint that Nina is well aware of Jin's plans. In 'Betrayal', which is every Larisa shipper's favourite cut scene mind you, Nina and Alisa witness Jin and Lars' fight coming to a draw and Nina proceeds to walk up to Jin and look at him in a way that basically says 'You finished? We need to go' and Jin follows suit, and everyone knows what happens next."
The audience let out murmurs of assent.
"Finally, we have 'The Truth' which is basically what made people start shipping Jin and Nina legitimately. After Jin explains his motives for starting World War III and disposes of Azazel, Lars is approached by Nina, who… you know what? I'll just play the clip of interest for you."
Everyone, save Nina and Asuka, turned their attention to the screen as the excerpt began to play.
Lars: You knew, didn't you?
Nina: Yes. But… what's done is done. Jin… Jin put everything he had into this one moment. It's not for me to judge if he was right or wrong. Maybe you're such a saint, you think you can. But somehow, I doubt it.
The screen faded to black and Ayano began.
"Now, that we've been presented with the evidence, allow me to share my analysis. While people may claim that Jin and Nina's relationship is 'strictly professional', their interactions imply otherwise, the most definitive point being that Jin told Nina his plan. Ever since Tekken 4, Jin has never been one to share much with anyone, with good reason too, and has kept to himself. He has never told anyone the details of his plans and has operated alone all this time. In the sixth game, he forms his most elaborate plan yet, starting a world war to summon Azazel and then defeat him, supposedly ridding the world of the Devil Gene. And the one person he chooses to share this plan with is Nina, as opposed to people like Hwoarang and Xiaoyu, who are popularly known as the closest thing that Jin has to friends! Nina Williams, who he's only known for one game! That, to me, shows an incredible amount of trust!"
Many in the audience murmured among each other. Nina had a slight smile on her face and looked at Jin.
"That true, Jin?"
"Well–" Jin started, but Ayano cut him short.
"I'd love for you to go on, but I can't take creative license with what has yet to be confirmed, so please remain silent, lest we anger the fans."
Everyone on stage shuddered in horror, save for Asuka. She was busy looking up cat videos on YouTube.
"So this pretty much proves Jin's opinion of Nina. As for Nina… in Scenario Campaign, many characters often ask Nina why she so tenaciously protects Jin, to which she simply replies 'It's my job'. Alisa even replies that it may be more than just that. Also, if you bring your attention back to Nina's conversation with Lars, one can see and hear a hint of sadness and despair as she talks, and discord when questioning Lars' right to judge Jin. Very subtle hints, granted, but there nonetheless, that Nina had positive feelings toward Jin – positive, not romantic!" Ayano added as many began to shout. "Calm down! Anyway, this is also lampshaded by Jin and Nina's TTT2 win poses. One caters to their professional relationship while the other can be seen as flirting on Nina's part – can be, not should be!" yelled Ayano as the crowd began to rise up again. "Dear Lord, no wonder Tekken has so many crack ships! You people have incredibly poor comprehension skills!"
The staff proceeded to handle the situation, requiring a short intermission. Eventually, the audience was calmed down and Ayano could resume.
"Continuing on Nina's feelings, to those who think this is still her being 'professional' as she really gets into her jobs, you need to be reminded that the reason Nina excels at assassination, even though she has no successful hit as of yet, is because she doesn't give it any thought. In Tekken 4, despite suffering from amnesia, she's still assassinating people just for money, not because she loves her job, or revels in killing, or any other reason. She simply sees it as a source of income and performs it without passion, the best example being in her Tekken 4 ending. She was supposed to assassinate Steve Fox, but when she learned that she was his mother, she couldn't go through with it."
A look of sorrow flashed across Nina's face before she quickly changed back to indifference.
"That proves that she's only as committed to the job as she wants to be. She may have initially just accepted Jin's offer just for the money but that definitely isn't the only thing influencing her actions throughout Tekken 6. As for her insistence that it is professional… well, I've added enough speculation so, for now, I'll just say that she's a tsundere."
The audience released an "Ah!" and Nina just shrugged, not being able to say anything in fear of angering the fans.
"So, now we must consider how many points this earns for her," Ayano stated. "Personally speaking, earning Jin's trust should earn her all the points in the world, but I have to be non-biased. So I suppose it'll earn three points because it is still a big deal. Entering the tournament for him earns another. She defending Jin's morality yet letting him follow through with his plans earns her two more. This leads to a grand total of… ten points!"
The screen showed the tally chart again. Six more points were added to Nina's column.
Normally, the fans would have reacted with noise, but they had decided to be a good audience and just listen. And they definitely were not being held at gun point. That's just absurd.
"Next is Ling Xiaoyu, who I'm sure many have been waiting for."
Xiaoyu crossed her arms, a determined smile on her face.
"Before I begin, I'm just going to let you know that we will not be considering Tekken X Street Fighter, Project X Zone or Tekken: Blood Vengeance. With that out of the way…"
"Despite debuting in Tekken 3, Xiaoyu's possible connection with Jin wasn't alluded to until Tekken Tag Tournament. In TTT, one of the two endings Xiaoyu has involves a scene," Ayano narrated as the screen began to play said clip. "…where Jin is just walking away from school–"
The fan girls plus Xiaoyu squealed, yet again, at the sight of Jin in his school uniform. This time, Ayano went on without halting.
"… and Xiaoyu approaches him for a quick, one-sided conversation before walking away. This confirms that Jin and Xiaoyu were school-mates and were on speaking terms, despite the game being considered non-canon. In Tekken 4, Xiaoyu receives an anonymous e-mail warning her about Heihachi, from who she assumes to be Jin, but since nothing in canon has been said to confirm this, we shall ignore it. She enters the tournament in hopes of being reunited with Jin, which hinted at positive feelings toward him. Her ending from that game-"
Xiaoyu's Tekken 4 ending began to play on the screen, fast-forwarded to the point of interest.
"-tells us that Jin encouraged Xiaoyu to follow her dreams and to strive for them before disappearing. True, this isn't canon, but this hinted that Jin also had neutral to positive feelings for Xiaoyu too. That is… until TTT2. Well, let's just say that his feelings are neutral overall for the sake of everyone involved–"
"Jin," Xiaoyu said, gazing at Jin with tear-filled eyes. "It's not true, is it?"
Jin opened his mouth, but Ayano cut him off with a "Yes, yes it is. It's been proven."
The tears vanished and Xiaoyu snapped her head in the other direction, a frown evident on her face.
"In Tekken 5, Jin is Xiaoyu's sub-boss and they have a couple of interludes, where Jin tells Xiaoyu to leave because the tournament is dangerous, but she insists that she'll be able to fix all the problems of the Mishima Zaibatsu and that everything will go back to the way things used to be. Jin doesn't appear in her ending, nor is he alluded to, and Xiaoyu might as well be non-existent as far as Jin's story is concerned–"
"Hey!" Xiaoyu yelled.
"I'm just saying," Ayano shrugged.
"Someone's got a death wish," Nina murmured, smirking all the while.
"Moving on to Tekken 6, where Xiaoyu is distressed because of Jin's 'activities' and joins the tournament to reason with him. Her ending will not be considered at all–"
"Bias! I call bias!" Xiaoyu interrupted, raising her hand as well so that Ayano couldn't snap at her.
"The reasoning behind that is because it was a dream. As such, everything was as Xiaoyu thinks and that isn't necessarily true to the canon."
"Go on," Xiaoyu demanded, stubbornly.
"Well," Ayano spun on her heel, facing Xiaoyu. "Jin wouldn't commit suicide by jumping off a building! Lord knows, he has more class than that–"
Jin almost let out a laugh, but his hard-ass attitude wouldn't allow that. Therefore, Nina laughed at both of their expenses "I keep forgetting she's a closet fan girl."
"–and he wouldn't kick the bucket because of 'the evil he has committed'! He'd do it to end his lineage once he snuffed out dad and granddad. Also, he'd do it in a more bad-ass, over-the-top way, like he tried in Scenario Campaign. Finally, I'm sure he'd survive jumping off a building, because of the Devil Gene, so there would be no point."
Ayano let out a sigh once she ended her rant. Xiaoyu couldn't reply and many in the audience went "Wow". Ayano rose to her full height and looked Jin's way, saying "You better be flattered."
Jin didn't say anything.
"So, her ending will not be considered as an interaction, but it was definitely the first to prove that Xiaoyu's feelings for Jin were romantic in nature. And finally, we have TTT2, where Miharu hints at Xiaoyu's crush on Jin, though she denies it. Now for my words."
"I will admit, without a doubt, that Xiaoyu's feelings for Jin are romantic. There's no denying it. Two out of four times, he was the reason for her entering the tournaments. She cares deeply for him, hopes for a potential romantic relationship with him, has an image of him that can never be tarnished and acts with jealousy towards any potential rivals, which is shown time and time again in Scenario Campaign. These are definitive indications that her feelings surpass those of 'just friends' and provide good reasons for people to ship them. However, this pairing would have been even more plausible if Jin had contributed something as well. So far, the only indications that Jin cares for Xiaoyu is when he tells her not to participate in the tournaments and the very prominent fact that Devil Jin–"
"Devil Jin?" Jin cut in. "That's what you all call him? Really?"
"Jin, the developers are the ones who decided that," Nina sighed. Ayano went on.
"Devil Jin suffers severe head trauma when Hwoarang, Xiaoyu or Asuka–"
"What?" Asuka asked, her attention snapping away from her phone.
"There's cola in the drawer," Ayano replied, unfazed.
"Sweet!" Asuka smiled and she pulled her pedestal's drawer open. Nina and Xiaoyu gave her unimpressed looks.
"Devil Jin suffers severe head trauma when those three people are in his line of sight. One of them is justified by having supernatural powers, while the others can only be explained as being of some importance to Jin. But other than that, he does nothing. Absolutely nothing. Even in Scenario Campaign, Xiaoyu has no special dialogue in Jin's stage and Jin is even worse in Xiaoyu's stage, wherein he just tells her to stop following him and that whatever he does doesn't concern her. There are, of course, two possible theories to justify this. First off, he could be acting villainous to keep people away from him, but Scenario Campaign disproves this. In the earlier mentioned 'The Truth', Jin admits that in his quest to defeat Azazel, he had become more like that he was trying to destroy. This proves that his heinous behaviour was not a ruse but character development… the type that he didn't approve of. The second theory is that this is how he shows affection. To that, I say 'Jun Kazama'."
The fans let out a collective groan, knowing where this was going.
"Jun Kazama. His mother. The one person he loved the most in the world and still thinks about to this day. Think of how he expresses his affection to her. In Tekken 6's prologue, he goes on and on about how much he misses her and how he wishes he could be with her again. Jin is more than capable of showing affection but, so far, the only one actually receives it is his mother… though Nina is pretty close–"
"BOO!"
"Right, right, must stick to canon. I forgot. Sorry," Ayano rubbed her head, sheepishly. "Anyhow, all this points to Jin either disliking or being indifferent towards Xiaoyu. Hell, this has even been implied by their TTT2 win poses. One of them has Xiaoyu trying to celebrate their victory, but he just stands there, while the second…"
The clip in question played on the screen, showing Xiaoyu tripping over while Jin just looks on.
"Um… can we see Lars and Alisa's?" Ayano asked. A clip of Alisa tripping but then being assisted by Lars plays.
"I dunno about you all, but I found this hilarious," Ayano said, before clearing her throat yet again. Xiaoyu stomped her feet in irritation.
"So, points… I say, give her two points for her entering the tournament for him twice, one more for the aforementioned 'head trauma' and one more for defending his character, even though he wouldn't agree at this point. This leads to a grand total of… six points!"
The audience applauded politely as the screen changed, once again, to a tally chart and four points were added to Xiaoyu's column.
"We'll continue to the last waifu, after the break!" Ayano exclaimed with a smile.
…A battle for power…
"Now that dad's gone, no one can protect you, Isabelle…"
…A battle for survival…
"Arcaina, are there no limits to which you won't sink?"
…A battle for closure…
"We used to come here all the time… back then, she kept begging for my forgiveness…"
"For what?"
"…For trying to drown me."
…Starring Anna Williams…
"All this pain, all this suffering, just because you think you're better than me?!"
…and Nina Williams…
"Oh, sweet Isabelle, I knew that all my life. This was all for you to realise the same…"
…Two sisters…
"I should have ended your life all those years ago!"
…Two swords…
"Would have saved you much humiliation, yes?"
...One outcome…
"…Was there ever a time, even in the smallest… where we loved each other?"
"Love is a lie. You deserve the cold, hard truth…"
…Arcaina & Isabelle: Blood Sisters…
…In Cinemas now…
… (Smart people will get it)…
"And we're back!" Ayano greeted. "When we last left off, Nina Williams was at ten points, Ling Xiaoyu had six and Asuka Kazama still had none. However, she probably won't be at zero for long, as she's next!"
Asuka's head snapped up, her bottle of cola either half empty or half full. It depends on your outlook on life.
"You need to pay attention now, I'm afraid."
"This episode's about to end, right?" Asuka inquired, setting her bottle down on the pedestal.
"Once we're done with you and determine the winner then, yes, the episode will end," Ayano stated.
"And I can kick Jin's *censored*, right?"
"That is what I said."
"Hell yeah! Let's do this!" Asuka jumped ecstatically. And at her words, the screen turned black.
"Asuka Kazama made her debut in Tekken 5 and, right off the bat, people were wondering who she was and what her connection to Jin was. Of course, when the time came, we got no closure, and I can't tell you how frustrating it is that–"
"Ayano, dear, save your rant for another day. We're pressed for time."
"Oh, right," Ayano breathed. "Thanks, Bozu. You're right. Moving on… so fans were expecting some character interaction between the two and got…"
The screen began to play Asuka's Tekken 5 ending. Everyone had mixed reactions. Some laughed, some gagged, some blushed and some (like Xiaoyu and Asuka) began to fume.
"Yeah, folks, that's where the shipping began," Ayano grinned. "And, apart from a few interactions with Devil Jin, that was it. But this one ending said a lot, which I'll speak about later. Coming to Tekken 6, Asuka realises that Jin was a relative and enters the tournament to apprehend him for his crimes… and that's it, folks. Really. Straight into the speculation we go then."
Asuka and Jin braced themselves for the worst.
"Now, since this is my OTP, I'll be able to explain the thinking behind this ship–"
"INCEST!" someone in the audience yelled.
"Not in Asia, it isn't!" Ayano retorted, far too tired of these claims. "Anyway, in Asuka's ending, it was revealed that Asuka had the power to suppress the Devil Gene. Now, the last person who was able to do it was Jin's mother, Jun Kazama, so this really surprised a lot of people. Many were actually expecting and hoping that Jin would seek out Asuka, or vice versa, because of this. But, instead, nothing happened and Asuka was put in the back and all she's good for is that one-sided *censored* rivalry that many have interpreted as ship tease and it just further–"
"Ayano!" Bozu cut in.
"Sorry!" Ayano yelled, face palming.
"Wow," Asuka remarked. "You really care about this, don't you?"
"I just hate wasted potential," Ayano sighed. "Anyway, speaking relationship wise, Asuka knows Jin and hates him for starting a world war but Jin is indifferent to her. In Scenario Campaign, Jin calls her 'loud and annoying' when he is in her stage. But when she goes on about how her father is in the hospital and that he's ruined everything, he apologises. That's right. Apologises! Granted, we can't tell how sincere it was, considering it was just text and that he was smirking during it too, but in Tekken 6 Jin had pretty much become a horrible person. He taunts Hwoarang over the state of his master and tells Xiaoyu to get lost, which is vastly different from how he treated them in Tekken 5. He insults Asuka too, but says sorry for the things happening in her life and tells her it'll be over soon. I won't deny that this could also be a taunt, but it's still a different taunt from all the others he's been giving to everyone as of late. Not to mention, it catches Asuka off guard as well, who then insists that he's gonna get his butt handed to him, regardless of what sweet talk he does."
Nina let out a chuckle, Xiaoyu was livid and Asuka had a blush creeping on her face.
"Apart from that, TTT2 gives us some more. While Jin feels neutral towards her, he has a tag throw with her. They also have two win poses as well. One is what we're very familiar with, where Asuka accuses Jin but he ignores her. The second one shows Asuka rushing forward to shake hands with him, but he ignores her and she looks on at him, irritated and, quite possibly, disappointed. The fact that the game developers included these for the two, I can't help but feel that there may be some interaction between these two someday…"
Ayano let out a sigh, before snapping back to the present.
"Anyhow, points. She gets one for entering the tournament because of him, even if it was to kick his butt. One more for the previously mentioned 'head trauma', even if it is chalked up to her powers. That leads to a total of… two points!"
The tally chart appeared again, adding two points to Asuka's column.
"And with these results, it's quite obvious who the winner is! Scoring ten points, Miss Nina Williams, you have proven yourself to be Mr. Jin Kazama's–"
"ONE! TRUE! WAIFU!" the audience screamed. The audience applauded for the 'happy' couple, regardless of their individual feelings. The staff dropped a tiara with a veil on Nina's head and handed her a bouquet of white roses while fitting a top hat on Jin's head and handing him a bottle of champagne. The two were dragged to the middle of the stage and the fan girls squealed. Xiaoyu gave the couple a death glare and Asuka whistled for them yelling "When do I get to kick his *censored*?!"
"Congrats ya two!" Ayano approached them, holding a *insert religious scripture here*. "By the power invested in me by the director, writers and producers I now pronounce you husbando and waifu!"
It was at this point that Jin grabbed the top hat, crushed it and threw it on the floor.
"…Or not," Ayano said. The audience let out a gasp and Xiaoyu's spirits were lifted so high, so fast, you'd think she'd hit the ceiling.
"When will you people understand…?" Jin said, ominously. "Do none of you realise that I can't afford to engage in any of this? I chose to die alone! When will you all get this into your-"
However, he couldn't go on as at that point a bright light erupted from between Jin and Nina, which caused everyone to cover their eyes.
"Bozu!" Ayano shouted. "Cut it out with the lights!"
"That's not me, though!"
Before Ayano could express her surprise, the light slowly receded into the shape of a figure. Jin and Nina jumped away and, eventually, the light disappeared altogether, leaving in its place…
"Oh my God," Ayano muttered. Most of the fans also shared the same reactions and Jin continued to stare in shock at the newcomer. Nina was solemn while Xiaoyu and Asuka were confused.
"It's unbelievable, folks!" said Bozu, picking up after Ayano. "It's… Miss Jun Kazama herself!"
Jun turned to Jin, her face betraying no emotion. In stark contrast, Jin's was bathed in astonishment.
"…Ama?" he muttered, daring to believe it was true. Everyone was silent, observing the reunion between mother and son.
"Jin," she said, her tone firm and stern.
She walked up to him and he let out a "…Where were you…?"
"I know what you have been doing. Have you forgotten my teachings?"
Jin's face turned white and sweat appeared on his face, but he couldn't bring himself to break eye contact with Jun.
"I…"
"I don't want to hear it," she reprimanded him. "I made it very clear that you had to marry a Japanese woman, yet you're going around with a foreigner?"
…
"…What?" Ayano let out, voicing the thoughts everyone had. Jin, incredibly confused and shocked at this point, replied with, "Ama, I'm not marrying anyone."
"Oh really?" Jun said, eyeing Nina's tiara and veil. Jin, following her gaze, added a hasty "I can explain."
"Come with me, Jin," Jun said, grabbing Jin's wrist. "I leave for a few minutes, looking for a nice Japanese girl for you, and you go off with some… Westerner?"
"Ama, you left for six years!" Jin exclaimed, incredulously. "And you left to do what?!"
"Clearly, I never should have left you alone!" Jun lectured, proceeding to drag Jin off the stage. "This wedding is off. We're going back to Yakushima."
Not missing a beat, Xiaoyu bounded after them, yelling "Mrs. Kazama! I'm more or less Japanese!"
"She's Chinese," Jin said, quickly. The three of them disappeared from view, but their voices could still be heard.
"None of the women here are any good," Jun replied, resulting in a million cries of despair from the fans, including Ayano. "Except maybe Asuka dear. Perhaps, if we find no one, I can discuss with Junichiro about the two of you–"
"Ama!" Jin cried in defiance. Everyone turned to Asuka, wanting to witness her reaction.
"You know what?" Asuka said, lost in the shock of what just happened. "I think I'll save that *censored* kicking for another day. I'd rather just bleach my brain right now."
Ayano cleared her throat, retrieving everyone's attention.
"Normally, the happy couple gets to go on a honey moon but..." Ayano said, pulling out two tickets for a flight. "... considering the circumstances, we'll have to cancel that."
"Where to?" Nina asked.
"The Maldives, though I suppose we'll have to–"
"Yoink," Nina said, plucking the tickets from Ayano's hands and walking off stage, veiled tiara and bouquet in tow. "Jin'll be happy that his mom's back. Time for some relaxation."
Ayano stared on in disbelief and Asuka walked up to her, seeing no point in staying behind her podium. Ayano quickly regained her composure and went on.
"The runner-ups, Miss Ling Xiaoyu and Miss Asuka Kazama, receive a signed picture of Jin Kazama as a consolation prize."
"Who is it signed by?" Asuka asked out of curiosity.
"Me," Ayano said, bluntly. "They're in the drawer."
"Um… I have to take them, don't I?"
"Absolutely," Ayano smiled, before turning to face the audience. "And that concludes the pilot episode of 'One True Waifu'! Thanks for joining us and we'll hope to see you next time!"
The curtains closed on the stage as the audience applauded for the last time.
There you have it. The pilot episode of a series I hope to continue.
Later Edit: And just for shits and giggles, I'll let you know that Hwoarang would score less than Nina and more than Xiaoyu, and everyone else is WAAAAAAY behind Asuka.
Keep in mind that I just analysed who was the most probable person. I'm not suggesting that they should be the only ship you should support, or that they will be the canon ship of the series. This was just a way for me to share my views. Let's just hope Tekken 7 doesn't do anything to screw up these results XD
Later edit: Tekken 7 barely dented these results, it seems. Both Nina and Xiaoyu get one point more but that's about it.
I tried to be as non-biased as possible and avoid any OOC moments (I might have screwed up Jin though), so let me know how that turned out. If any of you have any requests for the next man to be 'invited' onto the show (not necessarily from Tekken), feel free to let me know in a PM or review, provided this actually gets some positive feedback. Otherwise, this is good as a one-shot too, I guess.
And it's now time for the shameless self-advertisement! For all the Jisuka fans, I have a multi-chapter for those two that's still in progress called 'The Raven, The Wolf & The Ocelot' that you are free to check out!
As for the Jina fans, I have 'Sere', a collection of one-shots and drabbles!
Unfortunately, I cannot provide any Xiaoyin for you, so I guess this is as far as you all go.
And that's it for today! May peace be upon you.