Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Steph M.

Note: Yes, it's what you think. I wanted an Underworld-esque Bella in this story, just less latex involved. Not that there's anything wrong with latex, but she wouldn't exactly fit-in wearing Selene's outfit in Forks now would she? Violence, time travel, alternate universes, romance, sarcasm, and random acts of lesbionics. I've got it all right here for you.

Chapter 1

After I closed my eyes I brought up the last memories I had of my family. I could live a lifetime's worth in mere seconds, and that's what I did before the ground exploded around me and I rolled down the mountainside. The heat of the trap that took Jasper had turned cold, like snow, like the last winter I experienced in Forks before the Cullens were forced to run. In fact, it was exactly like that.

I held on tightly to my weapons as I bounced along in the snow, slammed into trees, and finally coming to a slow slide until I stopped.

The sudden halt hadn't dazed me; there wasn't much that could, especially not a simple fall like this. Out of instinct I hit the ejection release and two empty magazines dropped out of the hilts of my pistols. Scrambling, I reloaded and sprung to my booted feet scanning around with both weapons held high, ready to fire on Kurtz. He was the only one that was left and I could swear I was able to unload three rounds into his chest as I fell. That should have been more than enough to ignite the venom in his chest.

I should be listening to his screams as his body burned to dust, but there was nothing other than the wind through the trees – trees where there shouldn't be any. I could have sworn we were in Prague twenty seconds ago, but I'd recognize the surrounding mountains anywhere. I'd lived here for long enough to memorize virtually every tree, every blade of grass, every…

Swallowing the venom in my mouth I swiveled my head back and forth, spun around and looked up and down the cliff face.

"Great, now I'm hallucinating, or my gift is screwing with me again."

Everyone thought I was a simple mental shield with the ability to project my powers to encircle those around me. My gift was much more complicated than that. During my human life I was a bad luck magnet. If there was a decent chance that I would fall, it would happen. If there was a good chance that danger was in the area, I would attract it. If the most powerful and deadly species in existence lived somewhere in the country, I would move to that same town and expose myself to it. I think you're starting to get the picture.

Instead of being a mental shield, I was something entirely different, Chaos incarnate. That was a big Cee if you weren't paying attention. The ordinary, average, everyday chaos – little Cee – could be something as innocuous as a drunk teenager that decided riding his bicycle through the halls of his local High School was the idea of a good time. Chaos – big Cee – was a being that was able to make even the most random thing happen with a mere thought, no matter how unlikely.

At first, it would seem as if a mind reader, for instance, wouldn't be able to read my mind. It wasn't because there was a shield in place to deflect the mental probe. It was because there was so much Chaos surrounding my mind that the probability they would be able to read its contents were nil, zip, zero, zilch.

I'd learned to live with my gift. There was absolutely no controlling it. Believe me, I've tried. Beyond bringing others into my sphere of influence I've got zero amount of control over what happens after. The harder I try, the worse things will happen. It was as if I was meant to cause chaos by my mere existence.

No, I wasn't surprised to find myself on the other side of the world; at least not so much that I dwelled on the subject. Weird things like this happen all the time. Well, maybe not exactly like this, but still. With my luck, my chaotic gift clicked into effect right at the exact same moment I was to die and then transported me to somewhere safe. Where better than fifty-two hundred miles away?

Emmett was the one that always said being around me was never boring.

All that aside, I stretched my preternatural senses to their maximum and came up with nothing but nature. If I was actually in Forks once again then I didn't need to shoot anything. Holstering my pistols at my side, I picked up the empty magazines and stashed them away for use later and then started toward the old house.

It had been burned to the ground back in fifty-three by Kurtz when he first found out where we were. We had returned a decade later to build a supplies bunker. It was there that I would be able to make some more ammunition and then return to Prague to find out if I was successful or not in killing the bastard that had done the same to my family. I'd also set aside a little time to stop by Charlie's grave. He died of natural causes back in forty-nine at the ripe old age of eighty five.

Being a vampire I got used to the constant barrage of life and death; it's pretty much what humans do. They live, breathe, eat, procreate, and die – not necessarily in that order. I'm pretty sure they do other stuff too, but really, those are the highlights. For the past twenty-five years I haven't really been too concerned with anything other than staying alive and keeping those that were close to me alive as well.

Edward was the first to go, since he was the first to read Kurtz's intensions when he arrived. Of course, my husband threw himself in the way to save my life while I escaped. Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie followed soon after. Emmett was inconsolable after that and he joined her within the year, but not without taking half of Kurtz's coven with him. A low grade tactical nuke is more than enough to vaporize a vampire, just in case you wanted to know.

Not that I didn't understand Emmett's feeling of loss and desire for revenge, but I wanted to make sure the guy that started it all was dead before I met my own end.

Alice, Jasper, and I lasted the longest for obvious reasons. Jasper was the one that came up with the idea of modifying existing weapons to carry enough power and incendiary explosive to take out a vampire. Ever since then we've taken the fight to them. Kurtz didn't use much time replenishing his ranks, but they were grunts with no usable gifts among them. Soon enough we'd worked him down to virtually nothing and then we pounced.

That's where we made our last mistake.

~O~

Ten minutes was all it took to run the distance to the tree line well behind the ruins of the old house. Simply to be cautious I took to the trees, as high as I could go, just to make sure I couldn't be scented. The outfits Alice designed were made specifically for that reason. I was of the mind that she finally had her chance to get me into something dark and skin tight. Everything was covered from neck to toe in some air tight fabric. Heavy duty boots and our weapons rigs were all that was left. That was covered up with clichéd long dark coats. Alice mentioned that if she was going to go out then it was going to be in style.

My ability to leave a scent was virtually nil. My hair, blowing in the breeze would drift away in a manner of seconds. To a vampire I was essentially invisible. That was saying something.

From tree to tree I leaped, keeping my eyes on the next jump and keeping my ears out for any sound that was out of the ordinary. When I was within two hundred yards I had to come to an abrupt stop.

Someone was there. Someone was on Cullen land, my land, and by the sounds of the noise, they were having a party.

Hatred welled up in my stomach; a feeling I had nursed like hungry newborn since its birth twenty-four years ago. It's what kept me going when all I wanted to do was join Edward. Revenge kept my hatred ripe and robust.

It couldn't be the wolves. They knew better.

The land hadn't been sold, because it would have had to go through Alice, Jasper, or me, at least before they died it did. That left vampires or humans. Since Kurtz had three of my rounds in his chest I sincerely doubted he was here.

"Fucking humans," I spat.

I didn't used to curse. I also used to live and let live when it came to humans, wolves, and vampires.

Things change. Hate changes you. Hearing the screams of your victims as they burn alive changes you. Having your entire immortal family die in front of your eyes changes you.

Within a hundred yards I could almost make out voices below the music. It was too loud to be able to tell exactly how many of them there were, but if they were human then there was definitely one way to scare them off.

Climbing a little higher, I looked around. The area close to my former home was lit up fairly well, but the canopy of the forest made it impossible to see anything else.

I breathed unnecessarily to calm my nerves, just as I did less than an hour earlier when I hugged Alice and Jasper for the last time. Slipping a hand to my web belt I withdrew my last white phosphorus grenade, pulled the ring, flipped the spoon off, and tossed it within fifty yards of the area, on the other side well away from me. If they acted accordingly, then they'd scatter.

The grenade may seem like overkill, but they were the perfect weapon against vampires. Upon explosion they threw gobs of white phosphorus around. Once exposed to air, it burned, and didn't stop burning until the fuel ran out. All you need is just a little exposed venom and that's all need be done; poof, flaming vampire. The problem was that it was messy. There was no telling where the stuff would fly, so it was useless as a weapon up close. That's what the hand cannons were for, and since I had their attention diverted in the opposite direction I thought this was a perfect time to drop in on my uninvited guests.

At preternatural speed I leaped from tree to tree until there was a gap large enough in the canopy to jump in a high arch, clearing the rest in a single bound. Midway into the jump I pulled both pistols, ready to kill or at the very least scare the shit out of whoever thought it was a good idea to invade my territory. A half second later I nearly dropped them when I saw the house – the Cullen house just like it was before, down to Esme's rose garden in the back.

My attention was drawn so much toward the impossibly restored house that I didn't realize I was close to the ground until the last possible second to recover. That was all it really took. I was a vampire after all, and I was trained by the best vampire killer in North America.

Mud and sod exploded around me when I landed on one knee and snapped my pistols up at the first movement I saw. A girl screamed to my right, but I was already stunned into immobility at the sight of Edward Cullen standing not ten feet away from me with wide surprised golden eyes. My mouth opened and then snapped shut.

"Edward?"

Something slammed into me from the left. Instinctively, I slammed my elbow onto the head of whoever it was and twisted away, but he'd already gotten a good grip on my waist. Instead of trying to pull away any further I wrapped my legs around him and squeezed with everything I had. A rib gave under the pressure, but he didn't waste any more time holding me down. Instead, he slammed his fist into my kidney.

Pain speared through me and that just drove the anger within me even further, fueling my desperate need to live long enough to see Kurtz's ashes.

Dropping one of my pistols I jackhammered my fist onto the side of his head.

"Jasper!" someone screamed.

The next thing I knew someone else grabbed my free hand while the person who tackled me was dragged off. My remaining pistol came around, straight into the face of…

"Emmett?"

"She's a vampire," he yelled and swung at me.

I dodged to the side hearing his fist impact with the ground. We had to stop. First a clone of Edward and now Emmett. I had to reassess the situation and tone things down before I could make a decision on whether or not to kill these people.

Jackknifing, I wrapped my ankles around his neck and pulled, forcing the Emmett clone to either let me go or lose his head. When he flew across the back yard I grabbed my errant pistol and rolled to my feet with the house at my back.

Mud dripped off of me in clumps, some half covering my face, but I couldn't spare the time to wipe it away, so my aim was roving from one shape to another, keeping them back. "Who are you people?"

"Who are we?" a girl that strangely sounded like Alice yelled. "This is our land! Who are you?"

Taking another step back, I bumped against the house and took a split second to wipe at my face. I had to see them properly.

Emmett was standing there, being held back by Esme. His hands were clenching and I was well familiar with the anger showing on his face. Edward was off to the right with Rosalie behind him peering over his shoulder. Jasper's face was littered with cracks, but they were healing over as quickly as I took him in. Alice stood in the center of the crowd looking at me like I was insane.

"I said who the hell are you?" she reiterated.

My knees gave out as I heard the splat of mud underneath me when my knees hit. "I really am dead… and I'm in Hell."

Dropping my pistols I grabbed my hair and screamed. I had finally gone to Hell and this was my punishment, seeing my family all together and them not recognizing me.

"I can't read her. She's blocking me somehow," Edward said quietly.

"I can't either," Jasper added.

There wasn't anything left to do but laugh. Dropping back against the house I looked up and did just that. Emmett appeared as if he was over his anger and was looking at me like I was one banana short of a bunch. That was right before he saw Alice start approaching me.

"Uh, Alice. Getting closer to the psycho chick probably isn't a good idea."

Rosalie had to put her two cents in as well. "Can someone take the really big guns away from the crazy lady?"

My eyes snapped to hers and I leaned forward enough to grab the only things that were tangible in this nightmare.

Alice paused and saw that I wasn't pointing them at anyone in particular. At this point there was mud caked in the barrels and they were useless until cleaned, but they were mine.

"You seemed to know Edward and Emmett," she offered in lieu of asking me another question.

Looking to my right I spotted Edward and then I moved to Rose. "Rosalie Hale, Edward Mason Junior, Emmett McCarty, Esme Platt, Jasper Whitlock, and Mary Alice Brandon. All we're missing is Carlisle and we can have a going away party for my sanity."

Alice blinked and then her eyes widened. "Y-you know my name—my full name?"

All the wariness was gone from her face and in its place I saw her searching me, looking for something, as if she was trying to remember but couldn't.

"I can't deal with this," I muttered.

Shoving my pistols in their respective holsters strapped to either thigh I took advantage of my position and sprang into the air, to the top of the house and started running. Any place would be better than squatting there staring at my past – a past that I could never have again. It didn't do any good to torture myself more than I had when I took my first step away from Edward and let him defend me to his death.

Seconds later I was well within the woods and the agonizing phantasms were left behind. I didn't stop until I was well north of Forks. I still had to clean my pistols and all my tools were left back in Prague. Not having a way to defend myself beyond my vampire abilities had me nervous. Gone were days of Alice predicting safe havens to rest or regroup. Paranoia and constantly being prepared was my future.

I'd have to buy a new cleaning kit, or in this case steal a new one since it was the dead of night. Newton's it was; if it was still standing that is. Forks' never-ending rain started up again and helped wash away the mud that still clung to me. I needed clothes, and somewhere to take a shower as well. Nothing makes a person stand out in a crowd more than being unwashed.

When I entered the town proper I noticed several things had changed since the last time I'd stopped by a few years back. It almost looked as if the place had regressed in time. The auto-Diner was once again manned by waitresses. The cars were… old, but new at the same time. It was as if classic cars were the new in-thing. Almost all of them looked restored to factory paint jobs.

"What the hell is going on?"

Seeing that the coast was clear, I raced across the highway and around the back of Newton's. Gone was the biometric alarm system and in its place was an antiquated analog keypad that I remembered using when I was the one that opened the store when I worked there.

Looking from side to side I decided to go ahead and try the old passcode. They never changed it the entire time I knew them, and any criminal worth his time in research could have figured out Mike Newton's birthday eventually.

The red light switched to green and I was further puzzled at how this was possible. Double checking again I grabbed the knob and easily popped the lock. So much for having to rush in order to be out of here before Forks' finest showed up to find out why an alarm went off. I could actually take my time as long as I wasn't stupid.

Grabbing one of the larger equipment bags I started shoveling supplies in, but not being really obvious as to what I was taking. They'd have to perform an inventory to figure it out. I'd be long gone by then. Two changes of generic clothes, the cleaning kit, oil, shoes, a camping bath kit and laundry detergent and I was finished.

I zipped up the bag and on the way out I spotted the cash register, which brought me to a halt once more. Nobody paid cash for anything anymore; not unless they were in a third world country. Everything was done by credit chips. Even the old plastic credit cards were antiquated and there was a POS capture unit on the counter for someone's Visa Mastercard. Beside it was a folded up newspaper.

Mrs. Newton used to sit behind the counter and do the daily puzzles while she waited for customers. I hadn't seen an actual newspaper in over fifty years.

Reaching into my jacket I pulled out my personal datapad. Most people liked to wear theirs on their wrist, but I hated wearing jewelry much less something so cumbersome.

I tried logging into the Oracle network, but I was hammered to a standstill.

Unable To Connect To Network

Scanning Available Networks

Software Not Compatible with Area Networks

Activating Compatibility Matrix 7.62

I stood there, open mouthed. It was the first time I had ever seen any of these messages. Oracle's reach was limitless on Earth.

Network Acquired

Activating Decryption Software

Limited Download Speed Available

Activating Encryption Software

Browsing Available

When it gave me the proper prompt I pulled up the Seattle network and had to go through almost everything again. None of my regular sites were available. The satellites that the Cullen family used weren't available and the datapad had to break into what was there. Even then there was a seriously sluggish response time compared to what I was used to.

"What – the – hell."

A prompt came up noting the pad had made a correction in the date and time. That usually happened when I crossed time zones, so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. Except it was. I took note of the new time and the date right below.

My knees felt like they were about to give out again.

Friday, March 4, 2005

"Time – I haven't teleported to Forks from Prague, I've gone back in time and teleported to Forks from Prague." There are some times that I really really hate my gift. "Okay, things make a lot more sense now."

Running through everything I've done since I've arrived I came to a sudden irrevocable stop. "Oh god. They're alive – and they probably think I'm some crazy lady with very large guns and a penchant for tossing around incendiary grenades. Sure – why not? Isn't my life screwed up enough?"

Then my mind clicked again. "Edward… oh no. Charlie! Oh crap! Me!"

Never being able to sleep has had a very effect on my reading habits. Including the classics that I enjoy picking up again and again, I have spread my interest into just about every area of fiction, including the speculative science fiction genre. I don't know how many books I've read that have included time travel amongst the clichéd plot points. There was so much that could go right and so much that could go wrong. So much that I didn't immediately know what to do.

Should I go to Charlie's house and see if I have a human duplicate of myself? Should I go back to the Cullen house to explain myself and beg to be let back into the family even though I'd be joining again in short time. Would there be two of me? Would I have to share Edward in some kind of twisted twin threesome polygamous marriage?

He'd never go for it. I knew my husband well and if I couldn't get him out of the missionary position without dismemberment threats upon Edward Junior then I sure as hell wouldn't be able to share him with myself. And why would I want to?

I was giving myself a headache and vampires don't get headaches.

"Start from the beginning, Bella. Then make your decisions and plan accordingly." That's what Jasper always told me when I started to go frantic, much like I was doing at the moment.

Seeing as how there wasn't any police breaking down the doors, and I knew that Newton's didn't have a surveillance system beyond the alarm at the back door, I went around the counter and started cleaning my pistols. It was something that relaxed me and made me concentrate on the here and now instead of being manic.

Fifteen minutes later and I was cursing how fast everything went using my preternatural speed. I even took my time wiping down my holsters. With an annoyed sigh I stuffed the kit in the bag and jammed the back door shut before rearming the alarm. Hooking the large strap over my shoulders I made for Charlie's house. Finding out if there was another me would either solve a number of problems or create many more.

Two minutes later and I was approaching from behind the house cloaked in the darkness of the forest. Sunrise wasn't for another three hours so I wasn't surprised to find the dark house. There weren't any odd scents in the air, but then again it was still raining, effectively destroying any in the first place.

Judging by the date, Edward should still be going through his creeper phase and I shouldn't know – another me shouldn't know about his being a vampire. At least I don't think so. My human years were a little muddled, but I did take the time after my newborn year to sit down and hash out a timeline in my attempt to remember my past. It was mid-March when I confronted Edward in the forest by the school and he tried to scare me away.

The rain was making it difficult to hear sleeping people inside much less their heartbeats. Throwing caution in the wind I hopped down from the tree I was perched on and closed in on the house. My window was open slightly, so I took a chance and bounded up the tree by my room and latched onto the windowsill. Pulling myself up a little I peered through the crack and saw a lump in the sheets that was vaguely Bella Swan sized.

Using one hand to hold on and another to lift the window, I eased through and stepped lightly on the floor. The smell of human and freesia permeated everything.

"Damn, Alice was right; I do smell good."

Her blood didn't do a thing for me. Before the pitched battle against Kurtz in Prague, Alice, Jasper, and I raided a hospital's expired supply and got blood drunk. I wouldn't have to feed for a week or two easy.

It was there that I had to make a decision. I'd already screwed everything up with the Cullens. While the situation was probably repairable, it was going to take some time and probably a little groveling. On the other hand, I could tell myself. If I couldn't trust me then who could I trust? At least I'd have a place to keep my stuff until I could work out something else. Charlie might be a problem, but seriously, the man, while a little freaked out at first, came around to embrace the whole vampire thing eventually. Telling the other me would solve so many future problems as well.

James, Victoria, and Laurent were going to go up in nice purple flames when they arrived in Forks. Hmm, I wonder if Sam had already phased. Killing the rogue vampires might stop that altogether. Either way I needed to either go back to the veggie lifestyle or start raiding hospitals. Maybe Carlisle could hook me up. Animal blood is just nasty after having the real stuff for so long.

Meh, decisions to be made later.

I dropped my back to the floor, pulled the sheet back on the other me and slapped my hand down on her mouth while I held a finger to my lips with my other. Her eyes snapped open in panic and she even managed to struggle a little before I whispered.

"Shhh. I'm not here to hurt you, but I don't want you screaming and waking Charlie up."

When it was obvious that she wasn't going anywhere with me clamped down on her, the other me ceased moving and nodded, whereupon I eased off. She scrambled up toward the headboard and clutched the sheet tightly as if I was some common criminal there to steal her virtue or something.

"Relax," I said again before turning on the bedside lamp.

She squinted against the harsh light while I grabbed her warmup bottoms off the floor and pushed them up against the bottom of the door to reduce light on the other side and hopefully muffle our conversation.

"Who are you?"

I smirked and turned back around to see her studying me. "You don't recognize me?"

Her sleep-fogged brain appeared as if it was engaging. "You look like… me, only hotter. Oh my god. Charlie has another daughter. He cheated on Mom! I have a sister!"

"Uh, no. Try again."

"No? You're not my sister?"

"No." Reaching out my hand I said, "Here touch my hand."

She looked down at it for a moment.

"I didn't say pull my finger. Just touch my hand, Bella."

She wrinkled her nose at me. "It's Isabella. I hate it when people shorten my name like that."

My mouth dropped open slightly.

"You're cold. There's another blanket in my closet if you want."

With a few blinks and a minute shake of my head later I leaned in and let her get a good look at me. "Does anything seem off to you?"

Her head pulled back as if I was invading her space. "Uh, you're really pale and you have freaky taste in contacts?"

"Oh brother." Pausing to keep myself from just blurting things out I said, "Does my appearance remind you of anyone… besides you?"

Apparently, lack of sleep made me loopy when I was human.

"Uh… no?"

I sighed and stood up to slide off my jacket. Isabella sucked in a harsh breath.

"Are those real?"

"What? Oh." I looked down at the weapons. "Yeah. Look, didn't you just move here a couple months ago?"

She nodded. "Mom married Phil and I moved in with Charlie."

Glancing around the room I saw everything was pretty much like I left it decades ago when I was the one in the bed and Edward…. A pause in mid-thought caused me to inhale deeply.

No vampires had been in here except for me. Edward wasn't being a creeper.

Spinning around, I closed in on Isabella. "This is a very important question. Are there any boys at school that you like – I mean really like?"

Isabella appeared mildly affronted. "That's a pretty personal question for someone that I don't know."

"Answer me. It's seriously important."

"My love life is important to you?"

Rolling my eyes I rubbed at my temples again. My headache was back. The problem was I couldn't take any aspirin. Maybe if Isabella took some and I bit her and drank all of her blood… nah.

"Um… you probably don't know him. He definitely doesn't know I exist except when he gives me dirty looks if I get too close to him."

"Edward," I proclaimed.

"Eww! No! He's all Emo and uses way too much hair gel. It's his brother, Jasper." Her face lit up a little and she got a faraway look in her eyes.

Again, I was dumbstruck. "Apparently, I'm in a different universe. Not only did I transport from Prague to Forks, and go back in time, I've entered into some freaky alternate universe. This can't be happening."

"Oh!" Isabella exclaimed as she pointed her finger at me. "That's who you remind me of… the Whitlocks!"