The Choice:
A/N: Alright so this is my first attempt at a Fan Fic story. It is of course a Damon and Elena combination, a couple I believe really should be together*chuckles* It takes place after the truth is revealed about Damon's feelings for Elena. So please, read, review and HOPEFULLY you will enjoy it.
Chapter One
Elena sat on her bed, her journal open to a blank page and her pen poised above it ready to write down everything she was feeling, everything she had experienced in her day and yet, right at this moment, she couldn't make her hand move. She couldn't write down the feelings she had, she couldn't put into words how she felt about everything that had happened to her today and there was so much that happened today that she felt was extremely important, so much that had to be captured and put into words so that when she read back one day she would know it was real, that she would know what had happened so far had not been some really long and often twisted dream. She let out a sigh and shook her head. She shouldn't be thinking so hard about the feelings she had, she should just relax and let go of her thoughts and write whatever came to her first. Elena closed her eyes for a moment and took in a few deep, slow breaths before she began to write.
Dear Diary
My life has been filled with rather extraordinary things; things that I did not even believe existed. My boyfriend, Stefan, and his brother Damon are vampires and since being drawn into their world things have been completely crazy. Not to mention I happen to be a splitting image of a woman named Katherine, a woman who turned them into vampires, a woman they both loved and a woman who Damon has been searching for only to discover she is alive and always has been and has not contacted him at all. Along with this discovery comes the discovery that I was adopted by the people I called my parents. I learned my mother's name was Isobel and I was led to believe that she was dead, that a vampire had killed her…that Damon had been the one to kill her.
Elena sighed as she looked down at these words and then she chewed on the back of her pen for a moment, letting the words sink in once again, knowing it had all been a lie.
And then if that wasn't enough emotional turmoil to go through I discover that my birth mother hasn't even been dead. She's alive and a vampire. She had asked Damon to turn her. She had always wanted to be a vampire and one that apparently wanted nothing to do with her daughter. I met with her today and she was cold and cruel, completely heartless and it ripped at my heart. She was a complete disappointment and yet I still find myself wondering how she was when she was human. She couldn't have been this cold when she still had a beating heart. She threatened the lives of those I care about in order to gain what she wanted and I gave it to her because I wanted her out of my life. I didn't want to know her; I wanted her to be far away from me so that she couldn't etch herself any further into my memories. Two things came from the meeting with her. One, was that in a way I'm thankful I met her because it makes me realize that I am glad I was adopted, my memories of the woman I called my mother for so long burn brighter now and it is those memories that make it easier to forget the cold, heartless Isobel. The second thing that came from it all was…
Elena froze at this point. She didn't know if she could put this into words. She was afraid to because if she did that meant that it was true, that made the truth real and it was something she didn't really want to have to think about. She looked out the window with a frown on her face and bit her bottom lip as she contemplated whether or not to put it down. She sighed and shook her head after a few minutes before continuing.
…was the fact that Damon Salvatore, the arrogant, sarcastic, uncaring brother of Stefan's…is in love with me according to Isobel. Her words shocked me when she said them and even as I think of them now they still shock me. When she said them I looked at him, a frown on his face, his eyes on me and even though I could see he was trying to not show any form of emotions at all his eyes seemed to confirm what she had said. This was history repeating itself again. This was the love triangle from over one hundred years ago being put into motion again. But it didn't have to be that way. I was not going to be like Katherine. I would make the choice and my choice is Stefan. I love Stefan. Sure Damon has been there for me when Stefan was going through a rough time dealing with his cravings for human blood, a craving I began.
She sighed again as she remembered what he had gone through but shook the thoughts from her mind.
Damon had even managed to show me that he had some goodness in him, although I did have to dig through all the sarcasm and cocky attitude to find it but I knew it was in there. He tried to help me not think about Stefan in that position so much, he tried to take my mind off it and he managed to help me with that. I know Damon tries to make people think he doesn't care about anything or anyone but himself, but he can't fool me because lately he has shown me that he does. And it will be nice to know that when Stefan is not around or if I am ever in trouble and Stefan can not be there that Damon would care enough to be there for me. But my heart is Stefan's and I have to get all this cleared up with Damon. I will not be like Katherine. Tomorrow I will tell Damon how I feel and once that is over things can go back to the way they were.
Elena closed her journal and held it against her chest. She set the pen down on the bed side table and then with a sigh she put her journal beneath her pillow before lying down and pulling the covers over her. She stared out the window while her mind processed all of what she had written down and then the room went completely dark as she drifted off to sleep.
Damon grabbed his jacket and put it on before downing the last bit of his Scotch. He needed to get out of the house. He just had the whole speech from Stefan about history not repeating itself and he really couldn't stand being cooped up here while his brother was even more broody and serious than before and it was all thanks to Isobel. Damon really wished he could have ripped her throat out for saying that. She was clearly trying to cause trouble.
Damon walked out of the house, slamming the door as he left. He put his hands in the pockets of his jacket and began to walk down the street. Isobel's words rang through his ears still and he could still see the look on Elena's face. She was shocked and her eyes gazed into his with a burning desire to know if what she had said was true. He tried to hide it but he knew that he was failing hopelessly at it. The words had taken him by surprise too because he hadn't thought that Isobel had picked up on that. It didn't give him much time to regain his composure and act as though she was lying. Elena had seen it was true before he had time to regain that composure and by then it was too late. He knew that soon she was going to come knocking at the door and demand to know the truth.
Damon shook his head, a frown on his face as he walked along the dark, quiet street. He didn't want to have to face that. He just wanted Elena to forget what Isobel had said, she just wanted her to not bring it up and not ask the questions he knew she would. Damon could move on with things if they just stayed like this. He could forget all about it, shut down and move on with his existence. But he knew it wasn't going to be like that. He knew she was going to not just forget about this because that wasn't who Elena was. When she wanted to know something she would be annoyingly persistent about it until she got it. Damon rolled his eyes as he thought about that and a small smile appeared on his face. But it faded away when his mind returned to Elena and her wanting the answers to the question he didn't want her to ask. If she asked him that it would go beyond the point of him being able to simply forget it. Damon really didn't want to go on another 'drown my sorrows in alcohol and blood' journey. He had just gotten over the one that was brought on by the truth of Katherine being alive and not wanting to have anything to do with him. That one he knew he was able to survive…but something deep down told him that this time, the pain he would feel would be far worse than what he went through over Katherine. This pain may actually be the death of him.
Damon sighed and looked around the neighbourhood.
'I hate emotions,' he mumbled to himself as he looked up to Elena's house.
He had not wanted to be near her and yet here he was, standing outside her damned house and really wanting to go and see her, to wake her up and hold her close and kiss her and tell her he loves her, to tell her that he doesn't want to lose her. He shakes his head clear of those thoughts. He can't and won't do that. He said to Stefan that history would not repeat itself and he was going to make sure of that. But the temptation was just too delicious not to slip into the room and watch her. He looked around once more and then slipped up to her window, opening it silently before slipping in. Her scent filled the room and he closed his eyes as it wrapped around him. He listened to the sound of her steady breathing and the beating of her heart; a heart he would never have. He sighed and opened his eyes before making his way over to the bed. His eyes trailed over her sleeping form, taking in her features. The fact that she looked just like Katherine still took him by surprise sometimes and yet she was nothing like Katherine. He pulled a chair over to the bed and sat down on it. He was planning on staying for as long as he could. He would allow himself this time to simply let himself feel what he felt for her; but as soon as it came time to leave it would be buried deep down and forgotten…well eventually forgotten.
Elena rolled over in her sleep, facing him and Damon tilted his head to the side as he looked her over once again. Before he even knew what he was doing, Damon brushed her cheek softly with the back of his hand. He ran it down over her cheek and along her jaw line before pulling it back. A small smile appeared on her lips which seemed to make his undead heart jump in his chest. He frowned and sat back in the chair. That smile wasn't for Damon, it was a smile meant for Stefan because that's obviously who she was dreaming of.
'This really was such a bad idea,' he whispered to himself.
Elena rolled over again, her back to him and something caught his eye beneath her pillow. He frowned and leaned closer to remove it; it was a book and as he opened it he realized it was not just any book but rather her journal. His usual smirk appeared once more as he flipped through the pages, reading her thoughts. His heart would jump again at certain entries about him, about how Elena was so sure there was some goodness in him and in those entries he could tell she obviously cared about him and then his eyes scanned over her last entry and even though it shouldn't have hurt it did. He knew she would choose Stefan, she was already with him. Reading her words would just make it easier to return to being the usual cold, uncaring person he had always been. He placed the journal back on under her pillow and stood up. He turned to leave but something stopped him, a desire to do one simple thing before he left her to her choice. He turned back to her again and she was lying on her back. He leaned over her and brushed a stray strand of her dark hair away from her face. He leaned closer and swallowed before placing a feather light kiss on her lips. She moaned softly in her sleep and as much as he wanted to believe that that was for him he knew it wasn't. It seemed to take him forever to pull away from her but he did. He looked at her one final time and then slipped out of the window and headed back to the boarding house, ready to clear out the house of all the alcohol there was available to him.
Chapter Two
Elena woke the next morning with a smile on her face due to the most beautiful dream she had about Stefan. She stretched beneath the covers before sitting up and yawning. She looked around the room. Something felt oddly different about it and she couldn't think what it was. She shrugged and then grabbed her journal from under her pillow and placed it back into its hiding place. She climbed out of bed and walked into the bathroom to get ready for the day. Once she had showered and brushed her teeth, she slipped into a pair of jeans and a long sleeve top. She slipped on her shoes and then brushed out her hair. She picked up her bag and then she remembered her plan for today and suddenly felt tense. She had said she would choose today to confront Damon. She tried to shake the tension off but it had knotted itself in her stomach. She headed off nonetheless to the boarding house.
She arrived to hear the muffled sounds of music coming from within. She frowned slightly and made her way to the door. She knocked on it and waited for someone to answer. As the door opened music came blaring out at her before it was shut out again. Stefan stood in front of her, smiling her favourite smile.
'Hey Stefan,' she said and reached up to kiss him softly, wrapping her arms around his neck. 'What's going on in there?' she asked.
Stefan looked back at the closed door and then at her. 'Damon.'
Elena frowned. The last time she had heard about blaring music being played through the house was when Damon was going through the rough time of dealing with the fact that Katherine obviously didn't love him. It had really broken Elena's heart to see him like that.
'I need to talk to him about what Isobel said.'
'I don't think now is such a good time. He's rather…intoxicated.'
Elena frowned and shook her head. 'Well I don't care. I told myself I would do this today and that is what I am going to do.'
She stepped away from Stefan and headed to the door. She placed her hand on the handle and then looked back at Stefan.
'I'll…give you two some time to sort this out.' He replied, as if he had heard her thoughts. He did not look too happy about the idea but he respected her wished and left.
Elena sighed and then opened the door and stepped into the house, the blaring music making her cringe slightly, along with the smell of alcohol. She walked slowly down the passage and towards the parlour. Damon was sitting down in one of the arm chairs, a bottle of Whiskey in his hand and his eyes glued to the flames dancing in the fireplace. He had on his usual attire of jeans and a black shirt which he seemed to have just decided to leave unbuttoned for today and the site of his exposed chest making Elena blush slightly when she realized she had been staring.
Damon had heard her come in and even over this music he could hear the sound of the heart he could not have. His eyes darted in her direction and he smirked when he noticed her staring at his chest. He looked back at the fireplace and sighed.
'You know it's really rude to stand and stare at someone Elena,' he said over the music.
Elena huffed and went over to the stereo and turned it off.
'Damon, can we talk please?'
Damon stood up from the chair, placing the bottle to his lips as he took a drink of the whiskey again. He walked over to Elena, his intense ice-blue eyes gazing at hers and that's when she noticed the flicker of pain behind the coldness in them. A pain he was obviously trying to drown away in his alcohol.
'What, pray tell does the dear Miss Elena Gilbert want to talk about?' he said to her as he set the whiskey bottle down on the table before closing the distance between them, his body inches from hers, making Elena slightly uncomfortable. She cleared her throat and looked away from him for a few moments before returning her eyes to his.
'We need to talk about what Isobel said last night.'
Damon rolled his eyes and walked past her, turning the stereo back on.
'There's nothing to talk about. She was lying,' he whispered into her ear as he walked past her again, grabbing the bottle of whiskey.
Elena frowned and turned the stereo off again.
'Really, it was a lie?'
Damon groaned and looked at her, a frown on his face. 'Please don't be like Buzz Kill Bob and always come here to ruin my mood.' He replied moving back towards the stereo, avoiding Elena's question.
As he walked past her again Elena grabbed his arm. He stopped and looked down at it before looking at her, one of his eyebrows lifted.
'You know grabbing a vampire like that is really dangerous.'
'You won't hurt me Damon so please answer my question. Was it a lie?'
He sighed and shook his head. 'Elena…read my lips…it…was…a…lie.' He said each word slowly and each one of them cut into him. He needed her to leave.
Elena looked into his eyes and shook her head slowly. It made sense in a way to her that Isobel would possibly lie about that. She knows what damage it caused before when it was Katherine and the brother's…perhaps she just wanted to be the cause of yet another one hundred and forty five years of hate between the two brothers. It sounded like something Isobel would do…to Elena at least. She sighed and let go of Damon's arm; something was still nagging at her though. She knew he was lying but did she really want to bring that up. He wanted to deny it and she didn't really want to keep on about it. She could walk out now and be with Stefan but something was keeping her here.
'You're lying,' she whispered just as the music started blaring once more.
Damon turned to her.
'Sorry, you'll have to speak louder than that darling!' he yelled over the music before walking back into the parlour and standing by the fireplace, his head bobbing to the music.
'You're lying to me Damon!' she yelled over the music.
He didn't respond. He didn't stop moving and he didn't even look at her. He just knocked back the whiskey once more and tried his best to block out her presence hoping that maybe she would just go away and leave it at that. He could hear her heart beat picking up and he knew she was getting angry at him. The music went off again and she stormed over to him, standing right in front of him, her arms folded across her chest.
'Tell me the truth Damon!' she snapped at him.
'Well someone's a little angry now aren't they?' Damon set the bottle down on the mantle above the fireplace and stared into Elena's eyes. 'Haven't you ever heard that some things are best left unspoken and buried?'
He turned away from her and began walking towards the stairs.
Elena breathed heavily and felt tears well up in her eyes, for some reason she just didn't know. She stormed off after Damon and pushed him with as much force as she could. He faltered in his step and his back landed against the side of the stair case. He glared at Elena his own chest rising and falling at her sudden attack on him.
'Tell me, please!' she yelled at him, the tears now rolling down her cheeks.
Damon's anger was washed away when he saw the pain in her eyes. All she wanted was the truth and he was being his usual self and thinking of himself only.
'Fine, you want the truth,' he grabbed her and pushed her up against the wall, blocking any escape by placing his hands on either side of her. His eyes bored into hers. He knew he shouldn't be yelling but he knew telling her the truth was going to just rip open old wounds that had just begun to heal. 'Well here's the truth…Yes I am in love with you Elena. Yes, Isobel was telling the truth. Are you happy now? Does this satisfy your thirst for wanting to know the truth?' he growled at her.
Elena stared at him in shock and then the pain he had been trying to keep locked away came flooding back into his eyes. She didn't know what to say to him.
He sighed and looked down, feeling those old wounds rip wide open, feeling his heart exposed once again and he knew full well that she was going to just turn away from him. He looked back up at her, his face serious and hard.
'Now that your mind is at ease Elena, you can run back to Saint Stefan and you two can live happily ever after,' he said, rolling his eyes as he stepped away from Elena.
'Damon-'
He held up his hand. 'Hey, don't worry about the bad brother. He won't bother you. Things will go back to the way they always were.'
He turned away from her and then felt her hand on his arm once more. It was soft and gentle.
'Damon, please just-'she began in a whisper.
He looked over his shoulder but his eyes remained on the ground. He didn't want to look at her because he felt a lump in his throat and knew he was close to breaking down.
'Elena, please…I know you've made your choice.' He whispered back to her.
Elena couldn't stand seeing Damon in so much pain. All she wanted to do was pull him close and tell him everything was going to be fine. She frowned at these sudden feelings. Why did she suddenly care so much? She had heard what she wanted to hear and now it should have just been simple. She should have just thanked him and walked out but now…she couldn't leave his side. She didn't want to leave his side. Before she could stop herself the words came tumbling out.
'Damon, I love you. I mean…I am in love with you,' she whispered to him.
The words shocked her. She had decided on Stefan but that's not really what she had wanted, what he heart had wanted.
Damon turned around and looked down at her, his eyes wide with shock at her words.
'What?'
'Damon I am in love with you,' she whispered again, feeling her face flush at the realization of her true feelings.
Damon couldn't believe he was hearing this and a part of him wanted to pull her close and kiss her. But the other part warned him not to. This was becoming a Katherine situation all over again. She loved him, she was in love with Damon and yet in her diary she had said she loved Stefan. He sighed and shook his head.
'I can't…I can't do this again Elena.'
Elena realized then that right at this moment it all looked like history was going to repeat itself for the brothers. Elena refused to have it that way and yet here it was happening all over again. Sobs escaped her as she began to cry, her head hanging as the tears ran down her cheeks. Damon lifted her face up gently and looked at her.
'Why are you crying?'
'I'm…just like her.' She whispered.
Damon pulled Elena into his arms and held her close, running his fingers through her hair.
'You're not like Katherine, you're better than she is Elena.'
Elena buried her face into his chest, inhaling his cologne as she cried.
'How am I different? Look what I've just done.'
Damon sighed and kissed the top of her head.
'You're caring and gentle Elena. You don't toy with people and you don't use people to try and get what you want. You're everything she never was and so much more.' He whispered into her hair, the words seeming to calm her. She looked up at him then, her eyes filled with pain. He wiped away the tears and smiled at her, a warm genuine smile.
'But now you have to make a choice Elena. You had, I read it in your journal last night. You chose Stefan, but why tell me you love me if you had chosen him already?'
Elena was shocked that Damon had been in her room and read her journal but she shook that thought away. She looked down and began to play with a button on his shirt.
'I realized now that I love you Damon. I realized now that my heart had already belonged to you without me even knowing it.' She looked up at him and smiled slightly. 'I couldn't bare to see you in so much pain Damon and it was then that I realized that I wouldn't care so much if I didn't love you as much as I do. I have never paid attention to those feelings. I brushed them off and forgot about them, locked them away and focused on Stefan. When I wrote that in my diary I was going with the logical choice, the choice that would be seen as the 'right choice' by others. It wasn't what my heart wanted though.'
Damon couldn't believe what he was hearing. Elena Gilbert, the girl with the face of a past love but the soul of something so much purer was in love with the brother who didn't deserve such a gem. He had her heart already and now he could call her his own. He leaned down and kissed her softly. She moaned into the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands moving into his hair. He smiled beneath the kiss; that moan was for him. He held her closer as the kiss deepened, his tongue finding hers and they joined in a fiery dance. Damon pushed Elena back up against the wall causing her to moan once more, their lips melting together more comfortably. Her hands moved down along his back, feeling his muscles beneath the thin fabric of his shirt. She could not believe that she was kissing Damon Salvatore, a brother that she thought she felt nothing more than friendship for. He had been a good friend to her and that's all she had ever felt he was. Stefan suddenly flashed into her mind and she tensed. She had to tell him. She pulled away from Damon and he looked at her, his eyes misted over with desire.
'Damon,' she whispered in a ragged breath. 'We need to…tell Stefan.'
'You don't have to tell him anything.'
Stefan's voice rang in Elena's ears and she snapped her head around to look at him, feeling guilty for what had happened. Damon stepped away from Elena but took her hand in his. The strange feeling of his fingers locked with hers sent a shiver through her body.
'Stefan-'
He held up his hand and shook his head.
'You're just like Katherine.' He hissed at her.
The words cut through her and she felt the tears build up once again.
'I'm not-'
'Then how do you explain what you are doing Elena?' Stefan asked, looking at her.
'I've made my choice. My choice is Damon and if you want to know Stefan it was going to be you. But that's not really what I wanted, not really what my heart wanted,' she replied, swallowing the lump in her throat. Damon squeezed her hand and she smiled up at him.
Stefan shook his head and glared at Damon. 'Well done brother, you win.'
'Stefan-'
Elena began but stopped when Stefan vanished out the door. She sighed and looked down once more. Damon frowned and looked over at the fireplace.
'You could change your mind if you wanted to?' he said, the words tasting like acid.
Elena looked up at him in shock. She grabbed his face and turned it towards her.
'I would never do that Damon. I want to be with you. I just…I just wish he would have stayed and listened to what I had to say, listened to my explanation.'
Damon sighed in relief and kissed her softly. 'He'll listen…when he's ready to.'
Elena nodded and then smiled up at him.
Damon smirked at her. 'So, I get to call you my girlfriend now?'
Elena chuckled; the sound of her being Damon Salvatore's girlfriend's seemed so strange. 'Yup,' she said popping the 'p'.
Damon sighed and shook his head. 'I'm sure going to miss my single life.'
Elena slapped his arm and shook her head. 'You finally get what you want Mr. Salvatore and you say that.'
He gave her that same smirk and picked her up into his arms making her giggle. 'Mmm, I do like the way you call me 'Mr. Salvatore', very sexy,' he replied.
Elena giggled once again and kissed him softly.
'I'm sure I can handle being a one woman man,' Damon said with a smirk.
Elena rolled her eyes playfully and then looked at her watch.
'I have to go. Jenna needs my help with a few things today.'
Damon set her down.
'Will I see you soon?' he asked.
'Yeah, I was thinking maybe you could come around for dinner tonight.' Elena replied, buttoning up his shirt.
'What time do you want me there?'
She looked up at him and smiled, seeing that eager look in his eyes.
'Well seeing as I already know you won't be able to stay away from me for too long let's make it six.'
Damon rolled his eyes. 'I'm not hooked on you Elena so please don't flatter yourself.' He replied with a smirk.
Elena chuckled and then leaned up to him, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.
'We'll see.' She patted his chest and walked towards the door. 'Damon?'
He looked over at her.
'I love you.' She said and smiled.
Damon smiled a genuine smile once more. 'I love you, Elena.'
The words made her tingle all over and she left the house with a wave. She drove back to her house, eager to tell Jenna what had happened.
Damon sat down on the chair, replaying everything that had happened, still in disbelief at it all. He was ready for someone to shake him awake from this entire dream and bring him back to the reality of Elena being with Stefan. As he thought about her a flood of warm feelings and emotions crashed over him again and again, feelings he had long since buried and even forgotten. He looked at his watch and groaned when he saw he still had so long to wait until he could see her again. He looked around the empty boarding house and then got up and headed upstairs to shower. He changed into fresh clothes and grabbed his jacket before heading out.
'I hate it that she's right,' he muttered to himself with a smirk.
He wasn't going to wait until six to see her. He wanted to see her sooner. He climbed into his car and headed off to town.