Overall: This is a series entitled 'Hidden Moments,' because these are (I believe) some moments that we didn't get to see from the episodes. As such, it won't be in any chronological order, I just write them as the ideas come:) I hope you enjoy:)
Author's
Note: This piece was inspired by the scene where Sarah
wakes and hugs Daniel at the end of "Chimera." Sarah said
herself that they could've ended it better, so maybe they have a
chance to do that…or continue what they started. Written for and archived in the LJ community "fanfic50". Prompt #18: Share.
Spoilers: S7, Chimera.
Sarah Gardner knew the moment she woke up, with her body aching, that it wasn't a dream, and that she was really trapped inside her own body. Her consciousness was somehow still intact, and it was unfortunate that her memories were still there too. It had been 72 hours since she had been back and already was she bombarded with questions, not only her own, but others, the doctors, medical and psychological. All she really wanted was some rest before she would allow herself the impending meltdown. Ironic as it may be that she had been dormant and resting in Osiris, she never got the peace her body needed. Sarah was having a restless night trying to sleep, as people kept her in a private room protected with guards just outside. She sat up with the jumbled thoughts in her mind and banged on her 'cell' door. Although Osiris may have lived in her and through her, it never compromised her core values, and despite the anger she felt towards the Goa'uld, she would never be able to exact revenge. Yet, it seemed she could never return to the way she was.
The guard turned around and she mouthed that she needed to see someone. They replied with a shrug and proceeded to open the door. The SGC threat assessment had stated that Sarah Gardner, though extracted successfully from the symbiote (or the other way around), was still vulnerable and needed to be guarded at all times. The guards spoke very little as they lead her to the room she had been visiting on a regular basis since her return. When they reached Daniel's office/lab, they positioned themselves at the open blast door while she ventured inside. Daniel had been staying on base ever since the dreams of translating the Ancient tablet had revealed something, but intuitively knowing how much Sarah needed him. They might have ended their romantic relationship badly, but they still cared for each other, and those feelings were only recently realized when the dreams started. Perhaps Sarah was implicitly using Osiris to get back to Daniel. It was more likely that Osiris was using this to get to Daniel as well, but everything turned out well, all things considered.
Sarah had found staying in Daniel's lab and watching him work comforting for some reason. They hadn't spoken much, merely exchanged glances that only both understood. She would never admit it, but whenever they were escorted to lunch, she would take his hand in hers for reassurance, and squeeze it every time a flashback or haunting feeling enveloped her. He was her ground and clarity; he pulled her back to reality. There was an instinctual bond between the two; they might as well have been dating. No one said anything, because everyone knew that if Daniel cared, they should too.
On this particular night, Sarah was having more terrible nightmares than normal, and she dreaded going back to sleep without some security. She thought drifting to sleep among Daniel's clutter and scratchetty-scribble of his pen would let her rest, but she needed more tonight, she needed human touch. Daniel looked up from his work, sheepishly, as he had been so concentrated that he tuned all sound out. He had felt someone's presence though and knew that it was one of Sarah's nightly visits.
"I'm sorry to keep bothering you like this, but…"
Daniel gave her a tired smile and looked into her eyes with sincerity. "You know I don't mind. I wasn't doing anything important," he said, waving his arm over his messy desk.
She gave him a nod. "Well, actually, I was hoping I could help. You see, I've been having these flashbacks to when I was in your dreams, and you did translate the tablet fully…I mean, I could try and translate your current trouble spots."
"Uh," Daniel responded surprised, "if that helps you. I don't know if it's the best idea reliving it so soon..." He said while guiding her to the tablet and giving her a stool to sit on.
She smiled her thanks, weary though it betrayed.
"To be honest, the things he's done just won't go away. It's like those bad moments in your life that are seared into your brain, and like a horrid nightmare, it replays and leaves you with a dreaded feeling like you can't believe you just did that…"
"Yeah. I've had plenty of those, but you think just being reminded head on will help?"
"Well, what little I can remember from my psychoanalysis, the doctors tell me it's better if I make new memories to imprint over the bad ones. Change associations from bad to good. If being with you and the memories of this tablet were once bad memories, I can make a happy moment with you and the tablet; it should stamp out the old. That's not saying the bad won't resurface, but at least I'll have a catalog of good memories over the bad." She yawned.
"How about we stall this walk down memory lane and get some sleep instead? You're welcome to my cot in the corner if you want to stay, but it might be best if you sleep in a real bed." Daniel offered.
"Actually, this is going to sound weird, but would you mind, um, if you slept with me? Erm, beside me?" Sarah asked, a blush appearing, the only color Daniel's seen in her face in awhile.
"It's only for reassurance..." Sarah said as she cleared her throat.
Daniel gave an equally uncomfortable but relenting smile. "I understand."
Sarah settled in closest to the wall, as Daniel settled in and spooned her from behind. Sarah kept his hand entangled with hers and wrapped him to her like a blanket, as if her life depended on it. She fell asleep in a matter of minutes, her slow and steady breathing giving her away. Daniel was not entirely awake as it was and drifted just as quickly to sleep with the scent of Sarah's hair, a mixture of some exotic fruit and vanilla.
A light knock on one of Daniel's cabinets woke Sarah. "Ms. Gardner, we need to escort you to Dr. McKensie's."
After she disentangled herself from Daniel, she whispered to the guards that she would just be one moment as she dashed to the desk in search for a pen and paper. It was surprisingly hard to find a piece of paper, because everything was buried under his current research. She found it at last and wrote a simple note, i "Thank you so much, Daniel. I had to go to a session, but I'll see you at lunch:) –Sarah-." /i
Daniel, normally a light sleeper, slept through this because he hadn't been sleeping much himself. She took one last look at the peaceful, wonderful, disheveled head of Daniel and left with the guards.
Daniel woke with a sudden jerk, and found his arms cold. Wondering if the occupant in his arms the night before was okay, he was about to call the doctor, when he found the note placed neatly on the side of the tablet, knowing that he wouldn't have wanted paper on the actual artifact. He couldn't help grinning. For a minute, he was afraid of losing her again, even if she was just somewhere else on base. He wasn't sure how he felt anymore, he had lost so many people he loved to the Goa'uld and now he had someone back, Sarah, his first real relationship that he wrecked over his job. He couldn't guarantee it wouldn't happen again, but at least Sarah would have a slight idea of what his job entailed and perhaps he could finally share his live with someone.
He went back to work after getting a cup of coffee. A few hours later, Sarah came back.
"Hey, how was your session?" Daniel asked.
Sarah looked much better after a good night's sleep and a seemingly helpful session. "It was good. How's the translation going?"
"Still going." Daniel said with a weary smile.
After a pause, Sarah sat in the stool next to Daniel and said, "Thank you, Daniel."
"Huh?" Daniel looked up, "Um, I didn't do anything." Daniel said humbly.
"You've done more than you know." She said softly. "I'm going to go grab some lunch, join me?"
"Sure."
After lunch, they went their separate ways. Sarah had a meeting with someone else while Daniel decided that he should really get back to his research. He didn't see her that night, which he took as a good sign, but it left him thinking about the night before and wondering if they both wanted something more.
The next night, she showed up unexpectedly, and when Daniel looked up from his work, he didn't see a broken down woman, but a renewed one.
"Good evening, Daniel. May I come in?"
"Of course."
"As you can probably tell, I feel a lot better." Sarah stated with a bright smile.
"Yeah, you look great. How've you been in the day that I haven't seen you?" he joked a little.
"Daniel, I wanted to ask you for a favor." Daniel nodded as a sign for her to elaborate. "Ever since the extraction and the therapy and such, I keep thinking 'omygosh, what am I going to do after his?' As you know, I couldn't sleep by myself and I only slept well with you in the room…" she blushed and glanced down at the tablet she was unknowingly tapping. "I was wondering if you didn't mind, with permission of course, if I moved in with you?"
Daniel looked at her with a sidelong glance and after a moment, he slowly wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug.
"Out of everyone I've ever known, Daniel, you were the one who was there and I knew you were the only person trying to get me out. I know, sometimes, it's still hard because you are a constant reminder of what I've been through, but on the other hand you were also the person that gave me hope. I felt freest when Osiris was in your dreams, I could relive my relationship with you, and even though part of him was using that part of me to get to you, part of it was genuine. I never understood why Osiris never hurt me, but I felt sort of protected in a strange dominated way. I think I reminded him of Isis, his queen…"
When she fell quite and still in Daniel's arms, he spoke.
"Sarah, I was happy in those dreams too. I mean, I was frustrated and tired and confused as hell, but I was happy. But, I had the chance to change who I was and not make the same mistakes with you…I did it again, and when you didn't storm out of that room like you had in reality, I was so happy. I was suspicious, but happy. As for everything else, I'm sure that I'm as emotionally confused as you are. You had to share a body, let alone a mind, with a monster; that's gotta mess with your sense of self. And now, you want to share your life with me? With someone who might be as equally jumbled up in the head as you? I would do anything to help you, but will this help?"
"I understand you're concerned, but I feel safest with you. And you are the only person who will remotely understand what I've been through. I'm trying not to confuse that comfort with anything else, but if we tried, perhaps there could be something…"
They held each other for another moment.
"Daniel?"
"Hmm?"
"Perhaps with time, I could even help you with some of your work, translating. To be honest, from what knowledge Osiris indulged me, I was quite fascinated. I've truly missed archaeology."
Daniel laughed. "And here I was thinking you only wanted to be with me."
"Of course," she replied with a hint of sarcasm and smiled into his shirt.
One month later- Sarah was rummaging through her purse for the apartment key while juggling a few bags of groceries.
The door opened just as she found the key and looked up.
It was Daniel in only his boxers. Sarah giggled, something she never did until she met this man, and kissed him lightly. "How did you know it was me?" Sarah asked as he helped her bring in the groceries.
"You left an hour ago. I was expecting you and I heard you rummaging. You really need a smaller purse." He joked.
Daniel looked happier, healthier. So did Sarah.
They both had approached General Hammond about their situation 3 weeks ago, and with the psychologist's approval, Daniel and Sarah moved in together. Of course, Sarah was still dealing with the aftermath of Osiris, and still had flashbacks every now and again, but Daniel would be there. Sarah was trapped inside her body, yet sharing the experiences of Osiris allowed her a moment of freedom. Now, she was sharing a new life with Daniel, an experience with its own kind of freedom.
