Author's Note: This is my first FF8 story, and I would really like some feedback. Please no flames- if you don't like it don't read it. Constructive criticism is welcome.

Never-ending Franchise #8

OPENING SEQUENCE

Just to cut things short there was a beach, some writing, a chick with dark hair who's obviously the love interest, another chick with hair she can suck into her head and a wicked sword fight.

Swords: Clang clang.

And one of the guys gets cut…

Guy: Ow! I'll get you!!

And the other guy gets cut. Fade to black.

IN THE INFIRMARY

Dr. Strange-Name-That-I-Cant-remember: How are you feeling?

Dark Haired guy who got cut: What kind of stupid question is that?

Dr. SNTICR: Say your name.

Squall: Squall. (Or whatever other name you choose.)

Dr. SNTICR: Okay, I'll just call your teacher.

Doctor talks into phone offscreen. Enter Ellone…oops, I mean Mysterious Woman.

Mysterious Woman: So, we meet again Squall. For the last time.

Squall: What the?

Exit Mysterious Woman. Enter Quistis, Squall's impossibly young teacher.

Quistis: Sigh. I knew it would be either you or Seifer, because you two were the only two fighting. That, and I read the script.

Squall: Whatever dude…Hang on, what script?

Quistis: Remind me again, why are you the main character?

Squall: (shrugs) Better me than Zell…or Zidane…or Tidus…

Quistis: Well, that's debatable.

IN THE HALL

Quistis: (Blabbers on for awhile, by now everyone's just hitting the X button really fast)

Squall: (Non-committal grunts.)

Quistis: I'm really starting to get to know my student!

Player: What the? He hasn't said anything intelligible so far!

Quistis: Exactly.

Player: Whatever

Squall: That's my line!

Player: Shut up.

Squall: Make me!

Player turns off volume on television.

Player: Ha!

Quistis: Mumble mumble mumble?

Subtitles: Can we get on with the story now?

Player: Okay, since this plot is really rocketing along here.

(Camera pans out to show school/hotel with many 'students' that look remarkably like the people in The Sims wander around pointlessly. Bells ring.)

IN THE CLASSROOM

Squall enters classroom and sits down. Quistis enters minutes later, despite being ahead of him when they were walking down the hall. Quistis sits down.

Quistis: (blabbers on about stuff that's bound to be important later, but no one cares.)

Squall: (slumps in chair) Zzzzzzz….

Quistis: Just to humiliate him in front of the whole class…Seifer, do not injure your partner in training. Class, all point and laugh at Seifer because he can't control himself.

Class: (points and laughs at Seifer.)

Quistis: And Squall, come see me after class. (winks)

Class: (pointed glances at Squall and Quistis, snickering)

(Everyone gets up to leave, even though the class has only been going on for 2 minutes)

Quistis: Have you done the Fire Cavern yet?

Squall: No.

Quistis: Do you have a good excuse?

Squall: Does having your head cut open and nearly die count?

Quistis: No.

Squall: In that case…not really.

Quistis: Okay, then meet me at the Front Gate. Oh and don't forget to access the Tutorial. You can Access a Computer from your seat.

Squall: Is there any reason why you keep accenting some words and wiggling your eyebrows suggestively?

Quistis: Sigh.

IN THE HALL…AGAIN

Squall walks down hallway.

Stranger: (censored)

Squall: Lost, stranger?

Stranger: Yeah. Can you help me?

Squall: Nope, cos I'm a 'lone wolf'. Honestly, didn't you read the game manual? Wait a minute…

Selphie: Dude, you're like mean. Booyaka!

Squall: What?

Selphie: Later dude!

Squall: Whatever.

Nameless Student: (shows Squall cards) Look, I won these! Aren't they cool?

Squall: (snatches cards) Finders-Keepers!

Nameless Student: Hey!

Squall walks down to Front Gate. Quistis is waiting for him, wearing an extremely strange outfit. And carrying a whip. Minds out of the gutter people.

AT THE FRONT GATE

Quistis: bla bla bla GF bla bla bla Junction bla bla bla Menu bla bla bla. Did you get that?

Squall: What?

Player: Does she ever shut up?

Quistis: Let's go.

IN BATTLE

Quistis: Don't forget, R1 pulls the trigger.

Player: Did I miss something?

Squall: I think after using this weapon for several years, I'd have to be pretty stupid not to know how to pull the trigger.

Quistis: Exactly why I reminded you.

Squall: (prances around in a snit)

The enemy (a giant wasp) is vanquished by Squall spraying it with Mortein. The other enemy (a giant caterpillar) melts when Quistis sprays it with salt. Fanfare plays.

FIRE CAVERN

Quistis: Bla bla bla, brag brag brag, annoy annoy annoy.

Squall: Whatever.

They enter a large room with a narrow walkway above a large, fast flowing river of lava.

Squall: Aaargh! Hot!

Quistis: Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention this part. You have to fight this big guy. (evil grin)

Quistis points at ENORMOUS lion-like creature breathing fire. Lion-thing grins.

Lion-dude: Hey, I'm Ifrit. Welcome to my humble abode…ahem, I mean, WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER?!

Squall: That's not your line, that's Diablos'. Besides, you weren't even sleeping. So nyah-nyah! (Pokes out tongue)

Ifrit: I'll fight you, puny little man!!

Squall and Ifrit fight. Quistis summons Shiva.

Ifrit: They have Shiva! I was wondering why she didn't show up for our date…

They fight some more, then Ifrit falls down.

Ifrit: I'm done for…go on without me…(gasps)

Squall: (teary) I'm not leaving you…

Ifrit: I'll just (cough cough) slow you down…

Quistis looks at watch.

Ifrit: Tell lil Billy…I can't make it home for Christmas…(coughs again)

Squall: Sniff sniff.

Ifrit: It's all getting dark…uuuuarrrrrrghhhhh!

Ifrit goes still.

Squall: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! WHY GOD, WHY???

Quistis: Just junction the damn thing so we can get out of here- it's really hot.

Squall: Sorry…just got caught up in the moment.

Author's Note: Please review me, I need to know whether I should continue or not!