Authors note: Well, it's me! For those of you that DIDN'T read Maxwell, Duo Maxwell, here is a brief synopsis of what happened. Duo and Heero are secret agents (duh!) They beat a bad guy (Quatre) and saved the day, however, Trowa Quatre's partner in crime was only put in prison. (Did I mention Quatre got shot?) Well, that's pretty much it! Enjoy the story people, based on Bond films and whatever else I can come up with. (Told from Duo's point of view.) Once again poor Duo is forced into a dress, I probably killed this joke long ago, but it haunts me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, if I did I would be rich…as it is, I'm not rich, I don't own Bond either.
For the last time people, this is 1+2, if you don't like that, don't read, and try not to flame me.
"Duo, are you ready? Duo answer me!"
"Yaaaaarhg! Ooomph!"
"Duo?"
Sitting up I rubbed my backside from where I had landed on the floor after falling out of bed, blinking dazedly as I did so.
"DUO!!!"
Oh great, the tone in Heero's voice suggested he was becoming angry, and, knowing my luck, would be breaking down the door in a minute. "One minute Hee-chan, five seconds ok?"
I could practically see him standing there, face set in exasperation, lips probably twitching slightly, despite his annoyance, dark hair rumpled as usual…
I realised I had stopped in the middle of dressing and was standing in the middle of the room with a black t-shirt half on. I really have to stop spacing out like that.
"Duo…" Heero growled warningly from the other side of the door, "If you're not out on the count of three…"
"Alright I'm COMING!!" I grumbled, opening the door and promptly tripping over a stray trainer, landing, once again, in an undignified heap on the floor.
Looking up I saw Heero's mouth twitch as though he was trying to contain his laughter; he did a damn good job of it. Probably because he knew if he had laughed, I would have killed him.
"Where are we going anyway?"
He smirked slightly at my question, "to see your favourite person dear Duo."
"Noooooooo not…"
**********
"Ah, come in gentlemen." Said Relena, looking over the pile of paper that sat on her desk.
Glaring at Heero I muttered to him, "you wait till I get you home, your gonna wish you had never been born Yuy, you are sooooo dead."
He merely grinned at me before sitting down. "What is it you wanted Miss Relena?"
"We have a problem." She wasn't smiling, well, no change there.
"What is it?"
While all these pleasantries were going on I had become
bored, and, being my usual nosy self, was studying every aspect of Relena's
office. First there was the usual filing cabinet, filled with papers, fake
passports and identification tags, then a large wall covered with certificates
and diplomas, Relena was never what I would have called modest…
Yawning I closed my eyes, it wasn't fair, I am not used to getting up this early. I had just started thinking of the numerous different ways to make Heero suffer when we got home, when Relena's loud nasal voice cut through these imaginings. "And of course Maxwell will be in his usual disguise."
"NOOOOOOOO!!!" I screamed like a banshee, sitting bolt upright, my eyes now wide open, "NOT THAAAAAAT ANYTHING BUT THAT!!"
"Be quiet Maxwell!" My boss snapped, her voice tight with annoyance, "you know that if any of the enemies were to look for you and Yuy, they'd be looking for two males."
"Enemies? What enemies?"
"If you had been paying attention, you would know what enemies, Yuy will brief you when you arrive back at your apartment."
"Well why do I have to dress up like that? Why not Heero?"
"Because Maxwell, you have a feminine face."
"I do not!" I shrieked in protest, "my face isn't feminine!"
"Don't argue, now, go and find Wufei. Good luck agents 145 and 192."
"Thank you agent 1" we chorused together, man it felt like being back at school.
I had better explain now, before I go rambling off, why I am so distressed about this disguise. Ok you say, a disguise is just a disguise, how bad can it be? My answer? Bad.
For some reason, I think Relena hates me, because, whenever I am undercover I have to dress like…a girl, painfully pitiful isn't it? But you have NO IDEA what it's like to wear tights on a hot day, while trying to run and shoot some guy at the same time, it's awful, believe me.
Another thing that bugs me? Heero is always meant to be my husband or partner or brother or uncle, he never has to play a girl! I'm griping here aren't I? Oh well, I like griping; I suppose I'm rather good at it, all things considering.
"It's not fair!" I muttered, stalking next to Heero as we walked down to Wufei's workshop, "I am ALWAYS the female, can't someone else be? Just for once? Nooo of course not, I mean if I had a pound for…" An irate Heero swinging me around, slamming me into the wall and kissing me fiercely cut me off abruptly. "What…was that…for?" I asked breathlessly a couple of seconds later when we broke apart. He grinned down at me, eyes sparkling, "To shut you up."
"Oh well thaaaankyou Mr Perfect agent, mind you, I'm not complaining about your mode of shutting me up…" [A/N To find out how Duo and Heero became partners you will need to read Maxwell, Duo Maxwell.]
We continued down to Wufei's workshop without any more interruptions.
Wufei is the technological genius in our base, the guy who comes up with all our gadgets, my personal favourite was the bug buster 2000, however, it exploded in Venice, a long story.
As we entered Wufei's domain, he looked up from where he had been soldering two wires together. "Ah, Maxwell, Yuy, I'm glad you're here, I've been meaning to show you these new gadgets of mine, beauties if I do say so myself."
He led us round to a small table, complete with…I blinked, "Makeup accessories?"
"Yes, good aren't they?" If anything, Wufei managed to look prouder.
"Well they're very nice but I really don't see…" Began Heero, as puzzled as me.
He was interrupted by an irate Wufei, "These are not real cosmetics Yuy, the lipstick is a pull out, underneath is sleeping powder, you can slip in someone's drink, the comb, push the symbol on the side, and blades shoot out of the teeth, and finally, the mascara, twist the brush anti-clockwise once, and a small needle will shoot out, it is filled with just enough cyanide to kill a man."
I looked at Wufei sceptically, "And you are sure these will work?"
He looked highly insulted at that one, "Have I ever let you down Maxwell? Name me one time that I let you down!"
I grinned at him; Wufei is just too easy to wind up sometimes, "How long have you got my man? The list is endless."
"INJUUUUUSTIIIICE!!!"
"Uh oh, Heero, I think now is the time to leave quickly."
He looked at me, exasperation and humour warring in his blue eyes, "I think you are right Duo, now would be a good time."
**************
When we were back in the car I asked Heero about our new case. We had been on holiday for about three weeks now, after the Quatre shooting Heero incident, and I was itching to get started, well ok, apart from this whole disguise business, but lets not go there again.
I managed to learn from my stoic partner that, not only were we going to a foreign country (Russia to be precise) but it was to investigate the death of a Russian Prime minister called Rusnikov. Apparently the Russian secret service believed there was a motive behind the death, and had demanded two of our agents. Guess who?
Heero had been supplied with fake ID and a new disguise for me, I had managed to rip the old dress, it was an accident I swear!
All things taken in to consideration, I didn't feel this mission was fair, I mean, after all, it was nearly Christmas, Heero's and my self's first together, and I did not want to spend it in a foreign country. I declared as much.
"It won't be so bad." Heero claimed, "After all, Russia does have snow."
"Snow?" I perked up a bit, ever since I had been a little kid, I have loved snow, it's so beautiful.
*********
"Final call for flight 139 to Russia, all passengers on the 139 please go to gate 12, Thankyou."
"Hurry up!" Grumbled Heero, dragging our bags through the terminal at break neck speed, "We'll miss our flight."
"Oh what a shame." I muttered sarcastically under my breath, "We wouldn't want to miss the flight, would we now?" The reason for my bad mood is as follows. I was wearing a dress. Ooooh scary and horrific! I hear you say, but to me, it's a living nightmare. First of all there is the tights that go with the thing, hot, itchy, and above all, painful when twisted around your legs. Next there is my hair, now, my hair is usually done up in a braid, a useful, serviceable practical braid, now however, it trailed down my back, flopping over my shoulders and getting in the way as it is only being held up by two little…pink…BOWS!!!
And finally the dress, the horrible dress, white with blue stripes, flowed down to my ankles, tangling in my legs, and forcing me to sit in uncomfortable positions. OH MAN I really have to stop griping don't I?
Unfortunately, from my point of view, we caught the plane, although they were just closing the gate when we dashed through.
During the flight I became exceedingly bored, Heero was asleep, so there was no one to talk to, and the inane air stewardess didn't have two brain cells to rub together.
I must have fallen asleep at some point or another though, because the next thing I knew Heero was shaking my shoulder, urging me to wake up as we had landed. All around me, people were struggling to get their bags out of the overhead lockers and tripping over other people.
Luckily we managed to get out of the terminal without any incidents, I think if there had been one, I wouldn't have stood for anything; I seriously wasn't in the mood.
Outside however, my sleep-encrusted eyes encountered the joy of my childhood, SNOW!!! Beautiful, beautiful snow, swirling in great white flakes around me, dancing in the air like miniature angels…
I was rudely thrown out of this reverie by Heero calling me from somewhere behind. Turning I was about to scold him for interrupting my thought when I was hit on the side of the head by a small white ball.
"Argh!" I cried, spitting out a mouthful of snow, Ok Heero, this is war!! Bending down I swiftly scooped up a small amount of snow, packing it into a hard ball, and then lobbing it at Heero, who didn't have time to move. It landed with a small splat smack bang in the middle of his chest. "Whooo! Strike!" I yelled, running round in circles, before charging at Heero and knocking him over backwards into the snow. "I win!"
"Hey!" he protested, as I leant down to give him a kiss, "No fair, you cheated!"
"Really?" I murmured, "Well, cheat or no cheat, winner takes all…"
Just as I closed my eyes in anticipation of the kiss, a large hand tapped me on the shoulder.
"What?" I asked annoyed at being interrupted.
"Are you…" The man consulted a piece of paper, "Helen Maxwell?"
This was my alias for the mission, "Yes, is there a problem?"
To my complete astonishment the man whipped out a gun, "Follow me please," He indicated Heero as well, "You too, we've been expecting you, both of you…"
To Be Continued…
A/N Well, scrap this, or continue? Review to let me know.