Disclaimer- I own none.

Warning- I know none of the Christmas traditions of the 1870s. I do apologize if this is 100% historically inaccurate.

"First Christmas morning without Jem in six years. The purest cold, bringing the purest pain."

-Clockwork Princess, page 530

Christmas Eve, 1875

No, that wasn't quite right.

Jem frowned, lowering the violin from his shoulder. He shifted the instrument to his left hand, taking his pen from the stand to add a crescendo to the already ink-covered page. He was attempting to write a Christmas piece for the following evening, but time was running short and something was still missing. Jem just couldn't figure out what it was.

A knock sounded on his door. William, Jem thought, relieved, moving to set his violin on his desk. After last year's holiday season, Jem saw that this time of year was difficult for Will- it must have reminded him of home. He had sworn to himself then that no matter what, he would make this Christmas great for Will. But before Jem even awoke today, Will had left the Institute. Jem hadn't seen him since.

"Will?" he asked.

"No, it's me, Jem," Charlotte said, sounding apologetic. Jem swallowed, forcing his voice to be cheerful in reply.

"Oh, alright," he said, moving to open the door. "What is it?

"I was wondering if you wanted to join Henry and me downstairs for hot chocolate." Charlotte sounded so hopeful, Jem could hardly refuse.

"Of course," he said. "I'll be down in five minutes."

"Wonderful." Charlotte smiled gratefully, turning to head back downstairs. Jem watched her go, before heading to his closet to pull Les Miserables off the top shelf. He wanted to wrap it before Will got home- he couldn't risk his friend finding out what Jem had gotten him. He picked up the paper and tape, wrapping it up securely as he could. He did hope Will would like it- he was picky with books. But Jem had tried to describe his parabatai's preferences to the boy at the shop, and this was what he suggested.

He finished it up, and laid it back up on the top shelf, before heading back upstairs.

Jem watched the windows all day, but all he saw was falling snow. Never a dark haired boy.

Jem awoke to the light pit-pat of snow on the roof. He yawned, sitting up and stretching out his arms- and jumped, at the sight of Will perched on the edge of his bed, grinning at him.

"Will!" he said, relief flowing through his voice. "Where were you yesterday?"

"Out," Will answered vaguely. "Now come on, you idiot, get out of bed! It's Christamas!" He seemed excited, and alive. Jem thought back to last Christmas, when Will was like a ghost- replying in one word answers and spending the majority of the time locked up in his room.

"Yes, I suppose it is," Jem replied, smiling brightly back at his parabatai. "Merry Christmas, William."

"And the same to you, my friend." Will jumped up, grabbing Jem's wrist to yank him up. "Now up!"

Jem stood, shaking Will off. "I have to give you your present before we head downstairs, though."

Will's face fell. "Oh. I- I didn't realize we were doing presents."

Oh.

It doesn't matter, Jem told himself sternly. This Christmas isn't about you, Jian. This one is for Will.

"That's quite alright," Jem said, keeping his voice cheerful. "I didn't expect one in return." Which might have been the wrong thing to say, because Will only looked worse. "Anyway- here's yours." Jem walked over to his closet, pulling the paper-wrapped gift of the top shelf where he had left it, and throwing it to Will. "Catch."

Will caught it on reflex, a perfect catch. Jem felt a surge of pride- after all, he did train Will. Will began to open it, infuriatingly slow. He opened carefully, as to not tear the paper, peeling off the tape. Anxiety came over Jem quickly- he needed Will to like this, to feel like he did something to improve his friend's holidays. Finally, the package came undone, and Will held the book in his hand.

Will stared at the cover. And he did not say a word.

Jem swallowed. Moments passed by, until Jem finally blurted out. "So do you like it?"

Will stared for a moment longer, before looking up to meet Jem's eyes. "This was my sister's favorite book," he said, his voice a strange mixture of joy and sorrow. "She… she always told me I could read it when I was her age. Fourteen."

"Oh," Jem said. "Oh- God, I'm sorry Will, I didn't know. I wouldn't have wanted-"

Will interrupted him by wrapping him in a tight, sudden hug. Jem relaxed instantly, hugging him back. If this was what Will needed, Jem was only too happy to give. "Thank you," Will murmured in his ear.

The embrace lasted a moment longer, before Will cleared his throat and stepped back, and Jem knew instantly the moment was over. "Alright," Will said. "Now we head downstairs. Just let me go throw this in my room." He waved the book in the air, before dashing off to his room.

They met back up downstairs, Will pulling on his coat as he hurried down the stairs. "You game for going outside before breakfast?" he asked, buttoning up the jacket.

Jem raised his eyebrows, amused, at Will. "I see I don't have much choice," he said, slipping on his own jacket as Will stuck on his gloves. And then, of course, Will insisted that Jem not only wear gloves as well, but also a scarf, a hat, and two layers of socks. Jem drew the line at another coat, though- "I'll have to roll everywhere like a ball, William!"- and so they headed on out into the snow.

Jem immediately headed over to the ice that gathered beautifully on the bird bath. He ran a finger along the edge of it- even through his gloves, he could feel the sharpness of it. How could anything be so beautiful, yet so dangerous? How could anything-

A cold ball of snow landed on the small part of his head between the scarf Will had firmly put on him and the red hat.

Jem turned slowly, to see Will grinning without shame, holding another snowball ready. Without breaking eye contact, Jem knelt and scooped up a ball of icy snow. "You, my friend," Jem said, standing up slowly, "have just declared war."

The rest of the day went well. There was apple cider, a delicious Christmas lunch and dinner that Agatha had carefully prepared, violin playing, and lots of snow and warming themselves by the fire. (There was also a very wet, very angry Jessamine that may or may not have had to do with the snow).

It was after dinner that Will surprised Jem. Just as Jem set down his fork, Will was standing, saying to Charlotte, "Sorry, James and I have to go. We'll be back late- don't wait up." Jem looked up at him, confused, but Will was already firmly taking his hand and pulling him towards the door.

"What are you talking about, Will? It's six-thirty- what would we have planned?" Will grabbed Jem's jacket and went to put it on his friend. Jem, in his confusion, let him, despite the fact that he could dress himself fine, thank you, William.

Will just grinned, and replied cryptically: "You'll see."

Once Will approved of Jem's outfit, and had shrugged on his own jacket, they were out the door. Will pulled Jem along, not running but at a swift pace. Jem kept asking questions, but Will would always avoid answering, until they were standing outside the music hall, with many fancily-dressed adults filtering in round them. Jem looked at Will in bewilderment, and Will smiled brightly and pulled to tickets out of his pocket. Jem read them, and-

No.

It wasn't possible.

"Did you really think I hadn't gotten you a present, James?" Will asked, laughter in his voice.

"I- Will, these are tickets to the London Orchestra," Jem said slowly.

"Yes," Will replied, a bit less sure this time. "Wouldn't you like to go? I thought, because they had violins and stuff…"

"Of course I would! But how on earth did you afford-"

Will shrugged. "I've been working for an old man downtown, needed someone to help move his shop. I had to get the tickets yesterday, and arrange everything with Mr. Forests- that's the man I helped. He lent me the money I hadn't earned yet. So, you ready to go in, cariad?"

Jem stared at his friend- and then he lent forwards and kissed him light on the lips. It was incredibly new to Jem, but Will was warm and safe and he smelt like home, and it felt real to Jem, with the snow falling upon them.

It took a second, but Will kissed him back, until Jem pulled away and smiled at his parabatai. "As long as you are."

They headed in, holding hands. They did that a lot, but this time, it felt special to Jem. Perhaps it was the Christmas magic.

"By the way- what does cariad mean?" Jem asked, curiosity filling him. Will had called him that before, but he never asked before now.

"It means idiot," Will said, his grin bright and alive in the cold air. "Like you are."

Jem scowled, and shoved him lightly. "Oh, shut up!"

They laughed the whole way in.