Somewhere Love Remains

All my life I have had a choice of hate and love. I chose love and I am here.

A.R. Rahman

Prologue

Maui Hawaii, August 17, 2012

"I don't know what to say Troy," Gabriella sounded very tired and worn out. "I…I can't do this anymore. I've waited for a long time for your apology, I've fantasized but reality is not as beautiful as fantasy, it's so far from it. You hurt me, I never thought that you could be this capably of hurting me, but you succeed where no one else did. I trusted you with my heart and you…you tore it apart. I told you I loved you and you…you walked away." She sobbed and fell onto the couch and finally cried out her frustration, her confusion and her lost love.

Troy stood still and watched as she reached the end of her rope. He realized that he had truly hurt her, maybe even beyond repair. Nothing in this world terrified him more, he needed her, needed her vibrant spirit and cheerful, beautiful laughter. But this woman in front of him was a broken down shell of her former self and for the first time since their break-up and his arrival here on the island he realized that he might leave here and return back to California and Gabriella would not be by his side. His heart skipped a beat, this would be the hardest task of his life, right now proving to her that he deserved to be a part of her life and her heart after he so brutally broke it by not trusting in their love, not fighting for their love…

"Gabi…please, I know I hurt you and I know that that was something I shouldn't have done, but the proof of what happened was in front of me how could I refuse it."

Gabriella looked up at him, tears still clinging to her cheeks, an angry light to her eyes. "You shouldn't have needed proof!" She snapped. "My word, should have been enough, I'd hoped it was enough, but no. You CHOSE the word," she spat out, "of a proven manipulator over mine, the woman you claimed to love!"

The words hit him like a ton of bricks, he wanted to refute them, but he knew they were the truth and that was the most devastating of all.

She looked past him and continued. "I loved you to distraction, I would have given you everything I had, hell I did! I gave you the most precious part of me, my love and my trust, but you and you alone chose to throw that away because of lies and hurtful words. I don't even know where to begin."

He had to basically push the words from his throat and even then they only came out in a whisper. "I thought lies were all your style."

And that was basically the last straw for Gabriella just like he knew it would be. She quietly stared at him for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and forgetting about the consequences her words might bring. If she was going to blow it and lose him…it was going to be done on her terms and he was NOT going to leave that room without feeling like the lowest life-form ever to have walked the earth. That's how he had made her feel and it was time to return the favor.

"Okay Bolton, I'm going to tell you a story about a little girl and her dreams." She stood up and walked up to him and pushed him onto the nearest chair, she was now angry as a hornet and he was going to bear the brunt of it. "Sit down Mr. Playmaker 'cause you're about to hear one hell of a story." She crossed her arms over her chest and poked her hip out in disgust.

"Let's imagine a little girl who grows up in a relatively normal family. Her parents love her more than anything, she has a wonderful family in every sense of the word, and we're basically talking the American dream right here. Mommy and daddy have a wonderful marriage, they have great friends, and, they never failed to make sure that those she was loved. Now this little girl is supposed to be all lace and frills, but instead she has a BRAIN and she would rather do things her own way."

She started pacing across the room in front of him. "Instead of going with the flow and being everything they want or expect her to be, she goes the independent and always difficult route. There isn't a lot that comes easy to her because of this decision and this way of life, but she's happy. I mean, she is genuinely happy because through all of this…she has herself and the knowledge that she's making the right choices for HERSELF."

"She has always prided herself in the fact that she could be whoever or whatever she wanted to be. She always prided herself in that she could stand up for herself, stand up for the people she loves, and stand up for what she believes in. No matter how hard the opponent or the opposition…she could beat it if she fought hard enough." She looked up at him and her eyes narrowed. "Enter one best friend."

"Oh yes, see God decided that this little girl didn't need to go through life fighting ALL of her battles alone so he carefully placed one little boy who was perfect in every way. He sings perfectly, he plays basketball perfectly, he smiles perfectly, he laughs perfectly, and dammit he even brushes his teeth perfectly I bet. This guy is raised by firm yet gentle hands that help him grasp his dreams in both of his hands and cherish them. Those guiding hands help him nurture and feed those dreams because that's what this little boy was destined to be…a dreamer."

"This little girl watches this, becomes a part of those dreams, and even comes to love the dreams of that little boy almost as much as she loves her own. From such a young age, that little boy has been so persistent and so adamant about the passion he has for making his dreams come true that she can't help but admire and love him for it. After all, he was always there for her and always managed to pull her out of any bind that she might get herself into. He was always there to support and love her in times when she needed his strength the most."

Troy looked away and she shook her head at the movement. "Her whole life, that little boy was not only a part of her heart…he was a creator of dreams. He made her see that she could do anything as long as they were together. He made her see that it didn't matter what people did or said around them because they would always have the strength of each other pushing them through the tough times. They WOULD succeed."

"She watched this boy change into a man while she watched his dreams become a reality. She gave him a shoulder to cry on, an ear to hear his excitement or pain, and she loved him more and more every day because of that trust he bestowed on her. There was never a time when she wasn't proud of him. Even through his stupidity or mistakes…she knew that he was worthy of her love and her belief in the fact that he could make any situation better."

Trpy cleared his throat and Gabriella's head turned to the side to see if he was really listening to her. "There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't say a prayer of thanks for bringing that boy, that friend, that kindred soul into her life and blessing her with the comfort that she always had someone to turn to who would understand her. No matter what happened or how scared or lost she might feel, there was always someone there who knew more about her than she knew about herself. A guy who she believed…loved her unconditionally because he understood. He understood how much he meant to that girl."

"Things changed for that girl when the boy turned into a man. He turned into the most amazing, talented, passionate, and WONDERFUL man that she had ever seen in her life. He took up her thoughts, he created thoughts, he inspired her to live for her own dreams, and to become a better person when all she really wanted to do was give up at times." She took several deep breaths to calm her nerves.

"She couldn't…she couldn't believe what she started feeling for him because things like that didn't happen to best friends. Things that felt THAT GOOD didn't happen for her because it was unexpected and she was no princess in a fairy tale. This was the kind of stuff that only happened to gorgeous or beautiful women who probably never appreciated the power that they held over men like that. It wasn't supposed to happen!"

His voice was weak and strained. "What happened?"

"She allowed herself to fall into the only one TRUE pit of stupidity. She fell in love with the guy. It didn't matter that she didn't deserve to love him or that he didn't look at her in any way other than that little girl that he had always picked up after she had fallen. She…loved…him. All of the words and all of the memories hit her and made her realize that he was all she had EVER wanted. She was scared and she was afraid of letting anyone know this, but there was a very nosey best friend hanging around who could read people like a book, which is very annoying, and she made the girl realize that it wasn't wrong to love him. It wasn't wrong to fall in love with the guy who made her FEEL like that fairy tale princess."

Troy coughed again and he sniffled before looking over at her again.

Gabriella stared into his eyes and smiled slightly. "Oh she felt like the happiest person on earth. When he walked into a room, when his eyes lit up, when that smile that only he could give was in front of her…she loved him just a little bit more because that was the essence of who he was. In those twinkling eyes, she could still see the little boy that was so much a part of her life for so long that he was in fact…a part of her. She held onto the hope that they weren't just playing a game together. She talked herself into believing that the kisses and the touches meant just as much to him as they did to her because neither one of them took those things lightly. They were too blessed in their lives to ever have to search for meaningless emotions or embraces. She believed in what she knew of him."

"But the feelings didn't last long, and she should have expected it because that was usually how her luck ran. Lies were thrown around, deceptions were planned, and that little boy disappeared from his eyes. In his eyes was now a man that she had never seen before and a man that…that scared her. He shut her out because of those lies, and when she tried to fight to save that little boy that was now lost from his eyes…the man pushed her aside. He pushed her aside like he had never known her or even cared to have known her."

"This man didn't believe in her, didn't believe in the gifts that she had always given him unconditionally, and he didn't care that she wanted to fight to save not only her life…but the life of that innocent boy that she loved so much. He took every bit of hope that she had and he cheapened it by throwing accusations at her and by hitting her where he knew it would hurt. When she wasn't hurting bad enough, he took painful memories that she had entrusted him with and he used THOSE against her."

"He…he took kisses and touches that had given her hope, and he acted like they had only been his way of getting a little action or satisfaction from indulging in a guilty pleasure. She wanted to believe so badly that he wasn't just playing along with a game that they had been playing to fool someone, but that he had been honest when he had said that she meant more to him than anyone else in his life. She wanted to believe that the sparkles in his eyes when he looked at her were really FOR her and not just FOR SHOW."

When Troy looked away again, she walked forward until she was directly in front of him. "He made her feel foolish, he made her feel cheap, he even called her cheap, and for the first time…she was scared of him. For the first time…she regretted the memories she had with him because that only gave him more ammunition to hit her with." She didn't know if she could say it, but it had to be said. "For the first time Troy, she wished that she had never met him because only then would the pain go away."

"Her whole life she had been searching for her dreams and she had found it. HE was her dream and he was the reason why no fairy tale could hold her interest or even grab her attention because…she had lived it. She didn't need tales of love or tales of fairy godmothers who came down and changed ugly ducklings into beautiful swans so they could live happily ever after. Her fairy tale had begun the day she first laid eyes on that boy who would one day be everything she had ever wanted, and everything she didn't even realize she wanted."

A tear ran down Troy's cheek and it stopped when it hit her thumb. Gabriella stared at it while she continued. "Now she just feels stupid. Now she just feels like a childish idiot for having faith in someone or something that might possibly be perfect in her life. If he believed the lies of one manipulator, who says it won't happen again? Who says she'll ever forgive him for the way he cheapened everything she thought they stood for to begin with? Who says that she'll ever forget the angry tone and the angry eyes that had crushed her the night that he called her names that STILL echo inside of her head?"

She looked at the tears that now rolled freely down his cheeks and then her eyes moved to his lips. "And she wonders…she wonders if she'll ever be able to forget the dirtiness she felt when HER hero was being comforted in someone else's arms."