TITLE: Girl Talk
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: Up to "Into the Woods"
PAIRING: W/T, B/A, B/R implied
SUMMARY: Buffy and Willow talk about stuff
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. I am poor. All the credit goes to Joss & Co.
FEEDBACK: Yes please! Tell me what you think. Spikes_Babe666@yahoo.de or simply review it.

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"We haven't done that in a long time," Buffy said and sat down on her bed beside Willow.
"Yeah, there was so much going on lately," the witch agreed and opened some potato chips, offering them to her best friend before she took some herself.
"Yeah," Buffy nodded and switched the TV on. "On which channel is the movie?"
Willow took a quick glance at the TV-guide. "The WB," she said.
"Oh no!" Buffy moaned, as the TV-screen remained black when she switched on the right channel.
"What?" Willow asked.
"Ugh, I guess it still doesn't work. We have some problems with cable, don't know why."
"Oh, well, we could watch a movie," the redhead suggested.
"I didn't rent any, and the ones we have here we have seen at least a hundred times."
"Hmm, maybe we could just listen to some music now and talk," Willow said and stuffed some more chips in her mouth.
"Why not? We haven't done that in a long time neither." The blonde got up from her bed and walked to her stereo.
"Anything particular?"
"No, maybe just the radio," Willow replied and Buffy returned to the bed after turning on her favourite radio station.
"What should we talk about?" Buffy asked, laying down on her back and gazing to the ceiling while her right hand searched the chips bag.
"I don't know," Willow shrugged. "A year ago or so we would talk about boys, but things changed now."
Buffy chuckled briefly. "Well, we can talk about relationships then, although I don't seem to be an expert at the happy ones."
"Aw, don't be sad about Riley anymore, Buffy"
"No, you're right, no depressions tonight," Buffy agreed.
"We never talk about that kinda stuff anymore," Willow said.
"What do you mean?
"Well, you never ask me anything about me and Tara. It's almost as if you don't wanna know anything about it."
"Don't say that, Will. It's just I don't know what to ask you. I mean, if you had a boyfriend, I could ask you how he is and we could talk about the stuff you do, but..."
Willow interrupted her: "Just because I have a girlfriend and not a boyfriend doesn't mean that there isn't anything to tell."
"Well, I don't know much about that," Buffy confessed.
"Then ask me something. We are best friends, we should share everything. Just ask me what interests you."
Buffy pondered for a second. "Hmm, I don't know."
"Just ask what you wanna know."
Buffy rolled herself around until she was lying on her belly, resting her chin on her hand.
"So how, I mean what.... how do you have...sex?"
Willow gave her a puzzled look but then replied: "Oh c'mon Buffy, you can imagine that, can't you?"
"Um, well..." Buffy had never really tried to think of anything else but having sex with a guy.
"We can do everything a guy can do with you without using his dick."
"Willow! I never heard you saying..." Buffy hesitated for a moment, "dick."
Willow rolled her eyes, a little annoyed that it was proven once more that nobody thought of her more than the innocent, shy, and reserved nerd she was in school. "Well, it's not that I've never seen one, so why shouldn't I take it in my mouth?"
Buffy looked at her best friend surprised and with eyes wide open. "Willow! I never knew you were so...well, frank."
"What? Oh.... OH!" Willow blushed in a deep crimson. "I meant the word."
Buffy just chuckled briefly and then returned to the subject. "So what's wrong with them that you had to change your sexual preferences?"
"Well, nothing is wrong with them," the redhead replied, "except that they are wrinkly and the foreskin looks funny, and the taste is bad, too."
"Willow!"
"What? We are friends and we can talk about that kinda stuff. It's not that you are planning to join a convent or something. Are you planning to join a convent?"
"No, I'm not. I thought about it, though." Buffy frowned a little.
"Really? Why is that?" Now Willow was the one who was surprised by her best friend's answer.
"I don't know. It was after the whole thing with Riley. I just felt giving up on men completely would maybe be the best. I won't ever find a guy who can cope with me being the Slayer and give me what I need. And besides that, I'm starting to think that I lost the ability to love at all." Buffy sighed deeply and let her gaze travel to her feet.
"Don't say that, Buffy!" Willow said worried, "You have so much love to give, to your mom, your sister, and your friends. Maybe you just need a break from guys and wait a little until you find the right one, that's all." She smiled at Buffy to give her a little support. Willow didn't like seeing her best friend in such a bad mood, and she didn't like when Buffy gave up on herself.
"Yeah, maybe you're right," Buffy agreed, but for Willow it didn't sound very convincing. "So tell me, what's it like with Tara?" Buffy asked then. "I really wanna hear something about a happy relationship now. And I don't mean the ... um..." Buffy was looking for a not so obvious word to describe sexual practises, " the technical stuff. What do you feel for her?"
"Oh, that's so hard to say," Willow answered. "My feelings for Tara are so deep and strong that I find it difficult to describe them. She just means the world for me. When I'm lying in her arms I can forget everything around the Hellmouth, demons, all the vampires and us. It's like nothing can ever harm us as long as we are together." The redhead's eyes got shiny and big when she was talking about her girlfriend and Buffy could see the love in them.
"And nothing else seems important when I'm with her. When we make love it's so intense and beautiful that I wanna cry of joy. It's magic. And I love her more than anything else on this planet. I feel that I couldn't live without her." Willow let out a happy sigh. It felt good to talk about Tara with Buffy. She was happy that she could share her feelings with her finally.
"You may say now someone always thinks that about their current partner, and I also felt something like that with Oz. I mean I loved him and all. I was happy, but with Tara it's so much different. It's as if we were one being, and when she isn't near me I feel like one part of me is missing."
"You said one part of you was gone after Oz left, too," Buffy interrupted her as she remembered that night.
Willow shook her head. "Yeah, but it was different. When we weren't together for an evening or even a few days I was okay. Of course I missed him but with Tara it's just... different. When she is around I feel so save and happy. It is as if I got all my energy from her presence, and when she isn't near me I feel different, not whole. I wish I could hug and kiss and touch her all the time. I wanna be as close as possible to her, although I think two people can't get much closer than we are. And I also want to make her happy, more than being happy myself. I just really love her with all my heart, body and soul."
Buffy sighed faintly, an admiring smile curling on her lips. "I'm jealous."
"About me and Tara?"
"Yes, your love seems to be so perfect, so pure and strong. I wish I had that." Buffy looked down at her hands.
"You will find that, Buffy. Don't lose hope," Willow said assuring and put her arm on her best friend's shoulder.
"I'm starting to think that Riley was right. I couldn't give him what he needed and I couldn't give him what you are giving Tara. I never felt that close to him." Buffy's voice was low and sad.
"Then he just wasn't the right guy for you. What about Angel? I mean I don't wanna open old wounds, but with him you felt differently, didn't you?" Willow asked, trying to find something to convince her best friend that she hadn't lost the ability to love.
Buffy shook her head slightly. "I don't know. I mean I loved Angel more than anything. I loved him so much that it hurt, but I was still so young, he was my first big love. I would have done anything for him and he left me. I am not angry with him, but I think...no," she shook her head a little stronger this time, also to fight back the tears that were about to shoot into her eyes.
"Yes it is his fault," Willow said, reading Buffy's thoughts.
"No, it's not, how can you blame him, he didn't have a chance." After all this time Buffy still couldn't let anybody say a bad word about Angel.
"I'm not saying he is a jerk because he left you and that he hurt you without thinking about your feelings," Willow explained, "but this was terrible experience for you, your one and only true love leaving you after all you went through with him. And maybe it is one of the reasons why you have the feeling that you lost the ability to love, to give love. Your sub-consciousness knows that you might be hurt like this again so you don't want to get involved to deeply."
"Wow, you really paid attention in Professor Walsh's lessons, didn't you?"
"Yeah, she knew a lot about psychology, although she was a psycho bitch herself," Willow said indifferently.
"Okay, where is Willow and what have you done to her?" Buffy asked joking.
Willow smirked and rolled her eyes innocently.
But then made a more serious face. "Buffy, please promise me you won't lose hope in that. One day you will find someone to be happy with, just trust in your luck."
"Ugh, as if I ever had it," she answered.
"Don't say that. You had a lot of luck. Remember when the Master killed you? And you didn't die. Or when you had lost your powers and killed this nasty vamp with that holy water trick."
"I may be a lucky slayer, but not a lucky girl. My first big love turned into a monster and then left me, Parker ditched me after our first night and Riley couldn't deal with the fact that he loved me more than I loved him." Buffy sighed again and ate some more chips. She thought chocolate would have been a wiser choice for this evening because it always made her happy.
"Okay, you had some bad luck there, but you are only twenty. You still have a lot of time to be happy," Willow tried desperately to give Buffy some hope.
"But that exactly is the problem, Will. I don't know if I have a lot of time. I am the Slayer, it might be possible that I don't live to see my next birthday, or even the next week."
Willow frowned sadly. She was very concerned about her best friend's state of mind.
"You're not gonna die, Buffy. You will be the oldest Slayer who ever lived and you will have a long and happy life until you die in your bed, surrounded by your grandchildren and great-grandchildren." Willow made it sound almost like a prophecy, and Buffy's smile returned to her face.
"You are right, I shouldn't worry so much," Buffy finally said. "Hey, we wanted to have fun tonight, right? We should talk about some cheerier stuff."
Willow grinned happily and nodded.
"Cheery stuff, okay, that could be either music, movies, or just some gossip about other girls."
"Let's gossip," Buffy suggested.
"Okay, well, have you heard about Sara Perkins?" Willow asked. Sara Perkins was a girl they both knew from college. She was one of those young women who always followed the latest trends and spent their lives thinking about their looks.
"No, what happened?" Buffy asked.
"She had a cosmetic surgery," Willow replied.
"And what did she change?"
"Guess!" Willow sat up straight and looked down to her breasts.
"No way? They are fake?"
"Yep, knew they couldn't be real. Angela told me last week."
Both girls started to laugh.
"But Marc dumped her a few weeks ago. He said he couldn't stand her being so superficial," Willow told Buffy.
"See, that's what you get for only working on your looks and not your personality."
"I love girl talk," Willow said and laughed again.
"Yeah, me too!"


~The End~