Title: Five Things That Daniel Would Never Do (But Still Fantasizes About)

Summary: Short and silly, title says it all Some D/V UST

Rating: T/M

Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing.

Five Things That Daniel Would Never Do (But Still Fantasizes About)

1. Punching Richard Woolsey in the face. Even though it had been a while since Woolsey and the IOA ordered that Prior Daniel be killed, he was still livid. Woolsey had even refused to kill Khalek when Daniel knew that that would be the best course of action. Then, Daniel ends up as a prior and suddenly Woolsey wants to off him? He was trying to save the galaxy from utter domination from the Ori. Yes, Daniel would love to punch Woolsey in the face, just to get it out of his system.

2. Getting laser eye surgery. Daniel was never a vain man by any means, but that didn't mean that he didn't care about his appearance. At first, glasses seemed to be his only option. They certainly made him look intelligent and the one time he tried to wear contacts, he hated them so much that he vowed to never wear them again. However, the thought of having perfect vision, and never having to worry about where his glasses were, or Vala destroying them (which she had done three times so far), was a very tempting thought. He just couldn't get past the fact that there was even a remote possibility of him going blind if the surgery went awry. He didn't think he could handle not being able to see anything for the rest of his life. So, glasses it was.

3. Going off-world for purely archeological means. Daniel had often wanted to be able to travel off-world at will and explore the endless amounts of planets in the galaxy. As much as he loved working at the SGC, the archeologist side of him always wanted to explore and meet new cultures of people. Archeology was in his soul, and although he would never take such frivolous trips through the stargate, he still daydreamed about doing so.

4. Convincing Teal'c to tell him about what had happened on the Odyssey. Daniel understood the possible ramifications if Teal'c ever told anyone about what had happened on the Odyssey during those fifty years, but he was still curious. Vala had often pestered him about how she was certain that she 'hooked up' with someone during those lost years, and she often insinuated that she thought it was him. The thought both terrified and delighted Daniel to no end. He could see that ending very badly. Namely, Vala driving him crazy and the two of them killing each other. However, he could also envision them being happy together. It had taken him a while to admit it to himself, but he did have serious feelings for Vala, he just didn't know how serious she was. Daniel really wished that Teal'c could tell him what had happened so he wouldn't have to wonder about it anymore. It was slowly driving him crazy.

5. Having sex with Vala in a public/semi public place. Daniel could no longer deny his attraction to Vala. Hell, he had been attracted to her from the very start. Her beautiful dark hair and gray eyes enticed him and she had the most amazing body he had ever seen, and he had definitely not kept his eyes closed when he undressed her on the Prometheus. It was more than that though. It was an attraction on a deeper level as well. She had long ago proven herself a worthy co-worker and friend; a person he could trust. He just wasn't sure that he could trust her with his heart yet. That did not stop him from fantasizing about her, a lot. He had spent many nights and some days too, thinking about just taking her on his desk, or in a bathroom against one of the stall doors, or in a storage closet, or on the briefing room table, or his personal favorite, off-world. The last one had actually almost happened once. SG-1 was on a diplomatic mission to P73-961 and they were staying at the village's local inn. Mitchell quickly split them off into the two rooms assigned to them. Of course he chose to make Daniel and Vala share a room, it seemed to be his personal mission to drive Daniel insane sometimes. Daniel and his teammates had participated in the village's feast and harvest celebration that night. He ended up having a little bit too much of the villagers' 'special juice' and had become very drunk. Once alone with Vala, Daniel attacked her, throwing her on the bed and kissing her forcefully. His mind was hazy with alcohol-induced lust, but he didn't care. He wanted her and was damn well going to get what he wanted for once. It wasn't like Vala was complaining anyway. The moment that they hit the bed, she had stripped her and Daniel naked and was doing a rather thorough exploration of Daniel's body with her tongue. It was about then that Daniel started to feel very ill. He got Vala off of him in the nick of time and promptly threw up over the side of the bed. Needless to say, neither of them was willing to continue where they had left off. The next day, neither Vala nor Daniel mentioned what had happened between them. That did not stop Daniel from his daydreams about Vala though. Maybe he would have her one day.

The End! A little bit of silliness that popped into my head. Reviews are loved. :)

-J